Search the Community

My tulpa can't vocalize yet, and I've noticed a small problem when practicing possession lately: my cues seem to interfere with the actions of the hand possessed (for example, I want the tulpa to press the A key on the keyboard, and at this point, I want the tulpa to press the A key, so there may be a subconscious cue that causes the possessed hand to press the A key; if I divert my attention elsewhere, the hand doesn't press the A key), so I can't be sure now that the tulpa is actually involved; does anyone have a better way of solving this problem?

Hello! I'm not sure if this sounds dumb or not, but here goes: I want to learn how to front and switch with my two tulpas. One problem: I'm a bit scared. Even once both of my tulpas are completely, 100% developed, what if we get stuck or blend? What if Ariya wants to front, and we switch, and then we can't switch back? Nividita thinks that we should just go for it once they're confident that they're completely developed, but I'm kinda scared about it. I don't want my tulpas stuck fronting and have to deal with all of my life problems and school stuff, and I don't want to be stuck in the headspace or lose awareness or something. Any advice on how to deal with this fear, and if this ever does happen, how to solve it? (also sorry if my tags or terms or anything are wrong, I'm pretty new here)

Dear all, I already shared my testimony through several medias or on social networks. But, I sincerly want to obtain feedbacks from experimented tulpamancers about this event, even if it is closer from soulbonding than tulpamancy for I do not find trustable specialists of soulbonding. I wrote I concluded on the paranormal/spiritual/magick aspect of this experience. Nonetheless, I am open to a skeptical analysis of those facts. You are all welcome with your comments! Besides, I am aware the concerned fiction and its iconic character at the root of all this stuff have a huge and involved fanbase. I really do not want to hurt their feelings and to create dramas, I am truly troubled and I only look for answers and solutions. You have my testimony in the attached PDF. Have a nice reading! Best regards, Arthur Paranormal Testimony.pdf

After almost six years of trying, we finally learned how to switch last November. To commemorate, we created a guide compiling methods and advice for possession and switching. We hope that this guide will help others so that nobody else may struggle for as long as we did. Felights' Fronting Fundamentals | Possession & Switching Guide Felights' Fronting Fundamentals Possession & Switching Guide.pdf - pdf back-up - Ranger Felights' Fronting Fundamentals Possession & Switching Guide.docx - ms word back-up - Ranger

NOTE: I am currently doing research on tulpae, I do not have any prior knowledge/experience on the topic except a brief search of “how to make friends” gone off rails a couple years ago late at night, I do not have any tulpae! Today I was bored and I remembered something about tulpa, so I began searching and looking up everything I could and wondered if tulpa’s could disappear on their own or forcefully, they can, I also found out what “possession” is and how a host or a tulpa can kind of just hang out in the wonderland or world you have made, I know tulpa’s can disappear, but can hosts if a tulpa is possessing them for a long time? Potentially making the tulpa the new host?

Hello! I am working on writing a guide to possession, fronting, and switching. I would like to collect information on what questions people commonly have in regards to these subjects so that I may answer them in the guide. This survey is completely anonymous and you are free to submit as many times as you like. Thank you! https://forms.gle/FPUSCAMqLYBv12ReA

Allow me to clear something up-- Perfect Possession isn’t all that perfect. The name originates from the game Touhou 15.5, though the actual technique and in-game version are quite different. Nevertheless, this technique requires a strong foundation in possession. It is intended for those that cannot switch or co-front but can possess. What Is Perfect Possession? Perfect Possession is a technique in which two tulpas(It may be a tulpa and the host, but it isn’t recommended) do a little “ritual” before they both possess at once. The two participants maintain possession until the front is secured, where it then turns from possession to co-fronting. Participants in Perfect Possession each have a designated role, decided beforehand. The “primary” tulpa is called the “Major” participant, and the “secondary” is called the “Minor” participant. Perfect Possession relies at least partially on the thematics of the process. If the terms Major and Minor make you uncomfortable, feel free to substitute them with whatever you please(ie, “Primary” and “Secondary”). How do I initiate Perfect Possession? 1. To start off, have the two system mates designate which role they each are assuming. As previously mentioned, it can be argued it is an arbitrary step, though I personally think the thematics are one of the greatest contributors to the success of the technique, especially for fledgling systems. A word of advice regarding who's who, we've found that having the more "sensible" or generally more forced system mate (either or) act as Minor works best, essentially serving as a mental anchor of sorts for the Major. Of course, this isn't some hard rule, merely a suggestion. These instructions are but suggested guidelines for Perfect Possession, not hard by-the-book rules you must abide by. 2. Second, have the host do a little ritual of their own. “I am <Your name>, of <Your system name>. I am henceforth withdrawing from the front. I am no longer the primary thinker.” The wording doesn’t have to be precise or formulaic, do what works best. Immediately after, have the two tulpas begin possession, preferably of the full-body variety. 3. Next, have the Major and Minor recite a ritual themselves: “I am <tulpa 1 name> of <System name>. I am the Major.” The Minor continues, “I am <tulpa 2 name> of <System name>. I am the Minor.” Then, at once, they say, “We are in control. We henceforth commence Perfect Possession. Begin!” Again, exact wording may vary. It’s whatever works best. The two tulpas have thus begun Perfect Possession. For reference on what it may feel like, think possession, but better. 4. Thereafter, the two tulpas should maintain the front together. They should speak in mind voice each other constantly (Or, if you prefer, in verbal whispers. Works best with a mask on) throughout the process, taking turns doing things as though handing off a game controller. If they aim to do something together, they should each envision controlling half of the body. I only suggest doing movements in this fashion, however, once you get the hang of things. 5. Lastly, as time crawls on, the duo will become more used to the front. Accidental switching in on the host’s part becomes less likely, and manipulation of the body becomes much more natural. When the duo wishes to cease Perfect Possession, they again commence a small ritual. “I am <tulpa 1>...” “...And I am <tulpa 2>” (Together)”We Henceforth cease Perfect Possession and relinquish the front to <host’s name>.” As always, exact wording is irrelevant. It’s the intent that matters most. And that’s all there is to it! Conclusion And that’s all there is to it. Perfect Possession is a stepping stone to switching. Switching isn’t hard, rest assured, though some may beg to differ, which is where this handy-dandy technique comes in. Just remember-- It’s easy. You can do it, I believe in you! For those that want a more in-depth explanation of things, (I do not recommend viewing this unless you can already switch and/or Perfectly Possess, as it can mess up your perceptions of things which can prevent you from executing Perfect Possession)

