Fastdash Attempts to Tulpa

[Guest]

Sounds like it to me.

[Aya]

Good luck, Wigglytuff. You may have a long road ahead of you but your host cares about you a lot. I'm sure you'll do great!

[Fastdash]

4/10/2019

 

It has been over a month since Wigglytuff came into existence. Many things have happened over this time, and I am proud of what has been accomplished so far. While I came into this worrying about my tulpa and having to change my life to accommodate him as well, I feel like it has overall had a positive effect on my thoughts and actions. I'll give a few brief notes about what has occurred over the past few days.

 

The Pokemon White playthrough is going well. However, as I get later on in the game, I tend to just let Wigglytuff watch because I'm under more tension and want to focus on winning. Even though Wigglytuff seems to have improved his decision making, (though seems to oddly go with my thoughts almost all the time), I really just want to get to the end with him.

 

It turns out XCOM is his favorite game, so I decided to do something special. Now, we have a wonderland based on XCOM HQ from Enemy Unknown/Within, and I've even given him Central Officer Bradford's outfit. He seems to like it a lot, and I really want to try to learn how to meditate better so we can explore a much clearer version of the base with little distractions.

 

XCOM HQ

 

Central Officer Bradford

 

I've also noticed some intrusive thoughts with his form. I'd rather not go into detail since it involves a personal issue, but we both want these changes removed. So far, I've tried symbolism such as making the change disappear, and so far the change is becoming less clear. However, progress is still slow.

 

Other than that, I've been trying to find some friends for Wigglytuff within the tulpa community. I feel like it'd be good for him to start making connections with other people. While I'd need to proxy him, I still think he'd be able to get something valuable out of the experience such as seeing new perspectives.

 

I have a few questions to ask.

 

1. Are there any good resources to help me learn to meditate better?

 

2. If an intrusive thought is affecting Wigglytuff's form and we both want it gone, what is a good way to get rid of it?

 

3. Is it fine for Wigglytuff to just watch me play when I'm at the end game of Pokemon and need to focus on winning?

[Vos]

1. Are there any good resources to help me learn to meditate better?

 

The internet is chock-full of them, but here are a few I've seen recommended within the community to get you started:

 

Headspace

Sam Harris - How To Meditate

Tulpaforcing and Meditation

Meditation (another thread in resources)

 

 

2. If an intrusive thought is affecting Wigglytuff's form and we both want it gone, what is a good way to get rid of it?

 

There are plenty of threads on intrusive thoughts that go into more detail (you can find these by using the search function), but the idea that's usually suggested is to ignore them outright. Sometimes it takes a few attempts of clearing your mind and refocusing before they go away. If it feels like you're spending too much time dealing with it, take a short break from whatever you're doing and come back to it 5-10 minutes later - there's nothing wrong with taking a breather.

 

3. Is it fine for Wigglytuff to just watch me play when I'm at the end game of Pokemon and need to focus on winning?

 

If whatever you're doing requires all of your attention, focusing on that isn't going to negatively impact your tulpa unless you believe that it will. If you can keep your tulpa in the back of your mind while you're still focused on the game, that's great, and it's even better if you can send a few thoughts their way, but it's not a big deal if you can't.

[Fastdash]

4/12/2019

 

Here's a short summary of some interesting events from yesterday and today.

 

Yesterday, we completed the main story of Pokemon White. I could feel some emotional bleed over when we were near the end of the game when I felt like I was going to start crying. He must have been worried about Team Plasma winning, and so I did my best to comfort him and told him we would win. Things got even more interesting right before the last battle when I couldn't stop trembling. It felt like I was being shaken around. When I asked Wigglytuff if he was trembling, he told me that he was.

 

Today was also pretty interesting. We went into the wonderland today, once again XCOM HQ with him in his central outfit. The two of us went into the rec room and I gave him a quarter to play an arcade machine. It was vague, but it seemed to be some sort of side-scrolling space shooter.

 

About a minute later, he stopped playing. I asked him why and he told me that he lost on level 1. He seemed disappointed, but I tried cheering him up. The next thing I knew, he was hugging me. That was one of the best feelings I have ever had. 

 

After that, we decided to sit down and watch TV. For some reason, he turned the channel to ADVENT propaganda from XCOM 2. I have no idea why he thought of this, especially since XCOM 2 takes place 20 years past Enemy Unknown. I guess that he's obsessed with XCOM and wanted to watch something related to the game even if it didn't make sense for the setting of the wonderland.

