Quadraginta

I used to wonder what tulpas could be......(Raid's progress report)

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It's acually been a week since we (I say we, not I) first began tulpaforcing. I don't remember most the details, though, so I can't spare them for you.

 

General information about Raid 'n stuff:

 

*Her full name is Radiating Innocence, a name I picked for her because I thought it would suit her innocent, cute personality, and the optimism she always has. I just call her Raid for short.

 

*She is happy, honest, optimistic, intelligent, has a vibrant, even contagious happiness which seems to radiate from her very being. She has an innocent demeanor, yet she is confident, and very creative, a writer, just like me, her ideas for storytelling ranging from light-hearted humour to dark and depressing sob stories. She is infinitely happy, infinitely radiant, and infinitely optimistic. One simply couldn't be in the same vicinity as her and not smile back at her. She also has an incredible hatred and disgust for sex and fornication, strong enough for her to moan in disgust at actual porn, but not so strong enough that she can't sit through a sex scene in a story, or not laugh at a perverted joke or comedically perverted situation.

 

*Our Wonderland is a drama-class styled acting stage. It floats in an endless void, and there is no visible audience stage to be seen. At the "top" of the Stage is a circle of light where I drop down and enter the Wonderland. It is lightly furnished, with a bed, a bookcase, a television, and a couch. There was a table, but I removed it. The floor is brick. There is a single door which leads to The Field. The door leading back into the Stage is literally a door standing outside, when opened, revealed a hole in the space where it was closed, which leads to the Stage. We will take adventures through our Wonderland once she is ready, when she no longer requires my puppeting.

 

*Raid's form is pretty much Fluttershy without a cutie mark. This is only her base form, however. If she decides to change her form in anyway she desires, I will allow it, be it a simple change such as the colour of her coat, or changing forms entirely, all of it will be allowed.

 

*Her coat is silky smooth, and so is her mane. Her eyes feel like ceramic dinnerplates, and her hooves feel like hard plastic. No, I don't know what an actual hoof feels like, but that doesn't matter to me. She has the same smell as an Apple-pumpkin scented candle, her smell being more concentrated in her mane and tail, and lightly scented throughout the rest of her coat. She has no vagina or anus, as I opted for completely blank space instead. I think this would fit her more appropriately, given her personality.

 

 

 

 

 

But generally: Day 1-7, We tulpaforced 6 days out of the 7 that we first started. Some days, we went on an adventure through our Wonderland, with me puppeting her all the time, of course. I taught her and talked to her about fruits, plants, life, and I opened up to her about my personal opinions and general life. Seems like a good start.

 

Today, Day 8, 9/23/2013, We took a more backseat approach to tulpaforcing. We mostly did passive forcing today, and we'll be saving active forcing for tomorrow night. I read a book to Raid today, The Kill Order, specifically. Progress seems to be accelerated beyond belief, as a couple days ago, during school, I felt a light pressure in my head, which I automatically assumed to be Raid. Probably wouldn't have assumed it to be her, if it wasn't for the fact that I normally never get head pressures or head aches. And I do mean never. Today, Raid seemed to be very active, giving me a more significant amount of head pressure, dizziness, and even nausea periodically throughout the day. I am 90% certain it was Raid. I am normally never dizzy or nauseous. And I do mean never. It's probably not a good idea to attribute every funny feeling I get to Raid, but it certainly won't hurt her development. Either way, I'm happy for Raid, and I will probably spend another half hour reading to her.

 

I talk to Raid quite often, giving her my opinions about on-the-spot situations, and talking to her, and I spend part of the time imposing her walking next to me from class to class, having her fly in the air when it gets crowded, and having her teleport back to the Stage whenever I need her to. I pay a lot of attention to her most of the day, but I can't focus on her 24/7. I do try to pay as much attention to her as possible, though.

 

WARNING: This PR does not get interesting or eventful until page 5 to 6. Just a heads up.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 9, 9/24/2013

 

First, we worked on her personality a little more, deviating slightly from her previous personality traits, but only slightly, and adding a bit more. She's daring and always ready to accept a challenge, because she feels that earning a reward through a challenge is much more satisfying, but she knows her limits. We then took an adventure through another part of the Wonderland, the Field as I like to call it, then we flew through the air and landed in the Forest. There, I fed her blueberries, star fruit, and cheese burgers, then I openly talked to her about a certain illegal plant that I've had an experience with and my opinion and views about it. Then we flew back to the Stage, and I spent only a fraction of time imposing her upon my senses, and visualizing her form, and then we ended the tulpaforcing session.

 

Yes, I do puppet Raid a lot for our adventures, but we worked on her personality as I puppeted her through the Wonderland. Eventually, she won't need me to puppet her anymore.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 10, 9/25/2013

 

I will pre-post this before we tulpaforce. We won't tulpaforce for very long today. I feel very distracted, more so than usual. We'll work on imposition for a bit, and visualization, and then I'll spend the rest of the time reading a story to her. That is all.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 11, 9/26/2013

 

Holy crap, do I feel sick. Ugh. I feel so, so sick. I know we won't be able to make much progress today. Ugh. I feel like I'm failing Raid. I guess I'll just read a story to her, or something, as I do not have the energy to do anything that involves more effort than that. I'm sorry, Raid. I'll find a way to this up to you.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 11, 9/26/2013

 

Holy crap, do I feel sick. Ugh. I feel so, so sick. I know we won't be able to make much progress today. Ugh. I feel like I'm failing Raid. I guess I'll just read a story to her, or something, as I do not have the energy to do anything that involves more effort than that. I'm sorry, Raid. I'll find a way to this up to you.

