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Goldsmith and Lia


Goldsmith

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Today I took my first step into Tulpa Creation. I settled on a form (a white haired loli style human girl) and closed my eyes and set to work. I lay down on my bed, closed my eyes and started in a black void. I cycled through names until I found one that felt 'right' and settled on Lia. Then I began talking into the void, telling her the three core personality traits that will make up who she is. Honesty, Heart, and Intelligence. I stressed that I wanted her to be her own person, and informed her that I am going to avoid pushing too much personality into her- that I would rather her be herself, whoever that might turn out to be. I described my vision of her honesty, heart, and intelligence to her, one by one. Then I began on crafting a form. I found this part very difficult at first and it bothered me throughout. There were regular breaks in concentration where I found myself suddenly thinking about something else besides Lia and occasional background noise, such as me hearing thoughts and different imaginary scenarios completely unrelated running in the background of my forcing. Is this normal? Is there a way to better focus my concentration? Can this harm or hinder the creation process?

 

Even though I can see the form in my minds eye normally, when just casually thinking, it was very difficult to see her form while forcing in the void. It was exceedingly blurry, especially the face and shoulder area. Also, whenever I forced her backside, her hair would seemingly be gone, and I would have to go out of my way to force her hair back. From the front, however, her hair would always be visible, and long (goes about halfway down her back). Any tips or hints for better forcing?

 

There were also times while forcing that I would feel lewd feelings were have a flash of lewd imagery involving her. I felt bad about it, and apologized to her every time this happened (about 4-5 times in the hour long session) and explained to her that she shouldn't take it in a bad way or personally- I am just a pervert like that.

 

Near the end, I felt like I had to do something to 'put all the pieces together'. I visualized the name 'Lia' in glowing letters being absorbed into the form. Then I imagined a huge golden potion, which I had her drink for honesty, and red one for heart, and a metallic silver/lavender one for Intelligence.

 

While sculpting her form out in the void, I found it easier to move around and manipulate her with real life physical body motions (as in, I would actually move my arm in real life as if I am lifting her arm in order to lift her arm in the void, so that I can pat her down and force the physical essence of her form. Is this the proper way to do things?

 

When I narrate to her, I do it by whispering out loud and addressing her by name usually, is this the correct way?

 

When visualizing, am I supposed to be doing anything more than trying to make her clearer in my minds eye?

 

I ended the session by hugging her and telling her I loved her. Is that inappropriate and should I refrain from it? I kind of feel that it is natural for a creator to love its creations, but because it will be sentient eventually, I do not know if this will cause implications or unintended consequences in the future.

 

 

Sorry for the over abundance of questions. I am just beginning at this, and I want to make sure everything goes smoothly. The format may appear strange, with the underline and the bold, but I did that to make it easier for people to answer my questions.

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Guest applesauce99

you seem to ask a lot if you're doing things the 'right way'. Literally: the right way is what you feel comfortable doing. This tulpa thing isn't supposed to be difficult to do, its just finding a way that feels right - as just about anything you do to the tulpa will have measurable progress except for ignoring the tulpa completely.

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About the hair disappearing: happens to me ALL THE TIME. It's really annoying, but it's got a lot better after a few sessions. Don't worry about it, just bring the hair back when you realize it's missing.

 

For concentration, I find sitting down comfortably (not laying down) with some background stimulation, like a TV or some Fede Lasses tones help with concentration. I know that may sound weird (especially the TV part), but I have more intrusive thoughts or start dozing off with silence. Also, the TV gives the chance for a narration topic if you're out of things to say.

 

And finally, any lewd feelings should go away. It's like going to a nudist colony (or so I heard, I've never gone to one). It might seem awkward at first, but eventually it should be completely natural.

Name: Suzy

Form: Like my avatar, but realistic.

Time: 58 hours.

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Something interesting that I wasn't expecting today. I had a lot of personal drama late last night, and when I woke up, it was still in my mind. I was playing scenarios in my head trying to figure out how to fix the relationship, when all of a sudden Lia's form showed up inside the scenarios. She didn't move or emote at all, but she was there. I kindly asked her to go and said I would focus on her later and she vanished.

