imahaxor

Just Another Pony

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Dec 26-31

 

Not much for progress in the past couple of days, or maybe I just haven't realized any changes yet? I've started to get some slight hallucinations, mostly just a white mass in my peripheral vision. It could be her, or it could just be me seeing what I want to believe. Which, I'm pretty sure is the goal anyways. Not much on the way of auditory hallucinations, but her mindvoice has finally stopped deviating. I really want her to get to a point where she can write in this progress report.. We could proxy, but I still have trouble sorting my thoughts from hers. So I'll wait until I'm 100% confident that we are both independent with our thoughts.

 

I asked her if she wanted to write here and she replied with: "I wouldn't mind, it would be cool I guess."


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Jan 1-4

 

So, not much to report I'm afraid. So I'll just fill this post in with a little adventure. Honestly, I think we should do more of these because the wonderland must be pretty boring for her when I'm not around. She says she doesn't mind, but she also says that isn't an excuse for me to start slacking.

 

Without further adieu, story time!

 

So we were sitting in our wonderland home, when Noel suggested we go on an adventure. I'm always hesitant to go on crazy ridiculous adventures in the wonderland, (I feel that It could easily break the realism/physics I try to maintain for more stable forcing.) but I was in the mood for some fun. We suited up in what I would call old-school RPG armor, and embarked on an epic quest to do... something. We left our home at night and traveled down some trails, eventually finding a tunnel system dug in a hill. It was dark, so I forced a lantern as we prepared to enter. It then occurred to me that I didn't think to force any weapons. I forced myself a Master Sword (been playing LoZ recently) and gave Noel a sword which she could wield in her mouth. She apparently didn't like the idea and basically said fuck it (probably not her exact words), and decided beating things with her fists hooves was a better alternative.

 

It was basically a giant slaughter fest. We traveled down the tunnels and basically beat down every zombie/skeleton/slime/giantmotherfuckingbat that was unfortunate enough to cross our path. It was awesome, and a good stress reliever. Nothings more satisfying than cleaving your adversaries in half with a big ass sword. The end.

 

[i think I was going to write something serious here to tie up post, but I was interrupted while typing it and have no idea what I was going to put here...]


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Jan 5-9

 

The first part of this post won't be directly related to Noel's progress, but I feel it's worth mentioning. Lately I've been getting back into lucid dreaming; the main reason being that I could force more effectively in a lucid state. My dream recall has been increasing, and this morning I was able to remember my entire dream from the night before. I'll give the condensed version.

 

Dream begins. I'm inside my English class at school. The classroom was packed and familiar faces were talking to each other. I looked out the window and it was dark, I guessed the time being early morning or late night. It was then my teacher pulled up a website on the projector, and to my surprise it was tulpa.info. Well, almost. The color and layout were wrong, and the header on the page read "Fede". Even so, I recognized it as tulpa.info. My teacher began to talk; I don't remember his words exactly, but I do remember him saying "Each of you will have a tulpa by the end of my class." He then began to draw diagrams on the board that I think were tulpa related, but I started to wake up so I didn't get to see them.

 

After I woke up I asked Noel why she never shows up in my dreams, and she replied with something along the lines of "I never thought to get involved." So anyways, if I can manage to force in my dreams this could be a huge breakthrough for us, and I could spend more time actively forcing.


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Jan 10-18

 

Woah, where did the time go? I usually make it a habit to update this log every 2-3 days, but this week has been pretty busy and I haven't spent much time on the computer. It has done wonders for my productivity though; well, at least for anything that doesn't involve the use of a computer.

 

Lately, I've been using this method to get started on pre-imposition. I would highly recommend it, not only because it's working for me but because it seems to be the only guide of its kind. It's hard for me to use the method for extended periods of time, especially when I'm outside of my home. It seems to be having some effect on me though, mostly small headaches and tiredness. Noel seems to enjoy it when I use this. method, and she's pumped that I'm working on imposition.