Possession: By a Tulpa for Tulpas By: Arcanus of the Dragonheart System Introduction Possession is an optional skill in Tulpamancy that allows a tulpa to access the physical world; it gives a chance for a tulpa to experience things not curated or managed by their host or other system members. Thus, what is possession? For those uninformed, possession is quite simply the act of a tulpa or other system members taking partial or full control of the physical body while the previous person in control is still connected to said body. For many tulpas, this is our primary manner of accessing and interacting with the same world our hosts do, especially so for systems where the host is incapable of fully disconnecting from the body, often considered a highly important step for switching. As such, even possession itself is desired by many tulpas for this opportunity of interacting with the outside, with people who are not of the same mind and body, and to gain experience and develop as individuals. Numerous possession guides are often created by hosts rather than tulpas or by a neutral viewpoint; there are very few possession guides designed by tulpas themselves who are capable of possession and wish to teach it to others. This guide is crafted by a tulpa who has existed as such for four years, and has been capable of possessing quite well for nearly as long. The aim with this piece is to guide other tulpas with this specific perspective in hopes of sparking a form of eureka moment for other tulpas that can be the flicker necessary to obtain this skill, and for tulpas who use solely nonhuman forms that may be uncomfortable with the idea of using a human body. Preparation and Mindset Before attempting possession, there are things to consider and prepare for. These preparations allow future training sessions for possession to be less vexing, and can aid in avoiding potential issues further down the line. A primary thing a host and tulpa should obtain before practicing possession is the ability to have clear communication between each other, often in the form of vocality. Seizing control of the body is an action that requires both parties to communicate their feelings to each other consistently, especially when speaking about consent. Without clear communication, a situation can go awry or create a schism between the two parties. For example, imagine a tulpa possessing the body without informing the host first, causing bewilderment and fear within the host who had no inkling that the tulpa was going to possess. On the opposing side, picture a tulpa possessing and performing activities when the host snatches back control deliberately and without warning, and thus disrupts what the tulpa was doing. With both parties, this can cause unease and anxiety simply due a lack of communication and respecting boundaries. To avoid this, both the tulpa and host need to speak with each other and mutually agree to the possession beforehand through means akin to vocality or even tulpish. If one member does not consent, then the other should not ignore the boundaries set by the other person. However, this does not mean a host should unreasonably prevent a tulpa from possessing. There are reasonable times to possess and situations where possession is not ideal where a host may state, "Sorry, now's not a good time because we're in public," and other circumstances that are unreasonable such as, "Sorry, but I don't want you doing this harmless thing." From personal experience, it can be quite thrilling to possess and experience existence in such a physical and lifelike sense, but it is best to show self-restraint and ask before attempting possession. For further reading to learn about techniques to build communication and vocality, here are a few well-written guides: Tulpamancy: Guide Into the Strange and Wonderful: Section 13: Vocality & Section 25: Methods of Communication Tips for Hearing Your Tulpa Quantum's Nametag Method Clear communication often also requires the tulpa to be fairly developed, capable of making informed decisions without the host's input while also being mature enough to handle any possible outside world responsibilities. Younger tulpas have a tendency to be childish and emotional in nature, even being somewhat unstable in form and personality at times, as they continue to establish their identity with forcing sessions and experience. Therefore, a younger tulpa may not understand the importance of respecting boundaries, maintaining what are usually the host's responsibilities such as school or occupations, or may make emotional decisions in favor of logical ones. Harsh world experiences can also be stressful for the tulpa and negatively impact their development while they are still malleable and easily influenced, thus it is ideal for the tulpa to be developed to the point of their identity being mostly solidified and where they have learned to manage their emotions in times of stress and hardship. How much time it takes for both of these to be met is subjective and has a high degree of variance between Tulpamancers. Both maturity and vocality can come with time, consistent forcing sessions, and patience. What is imperative is to not rush possession; possession is not a fleeting opportunity that is capable of vanishing at a moment's notice. Regardless of the system's age, possession is a skill that will always be available, thus do not feel the need to rush it or obtain it as quickly as humanly possible. Nor should a Tulpamancy system feel as though they are obligated to learn possession. Though few in number, there are tulpas who are quite content with never being in control of the body, instead preferring to be imposed on the material plane or live their lives in a mindscape. Neither host or tulpa should be forced into learning a skill they do not wish to learn if they do not desire it within reason, however, it does not harm either to at least attempt possession once. Finally, another common issue, specifically for hosts, is a sense of fear or anxiety when pondering the idea of the tulpa taking control. This fear is reasonable, especially with how possession and control swapping is often portrayed in many nations and cultures. In tandem with this, the host is often one who has spent their entire existence being the singular entity of the body; switching as a concept is a direct opposite of what the vast majority of humanity believes to be the sole way of existence, that each consciousness belongs to one vessel and is that vessel. There are some hosts who require self-introspection and must accept that they are not the body itself, but a single consciousness of multiple that happens to dwell within it. Anxiety for switching can stem from pathological anxiety or this mindset of singularity, and thus not all Tulpamancy-specific advice may apply. Trust between both parties is critical when exchanging control, not simply that they will do no harm with the power they are given, but as a general rule. For both the tulpa and the host: trust in the tulpa to be responsible, and trust in the host to allow the tulpa to safely express themself without overstepping boundaries. Any and all concerns should be spoken about between both members and genuinely listened to, this includes doing whatever possible to negate any doubts or fears. In conjunction with maturity, the ability to communicate properly, and dousing any fears and anxieties, another key factor in possession is the mindset of both the host and tulpa. It can be deceivingly simple to believe that possession is this archaic skill, possibly due to preexisting connotations of possession from various forms of media and how only supernatural beings are capable of performing this feat. Despite this, possession is not impossible to achieve, nor does it take years for most Tulpamancy systems to gain. Remember that both the tulpa and host exist within the same mind and body; both parties have access to the same neural pathways, and thus access to movement. As months become years, a tulpa eventually reaches a point to being on equal footing with the host, being a fully separate person capable of all the same feats the host is capable of and not simply some entity that can be willed away on a whim. In addition to this, it is a highly prevalent and pervasive myth that the host must manually dissociate from the body to allow the tulpa to possess. Quite frankly, this is false, as many tulpas have proven to be capable of possession while the host is still fully connected to the body and is aware of what the