I No Longer Walk Alone.

[Gryphon Flight]

May-3-2014

 

So, May 1st was the date that Shira turned 4 months. Not going to lie, we were to busy to have any mini celebration in the WL. We've been focused on other things.

 

Possession, we missed a say or two of practice, but Shira has recently lifted my finger without assistance. She managed to lift it very slowly and then dropped it quickly. She did the same thing once more before we called it a day, this exhausted her greatly. The movement was slow and slightly jerky. It took her at least a half hour to move my finger from the surface that it was lying on but she managed it in a faster time when she did the second attempt. I plan on working control with her soon, having her hold it for however many seconds and performing simple tasks like mouse clicking.

 

In the WL the other night, a strange voice pushed its way in to the conversation that Shira and I were having. It was a deep, yet youthful male voice that was too clear and sapient to be an intrusive thought. It didn't seem to come from any visible place or form, it was just a voice. It only responded without prompting and when I attempted to prompt it to speak further, it said nothing. I'm not sure what to think of this voice, I can't bring myself to fear it but I don't quite trust it yet either. I'll attempt to contact it today, and update the PR if necessary.

 

As for the decision of another tulpa, who knows. Perhaps this voice is an accidental tulpa, perhaps it is something else. Until I can figure it out, no new voices in my head.

[Gryphon Flight]

May-5-2014

 

No update on the voice.

 

Shira has changed her form, again, but less so this time. Previously being an anime styled creature which most resembled a fennec fox, she has simply deviated in to an actual fennec fox. It's a little bit weird to get used to, more so that her last form change, but we're working on it. It's extremely blurry right now though, I just can't seem to visualize her face right. Only one strange expression which, although hilarious, is oddly unmoving. We'll have to work on that, but I've always had a rough time trying to visualize things that are moving, yet I can see still things as clear as day.

 

Shira hasn't yet been able to move my hand again, struggling to muster the energy. School has made it more difficult to sit down for possession practice for any more than a half hour, so that's probably affecting our progress speed quite a bit. We've found Shira able to moderately soothe my extremely sore muscles lately, though I usually don't let her do so because I can see how tiring it is for her to keep up, as much as she tries to prove otherwise.

 

No further decision on a new tulpa, that's been put on hold until school's over. Too much going on in my life outside of my head to worry about that right now.

[Gryphon Flight]

May-19-2014

 

I am horrible at updating this thing.

 

Shira's got a more developed voice now, and it seems permanent. It sticks around now without my focusing on its unique pitch and she rarely uses my mindvoice nowadays. Through camping for four days, I had loads of time to force and its really made her more independent. We worked out some sentience issues, and she feels a lot more like an individual.

 

Another form change, but I think this one will be permanent with only smaller future changes. She's a bear. A Eurasian Brown Bear, actually. She's wanted a bear form for a while but I always felt like I was parroting when she asked so I cast it aside. Recently, she brought it up again, and made the switch on her own. I settled and we've liked the new form. It retains the blue eyes she's always had, and she pretty much looks like any old Eurasian bear you'd find on Google.

 

Possession sucks. No progress made to report. New tulpa decision will be made in the summer, when there's some time to force.

[Gryphon Flight]

June-08-2014

 

Remember how I said I was going to start updating this as often as possible? Yeah, no. Not much has happened anyways, but I still want to at least try to document my progress in hopes that this PR can be something for me to reflect on or even educational to other tulpamancers. Today's entry will just be a copypasta from Shira's blog because I've been struggling a bit lately with depression and anxiety and lack the motivation to write something up from my own perspective.

 

Alright, so, another new form because I’m an indecisive little shit. Sadly, I don’t quite have a picture of it yet to use as my avatar because Gryphon is too lazy to draw me and we’re still working out the kinks. I guess we’ll just have to verbally describe it, most of our readers are tulpamancers anyway, so you should be pretty good at that visualization shiz anyway.

