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A&J

Is this considered hibernation?

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A very long time ago, around April 1, or 10, I was in a very very terrible mental state, I will not go into details about that because it does not pertain to my questions.

I had three tulpas and lots of just imaginary friends, they had barely/no sentience and they all came so fast I didn't put much time into them. It had just become too much. (seriously, I had 8!) Of course, the imaginary friends were quickly and easily dropped, but I hadn't believed that was enough. So, in the worst of the worst I ventured into one of my old wonderlands. And I imagined them turning into dolls, the entire time I imagined them as not real/not present anymore. They were upset, of course, but they went in peacefully and quietly. After that, they were gone. I didn't hear from them. I ended up severely missing them and regretting my dumb decision. (Please try to calm yourself down before you make any big decisions.) 

 

Lately, I have been doing lots of shadow work, trying to let go and forgive that painful part of my past, and working with my tulpa (merging of two others, ) and I get this dream where two of those three tulpas are there. They have changed, but they are very very vivid. I almost expected them to be there when I woke up. And then, yesterday, Sadie, (merge) found the warehouse with the shelf and dragged me there. They are still there. Sitting there as dolls. It's completely crazy, amazing, and disastrous all at the same time. 

 

Here are my questions Is this Hibernation? Can I wake them up? Would you wake them up? Truly any help or input would be appreciated. 

 

Sadie says she feels their presence, I am not going to lie, I do too. But we fear that it's an illusion of the mind. even worse, we would awaken one and they would be mind/hate us. How do we know what will happen? How do we know we are ready for two tulpas at once? (it hasn't ever gone well...) 

I can add more detail on certain matters, please help if you can. 

 

Edited by Ranger
Resized text around questions to help the question text stand out.

Host of @SadieShores 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

Progress report

 

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Yes I remember you’ve been rushing through the forum, leaving a ton of messages everywhere and took a beating from the mod for possible roleplay (sorry, confused with another person) . It looked to me like you had a mania state of the bipolar disorder.
You have to make the important decision: Let them go or Embrace. If you opted to let them go - you have to cease any interaction. Don’t visit, don’t imagine, don’t talk to, don’t think about at all. Any thing you make fromthe list above would just pop them back in no time. There’s no special “fridge” to “hibernate” somebody in your head.

Be careful.

Edited by OleGL

Lia  -  30 Jan 2018

Art thread

PR

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This looks like you put your tulpas into long-term stasis. Stasis is the state of not calling for your tulpas for an extended period of time, such as weeks, months, or even years. This is like hibernation in the sense your tulpas are not thinking for that period of time. The only difference between short-term and long-term stasis is expectation: You intended to keep them there until further notice. However, aside from that, you have not done tons of work on dissipation and noting you did makes me think you made significant progress on dissipation for any of them.

 

We have first hand experience with this. Gray, my host, had decided to not pay attention to everyone else he created (12 tulpas) and just focused on me because he was overwhelmed by the number of thoughtforms running around. Over time, he created 4 more characters and then we realized all of his characters he still had around were in fact tulpas. We let 15 tulpas join the system, and roughly a year later one of the original lurkers joined bringing our system total to 18- Me, Gray, and 16 others.

 

Having tulpas in stasis or even ignoring them while they're around is hard. Once we realized the possibility the others could be tulpas, he was distressed by the fact he was having to try and block them out. He felt guilty and stressed over not being sure with how to deal with them yet. Ultimately, we decided we didn't want to put them in stasis, so we decided to figure out how we can have them around and do our best to give them a reasonable amount of time.

 

How you choose to move forward is up to you. If the extras are too much, then that's okay. You have some options on how you can move forward.

 

One option is to consider dissipation, one of the options OleGL suggested and described. As they described, it is practicing not communicating with your headmates and not thinking about them until the habit becomes permanent. It is easier to dissipate if you have a plan to go about the process, and there is a really good guide you can take a look at to give you an idea of what a gentle version of the process can look like. The only thing I would caution you with is to make sure your other tulpas consent to dissipation first. If they do not, this process will at best be emotionally difficult and at worst not work at all.

