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Tulpa Rejection after Abandonment


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Howdy all. It's been a long time since I last visited tulpa forming, I started it way back when AdmiralRefuge (Pleeb here apparently!) first started this forum... so whenever that was.

 

Anyway, I've been having a hard time recently and needed an escape. So I figured id revisit those sandy shores and blue skies in my mind, where I spent so many hours forming my tulpa, Kyra, from a spherical, chaotic ball of floating flesh.

 

I closed my eyes, numbed my body out as usual, etc etc and found myself in the black of my mind. The door to Kyras beach appeared and I felt the cold of the brass handle and felt the old chipped red painted door. I went through and found myself on the beach. The sun was harsh and warm, and the sea was high and to the horizon. When I decided to look for Kyra, my entire vision literally flashed white and there was a loud bang noise.

 

At first I thought it was just my mind having a glitch, but then I realised I couldn't feel the warmth of the sun and I was back in the dark. She kicked me out! I asked her to let me back in and I wouldn't force my way in. I tried the door and it opened a crack and I saw half of her face with those dark brown little eyes. She looked angry. Furious even. She kept shutting the door on me. I gave up in the end.

 

I left my Tulpa a long time ago and I explained to her at the time that it would probably be a long time before I could see her again. She's either refusing me for fear of rejection, has found happiness in her own space, or has gone feral of sorts.

 

Has anybody else had this experience? I sensed she was too far gone for me to reach her.

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I would have kicked you out as well. Seriously, what did ya expect? Why did you abandon her in the first place? If you really want her back you will manage to reach out to her. If not just leave her alone.

 

Also tell me more about Pleb's alter ego 'AdmiralRefugee'!

This is relevant to my interests.

Super Girls don't cry

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It might be best to figure out how to apologize to her, and to explain why you abandoned her initially. Discuss it with her if she is willing listen, too. Try doing different activites she might enjoy slowly and see what she would be comfortable with, and prioritize her above all else for a a while. I'm sure she would be receptive at some point - as Ame said, you are your tulpa's only real friend. It's all about coaxing her out of her shell.

 

Don't leave her be this time either, but that should be a given. It might be worth offering to create a second tulpa so she won't be so lonely when you're not paying attention to her. I'm not going to reprimand you despite my beliefs, as it doesn't help you with your situation.

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I asked Jesse, my most logical, and Forrest, my most emotional. Luna, our resident extrovert, contributed too.

 

So the general consensus seems to be that you've really hurt her and caused her to feel mind-numbing loneliness. We would never advise you in a million years to give up on her; you'd only hurt her further. Work with her, show that you're willing to make up for what you've done. Jesse suggests narration; chat with her, show her that you're not going to forget her or give up. Forrest suggests that you keep trying to visit her too, but don't barge in; show her that you are considerate of her feelings and won't force your way in. Coax her out slowly, open her up like a flower.

 

But darling, if there is anything you will take away from this, then most importantly do not give up! You've already proven that you have willpower, as is suggested by the fact that you've worked on your tulpa. She is deserving of love and comfort for the hurt she's feeling. Please update us!

: Both/Neither???, 14th of February 2010

|Forrest|: Male, 10th of December 2014

{Luna}: Female, 21st of October 2015

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Jade and aury's life of a tulpa/draw my life video has a segment on what it felt like for aury to be abandoned by their host. You should go watch it, it'll probably give you some insight on what it was like for them, which might make it easier to apologise.

 

uh, sorry, I just went looking for the link and can't find it. i'll edit my comment if i find a mirror somewhere.

Despite the name, the host bodybody is the one usually using this account. 

Spice was born in 2013 and Tomoe was born in 2014.

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Jade and aury's life of a tulpa/draw my life video has a segment on what it felt like for aury to be abandoned by their host. You should go watch it, it'll probably give you some insight on what it was like for them, which might make it easier to apologise.

 

uh, sorry, I just went looking for the link and can't find it. i'll edit my comment if i find a mirror somewhere.

 

I have been looking for there YouTube channel but it seems to have been deleted?!?

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I have been looking for there YouTube channel but it seems to have been deleted?!?

 

Yeah, I can't find the video either and it looks like their channel was deleted for some reason.

 

I don't remember all of the video in exact details, but I can sum up some of the end. Later into the video, Jade no longer wants Aury (out of anger and depression) and then she is paralyzed and surrounded by darkness. Aury could feel time pass, and when she can finally see again Jade is back in the wonderland, older, and he apologizes to Aury saying that he missed her. After that, Aury accepts his apology (although I don't remember if they went over that specific part in more detail) and then Aury becomes Jade's guardian angel.

 

In the video, Aury felt like she had to accept his apology? (Although this may not be completely correct.)

 

I have no idea why the channel was pulled from Youtube, and at such a terrible time too! I hope this helps.

I actually use this as a form now, but it's not my main one. I'm still not a hippo, neither is Ranger.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). He loves to chat.

 

Our system account

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I don't remember all of the video in exact details, but I can sum up some of the end. Later into the video, Jade no longer wants Aury (out of anger and depression) and then she is paralyzed and surrounded by darkness. Aury could feel time pass, and when she can finally see again Jade is back in the wonderland, older, and he apologizes to Aury saying that he missed her. After that, Aury accepts his apology (although I don't remember if they went over that specific part in more detail) and then Aury becomes Jade's guardian angel.

 

In the video, Aury felt like she had to accept his apology? (Although this may not be completely correct.)

 

I thought that Aury accepted Jade's apology since she really was not mad at Jade anymore, and Aury seemed to be put into stasis instead of just being left alone, so that probably helped too.

 

I don't know why they (or someone else) deleted their channel. Oh well. It will be missed.

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I have been looking for there YouTube channel but it seems to have been deleted?!?

 

They wiped their online presence due to drama. The playlists were still available for a short while (the videos were set to unlisted) but those are gone now. The content dump can be found here.

 

Feral is a stretch. It's not very surprising that your tulpa would be hesitant to interact with you after all that time. I'm surprised that your tulpa is still able to communicate with you in that way but maybe you could just attribute that to strong negative emotions. The only realistic solution is to build up trust through communication; even if you're tulpa isn't willing to hear you out at first, she might eventually come around and take your constant stream of narration as an apology. 

 

In response to the "offering to make another tulpa idea", that's the last thing I'd want to hear in that situation. Who's to say that OP wouldn't do the same thing again?

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