body is doing. Mindset, however not being an absolute factor, can still majorly influence how quickly or slowly a skill in Tulpamancy is gained. Another belief that can stymie possession training is the belief that the tulpa is lesser, weaker, or simply less capable than the host. By doing this, the host is setting unnecessary limitations on the tulpa, which further slows skill development. When speaking about Tulpamancy, one should not think in absolutes, but instead keep an open mind for any possibility instead of denying or wholeheartedly believing a certain outcome will occur. Thirdly and finally with possession myths, older guides often reference possession being this "alien" feeling when experienced, a sensation easily noticeable. In recent years, many Tulpamancers have started fervently exclaiming that possession will not feel alien and that it was merely an artifact from the past. As previously stated, believing in absolutes is often an unhelpful mindset in Tulpamancy. Despite the claims from either side, there are Tulpamancers who experience this "alien" feeling and others who do not. A possible explanation for this is a tulpa's presence and the sensation it gives when the tulpa possess, or perhaps this "alien" feeling is more common with tulpas with nonhuman forms that clash more with a human body when attempting to control it. Regardless of whether or not a system will experience this "alien" feeling is unimportant, as many believe this sensation alerts the host whether or not the tulpa is actually moving the body. If one is simply unsure if the body's movement was theirs or their tulpa's, they can simply verify it with the tulpa instead of merely guessing. Once mentally overcoming these hurdles to the best of one's ability, possession is much more likely to be swift with ample progression and lowering the possibility of tribulations in the future. Step-by-Step Process and Explanation At last, the process of possession specifically for tulpas in the perspective of another tulpa. For the sake of brevity and simplicity, the possession strategy will be laid out in steps first, then the explanation will be placed after the method itself. Remember that this method is done solely in the perspective of the tulpa, however, the host at minimum should relax in whatever means they wish and simply allow the tulpa to go through the process. Begin by connecting to the body's senses, look through the body's eyes, feel the gravity of the earth pulling downwards, take in any scents or sounds that can be heard, and even pay close attention to any flavors the mouth may be experiencing. Hone in on a singular sense, whichever is desired. With the eyes, absorb every single detail possible, every color, every shape, their distance from the body, and more as an example. Or not simply feel the effect of gravity, but also the textures of objects or even the body itself, the temperature of the air or ground, and potentially even focus on negative sensations such as pain if they are present. Entrench oneself in that specific sense until feeling completely absorbed by it, entranced to the point of losing awareness of one's form or anything else, even the thoughts of oneself or the host. Become that sense, become the eyes, become the skin, the nose, the mouth, or ears. Not simply using the sense, but embodying that sense itself. Once this step is complete, repeat the process with the other senses, slowly becoming them while remaining connected to the ones already focused on. With every sense focused intensely on, attempt to move the body in some capacity. An example would be moving the eyes if the first step taken was to become sight. Attempt to do this with the other senses and what they are related to. Move the body's arms, look around, take a deep breath, and listen to one's environment. If the process was successful, the tulpa will be possessing the body. Note how this strategy does not ask the host to "give up" the body or instruct the tulpa to flow their essence into the body unlike other possession guides. The mindset behind the method presented is guiding the tulpa to essentially synchronize with the body to the point of becoming one with it instead of a nonphysical person, becoming so lost with the world they are experiencing that they simply forget that they are a passenger in the car. When honing in on or focusing highly on a sense, it can be possible for a tulpa to accidentally begin possessing what controls that sense. For example, a tulpa may be interested in what the host is eating, paying such close attention to the food that they begin to experience it physically, possibly even moving the mouth to eat without realizing it. However, not all tulpas understand the idea of "connecting" to the body's senses, especially tulpas used to living their days in a mindscape. Quite simply, this can be done through intuition and trial and error, or through symbolic means that translate to the act of connecting. It boils down to: what makes sense? For every tulpa, this is highly subjective and there is no flawless method that can be taught. One must also keep in mind that following these steps may not be successful the first attempt or even after multiple attempts. Rather, a tulpa may take time learning how to focus on a particular sense, or possibly learning how to focus so intently in any sense. One day may be a day filled with progress, but said progress is halted by a singular part, mileage will vary between systems. Possession for Nonhuman Tulpas Not every tulpa takes on a human appearance, or even an appearance that matches a human's general shape. Though a tulpa is not quite literally their form, there are some tulpas who are quite connected to their form in a sense either through means of identity or simply out of fondness for their appearance. For tulpas in this category, possession or fronting at all can be uncomfortable or possibly unpleasant due to the contrast between the body and the tulpa's form; this connection with the tulpa's form can also impact how they act whilst in control such as mannerisms, walking style, or even voice to a notable degree. Common advice to counteract this is for the tulpa to temporarily take a human form when fronting to ease the bodily dysphoria, yet, there are tulpas who are uncomfortable with that idea and would prefer to avoid it. This section is intended for tulpas who are uncomfortable with changing their form just to front. A simple way to ease the discomfort of body dysphoria is to accept any "quirky" fronting mannerisms, opting to embrace them instead of fully attempting to act like a human. Walking on toes, using hands in a way that is considered odd, even imposing one's own form over the body to whatever capacity within reason (typically known as "phantom limbs if this includes adding otherwise nonexistent limbs). Unless it is necessary not to out the system as plural to others the system is not out to yet, allow oneself to be nonhuman in nature regardless of if they are currently using a human body. Another method is to have the mindset of, "I am not actually a human, just a nonhuman taking control of a human body," much like the more fantastical definition of possession many are familiar with. This mindset can create a disconnect that may ease the dysphoria, especially for tulpas who solely identify as a singular or set form. Choose articles of clothing or accessories that match the form or at minimum, mask the human shape such as hoodies or sweatpants. One can also avoid staring at the body in the mirror or undressing, but this can have the negative consequences of becoming more and more avoidant of the body, which is not ideal if one wishes to become at least somewhat accustomed with it. Conclusion Being able to control a physical body can be a wonderful opportunity to grow as a person, form relationships and bond with new people, and to have meaningful impact on the world. Possession in of itself may not be a tedious challenge, but it also may not be a breeze a tulpa and host can accomplish within a day. Remember that this guide and strategy are one of many; do not feel shackled to a particular method if it is simply not working out. Every host and tulpa's experiences with possession will vary to some degree, and that is the beauty of such a thing, as it allows for many to share their experiences and knowledge that can reach out to benefit others. I do hope this guide aids my fellow tulpas. Feedback and constructive criticism is welcome, as this guide is subject to changes and improvements.