 

Later I was narrating, and to help with narration, I noticed it is easier if I think of her form in my mind while I narrate. Well, I said something very flattering, along the lines of 'I can't wait for us to have great times together', and she smiled! Now, this is only day 2, so I am 90% sure that was parroted, which makes me worry, because I didn't even make a conscious effort towards that, it just kind of happened. So my question for any of you who already have a Tulpa is: Is there a point where you can no longer parrot your Tulpa?

 

I would like to reach such a point ASAP to avoid doing anything detrimental, such as accidentally parroting without realizing it.

 

I am going to go force for about an hour now.

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Well, I cannot say if there will be a point you can't parrot since my tulpa is not far developed, but I found this very helpful to deal with parroting. I've even started unconsciously pointing my eyes down now, so my parroting has decreased almost 100% since I started doing it.

Name: Suzy

Form: Like my avatar, but realistic.

Time: 58 hours.

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Back from forcing, I am kind of upset. I had a very difficult time staying focused, with my mind randomly wandering and forgetting about forcing for minutes at a time. The times when I was focused, I had a very difficult time seeing her, with her being almost invisible excluding brief flashes of (very blurry) clarity, and I still can't get any detail on her face. Her has seems to be deviating a little bit too, which has also been throwing off my focus and concentration.

 

I think tomorrow I am going to give Fede's tones a try. Hopefully they can help me focus.

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There's a focus technique around here somewhere. I can't find it, but I'll paraphrase it for you.

 

Get an five index cards and put dots on them. 1 dot on the first card, 2 on the second, etc. Take one minute to look at the first card with one dot. Cement the image in your mind. Then, close your eyes. Focus on and visualize this dot and nothing else for five full minutes. If your mind wanders, start the timer over.

 

Repeat for the next four cards, focusing on increasing numbers of dots, and your focus should improve greatly.

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I forced twice today. First was an hour long session. My mind wandered a lot, but I feel I was still able to get some stuff done. TulpaTone helps a lot. Even so, half the time was wasted on wandering thoughts. The second session I just completed was shorter, at only 30 minutes, but was much better. My mind only wandered once or twice, for very short intervals. I was able to visualize better, even though it is still very blurry. I can see her clearly in bits and pieces if I zoom in. But viewing all of her at once is still difficult. And of course, her face is still nearly impossible to make out. A mosaic filter is clearer than her face sometimes. Her hair is nice, and seems to have deviated from my original intent, but is now the most stable part of her form. It used to be kind of messy and wavy, but it became a neat and long hime cut. Its nice, and is the most vivid and realistic part of her form right now hands down.

 

I feel like I am being kind of lazy when it comes to narrating during everyday life. I can be kind of quiet at times, and often with discussion with people I do not know yet, I usually let them lead the conversation, or I will lead based on their responses. This makes it kind of difficult to speak naturally too Lia aside from simple explanations for what I am doing (usually while forcing) or how something makes me feel. If anyone has any comments to help with Narration, I would be glad to hear it.

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For the concentration bit, it helps if you listen to trance or classical music. You might also try listening to Fede's tones, I and others find them to be a waste but some swear by them.

 

In regard to lewd thoughts about your tulpa, I'm of the opinion that they will inevitably feel some degree of attraction for you, though of course whether or not to reciprocate on that is up to you.

 

I'm a little drunk atm, so feel free to ignore me.

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

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Finished another forcing session. Lia is becoming clearer bit by bit every time I force, and it is making me excited. I found that it is easier to force her if I have her stand in specific poses, so I have been doing that. It is also easier for me to force in two 30 minute sessions each day instead of doing a single long hour long session- I keep my focus easier if it is only 30 minutes at a time. Reading around, it seems a lot of people get head aches or pressure in their head from forcing, but I have none of that. I do have a slight head rush and light headed feeling after each forcing session, but I also get that same sensation every time I finish reading as well. I do have a slight and strange and very vague feeling that something else is there however, so I guess that means something is working.

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