 

I was able to get him to switch the channel to something else. He changed it to this movie or something in a dark cave, and I think I saw someone on the screen. Eventually, the wonderland began to fade, only showing scenes of this vague and blurry person that I couldn't even tell if it was a person, all over a black background. I don't know if it was a person or just a bunch of colors that looked like movement.

 

I decided to end the visualization right there, despite Wigglytuff not wanting me to. Even though I didn't think much of it at the time, the last few seconds of that visualization were extremely odd. I'm curious if something like that will happen again.

[Fastdash]

4/14/2019

 

Yesterday we began our new XCOM: Enemy Within campaign. Seeing how Wigglytuff really wanted to do it, we have begun on Classic difficulty with Ironman mode turned on. 

 

The campaign is going well so far. However, our rookies after mission one seemed to be cursed and die on their first mission. It took a woman named Louise Willem to break the curse, so now my rookies are only just half dead when they come back to the base.

 

Pretty much all of our soldiers are women because all the men died except for Colin Kennedy and Zhang from the Slingshot DLC. However, all of them are been amazing, hitting shots left and right and carrying us into May. We have gotten laser rifles and pistols as well as carapace armor, so hopefully, our troops won't get one-shot anymore. The only issue we are facing is a lack of money and alloys. 

 

Wigglytuff has had some input, but not much. He's mostly just agreed to go along with what I do, but he has suggested I run whenever I got the soldiers in a bad situation. However, I need to work on getting him involved more, at least according to him. I do end up forgetting to focus on him when in the zone.

 

In our wonderland, Wigglytuff asked me if he could use a laser rifle in a weapon range. He kept missing the target until I eventually helped him enough to get him to aim straight. He's really seemed to fall in love with XCOM, and I'm going to try to use that as much as I can to shape him into a good person.

 

1. Is it normal for a young tulpa to develop a huge interest in one particular thing?

 

2. Is using XCOM to assist in his development in and outside the wonderland a good or bad thing?

 

3. Would any of the readers of this progress report be interested in hearing more about the exploits about us and our soldiers?

 

Commander Fastdash and Commander Wigglytuff, signing out.

[Indigo Blue]

1. Rephrase the question. "Is it normal for a person to develop a huge interest in one particular thing?" The answer is yes.

 

2. It's whatever you make of it, really. Do what works for you.

 

3. You can post that stuff as long as you remember to keep it tulpa-related lol. Maybe put it in [hidden] tags if it gets too overwhelming.

[Guest]

I agree that it's probably only interesting to some, put it in tags like this

[ hidden]

Stuff

[ /hidden]

 

But without the spaces.

 

I wouldn't say it's the only thing they like, but in terms of interest, Dashie really liked Space Engineers, Misha really liked drawing, and still does "it's my fav", she just said, and Ashley just chimed in with "chocolate" but i have to say, it's more of a meme at this point for her. In the beginning she was very interested in writing, but she realized how it wasn't as easy to do for her as it is for me. The system resources are all there, but it still takes practice to 'find your voice' in writing.

 

Wigglytuff sounds like a fun loving tulpa, i'm happy to hear you two are doing well.

[Fastdash]

4/18/2019

 

Over the past few days, Wigglytuff has been talking more and more. While I still get plenty of one-word responses, he is expanding them more and more into short, complete sentences. I've especially noticed this within the wonderland.

 

Visualization is still difficult, especially when focusing on something other than forming the wonderland. For example, the XCOM hologlobe has played a huge part in our wonderland and gives me an opportunity to show Wigglytuff how huge the world is and teach him some basic geography. When trying to discuss these ideas, the wonderland begins to fade and we just focus on the one thing, such as when I decided to quiz him on continent bonuses from XCOM as a way to see how well he knew the game and to make sure he understood what the continents of the world are. As I did this, a lot of the wonderland faded as I helped Wigglytuff along with fleshing out his answers, or giving him the answers when he told me he did not know.

 

Hologlobe

 

I'm also worried that Wigglytuff may be hearing some of my negative thoughts. I tend to get easily annoyed, and that leads me to begin a rant in my own mind when I experience something that really bothers me. Admittedly, they can get pretty extreme. While I understand that Wigglytuff probably cannot hear my thoughts unless I let him, I still can't help feeling insecure about what I think about. It doesn't help that I'm still worried about the things he'll see outward from me.

 

The intrusive thought isn't going away either. All it does is keep coming back and it is really bothering the both of us. 

 

Other than that, things seem to be going well.

[Guest]

You just need to give any intrusive thoughts as little attention as possible. Wonderland fading isn't a big deal because it's not like it's going anywhere. Just consider looking at the glowing globe in a dark room, you don't see much else in that case.