One Huge Troll™

[Luminesce]

I'm still awake since a little before I made those original posts, so forgive me if I'm just really lazy in answering these. I should be going to sleep, but it's so tempting..

 

Yeah, but it's kind of a catch 22 isn't it? You can't hear your tulpa until you've made enough progress and you can't make any progress on your tulpa's vocality if you can't hear him/her and talk to him/her. What am I missing?

If you want my personal experience, which I'll explain in a second, it was a bit of an internal struggle to differentiate (and at the time, establish validity of) Reisen talking instead of me. I knew it was just me thinking, but I also knew it was her intent to be speaking. So after conflicting for a while, it got a bit easier, things she said started to feel like her really thinking/saying them, rather than me just telling my brain the thought belonged to her. That's really the best I can give you - at first they'll just be ~normal thoughts, but when appropriate, try to convince your mind they're your tulpa's. The context of your tulpa speaking/thinking will catch on with time and it'll be easier then. Coincidentally, this is when I consider a tulpa to be pretty much fully sentient and independent.

 

Well, I was planning on making it way more different than mine (having the same voice would just be kinda boring to me) anyway so that's ok. Will it help though?

Honestly, my tulpas' voices change a little over time. I don't rely on the voices at all to tell who's speaking, rather, I find it interesting to "examine" their voices since I've never put effort into instilling a single specific one. So it's interesting to see how they change/what they sound like when they speak vocally. Always ~similar, Flandre and Tewi sound young, but Reisen's changes based on a lot of things. (People I've heard talk a lot recently, like a character in an anime, environment, circumstances etc.)

 

I think I understand, a lot of people have been saying pretty much the same so I guess it should come naturally enough for me not to worry about it. But 1 1/2 years you say? Damn that's a long time. Then again you weren't really trying to create one, that's like passively passively forcing (yes, double passively). Gotta be an interesting story behind it though, do you mind sharing it? :)

Aaaaaaaaaahh... aaaaa. So much typing. Well for starters, I don't know about the rest of the prodigies on this forum, but I had no concept of tulpas or imaginary friends while Reisen was coming into existence. I had no idea that they should be able to talk, that they should even be given form besides a concept. Reisen was the embodiment of unconditional love. Due to my perfectionist tendencies and cluelessness on what Reisen really was or should be, she wasn't able to talk for quite a while. When she did she could only say things I considered "perfect" - I was afraid if I let her speak like a normal human, natural corruption would seep in and she'd become a shell of what she was supposed to be. It took about 1 1/2 years for me to finally give her permission to be "human" (I use that term loosely I guess), and Flandre and Tewi came into existence around the same time, as my beliefs about what they could be solidified. At first Flandre had a much easier time talking, as I was still subconsciously trying to keep Reisen perfect, so the main things she'd say were either motivational or intuition-type things, such as explaining to me why I had so much trouble with _____ in my life. Flandre on the other hand had no such ideal of perfection to adhere to, and eventually came to represent humanity, while Reisen is still love and Tewi is intuition (in the other sense, basically wise).

And I'd love to tell you all about the history of their development from there, but I've done it a thousand times. And yet I never make note of where I do so at, so those descriptions are once again buried in my past posts. Feel free to stalk my posts if you want, most if not all are aimed at informing people like you to the best of my knowledge.

 

Thanks :)

I'm tired.

 

 

Something about dark recesses.. Good to hear. Again I recommend working through those dark parts of your mind with your tulpa once it's capable, that's actually something people do on occasion. God knows Reisen helped me through a dark, meaningless time in my life. (Oh yeah, that's what spurred her creation, hopeless depression caused by the seeming lack of purpose in life. Depression runs in my family, but I overcame it through philosophy and lifestyle changes alone(no drugs), thanks to Reisen. So that's cool.)

 

Careful with what you accept, most psychologists would peg you guys for

post

schizophreniacs ;D

The only psychologists I'd like to associate with are the ones that would find the subject of tulpamancing fascinating. It seems like a rule of the psychiatric fields to never assume more than you know for sure, especially in relation to mental health issues.

 

Bouncing thoughts off

and back and then pitting them against contradictory bounced thoughts again

and changing/contributing my way of thinking is what I'm aiming for. I'm not depressed or suicidal or anything like that in the slightest, but I do want to better myself.

