Is there such thing as over reliance on an tulpa?

[horsetulpamancer]

Hello all! Me and applejack have at least been together for a year now.
But I’m worried about one thing. Whenever I feel any slight sadness my instant urge is to come to her and just cuddle her. 

 

Does this anger a tulpa? Is this unethical to your tulpa? I don’t want to hurt applejack’s feelings.

[Ranger]

Cat has worried about this too, she found that she wants me around to talk to or cuddle when she's upset.

 

I don't have a problem with it, I appreciate feeling needed for those moments. If Applejack isn't worried about it either, I think you're fine.

 

I don't think feeling dependent on your headmates is a bad thing, it's more of a side effect of being in a system. When you spend your whole life with someone every day on that level, you get used to them being around and you adapt your lifestyle to account for them.

[Zen 禅]

Dependence on someone is only bad when you use it to cover for negative behaviour, or when someone in a relationship is not having their needs met. But there's nothing wrong with seeking comfort in someone's presence by itself - that is healthy behaviour that more people could do with learning.

 

15 minutes ago, horsetulpamancer said:

Does this anger a tulpa? Is this unethical to your tulpa? I don’t want to hurt applejack’s feelings.

Most tulpas seem to be highly accepting by default so I'd be surprised if any sort of affectionate display made them feel uncomfortable, unless they've grown beyond that in some way and decided that the behaviour is negative.

 

Basically though, as with any sort of relationship, the best advice is to talk to them about it. Ask them what they feel about the situation.

[Glaurung26]

In my experience it's always been self-consciousness on my part. Jaina has always been more than happy to comfort assist me. It makes her feel helpful and validated to do so I guess. It's why I initially created her so it's in her nature. She's told me she just wants what's best for me and she'll always be there so I guess it's up to my best judgement.

 

Trust your instincts, and conscience, and make sure to touch base with your tulpa. They'll probably be flattered that you thought to ask about their well-being on your own initiative.

[Guest]

Naa, it's like, would you be upset if your mother, father, best-friend, sibling that you love, etc actually wanted to give you attention?

 

[Misha] it's always been like my job to comfort Bear through snuggle-therapy, and I love my work.

 

[Ashley] she's a workaholic.

Edited February 23, 2021 by BearBeaBeau