Fastdash

Fastdash Attempts to Tulpa

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The repetitive motions could be attributed to your tulpa trying to move their body as you suspect, or may be a sort of "glitch" that's common with early visualization. Others could give more solid advice.

 

Narration while playing games is actually what led to the first vocality of one of my tulpas, I've found there's almost always something to discuss because something's almost always happening to provoke reactions.

 

Perhaps puppet him a small amount if he's comfortable with it, if you feel resistance of some sort he might want to figure it out himself. Try and ask him about it.

 

On a side note, your realization eerily mirrors one of our own - I realized that it wasn't right to make a tulpa just to constrain them to the character they were based upon. I'm sure he understands and appreciates it.

 

Thank you for the information. I haven't had reactions yet other than seemingly random head pressures. However, I'm only three days in, so I really shouldn't be expecting too much.

 

I'm glad to know that this visualization thing is either meaning I'm going in the right direction, or a problem that will be solved later on. Right now, I'm only doing simple, short visualizations. However, I might do longer ones if I can puppet my tulpa.

 

Speaking of puppeting, that's some good advice. I'm going to try that tomorrow, helping him out with basic movements, and perhaps sitting still too.

 

I'm basing most of what I'm doing and thinking based on speculation, so please keep that in mind. I could have either some progress, a lot, or maybe none at all. I'm just waiting for a clear response from my tulpa that tells me he's there.

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3/10/2019

 

It's near the end of day four. I've noticed that my days have seemed to feel longer and more eventful even when my tulpa cannot speak yet. 

 

It snowed a lot yesterday, but I forgot exactly how many inches. This meant I had to go outside and shovel the driveway. I decided to use this time to talk to my tulpa about weather, climate, seasons, and things of that sort. During it, I also tried to instill the value of hard work, which is something I struggle with sometimes, but hopefully my tulpa won't. 

 

As for our XCOM playthrough, it sadly ended in disaster. We got to a point where there was no way we could win, even if we tried. I made the decision just to delete the save because there was no way we could do anything with only rookies and a support class who was somehow still alive. When I deleted the save though, I felt this wave of disappointment. While it didn't feel alien to me, I never really had this much regret about deleting a save in XCOM. I felt like I was about to get teary-eyed and my head lurched forwards once or twice.

 

I tried to visualize the wonderland for a few minutes. During our time there, I apologized for letting him down and explained that while you shouldn't give up, you can't just keep banging your head against the wall. After that, I felt much better, and I think I taught my tulpa a good lesson. He still kept moving around though, doing the same motion I mentioned in the last update, but I think he was doing it less.

 

I did some other things with my tulpa later on, like showing him some of the games I had, and reminisced about them. It was pretty nice, and I even offered to play some of them with him sometime.

 

I noticed I started to have intrusive thoughts. When I asked about if I was going to screw up my tulpa or not, I was told that as long as I didn't abuse him, I should be fine. This would have been okay if this didn't start leading to thoughts of me hurting my tulpa's form which I could not control. I was unsure if these thoughts were getting to Wigglytuff or not, so I quickly visualized the wonderland to give him an emergency message. In the message, I told him I was having these intrusive thoughts, and that they were nothing more than lies. I would never hurt him because he means so much to me. I'm hoping he got the message and that if these thoughts do get to him, he will know it's not me doing it. Things seemed to calm down from there.

 

However, something weird happened sometime around 6:30 p.m. to 7:00. During this time, I felt a  head pressure pushing against my forehead. It started out fairly normal but grew stronger over time. I don't think it was a headache since it didn't hurt, except for a few pains that lasted for a split second and only in tiny spots. Mostly, it was just pressure. As it continued though, I began to get tired. I head didn't seem to want to stay up, and al I wanted to do was sleep. After a few minutes, I gave in, crawling into bed to try to nap. 

 

I woke up about an hour later, or I think I did. It was hard to fall asleep, and I couldn't even tell if I had been sleeping or not. My forehead still felt the pressure, and my eyes couldn't focus on much. However, after a few minutes, my eyes began to focus again. Longer after that, the pressure went away. 