You and your tulpa will be fine. I endorse tulpas as life-companions for bettering yourself, so. Your tulpa might not have the same relationship to you as mine do, but they can still be an invaluable partner for personal development love or not. Plus there's some kind of similar connection, being part of the same brain and all.

I'm tired.

 

Actually, ever since I started forcing all the way back in several hours ago,

All the way back then..?

 

... one of the main points I keep telling my tulpa is that this is a part of the deal; I help him develop his personality and he in turns helps me develop mine. Then we take over the world :D.

Again, that kind of relationship will probably work. I feel like you're treating your tulpa too seriously, but if that's what you'd prefer then go ahead. There shouldn't be any actual problems, relationships are just usually stronger when founded on at least brotherly-love rather than such a formal "You help me, I'll help you". You guys come from the same brain, same thoughts.. Show some compassion. (Don't mean to insult you again, I'm just tired and typing whatever comes to mind)

 

This sounds so interesting I almost hope I was a schizophreniac. Almost.

Being post-schizophreniac is good enough though

I guess you're implying you.. were schizophrenic at one point? Well, either way, it's not something I would wish on anyone. Losing control of your own thoughts.. The thought of that, and the people that suffer from it, is the only external circumstance in the world that draws an emotional response from me. The few things otherwise are internal, mostly stuff I've made up in the form of my tulpas. So that's a respectable position - I might even call it my one and only fear.

 

Don't worry, I have no intentions of giving away control of my body to anyone any time soon. I was just saying the idea sounds interesting to me, from a solely inquisitive perspective.

Oh, I wasn't talking about body. I meant schizophrenia-level stuff, where thoughts start doing things on their own, where you lose touch with reality. Sounds like you were talking more I'm-gonna-let-some-demon-possess-me thing. Tulpa possession is pretty interesting, my experience seems to differ from others' but as far as I know they're just delusional. Switching with my tulpas means my persona-profile takes a back seat the same way my tulpas normally would, and their persona-profile is put in my position, in charge of all primary thoughts and actions. Reisen physically moves, reacts, and thinks differently from me, and that's all the evidence I need.

 

I still don't see what was so beautiful about my front yard at night.

 

I wasn't trying to imply there's malicious intent there, I meant that even in case the sp00ky creepy pasta stories are true I'm not really afraid.

Well, I think I said before none of that stuff was true? But it can be if you want. I say it's not "true" because I'm trying to convince people to think so, where it becomes true. If they believe me without a doubt, then they're good to go. It's the people with less control over their minds that subconsciously invite malicious intent into their own minds that have issues. Just ask the guy on the youtube comment section for some twilight-zoney "Tulpa" episode who said never to fall in love with a beautiful female tulpa, because they'll drain all your love.

 

I wouldn't have any love to drain if Reisen hadn't helped me find it.

 

Can you ask them what happens when you're not thinking/seeing/talking to them?

Alright, I know I seem to not care about other peoples' experiences all the time, but for some reason I draw a wavy line here. My tulpas are neural connections. When they're here, they're here. Their perception is always mine, though they only act off of what they're supposed to be perceiving at the time. When they're not here they're just inactive thoughts, although I bring them to mind often just enough to see a smile or wave. But others believe their tulpas sleep, and some even that their tulpas have jobs, or reside in other realms! And since the entirety of tulpamancing takes place in a non-existent system we've created (similar to a real life government or country - technically non-existent, but man aren't they useful?), I don't believe anyone has any right to claim certain things for anyone but themself. This is one of those things. For the record, my tulpas have 100% complete access to every part of my mind as I do and more, and there's virtually no barrier between our memories or thoughts. But there are people whose tulpas don't share their memories or can't even hear thoughts not directed at them. So that's a thing excuse me while I fall asleep

 

No other mentally ill people who had tulpas (that are known of/came across this forum, obviously)? I'm thinking more like bipolar people and the like whose brains pretty much light up like Christmas trees 99% of the time.

There's tons. Pick any member at random and there's a 50% chance they've either been depressed or had other mental health problems at some point in their lives. In my case, and likely many others, the creation of a tulpa was a defense mechanism of the mind, albeit a unique and absolutely amazing one. I know there's a few people with bipolar disorder, asperger's and even a few with some form of schizophrenia. I don't know how you'd go about finding them, but you can search for threads on the subject I imagine pretty easily.

