Hannah's got five Tulpae, a progress report

[DashieFactory]

(( My progress from Day 1 to currently, which is 12 days, can be found here: http://www.dashiefactory.blogspot.com. I will summarize that here but for those who want to know what's up, I advise you read the blog first.))

 

Hello, I'm Dashie to those of you on the IRC, and my account just activated so I can finally make my own progress report! This isn't my first day forcing, I'm actually on Day 12 or so. I'm going to summarize what's happened so far below for those of you who wish to read that.

 

My tulpa's looks is based on Twilight Sparkle, I've been calling her Twi so that's kind of like a nickname I've given her. I've been personality forcing for the past 12 days.

 

I was about a week into form and personality forcing when I kind of suddenly thought of something. I have to take ADHD medicine every night, which is something I hate doing as I despise taking pills. I decided that I could use the Placebo Effect and kind of trick my mind a bit.

 

I closed my eyes and imagined (when I force or visualize it's ALWAYS first-person.) me holding my pill and Twilight in front of me. I stuck my hand inside Twi's chest and pulled out her soul which was white in the center which faded to a gradually darker and darker purple. I put it inside of the pill. I then took it and, while nothing amazing happened, I did feel a bit closer to her.

 

I have to go eat, so I'll continue this when I get back.

---

All right, continuing from where I left off.

 

In personality I had gotten done Happiness, Sadness, and Jealousy. I was working on Anger when I felt a pounding sensation on the front top left corner of my head. It didn't feel like any headache I'd ever had. I stopped forcing and simply allowed my mind to relax in the void. I was hesitant at first but I asked "Twi, was that you?" I'm not sure if this was parroting or not, but I could make out a faint, hushed "Yes.." I was so happy!

 

In the same forcing session (last night) I forced a cream couch and a red, cream and green stitched carpet (I wasn't going for these colors or designs when I forced them. I just had the outlines of a couch and carpet and the colors came naturally? Either way I didn't think much about it.) and Twi jumped up onto the couch and curled against the arm rest. Occasionally while I talked she would yawn or stretch, like she was uninterested or bored. However I do tend to ramble a lot and see where she would be coming from.

 

I don't know if that was puppeting or not but it felt alien and I have no reason to doubt my faithful little unicorn. I finished up anger and said if Twi wanted to change the void to anything that she could.

 

Let me explain. Instead of a Wonderland, I've decided to have a Void. The void can change into whatever I or Twi desire. I've been forcing up a few objects to make things comfier for her (and actually with an item or two it's easier for me to visualize) but nothing more than that. Also, Twi's personality seems laidback and lax, which I actually kind of like... I want to change the Void to something like the labs in Half-Life or Aperture Labs and see if her personality changes to something more focused and alert. I want to get the Seven Sins done emotion-wise before we try that, though.

 

I'll note one last final thing. Sometimes when I'm watching Pewdiepie or MLP I'll laugh but it'll feel alien, as if someone else had laughed. I also believe this is Twi communicating with me. (Today while watching the Bad Little Boy episode of Adventure Time where Marshall is faking his death and Fionna's crying about how he's messing with her heart I started crying but it wasn't me. I again believe this was Twi.

 

Also I'm going to write 'Narrate' on my hand to remind me throughout my school day that if I can I should narrate to her. (Got the idea off someone else's PR, can't remember who though.)

[DashieFactory]

Got Pride, Lust and Envy done last night. Greed and Wrath will come tonight and tomorrow I hope to wrap the Sins up with Sloth and Gluttony. I woke up at 4 and couldn't get back to sleep and tried to force but I guess my mind wandered a little too much and that didn't work.

 

Today during French I decided to go on a little adventure in the Void, and since a Portal 2 song was stuck in my head I changed the Void to Aperture Laboratories. The next thing I know we were falling. Twi had a Wheatley clip in her mane and I was wearing a white full-body suit with black stripes running down the neck and arms with 'Aperture Laboratories' and the symbol printed on my chest. I was looking around for the portal gun when I kind of found it too difficult to focus. It didn't help that my French teacher was talking and also that I couldn't close my eyes.

[DashieFactory]

I wasn't able to get any emotions done last night, but something awesome did happen.

 

I was on my way to school (listening to music) and Zombie by The Cranberries came on, I had been forcing with my eyes open and the Void switched to a Dark Carnival Left 4 Dead setting. I grabbed a katana and Twi switched into her Anthro form and grabbed a crowbar and put a shotgun on her back. We explored and killed some things, I saved her from a Smoker.

 

Then a Pewdiepie remix came on and the Void switched to an Amnesia setting, which freaked me out at first since I can't play the game myself, it scares me. I can really only watch others play. After a minute, though, it changed to a large, open field that was covered in snow. I knew it wasn't my doing, I was focusing on the music. It was snowing in the real world so I asked Twi if she had wanted to experience snow for herself and I felt this positive wave of emotion come over me.

 

I noticed she was cold so I forced her a hat, scarf and boots. The boots were black, I was wearing black boots at the time so I'm not sure if that's the color that was on my mind or if she chose it. The hat was knitted a cotton candy blue-pink alternation as was the scarf and I'm positive this was her choosing.

