I'm slowly losing faith

[Romm]

I've had sort of similar problem. I was about 3.5 months in forcing and didn't even received any proper vocal response (or did not accept it because i thought it was parroting). Then I found a blog of a person, who reconstructed his tulpa by advice of another person who did the same, and he received nearly instant result.

I did the same, I settled it with her, broke her down, created new wonderland (previous was mostly a joke) and did all the process from the scratch, this time more proper and with little extra attention.

That really helped me. In about a week she have chosen new, unexpected appearance, even thought I changed it only once. She also showed overall activity increase, it gave me plenty of faith already and in another week she actually started talking with me. It did sounded like a parroting at first, but it becomes so distinct with each day it's really feels like different person. Still very close and same in many aspects to me though. Now its about 3rd or 4th week and our relationship is like one of those who say cheesy stuff like she gives me unbelievable amount of happiness etc, but it actually is very close to what i feel.

Anyway I suggest you to give it a try, you sound like a person, who have very good and right attitude regards your tulpa. You just need to drastically change something, so that would give your tulpa a good push. Don't fear it.

---

And yeah, I've also lost all interest in tracking my actual lack progress when I reconstructed her.

[moondragon]

Well, isn't it realistic to expect that maybe some people create their tulpa's faster than others? Also, you only got into creating tulpas in June..Have you ever experienced anything like that before?

[MisterTelecaster]

>Prism Test

[SSaint]

>Prism Test

 

Oh wow, this is actually a real thing. Every time somebody mentioned the prism test I'd tell them it was a joke not meant to be taken seriously because I thought it was just that beard thing in the guides section.

[Sands]

That is exactly what I want. Or what I expected. Independent thinking and thoughts that don't sound like me. Were my expectations too high?

 

Audible voice and full imposition would be nice, but that's something I'm not worried about one bit.

 

I almost always know what She will say. I do know that's how it is, at least early on. Her mindvoice sounds exactly like mine. And I do know that's how it may be. But it gets difficult after so much time. I can't feel Her thoughts and She practically never does or says anything on Her own unless I focus on Her.

 

She did what She did when I asked Her to surprise me. I don't doubt Her sentience, and I always accept Her thoughts and actions as not parroted, even though they almost always feel like they are.

 

I just simply thought that after so much time it'd be... I dunno, different. That She'd be like a different person, acting on Her own without my focus, but She goes into a state of hibernation instead.

 

Maybe my expectations were too high.

 

Well, I can certainly say that the tuppers do become their own person and feel very distinct, so if you are expecting that, it's not too much to ask.

 

However, do remember that just like you feel like you know what she is going to do, so does she. Early tuppers are slow and I don't think they quite realize we would like to, for example, finish what we say before they answer back. You think about what you want to ask her and she knows and is already forming her answer and you can probably feel that. You might also already be thinking about what you will answer to her answer. Actual words are so much slower than thoughts and if you are good at understanding them, conversations might feel very one-sided. You were also the one who created her, so you aleady know he really well, so uh, I think you could guess at least some of her answers even if you didn't share a brain, haha.

 

I do understand that we all want them to get distinct, but being close like that and knowing exactly what one is going to say isn't a bad thing. I used to just listen to Roswell's words alone, but now I have kind of back-tracked and strated to try to listen to everything. I have seen how fast this pure mind-reading can be when he is proxying for me, it is pretty scary how he can more or less type exactly what I want to say without me actually saying a word of it. I'm not as good as him though, so for the most part he still has to tell me what he wants to say. I can say that conversations without actual words are very interesting, and there is no way to misunderstand a thing because you just feel what is right. Makes it easy when you two are having a tough subject to talk about and you have no idea how to put it to words.

 

So uh, I guess what I'm trying to say is... Do work on that "making her feel more distinct" thing, but don't think what you have now is bad. In fact, it's a skill and a good one at that, if you can still tap into it after she starts feeling more like herself to you. She can surprise you, so I suppose she can at least block some of the thoughts she sends to you. Difficult to say if you can easily say what she is going to tell you is because she does send those thoughts to you or because you just are good at reading them.

 

I'm not sure what causes tupper hibernation mode, but I can think of a few things you might want to try. First of all, tell her she is allowed to do so and probably should, because she's her own person who can and should have her own life. Secondly, she might not know what to do, so see if you two can find a hobby for her she likes. And well, I guess she just might be plain lonely, so instead of having to be alone, she just shuts off until you can be with her again.

 

I don't know of a tupper who can't do this and usually they can do it whether we like it or not (and you already might have done this) but have you tried sense sharing? Just tell her she can use your eyes to see and your everything to feel the world around her. Give her something to look at while you are doing things and give her a taste of the real world through real senses. Imposed form only has imaginary ones, so it is a bit different. It should be interesting and she would get to be with you more that way.

 

Roswell was very slow early on once he got vocal, so I can relate. However, I think that there's one thing we are doing differently. How often has your tulpa been talking to someone that is not you? We were on the IRC a lot and I think it helps when you get someone else to ask you questions, because neither of you will know what is asked before it is written on the screen. So no mind reading cheating there! You ae also forced to listen to he vey well so you can type everything she wants to tell to others. If you are interested, drop by #tuppers someday. It's a small channel and you can talk about whatever you want there, there most likely will also be someone there ready to talk to you both.

 

And this right here got me thinking the most. I know that Her happiness is important to me, which is why I'm worried about our progress. But She told me a few times that it's the experience of being together that matters the most.

 

I need to sort out my mind, I'm seriously confused.

