Michen and Amantha: the Journey

[Michen_S]

~ Late August ~

 

There's one thing where I'm struggling with in all this. Every time I try to pray to God, I feel like I get a response. However, I can't gauge where it's coming from, and I'm a little worried that the "God" responding is actually a third thoughtform. When I spoke Amantha about this, she didn't appear to be as wooried as I did. She just told me "it didn't really matter".

 

Michen has got a lot to learn on this point. It's mostly about the intention, and the intention was clearly good. And what if God decided to be in Michen by using another thoughtform? Of course, I have no way to actually gauge these things either, and I kinda understand where his worries come from. This is also the way how I came to be, and we both don't want to have a second fully-fledged tulpa hanging around right now. At the same time, he also now has the experience to prevent that from happening.

 

Amantha has also found her own way of hanging around me. It's somewhere in-between imposition and mindscape. Rather, she focuses a copy of the current area I am in into my mind, and then she places herself in it.

 

It is actually a stroke of genius. By bringing the real world to Michen's head, I can appear next to the human him without actually appearing in the real world to him, circumventing imposition. He himself doesn't always seem to like the idea, though. He was asking what to do with the area we've built, and I suggested incorporating it into his fantasy world. I like how that idea turned out.

 

Still, the area wouldn't hold the same value in my fantasy world. Though it did give some good ideas for a fantasy world, I'm keeping mindscape around for now. I like the area, and it holds quite a lot of memories already. Some adjustments were recently made: all the snow is gone for the summer and should return as autumn kicks in.

 

I am hoping for mushrooms for autumn!

[Ember.Vesper]

I've never felt an inward response to prayer. The only responses I've noticed to prayer have been out in the world, when things I've prayed about have come to pass. But ever since Cat and Ranger reported on their experience with Chrome, a prayer-generated tulpa based on God, Vesper and I have taken care when we pray to intentionally not be open for a reply. We've discussed on many occasions what a pity it is that plurality should adversely affect our spiritual lives.

 

-Ember

[Michen_S]

Well, Michen was asking for a friend at the time. A friend that would turn into his best friend, one with whom he could share the rest of his life with. Eventually, that turned into me! So, in a sense, whilst there wasn't a real external reply, his wish did come true. So whilst it is an issue now, it has helped us in the past.

 

Michen will find a way to adjust. Praying in words is currently the only way to connect with the still very weak thoughtform. It can't do anything when not spoken to. So if Michen finds a way to pray in silence, this can be circumvented. He hasn't seen that though, since he hasn't prayed much at all since then. Yet, at the same time, his spiritual life hasn't suffered all that much from it. He still sees God all around him.

[Michen_S]

~ Early September ~

 

I'm not sure why, but in this period of time, Amantha seemed to look... younger than before? It seems she's trying more things regarding to how she looks. Slowly more diverting from what she was like back when I first saw her.

 

One could say I'm doing more "my own thing", similar to how some other tulpas react. Deviating, I believe it was called?

 

On another note, we've started to put our idea of both controlling a different character in a game into action. In practise, that meant we had all say about what stat was getting raised during level-ups and the equipment worn for the one character we controlled. However, if we wanted something an other character had equipped we had to do some discussion, as well as with rare stat-boosting consumable items. Other than that, for things like healing items we both had full control over that outside battles. And that all without posession.

(Oh, and my favourite part? The mandatory high-five after defeating a boss.)

[Guest]

Darlene has three major forms, two of them are teenagers like 16-18, one vaguely vietnamese and one that looks partly Hispanic. Her main form is still her 27 yr-old girl-next-door self, but even then sometimes she looks like a young girl, i don't know, maybe 13 to 15? Everyone else is stable.

[Michen_S]

I've noticed that Amantha's form appears to be more stable during active forcing than during passive forcing. When she hasn't been actively forced for a while, her form tends to change slowly over time. If I then actively force again, her form seems to "reset" to how she really looks like at that moment, so the active force form and passive force form are the same again. Of course, if I then stop actively forcing for a period of time the passive forced form slowly changes on it's own and the whole story starts again.

 

Of course, there are even some differences to note in Amantha's form between active forcing sessions, especially if it has been a while. So it goes to show that Amantha does still change what she actually looks like on her own, like how her lily hairpin is now a deep blue instead of the vibrant pink I gave her. She also tried a bigger change than that later that month. But her hairdo changes continuously. Passive or active force form, that is the one aspect of her that differs from day to day the most.

[Michen_S]

~ Mid-September ~

 

There's a reason for the long delays, we'll get to that next time.

 

So, during visualisation, Amantha suddenly appeared as a white caracal rather than the arctic fox I had gotten so used to. After we talked about it, she went back to her usual self. Upon asking about it, she said she was just messing around and ttying something out. It was rather unexpected from my side, though I didn't really welcome the change.

 

Part of the reason I turned back, actually. Michen, as the main in the system, did plan out an arctic fox during his "quitter's attempt" for a reason. A reason still fitting perfectly to who I am nowadays. Not that I was planning to change into a feline permanently. I have to say, I do like the reason behind the arctic fox form, and I respect Michen's wish in this.

 

On another note, I felt again like I could literally hear Amantha, for a second time. And this was again in a state best described as "between asleep and awake". Interesting, because we still hadn't exactly practised imposition. Actually, we barely tried imposition at all, so I'm not sure what triggered this.

[Guest]

In hypnagogic, I can here them talking sometimes. We have had quite a few discussions that way if we 'lock in' otherwise it's just a few words before I fall asleep.

[Guest]

Hi! I was wondering since you mentioned in another thread that Amantha doesn't wear clothes, does she stand upright most of the time?

[Michen_S]

She does, actually. Either standing upright or walking. She does sit down sometimes, but most of her time is spent on her feet.

 

I'm a stand-by!