Nachtrabe's Mind Shenanigans

[Heckhound]

Hi, Cyril. Nice to see a post of yours. :)

 

You should definitely use the drawing as your avatar. I'm sure it's fine!

[tulpa001]

Hey Cyril! How are you feeling?

[Cyril]

Hi, Cyril. Nice to see a post of yours. :)

 

You should definitely use the drawing as your avatar. I'm sure it's fine!

Hi, nice to meet you (... slightly more in person, that is)

The drawing made me look like a jerk, so I convinced my host to draw another thing. Looking like a jerk on a forum avatar seems counterproductive. And they need more practice anyway.

Alas, they are using a new art software they just bought, and are not very good at using it yet. It will probably take a long time until I get a picture I am truly happy with. 

(The thing N is currently drawing will likely be appended via an edit as soon as it is done and also show up as my avatar - we just wanted to get this post written before heading off to university)

 

Hey Cyril! How are you feeling?

Quite well, thank you.

However, I am currently rolling my eyes at N, who is being slightly incompetent at life again.

(N: what?)

Their cooking is very bad and they do not use their time very efficiently. 

(N: The ingredients I have suck, not my cooking, and I use my time exactly the way I want to use it, thankyouverymuch. Jeez.)

 

-

 

N also told me that I am allowed to write progress report updates if I want to. This sounds like a very reasonable idea. I will take them up on that offer.

 

So far, not much new has happened. We talk much, but little of true importance is said. This is fine, but does not make for a very good update.

 

N has been neglecting wonderland lately; they are bored of just one room and a small meadow and are too scared to venture out further. I am not sure if they are somehow afraid of getting lost - which would be illogical - or afraid to realize how bad their visualization skills actually are... which would also be illogical. I am not going to try and force them into anything, however.

 

I have finished going through N's memories - there may be more out there, but it got rather boring. N is not the most adventurous person, and many of the memories were also rather awkward.

 

Communicating with others as directly as possible is interesting, but not easy - it is hard to keep N from inadvertently censoring what I am saying. They also do not want me to copy their way of speaking, but are mildly put off by my current style as well. Knowing what they want is not one of N's strengths. I asked them to bold that last sentence but they refused, saying it was not relevant enough to warrant it. I disagree. That sentence is the story of my life.

 

N also accused me of losing my sense of humor as I grew. This is also not true, one just has to look very closely to find it. 

 

The trip we went on last week, the one N merely called ~*adventures*~, was rather enlightening. I did not manage to observe everything, as navigating an unknown city in a foreign country (whose language N speaks badly at best) took most of N's brain power, but they did show me several stunning works of art and culture. I consider myself quite lucky because of that. 

 

That should be all for now. I am looking forward to being more active on this forum.

 

-

 

/EDIT:

It lacks that certain something, but it will do for now.

I usually prefer red clothing, as it complements the wall color of my living room nicely*, but I wanted to have something orange or yellow in the picture.

 

*(N: which makes more sense if you know that his living room is my go-to environment for wonderland stuff)

 

(Additional note by N: we figured out his hair! I was reading "from Eroica with Love" because I remembered that that's a thing, and casually went "look, that's why I'm not going to give you bangs, you'll look like Klaus". His reaction was a very deadpan "good, use that as art reference". I still think bangs are a silly idea, but eh, if he's so dead set on them... plus, he has a point about the art reference. On a different note, why do pictures hosted on imgur show up as "broken" for me every dang time? 'Tis weird. Mystery solved, brain fart on my end. Multiple times.)

[Cyril]

Another small update.

 

First of all, I am happy to report that communicating in written form is steadily getting easier.

 

Unfortunately, N - as they put it - "did a stupid" that involved falling over a knee-high stack of wood and, among other things, losing some skin on their dominant hand. After they quite badly injured themselves falling off a kick scooter two weeks ago and somehow cut their finger on their wooden sock drawer last week, this was not terribly unexpected. However, it is getting ridiculous. Technically speaking, I do not experience pain - I only experience my host experiencing pain, which I could easily tune out. Unfortunately, a host in pain is a mentally exhausted and grumpy host, and that is a right pain in the neck. It makes me want to learn possession and switching. I may lack 21 years of body-steering experience compared to N, but not even I could possibly be this bad at... well, life.

 

On a more positive note, we might have figured out why N can remember me more clearly than they can hear or see me. Until now, we assumed there was a slight delay in processing tulpa-related information, but it seems more likely that N is actually subconsciously accessing my memories. This makes sense, as I can and do access N's memories in a similar manner. N does not seem to be able to access memories of me doing things on my own, though, which warrants further investigation. N also seems incapable of deliberately accessing specifically my memories. 

 

I also appear to be more socially inclined than N. 