 

don't worry, This is normal. You're working parts of your brain you usually don't, and trying to make your brain do things its never done. I passive force almost constantly, and if I try to active force too much on top of that I feel very sick as well. I also get the feeling like I'm failing Alice once in a while, but once i talk to her I realize that as long as I'm trying my best, I can't truly fail her.

 

{The only way you can fail or disappoint a Tulpa like me is to not believe in us, and/or give up on us. Creation isn't easy! We're all learning and striving here (:}

 

Sometimes I have to take days off of forcing, just to let my mind {And My mind!} heal from the strain. just keep trying, don't get discouraged {And BELIEVE!! :D}


Intangible. Eternal. Without beginning nor end. The nameless, formless energy that permeates all living things.

 

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Day 13. Yesterday was Day 12, but it was Friday, and we don't force on Fridays. That's our day off from forcing.

 

Oh well. At least we have today.

 

9/28/2013

 

I will teach Raid about more things and we'll work on her personality as we go along with the teaching. Yes, I am still puppeting her through the wonderland. But, tulpaforcing is spending time with one's tulpa, so as long as I spend time with her, thing'll work out. So, in the end, this is still good for her. And me. That is all.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Good to hear things are going well! I've actually recently started my own progress report of my tulpa forming. I wanted to say that I enjoyed your style of writing. I'm not sure why, but reading this actually entertained and amused me. (and yes that was meant to be a compliment) Good luck and while you're at it, why not wish me luck? ;)

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Good to hear things are going well! I've actually recently started my own progress report of my tulpa forming. I wanted to say that I enjoyed your style of writing. I'm not sure why, but reading this actually entertained and amused me. (and yes that was meant to be a compliment) Good luck and while you're at it, why not wish me luck? ;)

 

*Giggles*

 

Thanks. I am a writer, so maybe my writing style shows itself even when I'm not writing stories? Who knows.

 

And good luck to you, too, my friend ;)


Day 14, 9/29/2013

 

I've decided to shift the schedule around a bit. I've decided to shorten our tulpaforcing sessions to five days a week, and instead of taking a break on Friday, we'll now take breaks on Saturdays and Sundays. Yeah, this is really lazy of me, but I'll admit, the feeling of not making progress is a bit infuriating. Did I also forget to mention that I have a really bad procrastination problem?

 

Well, then again, Raid does often give me slight head pressure and dizziness to get my attention, so I can't say we're not making ANY progress. Still, I procrastinate. But I digress.

 

I don't know if this is a sign of early sentience or whether I just get distracted or not, but I sometimes imagine Raid with Hydreigon wings, and not her normal pegasus wings. I don't want to completely say it's Raid's doing, but I don't want to brush it off as me puppeting her either. Either way, if she wants Hydreigon wings, I'll let her have them, but for now, I'll just try to keep focusing on her normal pegasus wings.

 

Also, Raid loves Starfruit. New personality trait.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 15, 9/30/13

 

Despite being supposed "Day 15," I've been slacking off from tulpaforcing a lot, and it feels like I've been spending a lot less time with Raid. Granted, I think about her a lot, and narrate quite a bit, but I always forget to impose her next to me while walking down the school halls, and a large portion of the time I forget to talk to her. Tonight, we'll work on visualization. For how long? However I damn well please. For her sake, though, I'll try to do it for longer. After that, I'll just crash. And by that, I mean go to bed.

 

Also, confession time. Raid is actually the second tulpa I've ever worked on. The first tulpa I had, I only worked on for about 45 minutes, then quit. Weeks later, while I was falling asleep, (this happened twice, by the way.) I thought I heard a voice in my head call my name. At the time, I was scared shitless, but I just shrugged it off. I usually never hear voices, so this was quite shocking to me. To this day, I wonder whether it was the dying sound of my 45 minute tulpa or not. I feel like I've failed 45 Minute (which is what I refer to her from now on) by quitting on her so long ago, which is why, no matter how lazy I get with my tulpaforcing sessions with Raid, skipping days and forcing for shorter and shorter sessions, I'll never outright give up on her, like I did with 45 Minute. I've heard the risks and dangers about 'tulpas in stasis,' and 'accidental tulpas,' and I am a bit fearful of how Raid would feel towards me if I gave up on her like I did with 45 Minute. Which is why I'm also fearful of the idea that once Raid finally comes to be, she might find the unfinished form of 45 Minute. Maybe I'm just being paranoid here, maybe 45 Minute never was, and I only imagined those voices, but I still have that paranoid feeling. If 45 Minute really is in there (my head) then Raid and I will work on her together, and she'll come to be, thus resulting in 2 tulpas. I just wonder if 45 Minute will hold a grudge against me for giving up on her. I still don't know whether I should be worrying or not.

 

For now, though, I'll focus on Raid and worry about 45 Minute later.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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Day 16, 10/1/2013

 

We will work more on form, and perhaps personality and then we'll head straight to bed. Nothing special. Sorry if we're beginning to bore you guys.


Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

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