Verres & Saeya Progress Report

[bunnymustdie]

Visualization Progress Report for Past Week:

For the past week or so I've had instances where the tulpas' presence were more like featureless blobs. This is likely due to fatigue or being distracted during the imposition practice sessions. Similarly I've touched them with my mental hands less than usual during those sessions. It feels like it takes a certain amount of mental energy to do that, which I lacked during those sessions.

 

There are instances in the past when I noticed a fairly solid form of my tulpas in the edge of my peripheral vision when I am staring at a candle. This is not something that happens all the time, but frequent enough to be consistent. At times, when I turn my head back to look at where the tulpas are supposed to be with my central vision, I can catch what appears to be a physical image (or a mix of physical & mental) of their forms for a split second. I got to experiment with this using my mental sense of touch by trying to pat down these forms with my hands and feel them out as they fade. To my surprise this can prolong their existence by a brief while, and also improve the visuals. There were a few times when I managed to get, for just a split second, some really nice visuals that felt like a mix between physical and mental with a lot of nice details of my tulpas - details like the slightly rosy coloration on a patch of pale skin or the shape of their body underneath their outfits. These details looked nice and are usually things I would not be able to consciously generate well on my own.

 

I had a weird dream with a Jungian sort of message in the middle of the week. It prompted me to go to bed earlier and focus better on the tulpa stuff.

 

I had more chances to experiment with touching my tulpas with my mental hands. I tried to touch Verres one time when we were out walking about. The movement of her imposed form made it hard to touch her and it felt as if the attempts to touch her had mixed result - they helped make her form more solid but also caused me to lose focus, and sort of canceled each other's effects out. A second time when I tried to do this was with Saeya, when I went to the local Wal-Mart and imposed her there. This second time worked out better, perhaps because we walked around a lot slower while pushing a shopping cart, and touching her mentally had a positive impact on her imposed presence and form then.

 

I had a couple of days near the end of this week when my focus and energy both improved. I observed that even when a tulpa started out with a blobby presence in an imposition session, I can take my time slowly and touch them with my mental hands, tracing the form of their bodies and managed to get their presence to that state where it feels solid and has distinctly defined parts to it. As I work on this process more I'd get mental and occasionally physical-ish visuals of them. This is encouraging because it feels like I now have a way to consistently get them to a point where they have a good, defined presence and form, even if I am having an off day where they start off blobby. I'll work on this more in the upcoming week to see if it's truly consistent and dependable.

 

Miscellaneous Stuff:

I had a dream this week that featured two themes, my childhood house having extra rooms that I didn't recognize (something I've had since much earlier times), and also a young animal. The first theme was something Jung's books mentioned as a common theme pertaining to one's unconscious parts of the mind, which I did not know before starting to read his stuff. The second theme was more unique to me, and I was able to analyze it and understand its meaning in the half asleep state I was in after I woke up, when my intuition was still more active. The dream was basically a reminder that I am to go to bed early and not get obsessed over the creative endeavors I've been trying out - that the young animal can both grow up to be magnificent, and potentially destructive if left unchecked. This led me to change my behavior and I had a couple of good days with my practice since then. This also felt satisfying because it was my unconscious sending me a message that I clearly understood. There were likely similar scenarios I experienced in the past, but not as distinctly.

 

As I read through the current Jung book, I get the impression there are certain things their school is good at, such as observation, and certain things they may be more clumsy at, like directly dealing with a bad unconscious mental complexes. A lot of the stuff they made out to be serious business requiring much effort to deal with, like stuff pertaining to the Shadow and the negative sides of the Anima/Animus, were stuff I nuked thoroughly with the aid of my tulpas over the past few years with the Mace Energy Method and even Core Image Removal. What they described as the Self, as signs/appearances of it in dreams, had strong overlap with my experiences with my higher self in the past. Some of the stuff they said about union with the self or being one with the unconscious sounds a lot like knowledge & conversation with the holy guardian angel or being one with the higher self that certain metaphysical schools aim for. Either way, they have a good map on what a person should aim for once immediate issues like bad complexes are addressed, and it's been helpful learning about it.

