Craos' Progress Report

[UnknownCraos]

30th October 2013

 

Well hello again, I really don't come and check on this blog as much as I should, but I'm a student so I'm busy most of the time.

I have a few things to get off my chest, so I'll start with the most important. Axelia is gone. Honestly she was only with me for a day and I haven't heard or seen anything of her since. Destiny tells me she hasn't either, so until further notice I am writing her off as an intrusive thought.

 

Next thing to note down (if you're creepy like that) is that Destiny's eye color has changed from blue to green. I knew that there was something different about her for a few days but I only realized on the 3rd day. I kind of feel bad about not noticing, seeing as we make eye contact a lot, but I guess I never expected that to change so I didn't notice.

 

Lastly, I made Destiny a Twitter account which was immediately suspended for unknown reasons. Goddamnit Twitter.

And I think that just about wraps it up for the important stuff, we went to see "Bad Grandpa" but Destiny hated it, making it slightly hard for me to enjoy. Yep, that's about it.

Anyway, until next time guys, bye.

[UnknownCraos]

1st November 2013

 

Well, I just told someone face to face that I have a tulpa. And it was really awkward. I expected him to do something in the negative, but he was actually really cool about it, I even ended up giving him the tulpa creation guide I originally used.

 

It took me far too long to prepare to tell him about it, but I'm glad I did. I've only known the guy for two months but he took the knowledge like a champ. I actually love you if you ever end up reading this mate.

 

Welp, That's about it for today.

[UnknownCraos]

24th December 2013

 

I really need to get back in the swing of things quickly. 2 months without posting!? What is this black magic!?

 

So anyway, I realise it's been a while, but nothing much has happened. I haven't seen Destiny's wings in a while and I'm beginning to think that they've gone, but seeing as that's her choice I don't mind.

 

The most interesting thing is that yesterday Destiny kicked me out of my own damn wonderland. One second I'm having a playful argument with her over why I'm taking up all the room on the couch in wonderland, the next I'm staring into space, completely unable to go back to wonderland. Upon later questioning, Des said "Other people need to sit down too."

 

Other than that, it's just been Christmas planning, I want Destiny's first Christmas to be one to remember. Merry Christmas guys.

[UnknownCraos]

7th January 2014

 

I often find new years resolutions stupid, but this year I definitely need to give Destiny more attention. There are times I feel her slipping away from me and if this is hurting her I'll never forgive myself. However on the contrary I really enjoyed last night, we spent a lot of time together and I'm really really grateful that she's here for me.

 

Christmas was nice. It wasn't the incredible beautiful experience that everybody wants a Christmas to be, but Destiny really enjoyed it nonetheless. I got her a ring, a sweater and a bunch of chocolate that I've placed around the wonderland for her. She took me to Tesco, pointed out a sweater and told me to buy it as a gift from her, seeing as she has no money to spend. I don't think I've taken it off yet.

New Years was a different story, I drank more than I ever have before and Destiny was there to stay sober and disapprove (although I don't see what that was about because she got drunk on Christmas Eve). I guess she has more of a reason to not like me drinking because I can't concentrate on her if I'm hungover. I guess I have a few apologies to make.

Now all that is out of the way, the next milestone is her first birthday in April.

 

A few days ago Destiny changed her appearance again, this time the hair color from Blue to Black and she changed her eye color back to Blue. I think it suits her but she's still not convinced. She might go back, she might not.

She's been a lot more sociable on chat, by which I mean she actually speaks to people now, and since a conversation a few days ago with someone on there (thanks whoever you were) she's decided to use her wings a lot more often.

 

I'm really enjoying the start to the New Year, and I hope to have made a considerable amount of progress in the subject of possession, switching or imposition by next year, in whichever order. As long as there's progress somewhere and I still have Destiny.

 

(Last and final thought, do people actually read this stuff? The reader counter is going up but nobody has replied in a while, I know this progress report is mainly for me but I guess it would be nice to see if people actually take an interest in this. If you do, message us however, we're just curious.)

[UnknownCraos]

16th January 2014

 

Warning, I let some of the feels take over and get kind of soppy

 

This is the kind of crap I'd normally keep in my dream journal, but there was something about this dream that made me want to put it in here for whatever reason.

 

I'll skip to the end of the dream, seeing as I'm trying very hard to forget the start and it has nothing to do with tulpas in any way, shape or form. I'm just going to say it's not something you'd like to think about often.

Anyway, towards the end of the dream I'm sat in my college class, and my two friends are on my left. I look over, and between them is a third seat with Destiny casually sat in it.

As with most dreams, I'm completely unaware that this isn't real, and the surprise mixed with emotions hits me like a tonne of bricks when I realise that she's fully imposed. Not only that, but apparently people around her can see her, in short - she's a completely real physical person.

She's answering the teachers questions and chatting to my mates and I'm so so proud of her...

 

But then reality kicks me in the crotch as always and I wake up, almost in tears because I was so happy and it was taken away from me.