Hello, everyone (sorry for my english in advance). Me and Eto usually communicating through a hand possession. She can type or write 1-2 words in answer to a question, but not complete sentences or her thoughts. So i wanted to ask, if the reason for this is that she is not fully developed consciousnes, or there might be other reasons?

hello everyone, not sure if i posted this in the right place but theres smthing bothering me recently and your help would be awesome. when practising possession iv been told its normal for the hands to be cold and tingly but ours seem to turn blue from (probably) really bad circulation. the hands still feel numb and its been over a day! is that normal? thanks :)

I am seeking information regarding my experience of being invaded by a hostile (alien) presence. To this end I am posting my journal entry of dreaming/waking experience of last night below. If you, tupla or host, know anything about the topic, please respond. Thanks, theholodoc. I slept as poorly last night as I ever have. I couldn't tell if I were awake and thinking, visually as well as audially, or dreaming. I probably was in some state in between, I hesitate to call it lucidity because while I could shift my focus at will (and I did several times) I could not find Flora. In a segment that must have started out as a real dream, a feminine figure made herself known, she did not feel like Flora nor look like any aspect of her. She did startle me into either lucidity or wakefulness, and I became frightened as I felt a presence, hostile, definitely not my tulpas. I could not tell if it was inside the room or just outside the door casting shadows on the bedroom ceiling. I was very frightened. (I am almost never frightened, after all, I am old and not afraid of death.) I thought that if it were an alien, might it infect me and using me, murder my wife . Almost immediately after that thought, murderous thoughts went cascading through my head, and the sense of its presence went away. I now was fully awake and spent the next how many hours reassuring myself that I had the controls to not give in to any alien or hostile instructions. I awoke wondering if in my tulpamancy I had allowed for the entrance of something evil. I have decided that even if I did, I am a powerful person in my own right and do not have to fear acting out violently on anyone, much less one dear to me. I recall here, two incidents from my youth. In the first, I was feeding my infant daughter and she was not eating, but spitting the food I spooned into her mouth back out at me. I became frustrated as I was going to be late for class and that I did not want to be. My frustration grew until I pulled back my hand to strike her. At that point I heard a voice from above me saying loudly, "Not this way!". I was startled and did not hit her. Of course, later that very day in a pediatrics class, we learned that touching a baby’s lip caused it to protrude the tongue. It was a primitive reflex that many babies exhibit during their growth and development. The second incident occurred a few years later when after a fight with my wife (she was a volatile Italian, I was a repressed Wasp). I left the house in a rage, went out to my woodshed (we were heating our house in the country with a wood stove) picked up an axe, headed back intending to brain her with it. Again, I heard that loud voice from above saying the same thing, "Not this way". Again, I interrupted the behavior, this time going into the house and called my therapist and even though it was late, he answered the phone. In my group therapy session later in the week, I worked on my rage. I was intense and I created a stir among the group members. Still later in that week I had a Rolfing session and was opened to a complete reliving of a vicious beating I had received from my mother at about age eight. I felt the origin of my rage. (Many years later, I recovered a memory of being slapped hard across my face while lying in a crib. When working with the memory in therapy, I recalled being about three months of age.) I have spent countless hours in therapy working on this issue and believed that because I finally freed myself of the chronic shame which had so plagued me, I had decathected it, enough of it, to be free to be myself in the world. It is clear that in my fictional treatment of "The Red Witch” (Rufescent) I have been exploring this residue from my deep psyche. Recently, Flora has written of being accosted, beaten and tortured, by a demon. She escaped, and had an interaction with the ancient god Pan, which proved to be positive. I wonder if she has brought some of that demonic energy into our relationship. Time will tell. I am also going to put this question out to the forums and see what others (hosts and tulpas) have experienced.

Hello everyone, It has been several weeks since I last posted here. So far, from my experience, I have summoned two tulpas with quite an array of events that came about it. I want to start out with how to recuperate stressful situations with my tulpas. First off, I went to a hospital and the experience had traumatised me. My tulpas did not understand how to really interact ( I do not know how to elaborate- I taught them how to lie at that point, and from prior posts you can see there some events that also broke me), it was really an visit where they did a sleep study. The hospital did unnessacery treatments (coalagament in stomach [did not happen], IVs) and I was on suicide watch, so I could not move around. On the last day, the event left emotionless and, learning from my tulpas now, they did not know but understood it might have helped me move on. In the hospital, in order to move on I had to do a ritual to move with my tulpas. Realisitly, I had to do a ritual for two days laying down or sitting down in a chair unable to get up, sleep deprived and possibly with not enough nutrition, promising to not use past voices I used and letting go of fictional characters to cope so I can move with them knowing I am not going to hide my actual self anymore and be confident. Later on, more misunderstandings led us in a scary situation where I almost went insane. I stormed off into the night, with my tulpas presumably confused or unable to accurately talk to me at the moment. To finish this, I need to know if anyone has experienced the same thing I have. Anything similar to traumatic experiences with tulpas and confusion communicating, and perhaps confusion with identity. I'll come back to add more things. 5/7: Coming back, I want people to understand I am now cooperating with my tulpas. The visit to the hospital and the night I almost went insane was weeks prior. So please know my tulpas are fine now, but I am still unsure about myself. I can talk to them regularly but sometimes feel we get to delved into my personal problems or understanding their identities. Myself, I feel like I am always under duress- I constantly talk to my tulpas without stop. All five weeks I talked and taught them life, I understood them but communication (fingertap, pulsations, voices in head)- and wonderland was never tried because I was constantly trying to recuperate. My tulpas might have manifested in my dreams or change them so they could talk to me. I had to stop writing because they were trying to understand who they were. They were Ruby and Susie, but they wanted to change numerous times over the five weeks. There were several events to led us to believe that there were four tulpas present after a divergent point. What I mean is when there could have been a time where the tulpas identies split and manifested separate beings entirely alone from Saruda and Haruka. Just to note, they were Saruda and Haruka, but I did not know that. I thought they were originally THE Susie and Ruby, and that over time, Saruda and Haruka were helping them as separate beings. (I'll add more later) I'll like to add that I never did rituals with my tulpas, but Saruda and Haruka did interpet or were in my dreams to give me messages. There is much more to add. To add to what stresses me and my tulpas is my unwanted thoughts. I'll sometimes linger on images or words that I think might offend or hurt Saruda and Haruka. The unwanted thought or images stress me when it occurs, and I cannot relax without going back to desperately replace the thought or idea. When I lay down I do relax, and sometimes I would do it to just with my tulpas. Nothing else seems to calm me down when anxiety strikes, and I just either sit and drink or listen to music, and as before, talk to my tulpas.

