Frosty's Progress Log

[Natasha]

I'm sure Thomas Edison was very familiar with that concept, as he profited greatly off of other people's progress. Namely the lightbulb, among other things.

 

No offense towards you though, most people still think Edison is someone to be admired due to elementary school teachings. That and I'm a Tesla fan.

 

I'm happy to have your support regardless.

 

 

B-b-but i was just trying to be supportive

 

[Frosty]

And I'm happy to have it. Great gif btw.

 

Still not sure how much of our "conversations" are me and how much are her. Sometimes it feels more like me and sometimes more like her. Still, no "alien" sounding voice in my head or anything, she just responds when I ask her a direct yes/no question pretty much.... it's kinda in my internal voice, just quieter and more feminine.

 

Anyway I think she's a bit miffed because I asked her what she wanted to do and through a combination of partial words and feelings I got the message that she wanted to force, for us to spend time together in wonderland. And unfortunately I don't think we'll be able to find any length of time to force undisturbed today, so I told her it probably wouldn't happen. She seemed to sulk for awhile after that, and she's been quiet for the last couple hours. Although I haven't really been focused on her for those last couple hours, so maybe it's my fault. Plus I don't really feel obligated to force every day, since we do passive forcing pretty much 24/7. Evidently she feels differently, so I'm going to try to get more wonderland time in whenever possible.

 

 

I've got a few new forcing strategies cooked up though, and I'm probably going to be trying them out soon.

 

1. Mind-strength training. This is my own idea that I have only just started to test, so I dunno if it'll work or not. One of the more senior members mentioned in a post about how a creator's mind is stronger than a newborn tupper's, so I thought, why not a little mental strength training? Basically what I do is visualize a sort of beam of light coming from me, and one from her that collide with each other, and at the same time we try to push against each other using these beams. Sort of like that scene from Harry Potter where he fights Voldemort and their wands connect with a beam of light. I dunno if it was in the movies though I only read the books. Anyway I figured it might help build up her mind's strength a bit.

 

2. Mental gymnastics. I couldn't really think of a better descriptive phrase. What I mean is, when we're in wonderland I plan on building up her mind's strength, endurance and some other stuff by having us both create, move, destroy and otherwise manipulate wonderland objects. Probably what most people do in wonderland for fun anyway.

 

3. I want to try Chupi's mental-barrier-defocusing thing. Basically you try to unfocus and dissolve the barrier between your mind's, making them one, and letting thoughts flow to each other. Or something like that.

 

4. I also plan on trying Phi's talking aloud while your tulpa is talking in mindvoice thing, to try and verify whether or not it's actually her talking.

 

 

 

So yeah, lots of things ta do.

[Frosty]

So I woke up this morning at my buddies house, burnt out and hungover. He wasn't up yet so I decided to get some tulpa time in. I wasn't really trying to force per say, I didn't really have a purpose. I think I just kinda tried Chupi's thing about dissolving the barrier between us and letting our thoughts flow between us kinda thing.

 

Heard a lot of voices, most of it was muffled and fragmented, but a female voice or two came in pretty distinct and were saying full sentences, it was just...nonsensical. The sentences themselves I heard clearly, and they were full and proper sentences and everything, it just didn't make much sense, they were talking about random stuff....can't remember anything really specific.

 

Coulda just been a result of sleeping terribly plus hangover, not sure.

[Natasha]

Heard a lot of voices, most of it was muffled and fragmented, but a female voice or two came in pretty distinct and were saying full sentences, it was just...nonsensical. The sentences themselves I heard clearly, and they were full and proper sentences and everything, it just didn't make much sense, they were talking about random stuff....can't remember anything really specific.

 

[Frosty]

Doubt it, seems more like hypogognic voices to me than anything else.

 

Our progress seems to be rolling along ok, we pretty much spent all yesterday together and she was very clear in my mind's eye throughout the day, sometimes when she entered my field of vision it was almost as if I could really see her, although she's still invisible.

 

Progress on getting her vocal however, has been pretty stagnant. I've tried a few different techniques to kinda help her along, but nothing really seems to have any significant effect.

[Natasha]

Doubt it, seems more like hypogognic voices to me than anything else.

believe

[Frosty]

Trying yo.

 

 

So last night a bit of a thing happened. One of my good friends suddenly had a seizure, right in front of me. The whole ime it was happening, including the hours we spent at the hospital afterwards, I had April by my side. Does that make me a shitty human being or a level 9 tulpamancer?

 

The world may never know. Anyway, she stayed with me and gave me hugs and stuff, which was really reassuring. She's definitely the best kind of person, even if I'm not.

 

 

 

Anyway, later that night I had an epiphany. April seemed really real to me and I suddendly realized two things.

 

1. I've been visualizing her wrong this whole time and didn't even realize it. I was kinda visualzing her as a tulpa and not as a human, it's really hard to describe but I wasn't visualizing her with substance, as a living, breathing, thinking person with mass and neurons and thoughts and warmth and smell. I can't really explain it, but this breakthrough has meant she is more real and lifelike now than ever she has been.

