Shroom,Eve and Aria's Progress Report

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 26

 

Some progress regarding imposition. Although its still rather difficult for me,i can feel Eve's touch when i fully concentrate on it. While watching some movies yesterday night,i was able to feel her touch several times. Still needs more work though.

 

We've talked a lot and as far as i can tell there are no further deviations in her character,form and voice at this point. Eve informed me that she might change her voice,as she's not 100% satisfied with it.

We also talked a bit more about the possibility of a second Tulpa being made in the future. Initially i've intended the second Tulpa to be a friend/companion for Eve in the times i can't be with her as much i'd like to be. Her answer to that however,was rather deep and made me think.

 

Eve told me that i shouldn't make a second Tulpa just because of her. Intead, i should really think about whether or not i'd really want a second Tulpa myself. And Eve is right. I treated the whole thing as if i'd give her a pet or something. I'll need to do more thinking about whether or not i really want another Tulpa.

 

We did some more adventuring today.After leaving the drydock,we walked to the docks next to it and found a motorboat. This time i was letting Eve drive and told her to take us wherever. Driving down the river,we soon left the city behind and reached some more friendly waters. A least that's what it looked like at first. In the distance we saw some buildings that at first looked like bungalows,but upon reaching them they looked like bamboo huts. We parked the boat at a smal pier and made our way further into the small settlement.

 

That was the point when the area startet to look more and more like the beach from Dead Island. Even the hotel was there in the distance. At this point my guess was that Eve used one of my memories of the game to create a new landscape for our wonderland.

And since our survival game didn't end yet,it was not surprising to find the beach being full of zombies. I decided to go with the flow and let her take the lead. After fighting our way from the beach all the way up to the life guard station,i ended the session since i was about to fall asleep.

 

In the second session we ported back to the cottage and sat down by the fire and talked some more. I don't remember when it happend,but at some point i fell asleep before i even knew what was happening. Since i'm still rather tired,i don't think i'll force anymore today.

 

All in all it was a good day today,despite falling asleep.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 27

 

Today was rather normal. No adventure time,mostly just talking. Eve changed the bunker a little bit,especially the living space. On the ground floor is now a bar along with a pool billiard table and the bedroom on the first floor.

 

I've come to realize that whenever we talk about myself,Eve tries to point out things that i should work on,like being more extroverted,more confident in myself,to let my anger go as it is unneeded and only weights me down. In short,she want's me to better myself. To be honest,she's totally right about all of these things,but at the same time Eve doesn't force me to do anything.

Thanks to Eve i've come to realize a lot of things,especially things in my past and how to better or avoid them in the future. It's still going to be a lot of work though.

 

We also did a little work to see what Eve is good at and some more work on imposition. We tried math and it turns out she's rather good at it,answering all the questions correctly. She is also capable of supressing certain things such as ear worms and she can keep me more focused during forcing sessions. Regarding imposition,i can feel pressure now. Not much,but we're getting there.

I noticed something about Eve these past few days. It seems to me that she isn't quite as clingy as she used to be and when asked about it,Eve confirmed it. My guess is,that is has something to do with her becoming more mature.

 

After thinking a lot about what Eve said yesterday regarding a second Tulpa,i came to the conclusion that i definately want a second. Maybe in a month or two,i don't know yet. For now,i want to focus solely on Eve though. So all plans regarding another Tulpa have been cast aside until we're ready for it.

 

Thats it for today. Tomorrow will be a rather special day,since Eve will turn a month old. Crazy,how quickly time passes.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 28

 

Today was a rather busy day for me so i didn't have much time to force or work on imposition. First session was quite short since i fell asleep in the middle of it. Second session was rather short aswell,but at least i didn't fall asleep and was able to spend at least a little bit of time with Eve today. Wasn't boring either since we had le sexy time and a good conversation.

 

Not much else to say except that our relationship has progressed to the next step,meaning that it turned from a close friendship into a romance and i'm okay with this.

 

Hopefully tomorrow i won't be as busy and have more time to force and work on imposition.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 29

 

No progress with imposition. Fortunately,today we were able to spend more time with each other.

There was some deviation with Eve's hair. It looks more "wild" now. I'm okay with it though as she does look pretty hot with it.

