Nevermore July 16, 2012 July 16, 2012 I wouldn't worry about that I guess, I think trusting your tulpa is generally the best path, even if you do end up parroting a little bit. From what I have read from the accounts of the tulpae themselves, it seems like parroting doesn't really cause overly negative effects. (mostly just small impediments) Name: Arya Form: Anthro Avian Time Spent: 8-10 hours forcing, stopped counting narration time Stage: Wrapping up personality/Visualization good/She is speaking well
Goldsmith July 16, 2012 Author July 16, 2012 So, I was in the shower this morning, thinking lewd thoughts, and I heard very clearly in my head, 'STOP, your not 15.....', I assume this means she is going to make an effort to be more vocal from now on.
Nevermore July 16, 2012 July 16, 2012 Haha, I have to say that is a bit funny! XD Just wondering, how can you differentiate her from the rest of the thoughts in your head. I have yet to experience any sort of (to my knowledge) voice coming from my tulpa, so as GI Joe says, knowing (what to expect) is half the battle. Name: Arya Form: Anthro Avian Time Spent: 8-10 hours forcing, stopped counting narration time Stage: Wrapping up personality/Visualization good/She is speaking well
Goldsmith July 16, 2012 Author July 16, 2012 Her mind voice sounded a lot like mine but more feminine, and she mentioned that she is going to try harder to differentiate her speaking from mine.
Nevermore July 16, 2012 July 16, 2012 Hmm, I will have to remember that. Thanks for the info! :) Name: Arya Form: Anthro Avian Time Spent: 8-10 hours forcing, stopped counting narration time Stage: Wrapping up personality/Visualization good/She is speaking well
glitchthe3rd July 16, 2012 July 16, 2012 Should never let her on IRC then, if she dislikes lewd thoughts. "Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi My progress report
Goldsmith July 16, 2012 Author July 16, 2012 Glitch, I think she is ok with lewdness, I think she was just trying to get me to snap out of fantasizing while in the shower.
Goldsmith July 29, 2012 Author July 29, 2012 So I haven't posted as often but let us just say I have had some tough times and made slow but steady progress. Today was a fun day in wonderland. I greeted Lia in our mansion, and she was wearing the strangest get-up. She was wearing a black stone armor gauntlet that went up to her shoulder, and other than that, a black getup in general. I asked what for, she said for exploring. I asked if we were finally going to the desert behind the mansion, and she said no, we were going to see the cave underneath the island/continent/whatever this weird landmass is. She said there were some cool things in there. So, we walked towards the shore from the mansion, we kept getting distracted by side talk and such. Eventually we warped to the shore and dove in. The water was a peaceful deep blue and we swam into a cave deep under the island. We surfaced inside the cave, and her gauntlet gave off a bright green light. She said in the light, it is black, but in the darkness, it is light itself. It did a good job illuminating the area in a weird way. I say a weird way because it was never like it made the area around us less dark and more bright, but more that it just let us see the area clearly despite the darkness. We wandered through the caves and tunnels and reached an open area with a huge mass of glowing crystals. I honestly was expecting something like this, and expressed my disdain on not being shown things that surprised me. She said wait until I see what is behind it. She gave me a small mental flash of what looked like a river in a ravine. Intrigued, I followed her past the crystals and into the next chamber. What I saw next, and the following explanation from Lia, was very surprising indeed. A purple river containing what I can only describe as 'souls' or 'life force' or 'energy' or something equally abstract along the lines of that sort of context, in a deep ravine, flowing extremely fast yet smoothly. Blue energy particles and waves rose and fell from the river to the ceiling, like steam. Some of the 'steam' was thick and very visible, very concentrated. Other parts of the steam was thin, and like vapor, possibly even invisible at points. It was a wondrous sight that defied all explanation. Lia gave me one anyway. She described it as a river styx of sorts. It contained the souls of thought forms. All of them. It was the embodiment of every idea I have ever had, every concept, every character, every idea for a story, or a cool visual effect. Everything I had thought of before, that has since been used and discarded, was here. It was different from memories. These were the actual embodiments of the thoughts I have had themselves. They were the souls of concepts. Lia explained that the brain had to store them in a restrained and non living state somehow, or else they would naturally become 'living' thought forms in such sense. Whether it is something minor in the wonderland, a more advanced thought form such as a servitor, or even a true sentient like a tulpa. This is how my mind dealt with discarded thoughts, or ideas put on hold. She said my mind wouldn't delete these thoughts and ideas, because it sees use in them later. So they can resurrect entirely as I need them, or partially, if that is all that is required. The energy waves, or 'steam' is their life force, partially