Why warn people off tulpamancy?

[Lucilyn]

How is it helpful and appropriate to you, Lucilyn? Given what we've been talking about. I mean, would you recommend I warn off every new tulpamancer in general? If so what verbiage should I use?

 

This is for the benefit of those who read this, regardless of where they're from, and by the way, your statement about the other communities is a pretty scathing generalization without any basis in our understanding. Do you have any examples of 'problems'?

 

well first of all I was kinda joking, but generally I meant in other tulpamancy communities we see a lot of questionable stuff go by that probably doesn't help most people, sometimes even maybe hurting them or their view of tulpamancy... if you want to say there are no problems outside the forum then alright, default back to the argument that here on .info we see nothing wrong with the levels of encouraging and discouraging tulpamancy, the times and places people warn seem just fine (again excluding the discord where we aren't active and basically never ever read #beginners)

 

but anyways, you must've misread something I said or be projecting disagreeableness from elsewhere because I'm getting that "I'm not sure where that's coming from" feeling from your post again.. since we were only talking about the forum (with confidence), the more appropriate addition to the discussion would be you giving (maybe mock-)examples of how people are discouraging practicing tulpamancy and where?

 

 

... but I think I'm out of this discussion either way, I had no intent of getting in arguments

[CM]

Well, considering how much of an impact my tulpas have in my life, emotional state, and overall mood, I still do prefer to give warnings to people of possible side effects they may not be anticipating or might be unwilling to risk. People react to different things in different ways, and since tulpamancy is such a different experience for everyone it's really hard to say what they're going to go through. For me the negative aspects have been as follows...

 

Desmond is very emotional, and very much connected to me in a way that makes his mood bleed over. I cry non-emotional tears from him being upset, his depressive bouts make it hard for me to focus on anything but him and it drags my motivation to do anything to the ground. He cares about people and their opinions more than I do, and his love or hatred towards things sometimes affects my mood accordingly, even when I don't share his opinions.

 

Desmond and I regularly get sort of mixed up together after fronting. It can be very disorienting and I wish it didn't happen at all. It's hard to shake him off and feel like myself, I keep switching in and out until finally it's just me, but it feels scary sometimes because it makes me think how easy it might be to just let my body be Desmond and forget about myself entirely, just let him go and live the physical life. It's not something I want.

 

I'm not entirely well in the head if you catch my meaning, and very often I get this paranoid idea that I'm imagining the real things around me. I start thinking "that one day when we were crossing the road with my dogs, what if there was a car and my dog got ran over? What if he's dead and I'm just insane and in denial? Am I really just dragging an empty leash and imagining a dog? Am I seeing smiles where people actually look at me in confusion?" and it just goes on and on and on... Tulpas, too, make me question my sanity sometimes. After all, if I can imagine such beings into life, what else could I have imagined? Are my childhood memories real? Was there really a kid named this and that in our school or did I make him up? Am I actually depressed or just fooling myself into believing it? It might not be tulpa-related by itself, but it feels like it amplifiers it to some extent.

 

Back when I used to be an emotional mess myself I had a lot of guilt from tulpamancy. I started one tulpa that I never "finished", but had started to get some responses from and discarded her due to circumstances making it impossible to keep working on her at the time. It's been 4 years. I still think about it. I feel guilty for not giving them enough attention, not letting Desmond front more often and therefore breaking his relationships in the outside world, there's a list of things that I feel bad about when it comes to tulpas. And it's all just shit I chose to take on when I created them, all of it was entirely avoidable.

That doesn't mean I regret creating them, just that I think warnings are good because there's really so many things that people might not be taking into account and they should be made aware of the possible consequences. I love my tulpas and the positives outweigh the negatives, no question, so I've chose to take the good with the bad. Had I known and understood how serious of a commitment I'd have to these guys I would have taken it more seriously.

Sure talking about these things can scare off people but why is that a bad thing? If they're truly interested, they can always come back to it if they change their minds and feel more confident about the whole thing, and if not, well, then they're not.

[Guest]

That makes a lot of sense, thank you. What kind of warning would you give CM? I mean, your story makes a good warning, but it's also positive in general. Just take it seriously?

