the wind listens' progress log

[the wind listens]

It's kind of sad how much I've been procrastinating lately. I don't give my tulpae enough time, and almost no real forcing. Even so, I'm starting to learn a bit about their characters. It's interesting just feeling when one or the other becomes the most intense. I've watched a few movies with them and the older one seems to like action scenes quite a bit, while the younger one seems to be a bit more melancholic and prefers more sentimental parts. I don't really know them with any real depth yet, but they still surprise me sometimes even with the limited communication we have. I still haven't made almost any progress beyond the hand signals. I do know that either visualization or vocalization should be just around the corner, but I'm having great difficulty in giving the necessary effort. It's good that there are two of them, I think them keeping each other company is very good for them when I don't give them enough attention.

 

Maybe next week when I'll have more time suited to forcing on my hands.

[the wind listens]

So, I actually heard my younger tulpa's voice and had a short conversation in which she said about four or five sentences. Real ones. Only problem is I was asleep at the time. They both confirm it was real, though. All I remember of it is she had a nice and feminine voice like I hoped they would have.

 

Right about now is when I start having more good time to spend with them, so I hope we can get something out of all this.

[the wind listens]

I've been trying two different methods to get to vocalization. One is me listening for sounds from my tulpae, because when I concentrate and ask them to say something I can hear very faint gibberish they confirm is from them. I can hear it best in complete silence or with pure noise. I'm getting a bit better at it and can hear them more clearly, sometimes even with distractions, but it's going slow. The other method is trying the get my tulpae to puppet my inner voice like they do with my body. Seems like I have a better idea of when it's them and when it isn't because of my experience with letting them do hand signals. Both of these methods seem to have potential so I'm trying both off and on.

[the wind listens]

I've been procrastinating more and more an I think I'm slowly losing my touch with my tulpae. They certainly aren't happy about it. I've proposed we take a break and then I'm just going to stop talking to them for a while with hand signals to force myself into getting real visualization up. Even though it was pretty neat that I got possession down so fast, I think it really wasn't the best thing to get first. I'm sure pretty much anything else would have allowed a tulpa to communicate to me better. They seem to agree.

[the wind listens]

Well, I haven't been here in a while.

 

I'm still hanging out with my tulpae, in the same ways as described in this log, but I still haven't gotten any definite progress in. I just lost the will to force at some point. My tulpae are more or less fine with the state of things, though they do seem to want me to continue with the forcing, or at least try to catch my attention at times.

 

I have a feeling that they've been experimenting with changing my mood a few times during all this time. I'm pretty sure one of them was the source of a big burst of drive and energy I felt one day just after mentally whining about how lethargic I am during my morning shower. It was quite an experience. Another time, before that, they made me extremely distracted and unable to concentrate on anything. Probably because I was annoying them by ignoring them for a few days.

 

I'm definitely planning on starting up my forcing sessions again, just to establish easy communication between us. I don't think I'll ever really be doing imposition or even thorough visualization, at least not anytime soon. I never really wanted that, mostly I just got on the bandwagon with all the people doing it here because it was described in all the guides, but I've had enough time now to realize that all I want is accomplished by my tulpae having their personalities and ways to communicate to me.

 

Even the thing with giving me energy to do things is just a bonus as I see it.