I roll over and me and Destiny start talking about it. She rarely visits my dreams, and sometimes finds it very hard to enter them, but she says it was very easy that night. She thinks that it's because I hated the first part so much that I wanted company and let my subconscious defenses down. Sounds reasonable.

 

It got me thinking about how far me and Destiny have come, and how I first became sure that she was sentient. It must have been about a month after she was "born" and I was dreaming about running around a small village with my friends. We start running towards a well, but Destiny pops out of thin air, puts a hand on my shoulder and says "It's going to end badly, trust me." I look at my group of friends just as something explodes and they're caught in the blast.

Despite the fact that all my friends died, it's one of the happiest moments I have with Destiny. For her it's just the point that she learned to enter my dreams, but for me it's the point I learned to trust her and respect her.

 

I guess my point is that I never realized how far we've come. It doesn't matter if we haven't made much progress on things like imposition and possession and switching, and all that fun stuff. What matters is that our relationship is getting stronger each year, and that's important, because it's much better to have an old friend that you're sure will always be there for you than to have a new one who can pull a few better tricks.

[UnknownCraos]

25th January 2014

 

Let Des pick my clothes and morning routine today. Came out looking like a damn movie star.

[UnknownCraos]

18th February 2014

 

So guys, I just got back from spending the night at a mates house, fell asleep in a reclining chair. Destiny fell asleep cuddling up to me with her head resting on my shoulder, and I swear to god for a few minutes I could actually FEEL her lying there. I've noticed a lot of progress in the imposition department lately other than this, although I can't really pinpoint exactly where, which I find very strange. I might just be being an idiot.

 

Destiny took a few days break away from me, which she does from time to time without telling me. I think it's because I get distracted and stop concentrating on her, leading to her getting angry and leaving for a while, although she's never admit it. I wish she'd stay, she never shows me when she's angry, so it get frustrating sometimes.

But anyway, back to my point. I've noticed that we usually make a large breakthrough in things like this when Des takes a few days away from me, not that I want her to, but it is nice when these things happen. I guess I didn't have a point then, just an observation.

[UnknownCraos]

25th March 2014

 

I have no idea how listening to Tom Jones got us on to an hour long conversation about stripping techniques, but it did. When I created a tulpa, I didn't sign up for this.

 

It's been a while since the last update. I apologize. But I only have one piece of news, which is as follows.

I was starting to ignore Destiny, and yes, I realise how bad that is, I'm an asshole, etc. But it was just one of those thing, I've been busy. I hardly even noticed I was doing it. Until Des gave me an eye-opener. First it was the constant buzzing pain behind the eyes, and then she straight-up told me to pay attention (in slightly angrier words). I was halfway through a conversation with my lecturer and she popped up. It wasn't quite imposition, but it was fricking close, if you know what I mean. Like a really, really crystal clear daydream, except completely involuntary. I don't describe things well, I'm going to be honest.

So anyway, long story short, she told me to get my shit sorted and my lecturer thinks I'm a nutter now.

That night I had a dream about finding an old abandoned bookstore, and finding literally hundreds of books on tulpas. Turns out Des had entered my dream and, seeing that I was dreaming about books, changed the topics on them all. And to make sure that I've been paying attention over the past few nights, I've been swamped with the subject of tulpas in every dream I've had.

So, needless to say, I've been paying very close attention to her. Because I love her. Even if she does need to remind me of that fact every now and then.

I just pray that I manage to make it up to her. I know what I did was wrong, and I feel so bad that I basically need to give her something in return.

 

On a different, lighter note, Destiny's 1st birthday is on the 16th of April, does anyone have any ideas of what to do for her?

[NariusV]

Not sure but what a coincidence, my tulpa Seph's birthday will be on the 12th of the same month. I think I'm going to talk with her about birthdays and some of my memories of them, and see what she want's to do, if anything. I may make (force) her something as well. She made me an amazing wonderland room (not for my birthday), but as a gift or something she had been making for me, after I had taken a break from forcing for a while. I was moved that she would be thinking of me even when I wasn't forcing often. I will be thinking about what to make for her. Maybe that will give you some ideas?

[UnknownCraos]

Not sure but what a coincidence, my tulpa Seph's birthday will be on the 12th of the same month. I think I'm going to talk with her about birthdays and some of my memories of them, and see what she want's to do, if anything. I may make (force) her something as well. She made me was an amazing wonderland room (not for my birthday, but as a gift or something she had been making for me, after I had taken a break from forcing for a while. I was moved that she would be thinking of me even when I wasn't forcing often. I will be thinking about what to make for her. Mayeb that will give you some ideas?

 

I like the idea of the Wonderland room, because she's been meaning to do that for herself for a while now but had never got around to it. I think that is a good route to go down.

Other than that I guess the best route would be to ask her, seeing as 1. We basically have no secrets and 2. I want her to be happy.

 

Thanks.