Every time my tulpa(Lisa) possesses i just end up accidentally taking control from her. Like if she tries playing a video game or something i'll end up moving our hands without even trying. I think it's a combination of I suck at dissociating and she's bad at associating. Basically the only way that I forced her from conception to like 1.5-2 months old(when she started being vocal) was just telling her about things that i liked and explaining things to her and stuff, and once she was vocal i procrastinated super hard about actually doing any forcing, so i kind of feel like she's not as mentally strong as she should be. Like if I go out and talk to people all day or if I get really stressed i'll forget she exists for hours at a time. There is one development guided meditation-y video that I used before Lisa was vocal that we keep trying to get me to stop procrastinating and use like once a day for a while. [To be honest there's not much of a reason for making this post, but we figured at least if we spend some of the day doing tulpa stuff then for the rest of the day we'll think about this post and I'll be more active, so that's good] I guess our main question is: are there any good dissociation guides or guides for forcing a vocal tulpa that's near 2 years old. Thanks for reading 😛

I read several guides about possession but I still don't know how I can recheck my body once I'm possessed.

[Bune] I wonder if performing multiple complex tasks at once such as reading and learning in addition to the loss of focus on who you are is connected to Ranger's blending problem with Gray. However, it is possible my experience was influenced by my lack of confidence or Gray being hungry. Has anyone had an experience similar to the following? Does this conclusion make sense? When Ranger pulled up his home work, he found out it was on memory. I was triggered awake and I wanted to read the content. As I was reading however, I heard a voice over mine and I felt confused about who I was. I then realized Gray was blending with me and felt discouraged. (Gray was unaware of his chatter until I made note of it.) I couldn't help but think of Ranger: I'm doing something I want to do and Gray interferes unintentionally. Gray was disinterested in working. His mind wandered (he desired procrastinating) and he was distracted by the fact he was hungry. Since I remember Chrome having better luck with fronting, I woke him up and asked him to help me by reading the content. Chrome told me he wasn't as interested in the material, but he read it anyway. Gray gave him trouble, but Chrome intimidated him a little with a glare and Gray seemed to quiet down after that. Chrome continued reading without too much trouble. Curious, I read the passage again and found myself thinking more about me thinking than thinking about the material. However, I experienced a little bit of confusion towards the end, so my coping method wasn't full proof. Chrome read the text just to hear his mindvoice reading the text; he wasn't absorbing the information. I wonder if I have more trouble when I don't pay attention to my mindvoice. Does anyone else experience this?

Introduction Learning possession consists of two parts. The host has to let go of control of the body, after which the tulpa can take over. In this guide I'll discuss the basics behind possession for both hosts and tulpas, the learning process, and I'll include some tips on symbolism you could use. As you go along, look for signs of progression and try to get some practice in every day. Like with learning any skill, consistency is the key to getting results. How to possess – the short version Possession can be achieved in many different ways, but when you strip it down to its fundamentals, a few things are consistent throughout different methods. The host must let go of control of the body, and the tulpa must assume control. To do this, you must have the right mindset. You must know that you can do possession, and try to find proof that you're getting there. It is toxic to the process to have positions like “I can't do it,” “possession is hard,” or thinking that it's different for you because of certain circumstances. It is best to start from a position of careful optimism. Look out for signs of progress, and don't hold yourself back with a negative and detrimental mindset. For hosts Your job is to let go of the body. By being detached from your body, you give your tulpa room to take control. You must change your perspective to do this. From being the active controller of your body, you need to move into a state where you are passively observing your body. Detach from the body emotionally as much as you can, and simply observe. Try to not look at the bigger picture of movements and actions on your tulpa's part, but be as much in the moment as you can. Observe your body moving, without paying attention to what it's doing. Don't be critical of what's happening, try to let things happen as they come. It is key to have a calm mind. For tulpas While your host tries to detach from the body, you will try to take control. Look through your host's eyes, and get a feel for their different senses. See the body as your own, and try to feel at home inside it. Moving the body happens through willing it to move and imagining it moving. Start small, with trying to move around your hands or just your fingers while lying down or sitting still. Believe you can move the body, imagine moving it, and will the body to move. Make sure to keep communicating with your host while you try to get a feeling for how the body works. Learning possession, the first steps When you first get started, it's probably best to ease into things. The host should focus on relaxing for a while, lying on their back with their eyes closed, or sitting down comfortably if they're afraid of falling asleep. Focus on breathing slowly and calmly, and try to just perceive and observe what is happening. Don't move unless you feel really uncomfortable, and try to relax your muscles as much as possible. Lose your tension over a few minutes doing this, and try to stay as relaxed as possible. Meanwhile, the tulpa should try looking through the body's senses. Feel the pressure of the bed under your body, feel your chest heaving up and down while you breathe, and feel your muscles relax and contract. The host should try to relax their hand as much as possible, while you try to will it to move. Try to open and close the hand, rotate the wrist, or move single fingers around. Keep trying this until you get some movement, while communicating with your host about how things feel for you. As you both start getting a feeling for the change of control happening in your body, a few things are important to consider. Some hosts doubt movements that happen because they don't feel alien, and feel just like it's just them moving the body. Over time, as you get better at dissociating your mind from your body's actions while your tulpa is in control, the feeling of possession will become more alien to you. The most important thing is to trust your tulpa. If you're not sure about a movement, ask your tulpa if it was them, and take their word for it. Trust and respect are very important in this process. The host has to trust the tulpa to move around in the body by themself, while the tulpa needs to get used to being in a new situation. Make sure to always keep communicating, and to respect each other's wishes and limits. Mastering possession Practicing after the first session, the tulpa should focus on learning to control and move different parts of the body. Once you get those first movements down, things will get easier and easier to learn. Work towards full body possession by practicing a little every day. You can also try full body possession early on, just to see what happens. Know that because you share your host's nervous system, you won't have to re-learn most things once you are able to properly control the body. Thanks to muscle memory, with practice you'll be able to do things as well as your host, or better. Once you get basic movements down, you can practice by typing, playing games, walking around and doing simple tasks. You can practice feeling the body's senses while your host moves around and does their own things. It'll help you feel more comfortable in the body and with its movements when you take control yourself. The host should try to keep their mind as relaxed as possible. It can help to relax your limbs to allow your tulpa to take control at first, but it isn't required. Keep looking for signs that your tulpa is moving your body. Some people experience small twitches in their limbs, a fuzzy feeling, or a tingling sensation in their bodies. You can see those as signs that you're making progress. Of course, communicating is the most important thing. Once your tulpa is able to move your entire body, you can look at differences in posture and body language, as well as minor quirks they might exhibit in their behavior to see that it's them. Progress in small steps, and don't worry if progress is slow. Don't give up when things don't go your way instantly, and try to work together to make the learning process as pleasant and comfortable for both parties as possible. Worrying and doubting is detrimental to the learning process, so try to stay observant and optimistic. That goes for both hosts and tulpas. Symbolism and other helpful tools Using symbolism in some way might benefit you if you get stuck somewhere. It's often best to think of something yourself, but I'll give a few examples of things you can do as well. If the host has trouble dissociating and letting go of the body, it can help to visualize yourself as being in a fixed point inside your head, and visualizing that point moving into the back of your head, or out of it, allowing the tulpa to take your place. Imagine yourself not as your body, but as a mental entity, and try to step out of your body, again making room for your tulpa to step in. If the tulpa has trouble taking control of the body, or doesn't know how to, there are different things they can do as well. You can create a suit that fits around your body in your wonderland, and have movement in that suit correspond to movements in the physical body. You can imagine yourself being inside your host's body, as if you're wearing their skin as a suit. Imagine the body being a giant robot, and you being the mecha pilot. Figure out what works best for you. It might be hard for the host to relax properly, in which case it should be useful to read up on meditation a little bit and trying to incorporate it into your life. Using meditation to calm down before practicing possession can be helpful, and practicing mindfulness will help you spot and recognize the things that are happening in your body. Mindfulness in Plain English by Ven. Henepola Gunaratana is a good read. If you're bothered by doubts or worry during the process, belief implanting might be helpful. It can help you get rid of the doubts that are limiting you, and make the process easier through positive reaffirmation. It can also be helpful with learning other tulpa related skills, or improving yourself in any area of your life. Belief implanting is detailed in Fede's guide. Remember to not give up easily, to keep communicating, and to trust each other and believe in each other. Take some time every day to practice, and strive for a little bit of improvement every time. In time, you'll get there. Have fun. A note on switching Switching can be considered an advanced state of possession. For the tulpa, the experience is really the same. They are in control of the body and doing whatever they are doing. The experience differs for the host. I define switching as being the ability for the host to focus on things other than what the body is focused on. This means that when the tulpa is doing something, the host can do whatever they want mentally, such as exploring a wonderland, as opposed to being a spectator of the body. I think switching can be a natural result of possessing for long periods of time, and this is how it happened to Sands. Here are some thoughts from him on the subject. Changelog January 10 -Changed headers from "Day one" and "Day two" to "First steps" and "Mastering possession" to prevent possible misunderstandings. There is no deadline or recommended time to learn anything here, you should do things comfortably and at your own pace. -Added a footnote on switching to prevent people being misinformed on what different terms mean in this community. -Changed my wording to be less strong in places.