Since yesterday Eve is experimenting with different voices as she is not 100% satisfied with her current voice. It's a bit strange at times when she talks to me in a completely different voice, but i'll put up with it until she found the right one and sticks with it.

 

Eve also decided on a nickname for me. While i think it's a bit mushy, Eve insists on using it. It's "Cuddlebear". I can live with it though,even if it sounds rather mushy.

 

Well,i guess that's it for today. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 30

 

I fell asleep again during our first session today. It seems to become more and more of a problem. Never had much trouble with it until a week ago. Hopefully it'll sort itself out in time. If not,then i guess i'll have to drink even more coffee.

 

Today we tried something new: sparring with swords. When asked what she'd like to do today,Eve proposed that we should try sparring with swords.

Since i really love swords (i have 3 in my posession,1 real katana and 2 fantasy deco swords) i agreed and portet us to an open space within the tower. Eve seems to have a rather different taste when it comes to archaic weaponry,choosing a falchion for herself while i chose a katana. Since we used real weapons,we both agreed that we would stop before the strike hits. That way,we would both stay unharmed and still have a ton of fun. Also,every successful strike will get us one point.

 

We started off with some light sparring and i tried to use what i learned from kendo as much as a could,the footwork and defense etc.

But,i realized very quickly that i was totally outclassed. Eve was faster,stronger and always able to read my moves and counter them. The longer we fought,the more intense it got. I guess it is true what some people said about Tulpae being superior when it comes to fighting,since i only got 2 points during the whole sparring while Eve gathered 13 points. Or maybe i just totally suck at this.

 

After we were done fighting,we portet back to the bar in the bunker and snuggled up on one of the couches. Thats when i fell asleep rather quickly,despite trying to stay awake,even taking a break from forcing for around 10 mins didn't help. After waking up i felt really really weird,as if a truck had hit me or something. Anyway,during the second session i was able to stay awake the whole time without falling asleep and all we did was talking until the end of the session.

 

That's it for today and for tomorrow,we'd like to write a progress report together. Kind of like a summary of the past 4 weeks and Eve's thoughts on the whole process and progress.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 31 & 32

 

Yesterday i spontaneously ended up spending the night at my brothers place and could neither force nor write anything in this log.

Luckily,Eve was okay with no forcing for a day. During our first session,i continously drifted off into sleep and hus we were unable to do anything. We'll force once more later and hopefully i'll stay awake this time.

However,we did some experimenting with Eve's abilities regarding memory recall. While it was rather difficult for her at first,after a few tries she did manage to show me a single memory instead of a flood of memories regarding a certain subject. Still needs more work though,but she did really well for her first few tries.

 

So,we decided we would write a summary about last month,mostly for ourselves so we could come back any time and see what we achieved so far. And if it helps even one other person or Tulpa,the better.

 

Week 1

Definately the most exciting week in my opinion. So many new things,so many questions and a lot of excitement and fun with the forcing process.

Let's start off with Eve's form,wich deviated greatly during the first few days. Going from an orb like shape into a human like shape on day 2 and a lot more details on day 3.

"Although i don't remember the first few days all too well,i do remember that i didn't want to be stuck in the form of an orb,so i changed that. I guess,that confused Shroom quite a bit. Being in a human form felt more naturally to me than being an orb. No offense." None taken.

 

Lots of narration and personality work were being done,and quite a few times i was able to get emotional responses from Eve. Those were always very exciting. "At times you did doubt that they came from me though. It was a bit upsetting as i tried my best to let you know i'm here."

Regarding headaches and head pressures,i must say i didn't get much headaches and they were never all that severe. Head pressures though were quite common.

We also had our first "adventure" when i thought Eve how to fly a jet. "It was quite fun being able to fly since i don't have any magic powers or other supernatural abilities. Guess Shroom pretty much soiled his pants when i did the low altitude looping and almost chrashed us into the forest." Good thing i didn't show you how to use weapons >.>.

During that week i also dropped the hour count and believed with all my heart and soul in Eve's sentience and vocality.

