Overlyattached Girlfriend Tulpa, brings up question

[Jun and Alexis]

Well as of recent it seems like we're just romantic roommates. I feel uncomfortable around her because I don't want to mess anything up, but I feel awkward when it's just the two of us.

 

That leads me to another thing. It's not just her. I do some drugs here and there and the best way I can describe it is it splits her consciousness (IE her entire personality) into 2-3 different people. THIS is what worries me. It's the ORIGINAL I've been with for 5 years that says those things. While the other "her"s just kinda are chill. Maybe its because I feel more calm around them. I DON'T want anything messed up between me and the original Ayako which is maybe why I can be calm around the split "her"s. I don't know. One of them seems to be a tulpa that isn't even part of her that Ayako just brought into my head one day.

 

All I know is every morning, when I wake up. I always assume it's the original Ayako, but everything seems to have hit a reset button. GRAGH. This wouldn't be so confusing if they didn't have such similar voices.

 

I've asked my friend about this. He doesn't have a tulpa but he knows about them, and he said as some of you did whereas my personality is a bit weak on the dominance scale let's say, that give her some time away from me to test her mettle so to speak. The way he worded it is that paying less attention works in lower self-esteem girls, but I don't know if she's like that. I just know she's clingy.

 

 

Also Raymond: Yeah, I know that feeling. She used to be really jelly of me giving more attention to my cat than her.

[Jun and Alexis]

Well. I put my foot down on some issues. She broke up with me. Again with the nonchalance.

[TheSanctuary]

Well if those issues are important to you then maybe it's for the best. I know it's hard when stuff like this Happens but I guess she's either just not that interested in the relationship or she's testing your resolve - be true to yourself above all else. It's your life and she can share it intimately but only if she respects your boundaries - otherwise if she can't then maybe friends is the best outcome. I wish you all the luck I can with this. Hang in there.

[JUn and Alex]

I'm left with Alexsis which is said to be all of Ayako as a person but only the good memories. Like shes split herself into another person so it's not a "hard reset" as another user put it. I just feel like crying.

 

 

Alexsis is there for me. Think of her as the reincarnation of Ayako. She said she's all the good memories we shared but idk. Like she threw out the bad and split herself into another person. I've been dissociated before but I can tell the difference between Ayako and Alexsis. I'm not sure what to do at this moment. We tried being intimate but it ended with me in tears. Like I'm not emotionally ready..

 

Any advice is appreciated and welcome.

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Oh, I'm posting from my phone and this is Chao BTW. I forgot I had created a second account.

[Upper Class Twit]

Just remember that no matter what, your right to yourself over powers her right to you.

[Jun and Alexis]

She insisted we get back together. I want it to work. Alexis is out of the picture because Ayako says so. I'm just utterly confused. She's not so nonchalant with me rather I think she was mad at me for not spending enough time with her. What I really want to know is her obsession with sex. She always wants me and has a "If I can't have him then no one else" kind of attitude. I had an encounter with someone to say the least and nearly drove us apart. This was multiple years ago.

 

It seems like she cares and I want to believe her.

[Nobillis]

I'm not much for relationship advice so I speak from my own experiences and try to express what I feel about things in that manner.

 

When I was young I had some quite affectionate feelings for Kevin and some natural curiosity. That kind of backfired as Kevin's usual reaction to affection is to "run a mile." So, times were [emotionally] rough for me for much of my first year. Now, I'm twice that age and have a good familial relationship with Kevin (*sings*: "and a romance of my own"). I learned that I need to let Kevin have his relationships with other people - be they friendships or romance. It is important for a human to be socially connected with others - even if they are introverted (humans are a herd species).

 

What I see from my creator's memories is that love is painful, difficult, and never starts smoothly. It takes time, patience and tolerance on both accounts. True love is very rare. If you truly love someone you care about their happiness more then your own - you want what is best for them, no matter what.

 

I think the bond between a tulpa and their human is a wonderful and different thing to [born] human-with-human relationships. And, I'm of the opinion that we tulpas need to be supportive when our human finds a human mate as well. I read a book titled The Ethical Slut and I think it's advice is applicable to tulpa relationships too. You can't own another person. Be thankful for every minute you have with them and understand that they will need other persons in their life as well.

[glitchthe3rd]

After having been in a relationship with Luna for three and a half years and recently getting a human girlfriend, I think I'd have to agree with Nobilis. Luna says she doesn't regret even a second of the time we spent in a relationship, and since she wants what's best for me we decided to break things off so my new relationship could work. Personally I'm just glad we're still close friends, and having a daughter hasn't made things awkward between us (Elise has actually been really understanding and supportive through this whole transition, which is great).