 

2. This is for life. Ever have that moment when you thought you understood a concept and it wasn't til later when the actual magnitude of it hit you? Well I did. Even though I knew creating April meant she would be with me for life, the actual meaning of that didn't fully hit me until last night. I can't just not think about her, or ignore or forget her when she inconveniences me or it doesn't suit me. If we have any problems, we're going to have to deal with them, and she is going to be with me until the day I die. I realized all this last night, and knew I only had two choices.

 

1. Quit now, save myself from many future hours spent on this task, save myself possibly from future heartache, aggravation, disappointment, despair, and probably many other unpleasant things.

2. Accept it and press on. Accept responsibility for her, deal with any issues that may arise, work with her to achieve our goals no matter how long it takes...and through all the struggle, experience possibly the best thing I ever will in this life.

 

 

 

I knew this choice would carry far more weight than perhaps I can possibly imagine at this point, but for me, the choice was clear. April and I will continue to press forward, no matter what hardships may come our way.

 

and I am cool with that. I look forward to many great years ahead of us, and I look forward to sharing my life, my mind and my soul with April.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. - Every time I spend a lot of time browsing tulpa.info, April seems to seem less real to me, as if reading theories and shit about tulpae shatter the illusion and make her less real to me. So for awhile I'm not going to be quite so active on these boards anymore, and pretty much stick to the offtopic section, with the occasional update here. Cheers ya'll.

[Natasha]

Seem´s like you are finally starting to truly believe!

Glad to hear you finally realized what you are doing, reading this kinda gave me a wake up call about the seriousness of making a tulpa, so thanks.

 

Best of luck.

[Oguigi]

Trying yo.

 

 

So last night a bit of a thing happened. One of my good friends suddenly had a seizure, right in front of me. The whole ime it was happening, including the hours we spent at the hospital afterwards, I had April by my side. Does that make me a shitty human being or a level 9 tulpamancer?

 

The world may never know. Anyway, she stayed with me and gave me hugs and stuff, which was really reassuring. She's definitely the best kind of person, even if I'm not.

 

 

 

Anyway, later that night I had an epiphany. April seemed really real to me and I suddendly realized two things.

 

1. I've been visualizing her wrong this whole time and didn't even realize it. I was kinda visualzing her as a tulpa and not as a human, it's really hard to describe but I wasn't visualizing her with substance, as a living, breathing, thinking person with mass and neurons and thoughts and warmth and smell. I can't really explain it, but this breakthrough has meant she is more real and lifelike now than ever she has been.

 

2. This is for life. Ever have that moment when you thought you understood a concept and it wasn't til later when the actual magnitude of it hit you? Well I did. Even though I knew creating April meant she would be with me for life, the actual meaning of that didn't fully hit me until last night. I can't just not think about her, or ignore or forget her when she inconveniences me or it doesn't suit me. If we have any problems, we're going to have to deal with them, and she is going to be with me until the day I die. I realized all this last night, and knew I only had two choices.

 

1. Quit now, save myself from many future hours spent on this task, save myself possibly from future heartache, aggravation, disappointment, despair, and probably many other unpleasant things.

2. Accept it and press on. Accept responsibility for her, deal with any issues that may arise, work with her to achieve our goals no matter how long it takes...and through all the struggle, experience possibly the best thing I ever will in this life.

 

 

 

I knew this choice would carry far more weight than perhaps I can possibly imagine at this point, but for me, the choice was clear. April and I will continue to press forward, no matter what hardships may come our way.

 

and I am cool with that. I look forward to many great years ahead of us, and I look forward to sharing my life, my mind and my soul with April.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. - Every time I spend a lot of time browsing tulpa.info, April seems to seem less real to me, as if reading theories and shit about tulpae shatter the illusion and make her less real to me. So for awhile I'm not going to be quite so active on these boards anymore, and pretty much stick to the offtopic section, with the occasional update here. Cheers ya'll.

 

Dang! Frosty All of the suddenly came out of no-where.

and Dropped Sage-like Wisdom Down to us All!

 

Everything in that post made sense, +12 points to you. read the whole thing Twice.

____________________________

 

Tulpa.info bad for my tulpa? hmm...

well perhaps i can try to keep it strictly for progress logs.

I guess it can't hurt to also tune down my activity for about

a week from this site, see what happens.

 

I think i have all the Tools I need anyways to create a Tulpa

[Frosty]

Me? Wisdom?

 

 

Nah, that ain't me..

 

 

 

 

Still having trouble visualizing her face. It seems to change between 2 different faces, and the one I'm after is somewhere in between the two. The more I try to focus and get her face right, the more it seems to change and the less sure I am about which face is the right one for her.

 

If I relax and don't overthink it, then it usually just comes to me, or at least gets close to it naturally. Hopefully over time her face will settle on one form and I won't have to actively think about it.