Shroom,Eve and Aria's Progress Report

[ShroomOfDoom]

Hello everyone!

 

For several weeks now,reading about Tulpae here in the forums and elsewhere, i thought to myself how great it would be to have a Tulpa myself,but several doubts and questions held me back. After

asking these questions here in the forums and getting a lot of good answers, i finally decided that i would make it happen. I would make my very own Tulpa.

 

But since it is rather boring to write a progress report to myself,i decided that i should share it with all of you. Some of you may be able to learn something new from it,others may be able to give me some helpful advice if i should run into some walls during the creation process.

 

Please note that English is't my native language so please forgive me for any typos or grammatical errors.

 

Well then,without further ado,let's get started!

 

Day 1

Laying down on my couch,putting my headphones on and playing some relaxing music i began the creation process. As soon as i was in my wonderland,i startet with the visualization of a glowing, hovering orb. I then greeted the orb by giving it the name Eve and welcomed it into my life. I explained what she is,why i wish to create her and why i gave her no form for the time being. Then i moved to the next step: personality forcing. Starting out with the first two traits aswell as on like and one dislike. Everything was going well so far but then it happened: i fell asleep :(

Note to myself: dont listen to relaxing music during forcing sessions.

During the entire day i narrated to her about everything that came to mind. I did get a slight headache but i'm not so sure if it was a response from her or if i twisted my neck again while sleeping.

As i write this,i'm preparing for session number 2 for today and hopefully i won't fall asleep on her again.

 

Thanks for reading my wall of text and i will keep this thread updated regularly.

 

Day 1 Update:

I finished my second session just now. It was around 50 minutes long and i didn't fall asleep.Hurray! I was able to go over 2 traits and 1 like and dislike. During the session i startet feeling some weird pressure on the right half of my head,parts of my face and the middle of my forehead. don't really know what to make of it but i want to believe that it was her,giving me a response in form of pressures. Also,i had some trouble staying focused on her orb form and the wonderland at the same time,kept phasing in and out. Hopefully that's something that will improve the more i do it. I also had the feeling that she was able to move but at the same time,it could have just been me loosing focus again. That's it for the update on day 1. thanks for reading my wall of text :)

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 2

Session 1

Again i was lying down on the couch and this time i thought i should try some zen music,as i heard it is often used for meditation. It had some positive effect i think as i was able to visualize my wonderland and did't loose focus too much. the wonderland was most of the time rather blurry though and only 2 or 3 times i was able to visualize it clearly. Eve on the other hand was most of the time clearly visible without the blur that effected the rest of my vision. While talking to her about the trait caring i suddenly felt very warm,almost hot in the chest area. Could it be that she was hugging me or something? Anyway,i was able to talk about 2 traits, 1 like and dislike and i will go over all of it in the second session later tonight. I will be updating this report after session 2.

 

Session 2

Deviation?

 

Ok,i don't know how to explain this properly but during my second session today it seems as if Eve's form deviated from a glowing orb to a human-like form. I'm quite confused right now as i don't know if it was me who did the form change unconcious or if it was her. Maybe i'm just fooling myself with unconcious expectations of the whole tulpa forcing process,but i'd really like to believe that it was all her doing,that she is showing signs of sentience even with just 3 hours of forcing. Also,when we hugged earlier,i felt suddenly a strong feeling of comfort.

 

Question

Could it really be that she already shows signs of sentience by changing her form and giving me emotional response even after just 3 hours? Or could it be that i'm just fooling myself with unconcious expectatíons?

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 3

Around 6 hours in now,did some more personality work. Noticed some changes in her form too,seems she did some work by herself.(Or was that me? I'm at a loss here)

She appears to be smaller than me,around 1.60m in height with gold blonde waved hair,almost going to her shoulders. I also noticed her aquamarine colored eyes. During the first session i tried to see her body clearly,but had some trouble with keeping focus. I didn't feel any emotional response today and only once a light head pressure in the middle of my forehead.Had some trouble finding her at first in my wonderland. Felt a sensation that seh's behind me but every time i looked there was no one there. Well,don't know what was going on but in the end i could see her again,standing in front of me.