 

Alright, a quick summary would be that I look like a sort of wingless dragon/mammal hybrid. I’m really furry, the fur is a raven black. It’s not excessively long, about as long as the fur you’d find on a samoyed/husky mix dog, except black. The texture of the fur is extremely soft, again, relatable to dog fur. My head is oddly shaped like a cross between a dragon and a dog, hard to explain. The snout is pretty long, about as long as a poodle’s. My head shape is more draconic than mammal-like, however. I have a top and bottom set of long teeth, the canines are exceptionally long. My nose is also dragon-like.

 

My eyes closely resemble those of your average fire-breathing dragon, but they shift colours a lot. Generally I settle on blue or pink, but green shows up occasionally as well. I have two horns, silvery in colour. The shoot upwards for a few inches that turn sharply forwards to the direction of my snout.

 

My legs are long, ending in paws with long claws at the end of them. My body is thin, lithe, and long. My tail measures about the same shape as my body, it closely resembles a lion tail. It is long and thin, ending in a thick tuft of fur. The tuft’s colour is my choice, but I generally stick with blue or pink. Lastly, along the back of my head, neck, and down my spine is a long, stretched out tuft which, like my tail, is generally blue or pink. My spine tuft, tail tuft, and eyes are always the same colour.

 

Okay, I think that’s all. I suppose I should update this more. Uhh, everything’s good, I still suck at possession, and, yeah. Thanks for reading, more updates to come.

[Gryphon Flight]

June-30-2014

 

So, I've been absent. Not due to any personal affairs or whatnot, I just happen to find this site to be painfully dull lately. Perhaps I've missed some stuff in my absence, but somehow, it's grown dull enough around here to make me not wish to come on. Honestly, it'll probably continue like this because I'm not getting much out of this site at the moment, as much as it's provided a great amount of assistance to me in the past and I'm thankful for its assistance. Perhaps I'm just at a point where I don't need it anymore and that's why I find it dull, but either way, I just don't feel compelled to log on as much anymore.

 

So, yeah, don't expect much participation from me for a while. But I'll stop dragging this topic on and get on to some actual tulpa process.

 

Well, Shira still speaks fluently, she's still opinionated and sassy, and we're still very close friends. After a good long break from possession, we leaped back in to it today and Shira managed some very slow, jerky movement of my pinky finger before growing exhausted. Definitely and incredible experience, one that made us both smile.

[sushi]

Glad you're doing well, and I'm sorry to hear you won't be around much. I've been following your PR from the start, and I've even read through some of Shira's blog. I think it's pretty cool to hear from therians. I might have identified as a therian myself, when I was your age, but I didn't encounter the community until after some serious life-changing incidents, and I'm pretty much completely a different person now.

 

Anyway, I hope you reconsider and continue to post here occasionally.

[Gryphon Flight]

Glad you're doing well, and I'm sorry to hear you won't be around much. I've been following your PR from the start, and I've even read through some of Shira's blog. I think it's pretty cool to hear from therians. I might have identified as a therian myself, when I was your age, but I didn't encounter the community until after some serious life-changing incidents, and I'm pretty much completely a different person now.

 

Anyway, I hope you reconsider and continue to post here occasionally.

 

I'm grateful to hear that you've been following my PR and found our progress to be of interest! I do hope this thing has been somewhat helpful to you, and I will be attempting to post a bit more often as we have recently decided to reintegrate ourselves in to the community.

---

September-28-2014

 

My my, it has been a while, hasn't it? I don't know if I'll be logging on to update this much, but why not mark down what's going on lately as I try to regain interest in the community.

 

So, no new progress on possession. We decided to just take a break from that until we felt ready to return to it. I've be very stressed, depressed, and anxious lately and was barely finding the motivation to narrate, much less force. However, I'm going to do my best to change that by attempting to slowly make progress, maybe by first forcing once a week, before finally forcing daily or every other day once again so that we can actually make progress like we used to.

 

Two new voices in my head, say hello to Braxton and Wyvern.

