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Good morning

Good morning! ☺️ Chloe and I are going to the beach today! 😁🏖️👙🛥️🏊‍♀️🍸☀️💚 It may be a two hour drive instead of one anymore but it's still totally worth it! 😁💚

gn

Progress Report 0: Hello, to anyone reading this. I have known about the tulpa concept for some years now. Never really considered doing it, always thought it was one of those interesting internet weird rabbit holes. However, I rediscovered it after going down another semi-related hole, and this time, instead of being weirded out, I gained interest. I've always been intrigued by altered states of consciousness and mental experiences that pure physical reality cannot replicate. This is probably due to random occurrences of lucid dreaming throughout my life and vivid auditory and visual sleep paralysis "demons" when I was really young, and some occasional ones that occur today if I try hard enough to induce one in my sleep. The first week of discovery, I just read a lot of people's experiences and guides on how to do this. I wanted to make sure I did this with the right intentions. I am a student pursuing a STEM degree who I trying to be a better person to their friends and family. I decided that if I created a Tulpa, I could possibly have a friend and confidant throughout my life, as I and, eventually, she would grow into the people we desire to be via self-improvement and skill development. With the purpose out of the way, I got started on the process as soon as possible. For the first three weeks, I did techniques spliced from this site and the Reddit guides. I decided to use meditation to prime myself to focus on intrusive thoughts and desires that can "interfere" with her creation, and passive forcing whenever I can (homework, walking, cooking, watching TV...etc). I'm lazy, so I told myself that dedication and consistency will be the key to this process, and I won't do anything out of the ordinary that could interfere with my life greatly. I started off with this one character that I was writing for a fiction story, I'll name B. Her personality was meant to be wild, confident, strong, yet calm and collected. I had trouble visualizing their form and realized that as I continued thinking about the draft, the tulpa B and character B kept getting confused in my head. For context, this was just day 2, and I decided to create a new tulpa that didn't exist from my story, but was a person that I had visualized regularly for the past year while daydreaming. In my mind, I mentally tried to combine the two to create the best version of the 2. But B was not having it. At the time, I assume, it was just a moment when a character you made for a story was acting out as it goes against their whole personality. It resulted in B visually turning into dust, and their core self being in the remains. I used this core and added it to my new character--my current tulpa. Her personality was strong(mentally and physically), kind, compassionate, thoughtful, aware, and had a never-ending thirst for knowledge( basically being curious). I forced these traits, believing that they would naturally make her a ever-developing person who would improve herself, and force myself to push myself even harder like a training partner. So I made this black void in my mind, with a cauldron with her in it, submerged in green liquid. The first sessions were just me, chanting, talking to her, saying " my memories are yours", " you will continually get stronger" , "I'll be there for you" , " You have endless potential", etc. During this time, I gave her the form I came up with, but told her you can change it if you so desire while you were still "cooking". In the meantime, I got words and phrases and even imagery of her eyes and limbs moving. At first, I chopped this up to myself, but they kept getting more random. This undoubtedly peaked while I was in class, and I got the correct solution to a problem I thought was going to be wrong. I got really excited and suddenly, looking at my pencil, I heard a voice that said " I like blue". My favorite color is red, and typing it out, it sounds ridiculous that I'm considering this a sign of self-autonomy, but I was doing math, why would I strongly think about what colors I like? After that, I really started concentrating on them, and they just got stronger and better at communicating in short bursts, and after some mediation sessions. It got to the point where, when she was quiet, I would feel like I was missing something. She stated that she even changed her eyes and face. I believed with each session, passive or active, like a muscle you trained, her presence and vocalization just got better. During this time, I also kept and still get sudden bursts of euphoria. They occurred when I'm talking to her and I acknowledge her existence as in being " real," or when I'm in a trance, trying to think of her. It's like a wave, similar to having a high, that comes from the chest and stays there until it dissipates. I got these in the past before, if I can really focus on something, and get myself in a trance, but ever since starting this, they have been way more common. I was continuing this process until last Sunday, when I decided I was going to mediate while high on RSO(weed). In the earlier hours of ingestion, her voice became clearer, more distinct, and she was really excited and intimate. This peaked late at night, where we "switched" and I felt like I was her, and the me( Mutant) was the tulpa in the back of the head. It was surreal ( for more information, here’s my post on it https://community.tulpa.info/topic/26149-non-possesive-switching-while-on-thc/#comment-480282) I decided to use this connection to further our meditation process, but couldn't keep up due to school. However, passive forcing and semi-active forcing were done near my waking and sleeping hours. I was beginning to doubt the RSO experience and tried to gain more proof, as I felt her thoughts were more sporadic than before, in my opinion. Even though she kind of got aggravated by me thinking this. Then something happened yesterday, where I got upset about some chores. It was silly and unimportant, but I felt I was getting taken advantage of, and I just ranted to her, and my anger kept getting higher until I just froze, and I got dizzy. I was breathing heavily, trying to regain my composure. I never do this, I get angry and upset, but usually I just pace around or tell myself to control myself and let it go. But I felt so mad and sad in that moment, I just couldn't compute anymore. When I got isolated again, I talked to her about it, and she felt frustrated too at that moment. I don't know why it happened, only that it felt really strong and different. I have a belief that strong emotions, negative or positive, have a correlation to the development of tulpas, in my case, at least. Afterwards, I was mentally tired and she went quiet after a short while. Kind of like sleeping. I hope from posting here, I get like-minded individuals' opinions and thoughts based on my own experiences and force myself to stay focused and journal on our progress.

