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Fourfiction's failventure with his tulpa


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Guest applesauce99

Yeah?

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Guest applesauce99

okay.

Guest applesauce99

WOOHOO BIG UPDATE TIME

 

So, now...after a really deep forcing session...I don't know what the fuck to believe. Shit's all fucked up, deju vu all over again, and this is the first really deep session I've done since before Miku came around. Let me start from the beginning:

 

I go into wonderland and I hang out with Miku, but something doesn't feel right. I feel as if Miku is not 'all there', or like I'm parroting her every move. She seems fake. I go deeper and deeper into my relaxation during this semi-meditative sesh....and I find Claire lying on her bed in the back. Her human form is mostly-unchanged, and she pretty much looks dead. At this point I nearly lose my shit, wondering if Miku is even anything at this point - or just a massive subconsious parrot. Then I wonder if Miku is something, and this Claire is nothing. Maybe they're both something. I try to communicate with Claire but she doesn't move or respond. I try the IM chat window thing somone else did somewhere on the forums, but I got as far as:

 

"Hi"

"Hello"

"What do you want to talk about"

 

before my focus went apeshit and the IM went buggy as fuck. So I decided that maybe Miku was a fuckin parrot. Maybe since I didn't tulpaforce as deep as usual for a while I lost contact with Claire and my mind went rampant and made Miku. I honestly don't know what to believe at this point. Obviously, further forcing will yield some answers, but I'm fucking tired and its nearly 2 in the morning.

 

I decided that maybe if Claire has been here this whole time I should force some personality traits. I decided that I'll go along with my old plan of forcing traits until my tupper yells at me, and proceeded to run through all her traits I could remember. Before or after that, I apologized to Claire for abandoning her if I did.

 

My head hurts, shits all fucked up, and I need sleep. Will force more later.

Guest applesauce99

I thnk I'll just treat them both as tulpas. The thing is though, when I went into that deep relaxation, I felt a presence with Claire - but nothing around Miku.


Forgot to add, last night I also made the wonderland smaller. I made it just the master bedroom of the apartment. There's no outside world, although a window with sunlight shining through a tree is on the far wall, so there might be a tree and some land outside - but I want the wonderland as simple as possible.

 

Also, while I was destroying the rest of the wonderland I imagined how Claire would feel about all that and she suddenly screamed at me. Her form didn't move from it's position on the bed, which leads me to believe she doesn't inhabit it and is formless or something.

Guest applesauce99

well, I've been narrating to Miku like usual, but haven't gotten a chance to go deeper into my wonderland to see Claire. I'm fucking tired. Its 2AM. Goodnight, internet.

>like I'm parroting her every move

>wondering if Miku is even anything at this point - or just a massive subconsious parrot

>So I decided that maybe Miku was a fuckin parrot

 

Haha, dumbass? Why the d­ick would you be using my method when I mention parroting and puppeting as the main ways of establishing a long-term sentience? Did you even read my guide? Are you fucking blind?

Guest applesauce99

Dude, I'm not using your guide anymore obviously, so I'm trying not to parrot so much.

You were, though. Stop denying it.

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