 

Braxton started off as a daemon until further reflection upon him and my stance on spiritual beliefs lead me to call him a tulpa instead. He's an Arctic fox, rather quiet in nature but affectionate and kind. His personality is very unlike Shira, but they get along well. I'll let him talk more about himself in the future, but for now, I'm just trying to sum up the last 3 months of our lives. Anyways, he was born on July 26th, and is currently 2 months and 2 days old.

 

Wyvern is, you guessed it, a wyvern. His heritage is unknown to all of us, and the voiced was provoked suddenly by an odd item we found in the woods one day, which resembled a large egg. Someone's going to jump on me for metaphysics here, but the 'egg' is now gone without a trace and Wyvern's voice has been here ever since. I'm sure there's an explanation for this that can avoid the meta, but we've yet to find it. Moving on, he seems to refuse a name, so we just call him Wyvern. His scales are green, though he has a golden underside and silver horns/spines down his back. His eyes are golden as well. He's the most introverted, aside from myself, but clever and a bit of a worrier. He's a few weeks old, born/discovered on August 30th. Therefore, his personality isn't very developed right now, but we'll work on it.

 

Now that Wyvern and Braxton are both considered tulpas (at least unless I find a better term), I do plan to practice possession with both. Imposition is not something we're concerned with yet, and something that I personally have little to no interest in at all.

 

I do promise to try and be active, at least somewhat.

[FurryBlueNaki]

You said you felt like you were parroting when Shira wanted to be a bear. I sometimes wonder if I am parroting when I decide on a form that I want my tulpa to look like. His form changes sometimes randomly but always settles back to what I desire. He doesn't have a solid voice yet, so usually when he's talking I think I'm parroting then too. It's so hard to know. I feel my development is slow.

[Gryphon Flight]

You said you felt like you were parroting when Shira wanted to be a bear. I sometimes wonder if I am parroting when I decide on a form that I want my tulpa to look like. His form changes sometimes randomly but always settles back to what I desire. He doesn't have a solid voice yet, so usually when he's talking I think I'm parroting then too. It's so hard to know. I feel my development is slow.

 

I find that this is actually extremely common between tulpamancers with forms, names, whatever. I'd personally recommend that you just go with it, and this goes for any tulpamancer. If you're worried that you're parroting, just keep going, because parroting is consciously making your tulpa say something and if you're really that worried about it, there's a good chance you're not parroting because you're clearly not doing it consciously. If they say that they want a certain form, even if you're not sure whether or not you were parroting, it doesn't hurt to just let them have that form because they can always change it back later.

[Gryphon Flight]

September-29-2014

 

I've decided that I'm back, permanently. I need to get back in to the swing of things and catch up on what has been missed in my absence. It'll be nice to assist in the tulpamancing experiences of others once again, and I do hope to partake is somewhat of a quality discussion around here. Anyways, since I never had to do any personality work with Wyvern or Braxton, I figure I'll take some time here to allow us to flesh out their personalities a bit to get a feel for who they are and who they want to be.

 

B: Um, hello, I'm Braxton. I suppose this is where I explain myself. Well, I'm an INTJ of the assertive variant. In Hogwarts, I'd probably be sorted in to Hufflepuff, I think. Uhh, I guess, to talk about myself which is always such a hard thing to do, I'm generally a pretty laid back guy.. er.. fox. I try to be as helpful as I can with Gryphon and cope with the same anxiety and depression that affects everyone in our mind. I uh, enjoy being active I guess, running and whatnot. Skating's fun, too, but I can rarely convince Shira to go with me and Wyvern isn't interested. I speak rather fluently, and for some reason have been able to do so since the start. We never did any personality or visualization work with me, just everything happened all at once. I was a caiman for a while, though. I can't currently do possession or anything like that, but we plan to work on it ASAP. I think we'll dedicate a day to everyone. One day Shira does possession, the next day I do it, and the next day Wyvern does it. I don't know, how do other mancers with tulpas do it? Whatever, we'll figure it out. Uh, I'm horrible at this and kind of tired, so later.

 

More updates on their personalities to come as we all grow.