 

I have no idea what happened. I've felt tired a lot, but usually not to that extent. Most of the time, it's just that my eyes feel heavy and I don't have that much energy, but I don't feel that strong of an urge to go nap. Could this have been because of forcing so much, or could it have been Wigglytuff trying to communicate in some way?

 

I don't know what's going on with these head pressures. For all I know my mind could be playing tricks on me, or I'm just forcing too much, but I feel like there could be something to these. Even when I write this, I still feel some pressure, but it could just be from concentrating so much. While I was lying in bed, I asked Wigglytuff to try to communicate with me again if that was what he was trying to do. If this was him, I hope I get answers when I do get to bed tonight.

 

There are so many things that are on my mind. Here are a few other things I'm wondering about.

 

1. What would be some good games I could use to expose Wigglytuff to the world or teach him some lessons?

2. Should I be trying to visualize the wonderland for longer, or is just doing it for a few minutes enough?

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Start listening for ideas the next time you play a game. That sounds weird, but hear me out - a young tulpa that isn't vocal might try and communicate in tulpish, or pure thought. It could be anything, just pay attention. I've felt similar head pressures myself, they're relatively normal.

 

If you want games with morals, lessons, and tough questions, I'd recommend Undertale and Far Cry 5 of all things, if you're into that sort of game. Just uh, be warned the Far Cry series is pretty graphic.

 

I don't believe it matters how long you spend visualizing the wonderland, as long as you're making progress.

 

A side note - I've played Pokèmon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky, the game Wigglytuff came from. Perhaps the repetitive motion you're experiencing is a memory of a sprite animation in the game, maybe his walking or idle animation?

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About the fatigue you felt: We had something similar with Sunny when I tried to get her to listen to a lecture at uni. I was listening and reading and relaying everything plus some comments of my own to Sunny. She says she was really trying to listen and comprehend, even if it didn't quite work as intended. Our consensus is that us both thinking at once for just 15 minutes tired us out completely and knocked me out for about 20 minutes. I dozed off during lectures before, but that time it felt very different. For one, I got enough sleep the prior night, and wasn't feeling tired at all, neither before nor after the incident.


[Jay] (a.k.a. evgenirus, a.k.a. Evg) is the host. (Used plain text prior to May 2019.)

[sunny] (a.k.a. Alice, rarely) is the older tulpa. (Yellow text is her words, too.)

[Pinkie] (a.k.a. Ponka, a.k.a. Diane) is the younger tulpa. (She used to talk in pink here.)

Come see our progress report thread, if you have time.

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3/11/2019

 

Well, if anyone is curious, nothing happened last night. 

 

It's almost the end of day five. Today was Wigglytuff's second-day experiencing high school. I had a hard time forcing in school because of the usual work, but I tried whenever I had the chance. 

 

Today, my germaphobia was set off. I don't want to go into detail, but the result was me using a soaking wet Clorox wipe I had to get from the school library to clean part of my clothes. I wouldn't be talking about this if I didn't tell my tulpa about it. It's been something I've been struggling with for a while, and I wanted my tulpa to know what was going on. Perhaps it's something he could help me with, not cure, but at least alleviate.

 

Other than that, the Junior guys in school gave Wigglytuff a bunch of good examples of how not to act. I do hope that even when I was not focusing on him that he was able to learn something from all of my classes.

 

When I got home, I decided to play a Pokemon game with Wigglytuff. Seeing how he does have a pokemon form, I thought it'd be good to see where the idea originated from. Pokemon White was the game I chose. I was thinking of playing Pokemon Black since that was my first main series Pokemon game, but I chose White version because I heard it had better post-game content, and I wanted to see some of the exclusives. They're pretty much the same game anyways.

 

It went well for a while. I talked with my tulpa about the game, read the dialogue along with him, and caught a few Pokemon. It would have been the perfect introduction... if only I had remembered that I needed to delete the save file I had on there previously to save the new game. I decided it would be best to stop for the day and try again tomorrow.