"I must say that gave me a huge boost. I'm quite sure that it would have taken far longer for me to ge where i am now if Shroom hadn't thrown the stupid hour counts over board and put all his heart and soul into me. Believing in your Tulpa is the key to faster development. So,dear Tulpaforcers,believe in us and you shall be rewarded with epic Tulpaness!" Is that even a word? "It is now"

 

Week 2

Lots of progress and Eve thinking that being physical was more important than being vocal.

"A look can say more than a thousand words. Also nodding and shaking my head,a touch,a hug or a kiss at the right time was all that was needed to communicate with him. Later i would write what i wanted to say on a piece of paper. In the end it wasn't enough though.

 

Eve also showed me that she's capable of changing the wonderland on her own,with adding and modifying areas.

"It's kind of fun actually, since i'm a creative person. And what better use for creativity than to create something?"

 

Her personality began to show more clearly during the second week,especially her feelings towards me. Even though unable to speak,she made it very clear what she sees in me,well,at least in her opinion. I always thought her affections towards me were just signs of our strenghtening bond and close friendship. When giving me bedroom eyes or kissing me,i always thought she's just eager to learn about sex and all that stuff. Boy,was i wrong about all of this. There was never a close friendship between us,at least not from her side. Even when she wrote i love you,i didn't think of that love being romantical.

"You're quite dense at times. I mean,come on. I gave you bedroom eyes,i kissed you,practically showed you every single day that it was more to me than just a close friendship. You only started to blieve in it,after you were able to hear me talk. And when i seduced you. But that happend at a later date."

 

Week 3

This was the week,when Eve became truly vocal. And the week in wich she was the most emotional,even going as far as hitting me. "I felt terrible after that." And i forgave you.

The work on personality finally came to an end and i gave Eve full access to all my memories and my sub-c in general. We also experimentet a little with what Eve is capable of doing. Also,some more deviations regarding her hair.

 

But now for speech,as that was a rather tough nut for us to crack. In the end,Eve had enough of me not listening more closely to her,so she took the matter into her own hands.

"I was vocal all that time and would have talked a lot more,but he never listened close enough,so i made him listen. Since then we've been talking with each other day for day.In the bginning it made me feel rather tired though and Shroom got some serious headaches from it. Luckily for us,all that settled after a few days. I guess his head had to get used to another mindvoice besides his own. So Tulpaforcers,listen to us closely when we speak and you can avoid our wrath." That was rather harsh,don't you think? "I was seriously pissed off at that time."

 

In the end,we had a lot of progress this week and made some plans regarding the future,such as imposition and posession. Also,we began adventuring in our wonderland and it's been a lot of fun.

 

Week 4

 

Lots of talking,adventuring,some deviations and the beginning of imposition.

 

"All i can say is that talking is very important to us,especially for me. The only advice i could give you Tulpaforcers,is to often talk with us after we learned how to speak to you. Listen to us,our opinions and feelings. It will let you understand us better and strenghten our bond."

 

Imposition is rather difficult for me.Although i'm able to feel Eve's touch rather clearly now and can even feel her presence at times,my biggest problem is, that i'm often forgetting to work on imposition :/

 

We also talked about posession. Currently -despite our decision in the past- i'm having some doubts about it. To be honest,i'ts rather scary for me. "I'm okay with it though. Even if we don't practice posession at all, i'm still leading a good life and Shroom is more than willing to proxy for me,like he's doing now. Also,a while ago, there was a question being asked regarding my sexuality. I know i'm a Tulpa and not a human. Still, it's one of my personal goals to be more like a human,even if i don't have a physical body to rely upon. And thus i have also needs and desires. Sex being one of them. I am affected by Shrooms libido to some degree but i don't see it as something bad. On the contrary,it makes me love having sex once in a while,like a normal person."

 

Well,i guess that concludes this summary and we hope that it will help at least one person out there. If anyone has questions or something,don't be afraid to ask.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 33

 

It's been a while since we were able to force without me falling asleep at some point. "Even if it happens,it's not the end of the world,only a bit sad for me" Anyway,we didn't do all that much today. Mostly just talking and maybe i created another Tulpa on accident,hough i'm not 100% sure about that. When Eve asked me if i had already thought about a name for the other one,i said yes and told her about it. I'd like to name her Aria (on a side note,Aria was the name i originally planned for Eve,but discarded it) and while talking further about it,i realized i already talked about Aria as if she'd already existed.