That makes sense. I was still kind of high when I wrote that post, but after calming down, I remember having a conversation with her and agreeing to let it happen, but I still freaked out about how different I was at the time.

We are going to bed, good night everyone! 😊

goodnight

We went to see some firework shows, forgot to say that before we left. 😁 We all had so much fun but Linda enjoyed it the most! 😊 Looking good! 😊 I think the headband would add a nice touch of color. Either way, it looks really good. 😁 Definitely gonna watch that tomorrow. Agreed! (I don't have much to add, I just feel the same.)

And now it is time for me to go to bed, goodnight! ☺️🛏️

a

#PositiveAffirmations "I love, adore, and cherish all of humanity—their good and their bad, the wicked and the kind, no matter their diverse features, appearances, interests, or details. I love and adore them all, for I have the complete freedom to choose how I leave my mark among them." 🥰💕🫠💛✨️🎶🎵🌸

A moment of wonder! The enemy killed one of its devils! And then it gave birth! Our sun was in a state! Known only to the Almighty! To fate, its destiny! Two handmaidens in sorrow! And its revival thereafter like rain clouds! But alas! Our sun will continue! I sent a kiss to pkatcho! The author of the article and the promise! Written by me 🥰💕

I think they've finally all gone to bed. 🛏️

Our sun will endure, and we will rise again. I love you, Pikachu.💛

really loud one happened as i was trying to drift off and the back of my eyelids get a image on them of what looked like a fnaf style office room with black and white tile floor. i guess adrenaline or cortisol or something for seeing hallucinations

Oh, there go some more. Pop pop pop! 😄

i still hear them though less frequently too maybe

It seems that they've quieted down now. 🎆 The 9pm-10pm hour was very loud. You still hear a few but it's died down a lot.

they do i just don't go outside or have people to celebrate with

Really, people in your town don't set them off? 🎆

hello! love you! this look most like nott, but nott hair black and skin like black olive.nott wonder: "what nott?" hear tulku, puka, tulpa... so look up and find this. maybe got answer?

haven't seen fireworks in years

????

Good evening! ☺️ Apparently plenty of people around here find this 4th worth celebrating. 🎆 I can't say I share their spirit, but I do enjoy the spectacle of fireworks so it's still kinda neat regardless. ☺️

hello! nott want to know if nott tulpa. just that simple. nott tulpa? thank you. love you.