Something crazy just happened

[WhiiteRussian]

I gotta try this when I get time.

---

How many hours have you spent on the creation process so far?

[SolEvil]

It seems my tulpa changed some things in the wonderland while I slept. The couch and the bed look different than before, the couch is shaped different and has stripes and the bed is just a different shape. And she used to just stand around in the wonderland, but now she seems to spend her time sitting on the couch. She seemed to answer yes/no questions yesterday not long after I did this, but today she seems a little tired still and I've only gotten a few answers from her today. She can still travel to different areas without my help anymore though.

 

I tried doing this again just a while ago and I noticed a few things. I can't seem to get my tulpa to stay in a separate area while I concentrate now, she will sit next to me and just watch the ball. When I try to concentrate my emotions into the ball, I get a slight headache as soon as I start, and it makes it harder to keep focus. I still managed to keep it up for a couple minutes. When I placed the ball in my tulpa this time I got a slight falling sensation in my chest and a slight headache. Not nearly as intense as the first time.

 

I get the feeling that I put too much emotion into it last time, and that's why my tulpa wont leave me alone to work on it myself now. She seemed extremely exhausted afterwards and I had a pretty bad headache for over 10 hours until I got to sleep. My head is still throbbing even now though not nearly as bad as yesterday. So I'm guessing the more emotion you put into your tulpa the more of a strain it takes on the both of you.

[Sands]

Uhh yeah I kinda did some crazy bullshit to my tulpa with the mindset that this will totally help you and make things go fast. I never thought it would hurt, but apparently it did. He was in extreme pain and it's a big shock to see someone who is rather mellow and calm normally to suddenly look like that. That's why I usually go around telling people not to go too fast and let tuppers take their time and develop at their own pace. Encouraging is good, going too fast isn't, based on my experiences.

[SolEvil]

I may have went too fast but she is somewhat sentient now. Before she just stood around in my wonderland, but she is changing stuff in it now and can freely go between my different wonderlands. She doesn't seem to be in any pain now or then, just tired. And she doesn't seem to be against me doing this again, but I definitely won't do it like the first time, that may have been a little much.

[Malix]

Typical, I find a technique to help the tulpa become sentient, and I basically can't do it; I'm the emotional equivalent of a retard; Most of the emotion I've felt in my life is from the last month-or-so, from my tulpa. I'm going to this crazy thingy later today and she has to be excited for me =|

 

Gonna try it anyway though, just here's hoping I don't end up feeding her own emotions back to her again. Doubt it'd do any harm but it'd probably be useless.

[the wind listens]

It seems like the same thing that happened when I got my first tulpa response ever.

[WhiiteRussian]

Typical, I find a technique to help the tulpa become sentient, and I basically can't do it; I'm the emotional equivalent of a retard;

 

I know that feel.

---

I started trying to imagine my emotions going into the ball

 

How did you imagine emotions? Did you remember times you were happy/sad/angry and try to emulate the feelings? Did you see images that are typically associated with the certain emotions or what?

[SolEvil]

How did you imagine emotions? Did you remember times you were happy/sad/angry and try to emulate the feelings? Did you see images that are typically associated with the certain emotions or what?

 

 

Not exactly, I will try to be as descriptive as possible about everything that happened as I experimented with this. It will probably be pretty confusing, as it's hard to accurately describe. Also I'm not a very emotional guy, far from it actually. I just have a really easy time visualizing stuff like this, and am able to concentrate really well. I can easily clear my mind and block out everything around me while tulpaforcing.

 

Basically what I did was remember the time when I felt the emotion. I chose times when I was very happy, or just felt any really strong emotion that I consider to not be bad. Like sad/angry. I would get a feeling of the emotion, like around in my chest. I would then focus on this feeling and push the emotions up into my brain. It kind of felt like waves of emotion flowing into my head from my chest. It's hard to describe. The closest I can relate this feeling to is being high. A certain high you get where you start feeling waves go through your body, like after you smoke some dank weed or take some pain pills. While it wasn't nearly as intense as that, I could still feel it, if only slightly. You will have to try it to really get a feel for it to see what I mean. I basically got a feel for the emotion after I felt these waves and tried to emulate it, as in try to force myself to keep feeling it. I would forget about the memory and focus only on what I felt. I would change to different memories and repeat this as the feeling started to vanish after some time.