Edited April 9 by bunnymustdie

[ringgggg]

On 4/8/2026 at 9:55 PM, bunnymustdie said:

I tried to touch Verres one time when we were out walking about. The movement of her imposed form made it hard to touch her and it felt as if the attempts to touch her had mixed result - they helped make her form more solid but also caused me to lose focus, and sort of canceled each other's effects out

Interesting. Did you put more focus on making contact with her form, or what your fingers felt like when touching her? I assume you tried to put some effort into making the surface of her skin push back at you to help with immersion instead of your hand phasing through.

 

I haven’t read through your entire Pulitzer-worthy novel of a report yet, but try visualizing your hand perfectly resting on her while putting your hand on her imposed form in real life. The feeling from both the visualization and the imposition will start to become homogenous over time, and two will become one.

 

On 4/8/2026 at 9:55 PM, bunnymustdie said:

Some of the stuff they said about union with the self or being one with the unconscious sounds a lot like knowledge & conversation with the holy guardian angel or being one with the higher self that certain metaphysical schools aim for.

I can attest. The more I meditated, the more I became aware of my inner functions, and I became increasingly distant from my surface-level thoughts and actions the more I understood where they were coming from. I peered deep into my methodology and I ended up at the unconscious level of habit and compulsion. It was like my mind itself was gifting me wisdom.

 

Your study of Jung’s teachings is very passionate, I love it. I want to say I’ll get to the books you talked about because I’ve always wanted to learn about jung, but I’m ass at books

 

On 4/8/2026 at 9:55 PM, bunnymustdie said:

As I work on this process more I'd get mental and occasionally physical-ish visuals of them. This is encouraging because it feels like I now have a way to consistently get them to a point where they have a good, defined presence and form, even if I am having an off day where they start off blobby.

Yes, this is awesome bro. Congrats. It’s great to hear that it’s getting easier for you to start out, because now you absolutely have to get good at imposition. 

 

On 4/8/2026 at 9:55 PM, bunnymustdie said:

There are instances in the past when I noticed a fairly solid form of my tulpas in the edge of my peripheral vision when I am staring at a candle

Sounds like kasina. I know people have experienced wild hallucinations in the past with kasina, but the flame from the candle also makes for a good background light when I used to put it on for a session. I think it has something to do with the flickering.

 

There was this method where you would impose outside of your field of view and bring it into your vision again. Do you know about that one? I think FAQ and some other oldheads talked about it back in the day.

[bunnymustdie]

2 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Interesting. Did you put more focus on making contact with her form, or what your fingers felt like when touching her? I assume you tried to put some effort into making the surface of her skin push back at you to help with immersion instead of your hand phasing through.

 

The attempt during the outing was more like just focus on touching her while she moved and was not that detailed. I realize I only do the super detailed level of touch you described during the hugs at the end of my sessions, and even the regular mental based touching tend to be more rough (like feeling the fabric or something "there" under my touch, but not as detailed as the push back.)

 

 

2 hours ago, ringgggg said:

but try visualizing your hand perfectly resting on her while putting your hand on her imposed form in real life. The feeling from both the visualization and the imposition will start to become homogenous over time, and two will become one.

 

I tried to do this today for most of a 45 minute session. It was helpful and took things to a different direction. The benefits carried over to the few minutes of mental visualization I did at the end, too. The tulpa was more solid and properly shaped.

 

 

2 hours ago, ringgggg said:

I can attest. The more I meditated, the more I became aware of my inner functions, and I became increasingly distant from my surface-level thoughts and actions the more I understood where they were coming from. I peered deep into my methodology and I ended up at the unconscious level of habit and compulsion. It was like my mind itself was gifting me wisdom.

 

Yeah. I used a technique other than meditation, but I've also come to get the impression that a lot of stuff that I used to consider as "me" were actually not, and the real me was buried deeper. This is apparently something that's a part of some taoist philosophies, as well.