N accuses me of lacking a brain-to-mouth-filter, as they put it, but I think they are merely over-using their filter. In any case, I have a much easier time writing and actually posting forum posts. N usually writes a post and then deletes it, as it seems pointless and of little importance. I do not have similar qualms. N spends much of our time online mentally face-palming and pretending to die of second-hand embarrassment. This is mildly amusing to me. To their credit, however, they are getting much better at not censoring me and letting me post the things I write.

[Saoirse]

We have no idea how N can think you don't have a sense of humor.  You're hilarious.

 

Definitely keep us posted on what you find of N not being able to remember stuff you did on your own.  I hadn't thought about that until now, but Dom can't do that with me either.

 

Oh, and keep your filter just as is.  You're refreshingly blunt about what you see in the world around you.  It's a good look on you.

[Heckhound]

N usually writes a post and then deletes it, as it seems pointless and of little importance.

 

Hey, N, stop doing this. We want to see you around the forums! Both of you. If everyone did this, there'd be no conversation happening.

[Cyril]

We have no idea how N can think you don't have a sense of humor.  You're hilarious.

 

Definitely keep us posted on what you find of N not being able to remember stuff you did on your own.  I hadn't thought about that until now, but Dom can't do that with me either.

 

Oh, and keep your filter just as is.  You're refreshingly blunt about what you see in the world around you.  It's a good look on you.

(N: His answer to that was terribly smug tulpish that basically amounted to "yes I am, glad you think so too")

 

We will try. It is very interesting to hear the we are not the only ones.

 

Thank you very much, and don't worry - I will stay exactly like I am. I quite enjoy being me. 

 

 

 

Hey, N, stop doing this. We want to see you around the forums! Both of you. If everyone did this, there'd be no conversation happening.

(N: I know, but that's easier said than done - it's a decade-long habit, and a very persistent one... Cyril seems to be of your opinion, though, and he's silently judging me every time I do that, so maybe I'll get better at actually posting things...)

 

-

 

As for another small update: Wonderland adventures have been had. I brought to N's attention that I created a sea shore near the hobbit hole. Said shore is based on N's memories of the White Cliffs of Dover. I suggested going to said shore to somewhat alleviate N's boredom regarding wonderland things. N seemed quite pleased with the suggestion, and asked me if we could fly there instead of simply teleporting. I agreed, though I considered it rather pointless, due to the small distance we had to travel. 

 

Along the way, N somehow lost their focus and we ended up at the edge of a deep, dark forest instead. It was an impressive sight, but not in the least intimidating. On the contrary: the big old trees (conifers, possibly spruce) seemed oddly inviting. I do not remember if it was N's or my idea, but we decided to explore the forest instead. 

 

Thus, we took a nice walk. N decided to cover the ground in very soft moss, and walk barefoot. I followed suit. Later on, we found a small, quiet clearing, laid down in the moss and dozed off until N had to leave.

 

I had quite a bit of fun, but N seemed positively awed. (N: ffff yeah, because I could smell the forest and feel the moss and hear the branches softly moving in a warm breeze and I felt like I'd actually see the forest if I opened my eyes. That was really nice. Plus, we don't have forests this nice around here, and there is something to be said for barefoot walks and being out in nature without having to worry about pointy things and getting a gazillion clingy plant parts (and spiders) out of my stuff afterward)

[Nachtrabe]

Super short update by me today, because I'm tired and proxying for Cyril would probably melt my brain:

 

Had a few chats about reasonably important things with Cyril, mostly concerning writing. Long story short, I tend to be an ass to my characters, Cyril took some very subtle clues regarding his personality and looks from one of those characters, I think that's significant enough to have moral qualms about being an ass to that character and Cyril thinks I should stop using him as an excuse to procrastinate. We've had this discussion about half a dozen times and I think he's pretty close to repeatedly banging his head against the nearest wall by now, but I'm still not convinced.

 

Bonus Bullshit Points because I'm pretty sure he actually incorporated some aspects of a proto-tulpa-like thing I semi-accidentally created to discuss plot ideas with years ago, so part of me being an ass to fictional characters was probably "his" idea in the first place.

 

We're also currently reading From Eroica With Love, because I remembered that that's a thing, and Cyril is not only way too easily amused, he's also rather intrigued by a certain Iron Klaus... and by the concept of comics and manga. On the other hand, he apparently doesn't quite know what to think of TV shows. That's pretty interesting, because I prefer my pictures moving and with sound and my books picture-less.

 

There is something to be said for mangas when you get to over-analyze and laugh about things with your mind buddy, though. Makes me want to write pop culture analysis, bad-early-2000's-MST-knockoff-style.

[Nachtrabe]

Actually really short update: Fell down the stairs, re-injured the elbow I horribly sprained three weeks ago (which had just started to heal properly) and badly scraped the one un-injured knee I had left.

 

Cyril is officially mad at me and refuses to talk, and I can't really fault him, tbh.

 

I'm trying to bribe him with a few more chapters of Eroica now - I miss his wise-ass comments.

[Heckhound]

Oh man. Get well soon. :(