 

I don't remember seeing anyone not taking it seriously though. You could also say, watch out for irl friends, take them seriously?

[YukariTelepath]

I think people should know and weight the pros and cons before deciding to make a tulpa. There's no need to sugar-coat the cons, and I don't see it as a problem if some people decide not to make a tulpa because of the cons. The more someone knows about the subject before they start, the better. I don't know that I've particularly seen new people getting the warnings your talking about, or maybe I just think they're justified to a certain extent.

[Guest]

What kind of a warning would you say is appropriate though Yuka? The ones I saw were enough to make me question if we should or not, also when, who and how. Though I clearly have my bias, I really wanted to know the motivation for doing it and dissect it a little. I think we've heard some reasons, which is good, but I'm still unclear.

 

Do you think I am doing others a disservice by not warning them? I wouldn't even know where to begin.

[Lucilyn]

like Tewi and I said (or tried to imply), every single person doesn't have to warn people, just having some warnings from whoever here and there is enough

 

if you're the only one specifically talking to someone/introducing them to tulpamancy, you can probably gauge pretty well if they should have any specific warnings, and otherwise as a community at large just having them here and there (which again, we think there are adequate levels of on the forum?) is enough for those seeking information (this thread and the link Tewi had to that one thread is already 100% great and all the recent "warning" the forum should need for a while!)

[Breloomancer]

I'm a little late to this party, but I would like to say that there are more problems that can happen with tulpamancy than just realizing that you don't have enough time and putting your tulpa in stasis. a tulpa doesn't always want the same thing as their host, and in those situations they need to be willing to talk it out and compromise. someone who is not willing to make that sorts of sacrifice, in my opinion, should not make a tulpa.

[Guest]

It still seems a bit presumptuous and even rude? I'm not the best gauge of this, but to me it's like (especially from me) "Tulpamancy is amazing, powerful, helpful, with happiness, love and friendship, a beautiful community and this unlocksso many great self help techniques! Oh and by the way, you don't sound like the right type for all this, be wary, it's a big commitment. (That was all subtext if you can follow it) then it turns out this random person becomes the next major poster and they will learn who gets warned, and put it together that I thought they weren't stable enough to handle it.

 

I'd prefer to just say, "welcome, have fun, or if you have any issues, i'm here to help."

 

It feels like filtering certain people out based on their frist impression.

 

If we are going to warn everyone, then we'll be popping warnings several times a day (in the greater community).

 

Honestly I don't see warnings in every sub-community and I'm in all the ones I know of.

 

The question has this become:

 

Who do we warn, what criteria do we use to decide that, what do we say to keep it kind and welcoming?

 

I'm hesitant to list a bunch of possible outcomes that affect a minuscule minority of users because that might end up sounding like creepypasta fuel and plant seeds of destruction in their beliefs.

 

Imagine the first person you talk to starts listing all sorts of unlikely warnings, instead of a hearty welcome.

[Breloomancer]

that's why you warn everyone. you say "hey, tulpamancy is a big responsibility and you have to be willing to make sacrifices and compromises for your tulpa, remember, tulpas are people". this sort of warning isn't meant to drive people away, as you said there is no reason to do something just because a random person on the internet told you to, but it will help them know what they are getting into and realize that yes, you do have to treat tulpas with respect

[YukariTelepath]

I agree with Bre, it's not like picking and choosing who to warn, everyone should know the pros and cons. There are some links on reddit about reasons not to make a tulpa, which I read before I got started. I don't really like the word "warning" as it implies tulpamancy is dangerous. But say someone is really busy, and when they stop and think about it they might decide, "Hey, I don't really have enough time to dedicate to this." Or "I just wanted a tulpa to do my homework, but if that's not going to work then I don't want a tulpa." Or "Thinking about making a tulpa gives me anxiety attacks, maybe this isn't right for me at this time."

 

And others will consider everything and say, "I still really want to do this."

 

Of course, if you're talking with a newcomer and they have particular concerns, you can tailor advice to them on a person to person basis. The community isn't some hive mind, whoever is around to give advice will do it from their own perspective and values.