 

 

2 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Sounds like kasina. I know people have experienced wild hallucinations in the past with kasina, but the flame from the candle also makes for a good background light when I used to put it on for a session. I think it has something to do with the flickering.

 

There was this method where you would impose outside of your field of view and bring it into your vision again. Do you know about that one? I think FAQ and some other oldheads talked about it back in the day.

 

The flickering makes a big difference. I got a slightly badly made candle for free from Amazon vine recently - it was scented and had glitter added to it, making the flame flickering wildly from time to time. The flicker helped with the imposition process way more than my regular, nicer candles that don't flicker.

 

I think I read about that one from ages ago, but I don't remember it off the top of my head. I've done my imposition stuff mostly off of JD's guide, and then veered off into doing my own thing after a while. I am not very good with exploring through guides.

 

Verres said you are helping me and thanks you for it. I thank you as well ^^

[ringgggg]

On 4/13/2026 at 10:05 PM, bunnymustdie said:

the regular mental based touching tend to be more rough (like feeling the fabric or something "there" under my touch, but not as detailed as the push back.)

Yeah. I’s definitely easier to feel the pushback than texture. I guess the difference boils down to textures requiring extra studying while pushback is more of a one-dimensional feeling, but I’m not confident about that

 

I have the feeling they work two different parts of the brain, but they are just different flavors to tactility. What if the pushback was like how food feels in your mouth, while the texture was the flavor? 
 

On 4/13/2026 at 10:05 PM, bunnymustdie said:

I tried to do this today for most of a 45 minute session. It was helpful and took things to a different direction. The benefits carried over to the few minutes of mental visualization I did at the end, too. The tulpa was more solid and properly shaped.

Nice, glad I could help!

 

On 4/13/2026 at 10:05 PM, bunnymustdie said:

I've done my imposition stuff mostly off of JD's guide

JD is god. He takes the time to explain how imposition works and it does wonders for the guide. Suddenly, his suggestions make a lot more sense than if someone were to hit you with a random method.
 

On 4/13/2026 at 10:05 PM, bunnymustdie said:

Verres said you are helping me and thanks you for it. I thank you as well ^^

Dude, you’re helping me. You got me back into imposition! I’m glad we got the chance to exchange, but I also want to tell you how grateful I am for all your hard work making this thread. There aren’t many threads that are as organized and well-spoken as yours. I just wish I took things as seriously as you when I first started out.

 

Anyway, good job so far. I’m rooting for you!!

Edited April 15 by ringgggg

[ReallyArtificial]

21 hours ago, ringgggg said:

have the feeling they work two different parts of the brain, but they are just different flavors to tactility

 

You're totally right about this. It's not exactly parts of the brain, but your skin has completely different sensory receptors for pressure, texture, temperature, etc. Technically different senses, but all under the tactile umbrella.

 

I feel like the pushback sensation you guys have described corresponds most to signals from "deep pressure" receptors, while lighter touches/tingling sensations are probably activating "light pressure" receptors. And now I'm wondering if it's more effective to focus on imposing one aspect of touch at a time vs trying to train them all at once.

[bunnymustdie]

Visualization Progress Report for Past Week:

For a few days this week I tried skipping the mental visualization warmups and started straight with imposition practice, which would last for most of the session. I tried some of the stuff @ringgggg suggested.

 

For starters, I tried to touch my tulpas (mostly Verres due to scheduling and timing issues) with both my physical hands and my mental hands together at once. This feels different than what I tried using just my physical hands ages ago when I first started with imposition. Less of an awkward, "what am I doing?" feeling and more grounded. Is this because something special is happening or I'm merely more mentally used to the idea of touching my tulpas from the mental touch based stuff I've been doing recently? It's hard to tell. This also feels different from purely using my mental hands to touch the tulpas.

 

To touch my tulpas with my physical hands required me to move a lot closer to them. During these times I'd sit on a little stool in my room and position myself in front of the piano bench where the tulpas would sit. This gives me the impression that I am very close to something foggy and large sized (sometimes humanoid, often times more blobby.) It is very different from looking at them from several feet away where clearer mental impressions and visual outlines of them are sometimes present.