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Jan 19-23

 

Still working on the imposition method that I mentioned above. I decided to mostly use it around the house though, as it takes a lot of concentration to do during school.

 

Noel wanted to chat in the IRC the other day, and I think it's about time I let her. Up until now I was unsure if our thoughts were completely separate, but now I'm comfortable enough to let her try. I'll probably try to get on IRC this weekend.


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Jan 24-28

 

Okay, time to record some progress. This weekend was Noel's first time on IRC, she was really happy about it. It was a little strange proxying at first, she would always want me to correct something or I would accidentally get my thoughts and hers mixed up, but we eventually sorted things out. I also decided to try a bit of possession; for shits and giggles.

 

At first, I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there with my right palm laid out flat. I just told her to do her best and see if she could move my fingers and stuff. After a minute or two, my hand got kinda warm and tingly and my fingers started to curl. It wasn't a natural movement though, they moved in a jerky and jarring fashion. I'm still a bit skeptical though, as I am with a lot of things. Was that really her or was it me? But we'll continue working on it; once the actions are more forceful and deliberate I'll know for sure. She's still bummed a bit that I'm having lingering doubt, but I told her that wouldn't stop any progress. As long as I keep believing, we have nothing to fear.


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Jan 29-Feb 3

 

Let's see here... Still doing imposition, no results yet. I think I just need to keep step up my efforts a bit, I'm barely forcing an hour a day. I guess there's nothing wrong with that because I'm passive forcing most of the time anyway, but now I think I'm starting to use it as an excuse. So I need to start spending less time on the internet and more time forcing/getting motivated to do other things.

 

Oh, and I also promised Noel that she'd get the chance to write in here every now and then.

 

"Things are going good, but you really need to spend more time forcing. We also need to do more possession, because you always get to eat such tasty looking food and I never get any ;-;"


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Ah, maybe you should try "letting" her choose her own form if you ever waver on the pony idea?

 

(and I'm not saying this just because I'm one of those people that don't like pony mindfolk xD)


My lip hurts.

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Yeah, that was one thing that I decided early on. She has a human form that we use sometimes for possession, but mainly she stays a pony because I haven't finished that form yet. Or I can just let her do as she wants with it, IDK. It kinda blurs the line between me being lazy and letting her choose her form. I really should have made an update on this. XD EDIT: Update below.

 

Anyways, when/if I do lose interest in the fandom the form won't matter much to me, they're both freaking adorable. Well, that and the personality is the only thing that matters. You wouldn't abandon your best friend because of their looks would you?

 

Thanks for reading!

 


Feb 4-6

 

As I mentioned above, Noel and I have been working on possession, so I made her a human form. It's still in the works and is in a 2D anime style, but I'm sure she'll love it. She hasn't used it much outside of our possession sessions, but she's free to use it anytime as far as I'm concerned. I'm kinda conflicted when it comes to who should be in charge of finishing that form. I feel like just letting her do it would be wrong of me since I've been lazy lately, but then again I don't want to restrict her freedom. We haven't really had a good talk about this yet, I'm sure we'll sort it out later.

 

On another note, she's really interested in food. She's always wanting to eat what I eat, and then begs for me to cook for her in the wonderland. I think it's kinda cute, I get more responses from her when it comes to food than anything else. That would suck though, it would be like watching TV with a bunch of restaurant ads and having no food at your house. So cooking for her is the least I can do.


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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Feb 7-12

 

Alrighty, we've had some pretty good developments over the past couple of days. Firstly, Noel is a lot more expressive in her human form. Or at least when it comes to body language. Which would make sense because I'm used to human anatomy rather than that of pastel colored equines. She loves it and freely switches between the two, apparently she likes hands the most. I still haven't figured out if she'll keep the wings in that form, it's kinda hard to visualize them looking right. I'm sure I saw a thread about humanoids with wings, so I should probably check that out.


My Tulpa

And then it cuts to a scene where you're sitting in a padded cell.

 

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