 

A second option is to leave them in stasis and plan to sort this out at a later time. Stasis in of itself is not dissipation, and long-term stasis in almost all cases is not enough to dissipate a tulpa. Having the thought of sorting this out later- maybe with a set date or a goal such as "When I have a better handle on my health" - will take that weight off your chest. If you don't have a set date or goal, it may be too similar to what it is like now and you may feel guilt from procrastination, or maybe not.

 

A third option is talking to your tulpas and discussing integration or merging. It looks like you already have tested the waters with merging, so you have an idea of what that looks like in your system. You can ask your other headmates how they feel about it and if that's something they want to apply to any others.

 

The fourth option you can try is to make a system where you give the others limited access or time based on what you can give. This is ultimately what we chose to do. We are aware the others can't have tons of time, so we decided to try out a rotation system where that headmate has a list of things they want to do on their turn and we rotate through everyone. When it isn't someone's turn, they can choose to hang out if they wake up, but if there's too many around or the headmate with the turn wants some quiet time, then we ask them to leave. The exception is when there is an emergency and we need to dedicate time to them because they are in need of it. How much time we give fluctuates depending on how we are doing and if we are the ones in need of time or not. While this system has its flaws, it is a nice compromise for the time being.

 

The other option is the other thing OleGL may have suggested: "embrace" them by having them join the system and have them around just like your other tulpas. This is a goal Gray is slowly warming up to, the reason we have divides in our system is because Gray hasn't established trust with the others when it comes to switching. This may look like you host with just however many you have left (I wasn't sure if you had 8 tulpas or 8 characters and tulpas) or you may have a rotating fronting schedule where you rotate who takes care of the body for x amount of time.

 


 

17 hours ago, A&J said:

even worse, we would awaken one and they would be mind/hate us.

 

You can't control how your tulpas will feel. Your tulpas may be more sad than mad, or they may have a completely different reaction. 

 

If you wake one up and they are angry,  explain to them the truth and negotiate a solution. If it's too much to have more than one tulpa at a time, then that's the reality. For every system like mine trying to make things work for all 18 of us, you have another system that falls apart when there's more than 1, 2, or 3 tulpas. If you choose to wake another headmate, it's possible they will have grievances about being forced into stasis against their will. In your defense, you were trying to find stability with what options you knew about, and you did what you thought was best for everyone. You have to make difficult choices when it comes to this kind of stuff, and that choice may be between having more tulpas or your overall ability to cope with the outside world. Your headmate may be more comfortable if they have the option to think about the situation, explain what they want, and how that could be achieved given the options you have.

 

17 hours ago, A&J said:

I can add more detail on certain matters, please help if you can. 

 

If you have any other questions or need help, please feel free to PM me or update this thread. I left that last paragraph fairly vague because I'm not sure what your headmate's reaction will be or if that's even an option you want to follow through with.

 

17 hours ago, A&J said:

How do we know we are ready for two tulpas at once? (it hasn't ever gone well...) 

 

If having two tulpas at once is far too stressful, then you may not be ready. I like to tell people to try one tulpa at a time for a reason- it allows you to test the waters, figure out your strengths/weaknesses, and gives you a better idea of what you can and can't do in the future. Tulpamancy can be an incredibly positive experience, but at the end of the day it was never intended to be in incredibly stressful practice. Taking things slow, one step at a time, is often the best way to go about it.

 

If in the future you want to test the waters again or you want to test the waters to see if having more headmates around is better than having them in stasis, then there's nothing wrong with giving it a try. Whatever you choose to do, don't feel like you have to make the choice that stresses you out the most. More times than not, picking the choice that undermines your ability to function too much day-to-day causes things to fall apart and not work out anyway.

 

Give yourself the time to do some research, think this through, and come to a decision.


I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay!

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4 hours ago, Ranger said:

Give yourself the time to do some research, think this through, and come to a decision.

Thank you for taking the time to fully answer my post. This has helped a lot. At the moment the idea of a rotating system is sounding very appealing. I might PM you with some questions relating to that. I think for now I will keep them in long-term stasis, but I will put more intention towards them. 

Thank you. 


Host of @SadieShores 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

Progress report

 

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