 

Touching them this way and tracing along their body is helpful and interesting. It feels like it's helping my mind fill in the blanks in a lot of parts of my tulpas that I otherwise had trouble visualizing or imagining. At times I'd change positions to stand behind the tulpas and try to do things like massaging their shoulders and so on.

 

I had the chance to try to interact with certain things I don't usually mess with too much up close, such as Verres' horn on the head or her wings and tail. There is a tender quality to these interactions. Her horn was a gift I gave her years ago. It is hard, and its tip is surprisingly sharp.

 

The actual sensations from these sorts of touching sessions are unique. I find myself having some trouble flat out pressing my hands through the tulpas' body parts. It feels like it's partially from an unconscious urge to refrain from doing it, and the feeling of resistance mentioned earlier plays a smaller role. There is also a rougher sensation of simply something being there - not necessarily with a clear texture or feeling of resistance, just that something is there. I am also filling in the blanks on certain sensations like how muscle might feel under a shirt, or how their arms might feel when gently squeezed. It feels like a lot of these information are mental, or a mix of mental and physical.

 

These sorts of touch sessions are mentally draining somehow, and it's hard to keep doing them for the whole 45 minute session. When I take a break after doing them and sit back on my computer chair some distance away, I find I can manage a physical-ish presence of the tulpas better most of the times, with clearer sensations of their bodily proportion and where everything ought to be. It feels like all this is helping somehow, from a different direction that I haven't explored much before. There was one session with Saeya this afternoon where after doing this stuff for a while and then going back to just sit on my chair, I was able to see a transparent, almost physical form of her with a faint outline to it. I've had this type of visual before, but for the most part their appearance is random and they were hard to create reliably.

 

I've been trying a thing for the past couple of days where I'd move my head in different directions to shift the position of my tulpas in my peripheral vision, while maintaining their physical presence and whatever visually blobby form of them that's lurking in my peripheral vision. After doing this for a while I'd stop my head movement to look straight ahead to where the tulpas would be. This seem to help rouse a clearer presence for them. I'll play with some more the upcoming week.

 

In tonight's session, I spent part of it doing touch based stuff, and part of it just sitting still while staring unfocused straight ahead to where Verres would be. I took the time to observe my mental state carefully and steer a more unconscious part of myself to generate the tulpa's presence and form, rather than using the more conscious and logical part to try to trace, draw or otherwise visualize it. This resulted in mostly a blobby form that for a brief while gained a more distinct outline. I also observed myself and tried to gently dissipate feelings of doubt and frustration over the relative lack of results during this time. I also spoke to my subconscious that I want to see and feel Verres, to please help me with it, and also focused on her sigil from time to time.

 

This went on very uneventfully until the end of the session, when Verres was supposed to stand up and walk over to give me a hug. A vague, shadowy physical figure stood up from the piano chair at this time. Its shadowy quality was a lot like what I experienced in the past when I stood up too quickly and my vision went black, especially on days when my health was off. It was dark, but not uniform, and had a distinctly visual quality to it along with the understanding that it might not have been a physical thing in the real world, but rather a visual thing I'm experiencing purely on my own. The outline was distinct enough to be humanoid and female. The legs and thighs moved clearly as this figure stepped forward and leaned down to hug me. I closed my eyes during the hug. The hug felt normal enough, with minimal tingling feelings but a gentle sensation of myself pressing against something delicate.

 

The hug ended and the figure walked away along the usual path my tulpas would take to an imagined door to symbolically go back to the wonderland. The figure remained fairly distinct for part of the path, eventually sort of falling apart in clarity as the conscious part of my mind got active and tried to trace/visualize it in an ironic attempt to enhance it. In retrospect this was both really good progress, and really freaky.