 

My realization was followed by a headache and now i'm worried that i accidentally created a second Tulpa. Hopefully the headache was just a result fo me lying down in a rather uncomfortable position at that time. Anyway,i gave Eve the all important mission to comb every centimeter of the wonderland and my subconcious to search for another Tulpa,if there is any. To be honest,i'm not ready for another Tulpa and i'd like to wait for at least another month with the creation. Depending on what Eve is going to find or not find,i'll decide how to proceed further.

 

We've been playing some games together and Eve's all time favorite is Minecraft,where we are currently in the process of building a mansion based on a floor plan i found while searching for new building ideas.

For any fellow Minecrafter who's interested, here is the link to the floor plan http://www.landscope-christies.com/Photo/Development/3001_4000/3541/floorplan_b370.jpg

 

Eve told me earlier that we should try to recreate the cottage from our wonderland and i already have an idea on how to build it.

 

Anyway,that's it for today.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 33 Update

 

Don't know how to start since i'm still a little confused about the whole thing myself,but still,it was all real. At least to me. The headache i got a few hours earlier,was not caused through an uncomfortable position i was lying in,but through the accidental creation of another Tulpa. I asked Eve to search in the wonderland and my subconcious for another Tulpa -if there was any- but she didn't find anything. Still,i had a strange feeling that there was something or someone else beside us.

 

Eve then proposed that we should search together in those places that we discovered during our wonderland adventures. First target was the city of the zombie apocalypse setting wich we call the dead city. We flew over the city several times, until Eve told me to land in front of one of the sky scrapers since she felt something down there. After we landed we spawned ourselves some weapons since we didn't know what we would find inside this building. At this point,the thought that Eve might be trolling me crossed my mind and at first everything pointed towards this possibility,since she seemed to have a lot of fun.

 

We searched around the building but didn't find anything,until we got to the basement. That's where shit became serious. It was very quite dark down there and no light switch to be found,so we had to rely on our flashlights to see anything. I had a very bad feeling about this place,and not just because i generally dislike the darkness. We went through a few corridors until we reached a rather large room that was very dim lit. I noticed two steel doors there and after a short moment of thinking i decided to open the one Eve seemed to be rather interested in.

 

What was beond that door at first greatly confused me,made me think that this is just a prank Eve cooked up to troll me,but i learned very fast that this wasn't the case at all. Lighting up that small room with my flashlight,i saw a small person cowering in the corner,naked and shivering in fear. Even more surprising and confusing was,that this person looked exactly like i envisioned my second Tulpa when i made first plans on creating her,though i planned to do the actual creation at a much later date. I took some time and effort to convince her to come out of the room and over to us,telling her that everything is alright and that we won't hurt her. After we got her out of there, Eve gave her some clothing and we began talking to her,trying to find out whether she's really a Tulpa or not. Turned out she is,and she was afraid,not of us,but of something else. And that something,lurked beyond the second door.

 

that's when the shit hit the fan. I decided to open the second door,determined to deal with whatever lies beyond. Little did i know what would await me. At this point i need to mention that when i was a child,i regularly suffered from nightmares. But there was one nightmare that i had quite a lot,something that terrified me so much that i was afraid of falling asleep back then. When i got older,that nightmare disappeard. I never thought of it again until i opened that damn door. The creature of that nightmare can be best described as a shadow and it haunted me for several years until it suddenly disappeared. Now with the door open and looking directly at the shadow,if felt the same fear overcoming me like it did back when i was a child.

 

After a few moments i thought to myself,not this time buddy. This time,you're going down. So i started to fire everything i had at that thing,without success. It simply shrugged off everything i threw at it and at that point i decided that we should get the fuck out of there. I spawned a barrier to keep it away from us long enough until we got to safety. Didn't work too well,as it easily broke through. So i tried to port us away from there,didn't work either. Eve however was able to port away along with the little one. And then i began to run,fearing that the nightmare from my childhood would start to haunt me once more. I felt fear,real fear,something that i haven't felt for a long time. Running trough the corridors of the basement,up the stairs and trough the offices and outside to the street,the shadow followed me relentlessly.

