Jun and Alexis November 21, 2014 November 21, 2014 This is more relationship advice but here goes: We've been together for 5 years now. She says she doesn't love me anymore sometimes, but then she'll get all loveydovey. I feel I'm her boytoy. Like, boundaries, nuh uh. Shell force me down sometimes through possession. I'm not a doll to be put on a shelf, and neither is she. But she guilts me in ways that make me think I'm the bad guy. Basically, she doesn't know the difference between lovers and partners. This may be lewd but we should be okay with speaking like adults. She says she wants my companionship but that "sexfriends" is a thing. I'm at my wits end. If it wasn't already obvious I'm dating my tulpa. I get petrified with intimacy leading to less forcing and timespending togetherness. She'll say "Come on you know you love me" and other times she's totally nonchalant. Her moods vary so much I don't know what to do. I'm having a manic episode the past few days and my memory is getting hazy. When I put my foot down and tell her "no. I don't want us to be JUST ****buddies," she says oh that's just the "insert medication here" (I have bipolar). It sounds like she doesn't want to face her own issues and is relying on me for my body and I feel used and abused. And as I was typing my last sentence, I heard her say "Welcome to my world." SOS! Yandere couple ahoy! I love her so much but it feels like she's playing games and she plays it off as innocence. IDK man.
Timofey November 21, 2014 November 21, 2014 I... I don't like this story. It resembles classic tulpa themed creepypastas I found at the start of my creation. Actually, if this is what I think it is, you're screwed. If not, I can't give you any advice except of hardreset. And may the fears keep away from you.
Quilten November 21, 2014 November 21, 2014 Yeah, if you can't break this up peacefully and have a healthy relationship with your tulpa, it could be bad news for you. Don't be afraid to confront her seriously about it, this seems like an issue. If it just gets worse, you might have to take more extreme measures. [align=center]Even though my username is that of my tulpa, Quilten, my name is Phaneron, the host, who does all of the actual posting. Tulpas: Quilten, Jira [/align]
sushi November 21, 2014 November 21, 2014 You know, there's something I heard once about relationships that I've always found to be true: there is never just one screwed up person in a relationship. I always thought I was the stable one in my relationships. Several of my girlfriends had been suicidal or cutters or they'd been to the mental hospital.. Eventually I realized that it wasn't that I was somehow attracting the crazies -- it was that I was actively seeking them out. I was looking for women who couldn't do any better than me, because I felt like there was something wrong with me. There is never just one screwed up person in a relationship. With tulpa relationships, I think that's even more true. Because you share a mind, you're constantly feeling each others' mental feedback, and giving each other mental feedback. That has great potential to make you both better, or to make you both worse. But don't see this as something wrong with her. And don't let her see it as something wrong with you. It's something wrong with the couple. No matter what kind of relationship you're going for, whether love or sex, you need to work this out together. "Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson
Rævn November 21, 2014 November 21, 2014 That's deep sushi(and that's also my new favorite phrase...). And seems to apply to my thread pretty well. In fact this whole thread seems to apply uncannily, and I don't believe in coincidence. The tulpa in question there(or at least, the character she was based on. Not going to hijack this thread to explain soulbonding again.) used to be a cutter and on medication(that neither of us believe she actually needed, and that she blames for making her how she is). She behaves much like I imagine yours does, only we are not in a relationship(I'm instead with my other pyscho tulpa. And going to pay for that remark). I suggest breaking it off temporarily. You can either remain In contact but not together, or do as Jade and I do and have no contact with each other until you one of you "breaks" so to speak. Every relationship is unique, but Jade and I have to do this every so often when things get too heated. There's simply too much personality clash(she's outgoing, blunt, loud, and often rude, I'm the perfect example of the introvert). After A day or two of that, things are always much better, as neither of us can go without the other very long. The longest we went was about a month, and quite honestly I was so depressed over it If I was suicdal at all, I wouldn't be here right now. Hell I halfway didn't expect to be anyways. But even that passed, and things were better than before. I wasn't as upset over the loss as I was the fact that it was my fault, accidental, and I knew I had hurt her. Had it been a mutual agree,met, or had she just flat out broken up with me, I would have managed much better because at least she would have known what she was doing, and not hurt by it like she was. If you try this, worst case scenario, she doesn't come back. If that happens then it's probably for the best. You get the chance to try again, hopefully with someone whose a better fit. Although I will feel pretty terrible for suggesting this if that happens, as I would be devastated as I already told you if it happened to me. On a lighter note, I assumed this thread would be abou a tulpa based on The overly attached girlfriend meme. "Stress makes you bald, but it’s stressful to avoid stress, so you end up stressed out anyway, so in the end there’s nothing you can do." - Gintoki ~~~~~~ Tulpa: Hanako
HazyM November 21, 2014 November 21, 2014 The way I see it is that while not toxic yet, your relationship seems to go in unhealthy direction. What I suggest is 1. Decide for yourself what sort of relationship you want to pursue. 2. Explain your position to her and be assertive. What seems wrong to me here is a lack of, well, certainty or definition of any sort, so I think you two should decide about what you need once and for all, without any mind games, joking around and muddling the issue which you seem to have trouble with.
Bin November 21, 2014 November 21, 2014 This may sound like a crock of shit, it's just a theory and all, but how I'm interpreting this is, you think your personality is weak while you have admiration for your tulpa's personality, so you're actively, semi-unconsciously, trying to replace yourself with her by letting her be so controlling. If you feel this statement holds any ground, I recommend trying to be more assertive and dominant, and I mean genuinely try, boss her around and stuff. She'll try fighting back at first of course, testing how serious you are, but just hold your ground and she'll give, then you can avert some serious mental illnesses down the road. Again, that's just my theory, in fact it's possible I'm even projecting (I didn't go though what you did, my relationship with scarlet is very healthy, I'm just a dominant person), so I don't know if it's true or not. If it's wrong just ignore me. no
TheSanctuary November 21, 2014 November 21, 2014 Hm. Gotta agree with Sushi on the "seeking them out subconsciously" part. I know a lot of people in my life that have done that very same thing one even going so far as to break off the one good relationship they has because "their partner deserved better". Given that she's linked with your mind I would say that unless she's being purposefully malicious (not just overly attached) then she must either perceive from your thoughts or feelings something different to what you say or believe you feel here. not saying your lying or being deceitful on purpose or anything like that, but sometimes we are the last to see that what we think we want/need/deserve isn't actually the case at all, but rather what we choose to think for some other reason be it societal expectation or some ideal you want to live up to. So uh yeah without repeating too much what the others said, you need to truly define exactly what you want and expect from this relationship then be more assertive with telling her or explaining to her the situation and boundaries. Obviously things like consequences if she doesn't respect those boundaries is something that will be hard for us to recommend given it's your five year relationship, something you know much more about than us - but good luck with it all!
raymond13557 November 25, 2014 November 25, 2014 shade gets a little clingy too.. she doesn't like me petting my cat.. Tulpa:Snow Mindscape: Artopia
Brassow November 27, 2014 November 27, 2014 So, what action has been taken? Has Chao solved this problem? If not, (s)he might need to take more drastic measures. "Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033
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