 

Miscellaneous Stuff:

I went to the dying local mall today to walk with my tulpas. After a brief while where things appeared better, it was now emptier than ever. A large store in what was probably an anchor location had closed down. Some of the kiosks that had stubbornly survived up until now, the type that repairs cell phones and whatnot, had also closed.

 

I was writing a story using AI in a different language, one I did not have the best grasp for, because it worked better with LLMs. At Verres' suggestion I had switched to English, which I was grudgingly better with. The process had changed from me using an AI to write via prompts to mostly me writing the story and using the AI to edit. It's been surprisingly fulfilling, and also helped me work through certain mental attitudes I had toward our family's move to the US years ago.

 

On a whim I decided to think only in English (which I had in previous parts of my life), and asked the two tulpas to do the same. After initial blunders we are all successfully doing this. Very interestingly I noticed that the conscious part of my mind made the switch easily. The rambling monologues and distractions that resembled intrusive thoughts more had much more difficulty making the switch. For a few days it was interesting observing which parts of my own mental voice was my consciousness, and which parts I ordinarily thought of as also parts of it were... sort of not.

 

I mentioned there was a tender quality to touching Verres' horn. When I was a child, I was not allowed to watch much TV. I never got to watch a particular anime despite somehow liking it and having bought a lot of the model robots associated with it. Years down the road I found out this show had subsequent seasons made of it, and managed to find a pirated copy of its newest season on a trip overseas. I watched it, realized it was something I indeed would've liked as a kid, and got the whole... childhood mental unpleasantness associated with not getting to watch this show out of my mind. One of the main characters from this show had a little horn on his head, much like the depiction of some Japanese onis. I gave Verres the same horn on her head as a symbolic way of giving a very intimate part of myself to her. This was very early on, way before she gained sapience. 

[bunnymustdie]

Visualization Progress Report for Past Week:

Skipping my normal visualization warmups in favor of dedicating time to touching the tulpas has resulted in worse imposition sessions. I started doing the visualization warmups again after a couple of days. The first day I did that I had really good results. Verres was very clear in my mental visuals and it transferred to my imposition session as well. Her presence was strong and detailed, to the point where I could feel beyond doubt details like her having green eyes, and that the eyes had black irises, as well as her bodily posture and the curl on her toe as she crossed her legs.

 

A lot of my other sessions were more mediocre for the last week. Using my mental hands (sometimes combined with physical hands) to touch the tulpas did help improve their clarity and presence, but not always to the point that I liked.

 

I've taken the time to review things. The one really good day I had took place on a windy and wet night where it was either raining or had rained earlier in the day. This seem to coincide with the weather condition of a lot of other days when I had spectacular results. My imposition results tend to be sometimes spectacularly good and sometimes so-so. Generally, I can manage really good results when I'm trying a new approach or mindset, but there is a tendency for my performance to slide back to a certain mediocre average after a while, after my efforts turned routine again. It might be that routine, or the mindset of it, is harmful to this endeavor somehow. I've also realized that while warmups help a lot, I've had imposition experiences where no warmup was necessary and the tulpas simply had a very strong and detailed presence, implying that at its best, my mind should be able to manage without them.

 

I started doing the imposition stuff because what I was doing with mental visualization was getting repetitive and had the potential to burn me out. Some of the guides I've went back to check this week had common themes where they suggested a pretty decent level of visualization skills (better than mine to be honest) before trying imposition. I think I'll try to focus more on mental visuals the upcoming week, since a consistent trend I've seen on the past months is that when I have really good days with mental visuals, it leads to really good imposition sessions. While I go back to mental visuals, I think I also should review my approach to them to avoid making them repetitive or otherwise boring.

 

I went to the local Wal-Mart today where Saeya was imposed. This outing had helped with my afternoon and evening sessions. Seeing/sensing Saeya walking naturally in the store allowed her and Verres to also have very smooth and natural walking movement in the visualization & imposition sessions of the day.