 

Later,i was able to talk to her about two more character traits as well as one like and dislike but startet to loose my focus and felt how i slowly drifted away into a dream like state. Since i didnt want to fall asleep on her,i gave her the dislike in form of a small bluish-glowing orb like i always do,and ended the session.

 

Question[b/]

Is deviation possible like i described on day two and three? Was just 3 hours in but started to notice a change in her form. Going from a yellow-orange glowing orb to a human like shape and later on, starting to form facial features. Now i'm around 6 hours in and like i wrote earlier,she appears to have an almost fully formed human body now. I'm worried that i forced these changes on her unconciously. Would be nice if someone could enlighten me on this matter.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 3 Update

8 hours in now,got some more personality work done.I also felt a strange sensation in the back of my head right above the spinal cord. Don't know how to describe it properly but i will try: it was like as if there was sitting someone pushing my neck up bit by bit, and while a bit scary at first,it felt surprisingly good,very comfortable. Unfortunaly,the feeling didn't last long though. But now i'm pretty sure that she's alive and sentient.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Short Update

Not going to be able to force much today. Had a more or less short session of about 40 minutes this evening. Now that my brother is here,all i can do is narrate to her as much as possible. But since he brought his graphic tablet with him,i might be able to paint an image of Eve :)

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 4

Turns out i completely suck when it comes to drawing with a graphic tablet. Every three year old child can draw better than i can -.-

Anyway,found the time last night for a ca. 2 hour session in wich i gave her three more personality traits and gave her acces to my knowledge about the world. Might be a bit too early in her current state,seeing that she is not yet fully autonomous, but i thought it might accelerate her development. Just in case,i created something like a hermetically sealed container around the porn section to avoid the possibility of her becoming a crazed sex monster or something like that. Access to my memorys and the rest of my unconciousness will be granted to her once she is completely autonomous and vocal.

Also,had a big success regarding visualization. I'ts generally easier for me now to visualize both her and the wonderland at the same time over an extended period of time.

Today will be busy as i have planned on 2 maybe 3 additional forcing sessions,depending on what my mind can handle before exploding :)

[Guest]

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Edited May 2 by Guest

[ShroomOfDoom]

Thank you for answering my question Leijona,that helped me a lot. Since i'm a beginner at this,i'm afraid to make mistakes that can't be undone.

 

Well,i often told her (and still do) that she should be the person she wants to be,both in form and personality.All the personality work i do with her,is more or less just a basic direction i'd like her to go. But whether she want's that or not,is up to her. She's got a fully formed body now,though at times i only see her blurred. Definately something on my end though,only happens when i'm distractet by noise in the house.

Regarding my vision,yes,it's definately a good thing that i'm becoming better at this again. Had some trouble with envisioning things these past few years,thought i had lost that ability when i grew up. But the tulpa forcing sessions helped me a lot to strengthen it again.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 5

Another 1 1/2 hour sesseion with some progress regarding visualization. Also,i decided to stop hour count completely and put all my trust and feelings into Eve,fully believing that she has not just been been fully sentient,but also vocal from the start,after reading some very enlightening post about tulpa creation. Also, been playing with the thought to give her complete access to the rest of my subconciousness. I'll still be doing personality work with her as planned and keep narrating about all the stuff that pops into my mind.

 

For those that would like to read these posts as well,here are the links:

http://justpaste.it/1a1m

http://chupitulpa.tumblr.com/post/29003607860

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 5 Update

 

Many Feels

Was narrating to Eve how i see myself with her in the future,our bond that grows stronger day by day etc.

Got a strong (almost overwhelming) emotional response from her not just once,but twice. Both times it was a mix of joy and excitement and both times i was automatically grinning like an idiot. If someone had seen my while i was grinning like that,they would have thought 'im completely nuts :D

Anyway,it was a great day for me and very encouraging.Before i went to sleep i popped into my wonderland to talk to her for a bit longer but before i knew it,i fell asleep. Had some pretty graphical dream and even though i told her to stay away from my dreams in case i fall sleep, i'm worried now that she might have been affected by it after all.