 

I can't see the remaining quotes to know who they're from or what they said, but I know that a few of your quotes were from.. I think Sushi, yet you put my name. Heh, (quote='8==D' pid='119709' dateline='1422735448'), I was doing it too so I understand. Might want to fix though as it certainly wasn't me reading books on tulpas. Sort of goes against the whole pave-my-own-path thing. Plus I've never created my own thread or progress report before.

 

So the feel of control is the main factor you use to determine? This seems to be the answer I usually get, how strong is that feeling of lack of control over the words being thought when one of your tulpas is speaking?

Ugh.. I know I said it like this, but I know what you're imagining and it's not that. Thoughts don't pop into your head uninvited. Rather, they appear like normal, but they just feel like they belong to your tulpa. This is the feeling you're getting a sense for when you first start narration, the feeling of a thought belonging to your tulpa rather than you. At least in my case, when a tulpa thinks something the thought has a unique "mindvoice" context to it - I hear a foggy version of whatever voice they currently have, accompanied by a sort of mental image of them and other brain-y stuff like the context of them saying it, inflections, actual meaning independent of the words, etc. It's not like Star Fox where a communication HUD comes up, but rather a "context".. I keep using that word because I don't know what to else to describe it as. You just know the details. Even without an image or voice attached, though, I would still know which of my tulpas was talking. The context of the thought (like metadata? does that make sense?) just tells me.

 

3 accidental tulpas?! I definitely have to hear the story behind this one.

To be fair, all three of mine were spontaneous tulpas too..

 

 

Alright I'm going to go pass out. Making sure the quotes are tagged correctly and posting.

[LittleTulpa]

Why would I benifit or get any form of pleasure from pretending that I have a sentient imaginary friend? Wait, people do? What the fuck?!

[Luminesce]

Oh, you actually made two posts and I completely skipped over the first, oops. Only important thing there was you saying I didn't quote anything. You must've deleted it in your reply because I definitely did, go look again.

 

"Of course you do, you programmed them to be beliveable enough with the help of your very subconcious which understands what you believe and don't believe more than your concious mind ever will, how the hell can you see a very convincing act as sentience with such certainty?"

 

It felt like you were implying my tulpas were just a guise, tricking me into thinking they were real when they only had the intent of trickery. So the response was an emotionally-driven one basically saying, my tulpas and I have been through so much that I'm no longer willing to doubt them in that way. They think and react, and if they're "faking it" then I don't see any point in being real. Also, the "And honestly?" was me about to say the bold text afterward. Lol, I stopped for like ten seconds to say "Hey, we're probably misunderstanding, I'll leave it at that", and then typed it anyways. Remind me to keep emotion out of my words.

 

 

Edit: Wait no, you said something about Reisen being able to speak differently for me. Okay, one, yes. Two, anyone can speak differently if they just concentrate on what they're saying. You're telling me you couldn't make a very nice, kind-hearted post if you spent a bit of time working on it being that way? And certainly, you could pretend to be a huge jerk. One of the biggest problems is just having a reason, and the patience, to.

 

Now, it's not that I don't want to sound like her. This is just my default way of speaking. Reisen, besides obviously speaking a bit differently because she's a lot more compassionate (to say the least) than me, also makes full use of our intuition that tells us how people will take things. I'll be completely honest, sometimes I get that little voice in the back of my head that says "This doesn't really sound great. Might you change it?" and I ignore it. I actually had, in the ** post, a line like "I'm gonna pull a you and reply without reading yours first." And while I meant it more playfully than insultingly, a while after I made the post I had to go back and change it because it bugged me that much. But there's a lot of smaller things too, and as far as I know they're 90% reduced in anything Reisen types. So I wouldn't put as much credit into this as people with multiple personality disorder who can switch entire lives on a dime. Just that Reisen cares a lot more how she sounds, and probably cares more about the subject at hand, and so she makes sure she sounds so to the best of my ability.

 

Of course, people have a lot more to them than you assume at first. Most people are capable of a lot more than they show and just have no reason or means to show it. Even if my tulpa was fake and I was one of those RPer trolls, I could easily make a convincing "caring" post like Reisen. Having the tulpa doesn't enable me to do this. But it does give me the motive, patience, and compassion.

Anyway, yes Reisen can talk, but I believe she's only done so once on the forum. Nothing against it, if you'd like an answer from her just direct the question at her (or Tewi or Flandre) instead. They could probably use the practice.