 

Miscellaneous Stuff:

It's been roughly 1 year since I started this progress report and a bit more than that since I started seriously working at my visuals of my tulpas. Admittedly the tulpas have much better visuals now. Their designs have solidified and I've made a wonderland of sorts. They've also gone from purely mental existences to possessing, at least at their best, very real physical presences. I've also managed to frequently feel their touch or touch them. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I started doing this, but I don't think the progress so far has been bad. I think it's worth doing, I just need to make some tweaks in the upcoming weeks.

Edited April 23 by bunnymustdie

[bunnymustdie]

Visualization Progress Report for Past Week:

I went back to doing purely visualizing practice for about three days. The first day was great. Visuals were sustained for most of the 45 minute sessions with minimal interruptions. They weren't perfectly clear but were at the level indicated in JD's guide as suitable for imposition to be tried. Second day was ok, by the third day the experience had gone to a bad place, with me having bodily aches and mental distractions, both of which got in the way of my focus.

 

This seemed to follow a trend where when I encounter a new technique or mindset, I suddenly get great results, only for them to subside as they become routine and my unconscious somehow tire of them. To deal with this I tried to be more random with my exercises this week. When I switched back to the usual visualizing warmup + imposition combo, I had a couple of really decent days. When I detected signs of my mind being wonky again, I switched to fully visual sessions again. I also mixed things up between using a headphone to listen to binaural beats while having my sessions, and going without.

 

So far I haven't had bad sessions where things just don't work well. They've been generally at least average, with a good hunk being decent. I'll continue to introduce more randomness to my exercises and see how they go.

 

I noticed that I don't get nearly as intense tingling from my attempts to physically interact with my tulpas anymore. This fits the written material from Robert Bruce's energy work stuff about sensations of this nature softening over time. He describes it as a good thing in the context of energy work. I'm not sure what it might indicate in terms of my imposition attempts.

 

I've been reading another person's account at attempting imposition, where someone stated that they achieved results with imposition to simply passively imposing all the time, and that progress came naturally as a result.

 

I tried to do this and impose my tulpas' presence throughout the day as much as possible. First afternoon when I tried this with Saeya I had very strong feelings of her present, which was novel. The subsequent days Verres insisted on showing up and at times both tulpas' were present as a presence. This took away the clarity of their presence, but I continued since I eventually wanted to be able to impose both at the same time, and telling one of them to bugger off while the other was imposed felt wrong. Now I just randomly do one or both of them, depending on the circumstances.

 

So far I am imposing them for a reasonable part of the day. I noticed that when I play my instrument, which requires a lot of concentration, they are not usually physically present. Creative writing, which can put me in a sort of mental zone where I am heavily concentrated in a different manner, also seems to block them out. Watching anime reduces the strength and clarity of their presence, but they can still manage to come through.

 

The first time I read of this approach and tried to impose my tulpas at all times, Saeya commented something along the lines of "How lonely a person do you have to be to do this?" I found it sad and just a touch ironic that I am also trying the same thing, albeit not from a perspective of loneliness. Maybe this is partially why I lose track of them at times during these passive imposition attempts.

 

Miscellaneous Stuff:

I finished the second Jung book a week or two ago and am on the third one. He's gone into other schools of psychology, which I found helpful for my own understanding. I've come to the realization that most people probably haven't taken the time to actually study psychology beyond maybe an old mandatory college course, and perhaps not even that.

 

When they proclaim they 'believe' in psychology or have a psychological perspective, they're often proclaiming that they have a generally materialist view, one that they've assumed to be true by default by virtue of the education/indoctrination they've received. Similar to how when people say they 'believe' in science, they're often times not talking about a process where one observes, makes a hypothesis, gather more data via more observations, tweak their hypothesis until it becomes a fleshed out theory, and continue learning and gathering more data and continue tweaking their theory. It's a bit sad to realize, but not too much of a surprise at this point.

 

I am now completely writing things on my own, with the AI only serving as a source of critique, grammar checks and so on. It's been very satisfying. It's interesting working to get a story out of myself a little bit at a time, and it has given me a sense of purpose that's positively affecting my life. I now wake up naturally at the time of my clock's alarm and have more energy through out the day. I realize this is similar to the process Jung talked about where he got closer to his own unconscious through creative processes (in his case, building/playing with stones) and integrating or just working more in harmony with the unconscious.