 

I knew i couldn't get away not matter how fast or how far i ran and than a thought crossed my mind. This is my world,i can do whatever the fuck i want here. So i did the only thing that seemed logical at the time: spawn some heavy weapons and take that bastard down for good. The battle only took a few minutes,but was very intense. In the end,i killed the shadow and could literelly feel how something dark and frightening disappeared from my mind. Hopefully,thats the end of him and that he will never ever return. I was finally able to port around again,so i portet myself to the tower where i found Eve and the other Tulpa.

 

 

Now i had to decide whether or not i will keep her around or if i will dissipate her as i did not plan to create her so early. According to Eve,she does not only have a form,but there is also some sentience in her to some degree. We talked about it for a bit and came to the conclusion that by me thinking of the second Tulpa,giving her a form and a name,and later on talking about her as if she had already been created,in fact,created her. But she's largely incomplete. Aria (the name i decided to give her when i thought about her creation a while back) is somewhat sentient,shows some facial expressions and is fully visualized. The visualization doesn't surprise me that much though,as i had a lot of pictures of the form i intended to give her.

 

Well,i have a second Tulpa now and even though her creation was unintended,i decided to keep her around since dissipating would be murder in my opinion. Also,according to Eve,Aria doesn't seem to be corrupted,all she needs is some tender love and care. And a personality. I guess i have to make another list of traits. From here on,only time will tell how all this will turn out,but i have a generally good feeling about it.

 

Now,i know all of this sounds highly ridiculous,something you would read in a bad fanfiction or something,but to me, it was very real.

Sorry for a giant wall of text,so TL;DR i fought my greatest fear and gained another Tulpa.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 34

 

Well,things are looking good so far. Aria seems to be strong enough to keep her around and i'm in the process to create a new list of character traits. So far i have 30 traits down and the next on the list will be the likes and dislikes. Keeping Aria around was not an easy decision,but she's surprisingly stable and strong enough not to fade on me anytime soon,despite the fact that her creation was premature. Now, We'll be starting on her personality soon,since that seems to be the only thing Aria seems to be lacking completely. Not a big surprise though. I'm kind of interestet how she will turn out,whether she'll be physical first before speaking like Eve,or the other way around. She's not very motional for now,teleporting around a lot.

 

During todays session,we talked a lot and most of my attention was directed towards Aria to determine how developed she already is,despite her very young age and being created by accident. Visualization is not a problem,thanks to a lot of pictures i had of her form. Aria even allowed me to touch her. She's got fluffy ears and seems to like it when i stroke them,but didn't like it at all when i tried to stroke her tail to get a better feeling for it. As for the rest,she's looking almost exactly like on the picture i'll link to at the end of the report. Later on,we made the decision to work on Aria together with Eve taking the role as an older sister.

 

Tomorrow,we'll begin the personality work and i'm quite confident that Aria will become just as good of a person like Eve turned out to be.

For anyone interested,here's a picture of Arias form: http://nipuni.deviantart.com/art/Curious-210621019?q=gallery%3Anipuni%2F29064982&qo=34

 

And another one for a better comparison of height: http://nipuni.deviantart.com/art/Curious-210621019?q=gallery%3Anipuni%2F29064982&qo=34

 

I wish i had pictures of Eve :/

 

That's it for today.

[ShroomOfDoom]

Day 35

 

Today we begun working on Arias personality and so far everything is going smoothly. I even got some emotional responses from Aria during our last session. She seems to be generally interested in what i have to say to her,whether it be during forcing or while narrating,i almost always have her attention. For me personally,it's rather difficult to concentrate on both Eve & Aria at the same time,giving them both as much attention as i can. I find myself directing my attention more often towards Aria then Eve,wich might become a problem.

 

I also can feel the effects of having two Tulpae now,as i'm more mentally exhausted than usual,wich either comes from Aria still being young and that my brain has to get used to a second Tulpa,or that i reached my limit with having two of them around. I guess only time will tell.

 

Anyway,so far everything is going smooth and i didn't encounter any problems regarding Aria so far and Eve has already accepted her,wich i think is a good thing. I allowed Aria to access my knowledge to learn more about the world etc. and hope that this will boost her sentience like it did for Eve.

 

That's it for today.