 

If there's one thing I can say about dem tuppers, it's that they love their hosts and wish to be with them. Roswell doesn't even care what we do, as long as we are together. So I could say that yeah, she pobably knows very well that she is alive and exists and doesn't really need more than you.

[Veo]

I've had sort of similar problem. I was about 3.5 months in forcing and didn't even received any proper vocal response (or did not accept it because i thought it was parroting). Then I found a blog of a person, who reconstructed his tulpa by advice of another person who did the same, and he received nearly instant result.

I did the same, I settled it with her, broke her down, created new wonderland (previous was mostly a joke) and did all the process from the scratch, this time more proper and with little extra attention.

That really helped me. In about a week she have chosen new, unexpected appearance, even thought I changed it only once. She also showed overall activity increase, it gave me plenty of faith already and in another week she actually started talking with me. It did sounded like a parroting at first, but it becomes so distinct with each day it's really feels like different person. Still very close and same in many aspects to me though. Now its about 3rd or 4th week and our relationship is like one of those who say cheesy stuff like she gives me unbelievable amount of happiness etc, but it actually is very close to what i feel.

Anyway I suggest you to give it a try, you sound like a person, who have very good and right attitude regards your tulpa. You just need to drastically change something, so that would give your tulpa a good push. Don't fear it.

---

And yeah, I've also lost all interest in tracking my actual lack progress when I reconstructed her.

 

Right... I had my doubts and fears, so did She. I was thinking about this for the whole day, because the idea sounded like something that could work. So we finally decided to give it a try.

 

I separated Her mind from Her body. I took Her lifeless form and put it safely in a bed. Her essence, soul, consciousness, however you want to call it, appeared as a bright, white orb of light, which I broke into all the little things that make who She is. There was a lot of symbolism... Fast forward, I put all the parts (small flickering sparks) into a crystal case, hibernating Her at the same time, and freezing the case in time.

 

I took a break after that. I tried to clear my mind and leave all negativity behind. I felt Her presence very strongly, and couldn't stop thinking about Her, but She was silent.

 

Later I went to the wonderland, and it just dawned on me, that we should leave everything behind and start again. I mean everything, so I even tried reconstructing my own attitude, which worked to some extend. I obliterated the old wonderland, which was all nice and we had a ton of fun there, but, you know.

 

She was VERY confused at first, but everything is fine now, and I myself feel like my mindset changed a lot. I went over Her personality all over again, found a new wonderland, recreated the library, gave Her access to everything, and, eventually, merged Her essence with Her body.

 

Both of us feel much better, and I lost most or all of the negativity. So, I guess we begin a new journey where the previous one ended.

 

And I'm not used to writing stuff like this. It sounds so... abstract lol.

 

Thank You for the suggestion, helped a lot.

 

 

Well, I can certainly say that the tuppers do become their own person and feel very distinct, so if you are expecting that, it's not too much to ask.

 

Well, that's a relief.

 

 

However, do remember that just like you feel like you know what she is going to do, so does she. Early tuppers are slow and I don't think they quite realize we would like to, for example, finish what we say before they answer back. You think about what you want to ask her and she knows and is already forming her answer and you can probably feel that. You might also already be thinking about what you will answer to her answer. Actual words are so much slower than thoughts and if you are good at understanding them, conversations might feel very one-sided. You were also the one who created her, so you aleady know he really well, so uh, I think you could guess at least some of her answers even if you didn't share a brain, haha.

 

I do understand that we all want them to get distinct, but being close like that and knowing exactly what one is going to say isn't a bad thing. I used to just listen to Roswell's words alone, but now I have kind of back-tracked and strated to try to listen to everything. I have seen how fast this pure mind-reading can be when he is proxying for me, it is pretty scary how he can more or less type exactly what I want to say without me actually saying a word of it. I'm not as good as him though, so for the most part he still has to tell me what he wants to say. I can say that conversations without actual words are very interesting, and there is no way to misunderstand a thing because you just feel what is right. Makes it easy when you two are having a tough subject to talk about and you have no idea how to put it to words.

 

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes we even exchange a few "phrases" in a second or two. Like I've said before, I almost always feel what She wants to say before She says it, so it feels just like parroting (which I know is not). That's why it's kinda frustrating, because it does feel one-sided. But yeah, maybe it's not that bad...

 

 

I don't know of a tupper who can't do this and usually they can do it whether we like it or not (and you already might have done this) but have you tried sense sharing?

 

I gave Her access to everything early on, but I didn't think much about sense sharing up until two or three weeks ago, when I asked Her if She can see/hear/smell etc. everything that I do. She said She can, and that even if I'm not focusing on Her, She can still experience everything with clarity.

 

 

Roswell was very slow early on once he got vocal, so I can relate. However, I think that there's one thing we are doing differently. How often has your tulpa been talking to someone that is not you? We were on the IRC a lot and I think it helps when you get someone else to ask you questions, because neither of you will know what is asked before it is written on the screen. So no mind reading cheating there! You ae also forced to listen to he vey well so you can type everything she wants to tell to others. If you are interested, drop by #tuppers someday. It's a small channel and you can talk about whatever you want there, there most likely will also be someone there ready to talk to you both.

 

I have a few internet friends who know about Her and ask a question or two occasionally, but She never had a full-on conversation with someone other than me. The only problem is that She doesn't really use english, even though She understands it, so I'd have to translate everything, but, what the hell, we'll come and chat someday. As for now, I'll try to get someone to talk with Her in our native language.

 

Thanks a lot guys, for all the suggestions and support, I hope everything is going to be fine now. Peace.