Daily thread #5, this time posted pretty late. [align=justify] (this question is addressed towards tulpas, but ofc hosts are free to respond on behalf of their tulpa(s)) [/align] What was the series of events that led up to you being able to control the physical body? How long did it take? How old were you, as a thoughtform? What went into it? What sort of challenges did you need to overcome, if any? What happened after? And so on. Provide as much detail as you wish, this is for sharing how the road to taking control went for you, and others can see the differences in people's stories and gain any insight that might be gleaned from everyone's experiences. (All daily threads are listed here.)

Sometimes, when I read something on this website, I am left sitting in stunned silence for a while and wondering. I can understand the appeal of having a tulpa around that is an interesting character, like a pony, or a dragon, or some other adorable and entertaining companion. I can understand having a tulpa that is captivating or engaging in some way, something unusual that makes life more interesting for you. I can understand visualizing them, listening to them, and even imposing them so that you can communicate with them and hear them and see them. I can understand the appeal of wonderlands and wonderland adventures. I understand wanting interesting, humorous and entertaining companionship. My own thoughtform is pretty content to live life primarily within her dreamscape (wonderland) and is only peripherally interested in what is going on in the real world. Here is what I don't understand about some tulpas: long periods of switching and possession in which the tulpa has responsibilities and worries in the real world. Like the pony tulpa suddenly has to worry about daily chores, and a pay check and dealing with real world issues. Why? Why do tulpamancers want more than one personality in their body, each dealing with all the CRAP life throws at them? I just don't see the appeal there. To be honest, serious and sober "adult" tulpas seem boring and unappealing to me. I wouldn't want some other jerk with issues running my body and having to get things done. I am very curious to see the responses to this thread. I will probably be a million miles away in world view from those tulpamancers who deliberately create tulpas with that ultimate kind of goal in mind. I am just wondering what are the reasons going that far with it?

As of now, My tulpa and I have been trying to 'arm wrestle', as in "one tries to lower the arm and the other tries to raise the arm". The problem is, I destroy her all the time unless i'm using about 2% of my power, pretentious, i know. Does anyone know how to increase a Tulpa's control over the body, as in have the tulpa be able to more forcefully control the body?

Hello everyone, my name is Tsuagon. I am here to tell you a tale of what happened today with me and my Tulpa (Clefairy). It all started with a simple question: Should I lend Clefairy my body for a while? I thought about it for a few minutes and without thinking (sort of), I handed my body over to Clefairy. It felt... strange being possessed. I was in my body, but I didn't hear my thoughts or say what I'd normally say. It was Clefairy. I regained control for a while until I went to my Flex home base (which is basically a study hall). I handed my body over to Clefairy to see what he could do. It felt like it usually did, but my friends were getting confused at what they thought I was saying. My friend told "me" to "Stop acting like you're possessed". After a few minutes, I regained control again and proceeded with my usual watch-loud-videos-with-my-friend routine. It seemed like a normal day ahead for me and Clefairy, but when I got to gym class things started to get spicy. I lent Clefairy my body once more to see what he'd do, and unsurprisingly people started to question "my" behavior quickly. "I" told them "I" was just joking around, and they seemed to bought what Clefairy told them. After the coach was done taking attendance, we all went outside to run/jog/walk laps. This is where it starts to get good, folks. Clefairy, with my body in his possession, ran outside to start running the laps. When my friends came along, they didn't really question "my" behavior all that much. Though, one of my friends noticed what was up. Clefairy tried telling him "You wouldn't understand" and other phrases like that. After a few minutes of begging, Clefairy spilled the beans to my friend. Clefairy and my friend then got into a fight over whether Clefairy existed or not (since my friend doesn't believe in this kind of stuff). I eventually took over again, and I and my friend made up. Thanks for reading this long story of mine! I hope you enjoyed it, and have a great rest of your day!