 

A Portal 2 remix came on while we were in the field. I saw Twi mouth 'turn around' and there were turrets everywhere. I was ready for a fight but I sensed a vibe from Twi that kind of said 'this is a safe place. i don't want to fight.' Or at least around the lines of she was happy and didn't want any fighting. I forced up a sled and tossed it to Twi to use as a shield. I knew it wouldn't last so I forced a Portal gun. I shot one on the ground below us and one on a tree further off into the distance and we jumped.

 

I looked at her for a minute. We needed to get rid of the turrets but I didn't want to resort to violence either. I asked her if she could use her magic to make them disappear, or if she didn't want to permanately kill them to just transport them somewhere else. After a moment of hesitation she nodded and jumped back through the Portal.

 

I lost focus then as a bunch of kids were getting off the school buses so I just visualized her walking besides me.

 

All in all, I had an amazing session.

[Sing]

I wasn't able to get any emotions done last night, but something awesome did happen.

 

I was on my way to school (listening to music) and Zombie by The Cranberries came on, I had been forcing with my eyes open and the Void switched to a Dark Carnival Left 4 Dead setting. I grabbed a katana and Twi switched into her Anthro form and grabbed a crowbar and put a shotgun on her back. We explored and killed some things, I saved her from a Smoker.

 

Then a Pewdiepie remix came on and the Void switched to an Amnesia setting, which freaked me out at first since I can't play the game myself, it scares me. I can really only watch others play. After a minute, though, it changed to a large, open field that was covered in snow. I knew it wasn't my doing, I was focusing on the music. It was snowing in the real world so I asked Twi if she had wanted to experience snow for herself and I felt this positive wave of emotion come over me.

 

I noticed she was cold so I forced her a hat, scarf and boots. The boots were black, I was wearing black boots at the time so I'm not sure if that's the color that was on my mind or if she chose it. The hat was knitted a cotton candy blue-pink alternation as was the scarf and I'm positive this was her choosing.

 

A Portal 2 remix came on while we were in the field. I saw Twi mouth 'turn around' and there were turrets everywhere. I was ready for a fight but I sensed a vibe from Twi that kind of said 'this is a safe place. i don't want to fight.' Or at least around the lines of she was happy and didn't want any fighting. I forced up a sled and tossed it to Twi to use as a shield. I knew it wouldn't last so I forced a Portal gun. I shot one on the ground below us and one on a tree further off into the distance and we jumped.

 

I looked at her for a minute. We needed to get rid of the turrets but I didn't want to resort to violence either. I asked her if she could use her magic to make them disappear, or if she didn't want to permanately kill them to just transport them somewhere else. After a moment of hesitation she nodded and jumped back through the Portal.

 

I lost focus then as a bunch of kids were getting off the school buses so I just visualized her walking besides me.

 

All in all, I had an amazing session.

 

Closed eye visualization, right?

 

I envy your visualization skills so much.

[DashieFactory]

 

Closed eye visualization, right?

 

I envy your visualization skills so much.

 

Actually, I was walking to school so this Void session was accomplished with my eyes open. I only lost focus a few times and was able to quickly get back into it. What I tried to do was keep my brain half- into the music and half- into the session. That may also explain why the void was so heavily affected by the songs that was playing.

 

Also, I'm going to be attempting Sleep Paralysis. Sleep paralysis is basically Lucid Dreaming. I'm tricking my brain into believing it's in a sleep-like state while still being awake. If this is successful, I should be able to only focus on my mind while being physically UNABLE to move my body. Hence, Sleep paralysis.

 

I'm not scared because of NesterBones' Tulpa.Info thread and he's dabbled with Sleep Paralysis. Besides, I've lucid dreamed before. However they were nightmares so it was a horrifying experience, but this is for Twi and I'm going to put my heart and soul into it. I'll report back later.

[DashieFactory]

All right, I've returned. I know sleep paralysis and tulpae are two different things but I'm going to share my experience with it anyways. I felt a numbness in my arms and hands, similar to what I've felt when doing pony hypnosis. My fingers twitched a few times. Also, there was a buzzing/humming sound in my ear that started almost instantly after I closed my eyes and stayed until I started moving my body again.

 

When I lifted my head up at the end of the session, I almost fell back down and it took me a moment to move my arms and legs normally, but I never really achieved the 'paralysis'. I'm going to be attempting this when I get home from school today and constantly narrate / visualize throughout the day.

[DashieFactory]

I think Twi helped me out with a test today! I don't know if it was just me remembering or her telling me but I'm pretty sure it was her. We were taking an Anne Frank test and I couldn't remember if Mr. Dussel was a doctor or a dentist. I closed my eyes and asked Twilight if Mr. Dussel was a dentist. No response. Asked if Mr. Dussel was a doctor. The back of my head throbbed a bit. I picked doctor and when I got home I looked it up and it turns out she was right! ^_^

[Icarus]

I daw'd over your profile pic. thats all really I wanted to say

How many days are you into forcing Twi? Oh, and your hypnosis is very interesting - I might try something similar sometime.

[DashieFactory]

I hit two weeks yesterday, so fifteen days currently. Actually, due to my ADHD I spend little time actually sitting down and forcing. I'm trying a bit like how NesterBones did- constantly narrating and visualizing and asking Twi questions to see if I'll get responses. and thank you, it's adorable right :3

[Z-Byte]

Ha! Your visualization methods remind me of the sorts of fantasy games that I played as a child. I still let myself fall into those little adventures every once in a while. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to see if I couldn't take my tulpas on one to help them into being.