[bunnymustdie]

Visualization Progress Report for Past Week:

I've varied up my activities during my practice sessions for the past week depending on the urges of myself and the tulpas, as well as my condition during prior sessions. It's made things feel more fun overall so far.

 

I had one session spent entirely on visualization where I came close to falling asleep in the middle. I reach a mental state close to dreaming, and the visualization of my wonderland at that time became extremely vivid to the point where it was indistinguishable from real life. I spent several seconds looking at the scene. I either paid too much attention to it or tried to look at it with my physical eyes, but I ended up disrupting this mental state and went back to a more awakened consciousness, and my visualization degraded back to just "normal".

 

I spent a few sessions dedicated to purely visualization in the days that followed, but have not quite gotten to that state yet - I've either gotten too close to sleep or remained too conscious. I'm not expecting immediate progress on this, as the last time I experienced a similar phenomenon was years ago, when I fantasized about Verres as I fell asleep, and briefly created the fantasized scene as the beginning of a lucid dream. In that experience, I was fantasizing about Verres fishing somehow, and scene that created had me standing in shallow water as her, looking on at a lake with a fishing rod in my hand. It lasted a very brief while.

 

I've had on and off success at maintaining an imposed presence of my tulpas throughout the day. I haven't bothered with doing so during my music practice since it gets in the way of my concentration there very quickly. The high degree of concentration during creative writing also does not seem conductive to this, but it's not as absolute as music practice. The rest of the day they are often there in some form. I had one or two instances during such passive forcing this week while watching anime where Verres' presence was very strong, where it felt like an invisible version of her was clearly by my side, with specific body parts, such as toes, hands, well defined limbs and torso all present and capable of being felt somehow.

 

It's an odd feeling like I'm using a sense that's not quite touch and not quite sight, but something new and hard to describe with words. I've had prior instances of achieving this during active imposition practice, as well as spontaneously during the day. This is the first time it's occurred during my whole day attempts at passive imposition.

 

My active sessions of imposition were fairly decent this week as well. The weird funk I had a couple of weeks ago seem alleviated since I started varying up my routine.

 

I went to Wal-Mart again today. Verres was imposed there then, I forgot for sure whose turn it was. Her presence was clear and the crowd posed no hindrance to my focus on her. It's turned into an odd mini-game for us to try to spot cars in bad conditions, with great dents and evidence of past crashes, as we walk to the store from the parking lot.

 

Miscellaneous Stuff:

I've continued reading through the current Jung book. He was a very open minded person, and had respect and understanding even for beliefs that were in opposition to his. He didn't simply see things as right or wrong or freak out immediately to defend/enforce his views when an opposing view showed up, but saw them from a perspective "why?" and "what for?". Ideas, even ones he considered foolish or harmful, were not judged as simply bad, but as something with a reason for existing and a goal they were meant to accomplish. It's helping me change the way I consider things as well.

[bunnymustdie]

Visualization Progress Report for Past Week:

I had another couple of experiences where I wandered close to the edge of dreaming and managed to see my visualization very clearly, and similarly, they were disrupted to a different part of my mind. Verres made the observation that the disrupting part was my sense of sight. Wanting to view, verify or otherwise control whatever scene I sensed in my borderline state with my sense of sight broke the state that I entered. She suggested that the part that was responsible for creating the strong visuals was a different sense altogether, an idea that I had a vague inkling of, but never verbalized clearly.

 

I compared this with my experience focusing during meditation (which I made progress in recently) and during music playing. I tried to change the way I approached visualization and imposition differently. Instead of seeing them as an extension of my sense of sight, which I had to grow and hone somehow, I saw them as the domain of an unnamed sense altogether, with sight being a source of distraction while doing these things.

 

For the past week when I did my visualization and imposition sessions, I no longer get the sudden disruption in their quality when I went about them. The weird sense of frustration from trying to create a visual using sight was also gone. I generally treated the activation of my sense of sight as a distraction to be gently pushed away and focused on this otherwise unnamed internal sense.