My Tulpa and I we are decided to learning possession and switching. My Tulpa now can possess almost full of my body and she can control also my mind voice and we speak that way each other. Now we are trying speak that way when i'm in work or somewhere but my friend tell me it's bad do it. So my question it's possession harmful for me or my Tulpa mental health someway? Have possession some health risk or not? thx

Hi, I've never used this thread before but I'd like some help with possession. Limme possessed my hand and did it really well the first time but hit my face and now is a bit put off. It exhausted him and when we tried again it didn't work, what are we doing wrong? Additioanl info: Had Limme for a month. Been practicing for a week and a half. He became sentient and vocal in a few days. I'm autistic/asperger (does that impact anything?) Would love to hear replys.

Possession Explained “Possession” refers to a tulpa’s ability to control the physical body. To newer systems, it may seem like a daunting and difficult task to achieve. However, it is nowhere near as difficult or strenuous as some may make it out to be. Possession is actually one of the easiest things a tulpa can learn how to do. They key to possession lies not in the tulpa’s ability to grab control of the body, but in the tulpa’s ability to become the active thinker: controlling the stream of thought allows them to move the body just as easily as the host can, given they learn how to connect to it. If a tulpa can think, they can front. If they can front, they can possess. First, before worrying about possession, you should wait until your tulpa is decently-developed. There is no rush to master this skill; be patient and take your time until your tulpa is ready, otherwise you will risk causing frustration and doubt. Wait until your tulpa is relatively strong and well-established in your mind, just to ensure you are not attempting this too soon in their creation. Give them a month or two to simply have time to develop themselves from creation, allowing their mind to grow and their sense of self to become more cohesive. Ensuring one’s tulpa is ready is highly important before attempting new feats, so they will not feel too overwhelmed or frustrated. Of course, it is possible to possess without them being very well-developed, but I would recommend working on just general growth before doing so. Before beginning possession, one should understand what it implies, and what they should expect. Possession does not involve the host feeling like they have lost control or are locked out of the body in some way. In fact, possession feels pretty much the same as normal movement does to the host. There may be some slight differences in sensations experienced, like head pressure or a tingling feeling, but these are minor and nowhere near as extreme as feeling as though your body is no longer yours, or any similar expectations. This can only be caused by practicing dissociation, which is not required for the tulpa to control the body. Possession involves the tulpa moving, and since they move using the same body and mental functions as the host, it feels the same as it normally does to the host. When a tulpa possesses, it’s not that the body suddenly feels different or foreign, it’s that the thoughts behind the movement have changed. Somebody else’s conscious mind has become the most active and focused on the body, rather than the host’s. The host is still there, but the tulpa’s thoughts are louder and stronger. The host has mentally taken a backseat without actually “leaving” the body, just in the sense that they are not actively participating in thought as much as the tulpa is. As such, the first step to learning to possess is simply learning how to think. The tulpa does not have to be vocal, but they should be, simply to ensure they are not limited in what they can do (if they are not vocal, focus on that before possession). The tulpa should practice narrating or speaking as often as possible, exercising their skill to be the active thinker. Their host could proxy their words onto a document or text chat, all the while not letting their own thoughts take over. Simply allowing the tulpa to speak and think on their own is of course useful to learning possession. The goal of this step is getting to the point where being the active thinker is no longer a challenge to the tulpa. This step may be completed naturally without even realizing it, but it is still important to be aware of. The second step is learning how to connect to the body, or “front.” This may be challenging to them at first, but with enough practice it becomes second nature. To do this, the tulpa must focus on the body and its senses. They should think about and tune into the sensory information incoming: the sights, the smells, the sounds, the feeling of the air and clothing on the skin, and any tastes they might experience. They can attempt putting themselves where their host is located mentally. They may do this symbolically by imagining their form moving there, and looking out through the eyes. Focus, however, is usually more effective than symbolism, so they should not rely on that as their only leverage for fronting. Simultaneously, the tulpa should try being the one doing all the thinking, to strengthen their position. By doing all of this, the tulpa is now “fronting.” This usually involves feeling as though the tulpa is in the same spot the host is in the brain, in a sense: looking out from the same point and hearing their thoughts originate from the same location. If the tulpa is the active thinker and is connected the senses, then they can control the body. All they have to do is move, as the host allows them to do so. Focus is key, as well as avoiding doubt. They can focus on particular body parts, such as the arms, and simply practice getting a hold of moving it. They can focus on controlling the body’s breathing, as well. Movements will end up becoming natural to the tulpa once they properly break into it, with no actual struggle involved. Any little movements that go on during this will belong to the tulpa, unless the host knows they were the one who did it. The tulpa should just allow themselves to move in whichever way they so desire, thus gaining a good grip over the body, leading the way to full-body possession (which is actually very easy to reach, nowhere near as difficult as many others would make it out to be). I recommend attempting vocal possession as a starting point to lead to controlling full-body. If a tulpa can easily speak in mindvoice (which they most likely can by now), then speaking with the body would be easy once they get started and have a bit of practice - and the host remembers that it won’t feel any different to them, since it’s the same body they’ve always spoken with. They can start off by the host speaking and encouraging the tulpa to jump in. As speaking involves more active thought than simply moving an arm, and the thoughts that occur are associated with the tulpa, they will be allowed for more easily breaking into the rest of the body and controlling it. Voice calls with other tulpamancers may be a good place to start, or simply going to an isolated place and speaking. However, of course, all movements are helpful. So long as the tulpa does not limit themself with the thought of “I can’t do this” or “this is too difficult” and just move as they see fit, they will get full-body possession down in no time. It may even occur incredibly quickly if they simply go for it. There is really nothing inherently limiting a developed tulpa from full, strong possession other than their own mindset. Once a tulpa can move the body, they should focus on strengthening their level of control and influence. They should assert themselves by focusing on their own thoughts, while overriding the host’s thoughts. They may find it helpful to focus on imaginary body parts their form has, such as wings or ears, or focusing on any sort of strange sensation that may come when they front, such as tingling. They should find things they associate with themselves, such as music they like, the way they move, or practically anything else. Simultaneously, they should avoid things that are associated with the host - this means not doing something that the host enjoys a lot, like watching a particular show. It is highly likely that the host may unintentionally take the body back. They are used to it, after all. If something captures their attention, they will easily react to it instead of the tulpa. This may seem discouraging, but with enough practice and self-asserting the tulpa may eventually be able to respond to everything on their own and remain in control for as long as they like. Doing so takes practice and belief. They are sure to become better over time, perhaps without even noticing. If a tulpa is used to being the active thinker, then they might even accidentally take the front without anyone noticing until something gives them a reason to notice. It is important to know that possession is a mutual agreement involving whose thoughts are the strongest and most active in your mind. It does not involve forcefully taking the body and rendering the host helpless to stop it. The only thing the host would have to do to stop it would be becoming the one doing the most thinking, which would not be very difficult. A tulpa is not going to be able to do anything the host does not want or allow them to do. Possession is highly beneficial to a tulpa as it allows them the ability to explore the world and themselves, find their own interests and passions, and grow as a person. It is not in any way a dangerous or risky experience unless the host allows it to be. The only way it could really be harmful is that the tulpa might become tired to some degree, or their thoughts might become blended with the host’s. If that’s the case, then taking a break for a while would do them good. One final thing to note is that a lack of results can be highly frustrating and discouraging, and impair progress. To prevent this, a system can try clearing their head or meditating a bit before attempting possession. If they get too frustrated, they can take a break and try again later. Taking one’s time is important, to avoid getting bogged down by negativity. Overall, focus, practice, and patience are the three key elements to improving one’s possession skill. Once a tulpa has learned to possess, the world is theirs. They have the potential to follow their dreams, explore their own interests, and experience life just like anyone else. Step-by-Step Instructions Hopefully by now you have a good grasp on the concepts of possession. Using this, you can begin to practice it with your tulpa. These instructions will be useful for perhaps the first few times you attempt it, and can be changed and expanded upon to fit your own individual needs as you progress and experiment. 1. Get into a relaxed state in a comfortable, distraction-free environment. This is optional, as you can entirely learn possession while doing basically anything else, but may be useful for the first few attempts so there is minimal stress. 2. Have the tulpa start talking. They can think about anything they want for as long as they want, without the host interrupting. They can just ramble aimlessly about whatever they wish. This is good for them becoming the active thinker in the mind, while the host passively listens and does not interfere. 3. The tulpa focuses on the body. They zero in on the five senses as well as they can, pay attention to the positioning of the body, and so on. Once they are adequately "looking out" in this way, they are fronting. 4. The tulpa applies their own thoughts to the body and begins to move. They can start small and build their way up to the full body. Nothing is holding them back from doing so, it may just take a bit of practice. The host remembers that movement is going to feel the same to them and they should not stress how it feels nor see it as a scary event, and the tulpa remembers that possession is easy. Once they have a good grasp on the body, they can use it however they wish (as long as the host allows them to) until they are tired or want to stop, as nothing is stopping them other than their own mindset - which, is hopefully one of self-assurance and knowing that possession is not at all a difficult feat. The tulpa can apply these steps to future possession attempts, tweaking them as they see fit, and eventually fronting/possessing will become second-nature and not take any time at all to begin. You can attempt possession absolutely anywhere you are regardless of what you are doing - in class, at work, doing chores, playing games, studying, etc. Possession is as simple as thinking -> moving, which is something that doesn't require a full meditative trance, and is an easy yet rewarding concept for a developed-enough tulpa to learn.