 

Before I explain further, I should point out that I imagine myself in my head sitting in an empty void. Not sure if many people do this anyway, but I thought I should point it out. I use this projection of myself sort of like a catalyst to move these emotions, and my projection held the ball between my hands floating in air. I then forced the emotion into the ball from my hands. I did this at the same time as what I explained in the previous paragraph. This may sound a little confusing, but it's as best as I can describe it. It's quite a few things to do at once.

 

As I did this the ball seemed to glow a faint blue, and as I poured in more emotion the ball would glow brighter. I could feel a sort of energy from the ball. After 5 minutes I brought my tulpa into the void from my wonderland. I stood up and pushed the ball into her chest/stomach. When I did this I saw many colors flash and a sort of lightning flow out around her. It did not last long either, and my tulpa seemed to glow a little reddish for a short time afterwards. I got a weird sort of falling sensation quickly shoout through my body, and a sharp headache at the same time. I brought myself and my tulpa into my wonderland.

 

I left her there again and repeated the same process for 10 minutes this time. It came a lot easier this time. I don't know why but it was incredibly easy to focus the emotions, doing exactly as I described. I was easily able to put a lot of emotion into the ball and it was glowing brightly. I started to hesitate as to putting it in my tulpa again, and just as I started having doubts she jumps into the void and straight into the ball out of nowhere.

 

I was in absolute shock this time, I didn't have time to really process what happened. I had a sensation of falling so intense all my senses went numb for a split second. The colors flashed very brightly this time and my tulpa glowed different colors. I got an extremely sharp and throbbing headache as well. I stayed in the void and held my tulpa. I really didn't know what else to do, it was such an intense feeling and took me by so much surprise. I worried for my tulpa, as she seemed to sort of convulse as I held onto her. I brought my tulpa back into my wonderland and left her lying on a couch. I still was looking at her with my mind's eye, but I just couldn't concentrate enough to keep my projection of myself in there She seemed to glow slightly but was completely still. The pain from the headache was too much to keep myself in there.

 

This is what happened shortly after she seemed to start to calm down. I started narrating and just asking her questions, to try and see if she was ok or not. I didn't think she would respond with any words, maybe a facial expression or something, but I felt alien thoughts that were not my own. Hard to describe exactly but I am sure it was my tulpa. They were scrambled at first but then she started to sort of talk. I asked her what she would like to be called an she replied 'Nola'. I asked this several times as it seemed muffled and seemed like she had trouble pronouncing it. But after a few attempts it was clearly 'Nola'. She actually answered several yes/no questions during the few hours after this. I asked her things like if what I did hurt her. Basically from what I gathered it was very shocking for her but it did no harm. About 3 hours after this she slept on the couch and seemed exhausted the rest of the day and part of the next day. Also overnight she made a few changes to the wonderland. She doesn't seem to talk very much now but I can once in a while get a definite response from yes/no questions. Her body language and facial expressions seem to be very vivid now though, and she can move between the wonderland and the void herself without my help now.

 

I should also mention that my tulpa will not stay in the wonderland and let me be alone in the void to attempt this again. I only tried this once after my original post, and she didn't stop me from doing it, but she wouldn't let me focus very long before she forcefully absorbed the ball herself.

 

I feel crazy after explaining all that, it seems weird and farfetched once said out loud, but it's pretty much exactly what happened. Also I should note that two days later i still have a headache. It is not constant though, but right now I have a throbbing headache and have done only narration since then. I never get headaches from narration, so I think I'm still feeling side effects from it.

 

God, that took a long time to type to out. I hope that wall of text actually helps someone.

[WhiiteRussian]

That helped a lot.

I just have a hard time getting into that void of clearing my mind and blocking everything out while tulpaforcing.

Also, when you say you project yourself in wonderland, doyou mean imagine yourself in your wonderland in third person? When I go into my wonderland I am typically in first person.

[SolEvil]

I'm glad that helped.

 

What helps me to block everything out is first just think of the blackness and nothingness of the void. The calm stillness of absolutely nothing. I find it very calming, that's why I choose to do it in a void as opposed to my wonderland. You can try to do it in your wonderland if you think it would help. Try both and see what works better for you.

 

And yes, I imagine myself in 3rd person. I can see through my avatar in 1st person if I want, but I prefer 3rd person. For doing this I believe that seeing in 3rd person would make it easier. It helps me focus on channeling the emotions through my avatar if I can see it. Maybe try to see yourself in the void not as you, but just as a catalyst for controlling the emotions and channeling them.