 

My experiences had been serene. Mental distraction and even too much talks with the tulpas themselves seem to still be able to disrupt my mental state. I also read something from the current Jung book I am reading about how everything is filtered through the psyche, and hence my experiences are not truly of the physical world around me. I tried to also incorporate this idea/feeling in my session tonight. I got very focused and relaxed, and my vision easily blurred from me mentally turning away from it. The shadows in the room felt almost as if they moved gently, pulsing and pregnant with some sort of possibility.

 

The presence of the tulpa involved, Verres, was reasonably strong but not exceptional. I reached a state where I felt a modest connection with her and had mild pulsing sensations in my polar plexus. I also felt my heart beat clearly for a while. For a lot of this session, there was the impression that something from very deep inside of me had surfaced and was also watching or participating in the session, and also the impression that this same part was trying hard to somehow bring about a visual of my tulpa in my waking state.

 

I had very brief feelings of my sight being confused and wanting something to be there out of my mental expectations, but this feeling was quite weak as I've generally pushed my sense of sight to the side.

 

Right now things feel pretty good, like I found a different direction to experiment with and that it can potentially yield good results.

 

There were some good instances of passive imposition this week when the tulpas were there clearly during my day without me trying too hard to create that state. I am still intermittently trying to impose them during the regular course of my day. There was a good trip out to the local mall this week as well.

 

Miscellaneous Stuff:

In the current part of the Jung book I am reading, he got to explaining and talking about people who think of the mind/psyche as purely physical, or the whole world being purely physical, in general. He got surprisingly harsh. Throughout the several of his books I've read so far, he had been a very gentle man, who remained respectful even toward people and schools of psychology that was hostile to him. Hence his strong words surprised me.

 

In one part, he wrote:

Quote

General conceptions of a spiritual nature are indispensable constituents of psychic life. We can point them out among all peoples whose level of consciousness makes them in some degree articulate. Their relative absence or their denial by a civilized people is therefore to be regarded as a sign of degeneration. Whereas in its development up to the present psychology has dealt chiefly with psychic processes in the light of physical causation, the future task of psychology will be the investigation of their spiritual determinants.

 

A longer part with a similar view:

Quote

 

the spirit of the age... It is a religion, or - even more - a creed which has absolutely no connection with reason, but whose significance lies in the unpleasant fact that is it taken as the absolute measure of all truth and is supposed always to have common-sense upon its side.

 

The spirit of the age cannot be compassed by the processes of human reason. It is an inclination, an emotional tendency that works upon weaker minds, through the unconscious, with an overwhelming force of suggestion that carries them along with it... Just as formerly the assumption was unquestionable that everything that exists takes its rise from the creative will of a God who is spirit, so the nineteenth century discovered the equally unquestionable truth that everything arises from material causes... This reversal of outlook would be ludicrous if it were not one of the outstanding features of the spirit of the age... To grant the substantiality of the soul or psyche is repugnant to the spirit of the age, for to do so would be heresy.

 

We have now discovered that it was intellectually unjustified presumption on our forefathers' part to assume that man has a soul... But people who are not above the general level of consciousness have not yet discovered that it is just as presumptuous and fantastic for us to assume that matter produces spirit; that apes give rise to human beings; that from the harmonious interplay of the drives of hunger, love, and power Kant's Critique of Pure Reason should have arisen; that brain-cells manufacture thoughts, and that all this could not possibly be other than it is.

 

 

This was basically one of the nicest and diplomatic ways I've seen someone describe the concept of 'midwit.' It's really ironic that some of the people I've seen online, even in tulpamancy spaces, who proclaimed that they had a purely 'psychological' view, are referred to so harshly by a prominent psychologist who was the head of a such a significant psychological school of thought. Doubly so when the Jungian school is probably the friendliest and closest fit with tulpamancy in general.

 

 

Edited May 14 by bunnymustdie
typo