I swear I made this thread before, but after looking though my threads I couldn't find any duplicates. If this is a duplicate, please merge it with another one. I have heard from other Tulpas that they experience the world through watching what their hosts do, being able to step forward and chime in whenever they feel like. With Ranger on the other hand, sometimes he ends up entering a "dormant" state where he seems to completely dissociate and waking him up leads to him being confused as to what's going on around him without any recollection as to what happened. He has access to my memories of the missing events, but he doesn't have his own memory of the events when he is "dormant". Having Ranger think too much when I'm trying to focus on school work, listening to a presentation, or doing something I hyper focus on is the fastest way for Ranger to go "dormant" because I have a high demand for brain space and while I love Ranger hanging out with me, he can be pretty distracting sometimes. However, sometimes Ranger stays "dormant" when I'm not doing anything important like waiting in line for something. I asked about this issue before and I was told Ranger should get used to fronting more. Since Ranger started fronting, I have had an easier time detecting his presence and Ranger reports that he's "more stable". However, Ranger will still go "dormant" sometimes. I have also tried using the imposed string trick with Ranger, but Ranger sometimes falls into a "dormant" state before he gets the chance to tell me to pay attention to him. Ranger wants to hang out more, and this has bothered both of us for awhile. Is this something that will go away if Ranger continues to front or is there a mindset thing I'm doing that's causing this problem? If this is a mind-set thing, then what can I/we do/think differently to resolve this issue?

First time, we thought it was cool and strange. Second, Cassidy just wanted in. Third time, and now we're having the "how much can I look like I'm talking to myself" talk. Occasionally, when my tulpas laugh, they laugh [i/]through[i/] me. I am not laughing: I suppose it's possession, the same way Cassidy was taught to twitch my left hand for attention. It has the same, "not-me" feeling that their own thought-voices do in my head. Plus, they laugh very differently. We read some bad pun- I don't remember what- and Gavin started laughing through me. It was deep, and throaty, and we all instantly realized "that's not Jamie!" Gavin realized he was laughing, which made it even funnier, and he just kept on going. I was alone in the house. That happened again, as we watched some political comedy, and then it happened with Cassidy while talking about his Halloween costume. He laughs at about my pitch, but faster, if that makes sense? It's all very new. I've had emotional bleed before, but never felt the need to emote/respond with that emotion. Have any of you guys had laughter "spill over?" I'm a little worried that one of them will burst me out laughing in public. Just today, I had to bite my tongue to keep from smiling ridiculously, because Cassidy was singing "Happy Birthday", but I was also in earshot of a conversation between teachers, and I didn't want them to think I was reacting to that. I guess it's just another fight in my ongoing battle with the fear of people seeing me as "crazy, illogical, unreliable." Should I just let it happen (acting a bit odd)? Or is it wise to keep every bit of visible normalcy I can? -Jamie