 

technical-difficulties.jpg.c56f0dcb2ac520608dd49f53ca01b33e.jpg

 

I also introduced Wigglytuff to pancakes with butter and maple syrup. It's a minor event, but I feel it's important to document Wigglytuff's first experience with one of the best breakfast foods in existence... eaten for dinner for some reason.

 

For some reason, I also just felt the need to unload my emotions onto my tulpa. I told him that, even if he cannot speak yet, he means so much for me for being here. During my ramblings, I told him that I wanted to make him the best person he can be, better than me and that we can help each other through our problems. It's so nice knowing that pretty soon, I'll have a second opinion always at the ready if I'm unsure about something, and from such a competent source as well. Though I sometimes worry I may be putting too many expectations on him.

 

I'm starting to expect Wigglytuff to send some response soon. I've been forcing with him a lot and I'm trying my best to help him develop. Though I have to try to stay patient. It may be weeks or months until he is formed, but I know that afterward the results will be around for life.

 

I think that's pretty much it. Now, here are some random questions I've thought of.

 

1. When my tulpa does become sentient, does that mean we can have cooperative daydreams? Like, role-playing in my head?

 

2. Would it be a good idea to introduce my tulpa to some of my OCs by taking on the form and personality of them? I thought it would be interesting to try to teach my tulpa through my characters and not just myself.

 

3. What things should I look out for to see if my tulpa is trying to communicate with me?

 

4. What would be a good way to teach him how to be logical and wise in a way that will stick with him?

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1. Yes

 

2. Why? Seems unnecessary. I think that probably you should keep characters as characters and not do something to get your tulpa attached to them. Baby tulpas are notorious for asking for new tulpas prematurely. I should know, I did that too.

 

3. My guide, "Creation, Sentience, and Vocality" details many Signs of Sentience to look out for.  Basically, thought and emotions are the two biggest ways of communication, and they can come in many forms.

 

4. I think demonstrating that sort of behavior yourself would work for that.


I'm Apollo Fire, the "Sun God" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa created December 2016. My systemmates are RadioPiano, & Indigo. Form images: 1 2

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3/12/2019

 

It's almost been a week since I've started forming my tulpa. I haven't seen much progress yet, but certain things have been getting in the way.

 

I have to do a lot of work for my College Composition class. Not only do I have to write an essay by the end of next week, but I have to do a research paper due at the beginning of May, on top of other work. I'm worried that this extra stress may make it harder to force my tulpa. If I didn't have study halls I could do work in every day, forcing could have become impossible.

 

However, despite all the stress, I made sure to tell him one thing. I told him that no matter how stressful things got, I would never abandon him and that we will get through these types of roadblocks together. We're in this as a team, and I hope that never changes.

 

After calming down and getting some homework done, I decided to try something new with my tulpa. I booted up Euro Truck Simulator 2 and went on a little road trip with him. After choosing a job to do, Wigglytuff and I made our way from London, U.K. to Linz, Austria. During it, I tried talking with my tulpa, coming up with some interesting topics, but mostly just rambling about the game. I also think it was good for him to learn somewhat about Europe. He can't live his life thinking only America exists.

 

Some screenshots from our trip.

20190312190649_1.thumb.jpg.9994ac4d5924239f1eda21b83b10ea2a.jpg

 

20190312190656_1.thumb.jpg.1049144f8052be9ed9b5c65f2f97d763.jpg

 

Other than that, there wasn't much to document. I might try talking with him in the wonderland later, but I'm not sure that will provide anything interesting. 

 

1. How could I encourage Wigglytuff to speak with me other than asking him questions and narrating?

 

2. How can I differentiate my tulpa's thoughts from my own effectively?

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1. I think those are probably the main ways. Just saying "do you have any thoughts about that?" is a good way to do it. Also, I know you haven't received nonverbal responses, but when you do, you can try asking "can you form that into words?"

 

2. It sort of happens naturally for us, it's hard to explain. If you feel/think a thought came from him, assume that is correct. This will get easier over time, until eventually differentiation might not even be an issue anymore.


I'm Apollo Fire, the "Sun God" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa created December 2016. My systemmates are RadioPiano, & Indigo. Form images: 1 2

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