resurrecting and and dying again as the brain deems necessary for their use. My first instinct upon hearing all of this was to ask Lia the dangers this could pose to her. She said she would be fine, because this means if she ever did 'die' somehow, I could always resurrect her from the river, and it truly, absolutely, would be her. Not a copy or imitation. Even so, I felt she should be above this, even though she mentioned my brain already recognizes the value I place in her and likely would never discard her unless I lose that value for an extended period of time. So I forced in her an innate ability to resist this, and even resurrect herself from the river if she so chooses or has to. That way, no matter what happens, she will not be helpless. She seemed grateful, but she also gave the appearance that it was unnecessary. She seemed to feel that the river itself was more than enough insurance of her well being. After this, we returned to the mansion, and I asked, what next? She seemed to want to show me things she showed me before, now that I had better visualization. So, she changed clothing into a cool dress that is hard to describe, and we hopped on our broomsticks, and flew towards the abandoned city on the other side of the ocean. We wandered around, and she showed me a weird park with a big ass swing set. We swung on the swings for a while. After that we ran through the neighborhoods and found an old mansion. I walked into it and notice it had a checkered floor and looked really classy. She said she thinks it was an old home for my imagination? I found it confusing, but before we could really walk around and talk about it, I kept getting mental images of a library. She said she knows of the library I am thinking of, and took me there. Lots of books everywhere, but they were all written in what Lia called 'mentalese'. Apparently a language my brain understands. I asked her if she could read them, and she said yes, but it was weird and hard for her, like reading in a second language you were never taught, but intuitively understand. We left the library, and I decided I wanted a birds eye view of the city, so we flew up into the sky via levitation. Here I noticed something. The sun was setting! But time never changes in my mental world..... Lia then brought to my attention that time here works on 'where' not 'when'. Suddenly I started thinking to myself, what kinds of crazy differences this world could have at night. She said it is possible that monsters and the other strange thoughtforms created outside of conscious control that others have described might live at night, but she doesn't know for sure herself, as she never left the comfort of day. She could guarantee that in the world of day, monsters and the like were not supposed to exist. I say not supposed to, because the next part of this is where things get really interesting. We decided to leave the city, and return to the mansion. She showed me the floating zen waterfalls from really early in our wonderland forcing, and I could see that it was....a lot less grand than I initially expected, but still very beautiful. From here, I really wanted to see what was in the desert behind the mansion, but Lia kept saying nothing was out there. So Lia and I are riding bicycles out in the desert sand while she complains that this is a waste of time when all of a sudden I hear real life rumbling and shaking (like, audio hallucination, bros) and the sand around us like forms a tidal wave and just clears a large portion of itself over us. Lia and I are ok, of course. Where the sand used to be, a neighbor hood is. It looked like a friendly culdesac, unlike any I have seen before. I mentioned that it looked like a real life version of the culdesac from Ed Edd and Eddy. I went to explore one house, and it was empty. Lia said something like 'don't waste your time, it would be pointless to check every house'. I agreed and walked around the street of the culdesac, and noticed a shadowy figure. I was saying something like 'Lia, w-what the fuck is that!'. It came out into clear view and it was a dark and distorted humanoid figure. It appeared to want to talk, so I asked it too. It was jibberish, but Lia said she could translate and explain some background on it. I forced a table and some chairs, we sat down, and stuff was learned. The shadow was some negative feelings I had in relation to some family problems and drama. He was hiding in the desert because he didn't want to die yet. He wanted to confront me on some things. Through Lia as my translator, he questioned me and prodded, asking why I was forgiving of this, or how I moved on from that, or what causes me to have faith or believe in somethings. Each time I answered, he appeared a little more at peace, and more tired. By the end of it, he seemed satisfied, and said he was ok with leaving to go flow in the river now. He dissipated and Lia said he was in the Styx-like River now. I took Lia home to the mansion. I was pretty exhausted by now and had enough enlightenment for the day. I thanked her for what she showed me, and left the wonderland. Some crazy shit for a 35 minute forcing session, huh?
ThatOneGuy July 29, 2012 July 29, 2012 tl;dr Would you mind bolding important parts for those of us that don't feel like reading walls of text? Orange juice helps with concentration headaches.
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.