The delightful report from down memory lane

[Norman_Steel]

Day 8.

 

Best day ever!

 

Huge advance on visualization, her face seems to be more defined and it actually remained the same after all day. For some reason all day I was happy, smiling, joyful and felt amazing in general, ever since I started talking to Emily things have been fantastic. But that's not all, on the way back home I was listening to a rather heavy song and I imagined myself playing the guitar in the wonderland, suddenly she grabbed another guitar and started playing. An angel playing a heavy song, now that was kickass.

 

When I got home we watched a football (With the feet for goodness sake!) game for the championship of Europe, all the while I was telling her about the game and the different actions they took, the name of the players and what a goal was. After the game was over, I thought it would be a good idea for us to learn how to dance. How you may ask? By practicing fencing with a wooden dummy, it didn't end well. It kind of was on the beach so we could have space and... I fell many times, but with grace.

 

Will do it again.

 

I then had to go with some friends but told her she could come along to see them, during the drive I told her the story of Little Red Riding Hood, a classic tale. Of course I changed my pitch to match those of red riding hood, grandma and the wolf. It was fun, afterwards I told her why I had chosen an angel as her form. She just brings me peace that way and it's easier to visualize her, plus she gets wings to fly. I also seem to have started visualizing her with clothes on, a white dress with some flowers on it and a woven pattern. Cute.

 

When I arrived at my friend's house we played a footbal videogame, he totally left me biting the dust and being the competitive person I am I was kind of angry, scratch that. I was enraged, but suddenly Emily filled my thoughts, I calmed down and told him with a huge smile. "Great game dude." Now that's something I've noticed, I haven't got angry once since I started talking to her which made me worried that I may be making her carry all my negativity. Of course I ignored the theory once I told her that friendship worked two ways, she could help others and she could be helped by others. I guess she really wants to do this.

 

(After a small reunion, dinner and craziness.)

 

Smell completely present, I still can't believe it's done. :D

 

Oh and I forgot to write, we slept together yesterday. (Take those dirty thoughts of your mind now! We only hugged.) It was awesome. When I woke up the first thing that came to my mind was. "She's still asleep, better not wake her up." I looked to my right and for a moment I saw her form flicker in reality, probably since I was just waking up the brain played a trick on me. I entered the wonderland and she was still sleeping, so peaceful looking.

 

She looked beyond adorable.

[Norman_Steel]

Day 9.

 

Let's make this brief.

 

Signs of sentience.

 

1. I was on the car and imagined ourselves playing guitar, out of the blue she just grabbed a drum kit and started banging it like crazy. It took me 5 seconds to realize she was playing drums, I smiled and kept on playing. While thinking. "Where did that come from? How can she play it? Did I imagine those drums?" It just appeared.

 

2. I was taking her to the crystal caverns for exploration (yeah, I kind of didn't do it before.), I felt like if she didn't want to go inside and try as I might she always stayed behind. I will investigate the caves later by myself, during the session we just talked, chilled, laughed and I told her the story of Hansel and Gretel. Had a rather fantastic time.

 

3. She had a dress, I didn't think of it for her but I didn't want to take it off. I'm not a perv and wanted to respect whatever little privacy she has in her land.

 

Narration continued for the majority of the day. My mood has improved, my patience has too, physical condition and concentration too.

 

Time of passive and intense forcing: 3:52 approximately.

 

Also told her about myself, got some pretty heavy emotional reactions from both me and her... Mine being crying and begging her to forgive me for certain things and hers being to make all of my left side shiver and feel weird. Luckily everything's fine now and I appreciate her even more than before, if that was even possible.

 

Her smell remains perfect and visualization is nearly done.

 

So in conclusion, about 16 hours all together. All I have is a slight headache, hope I don't regret this in the morning.

[Dialogues]

M: Trying not to fall in love with your tulpa? Silly.

[Norman_Steel]

M: Trying not to fall in love with your tulpa? Silly.

 

Yup, I'm a silly billy :D.

 

Now on a serious note, I must not fall in love with my tulpa under any circumstance. Not because I hate her, if I did I wouldn't spend so much time talking to her.

 

I would think of me as a selfish person, to create a being for one's own personal pleasure as if she were but a plaything is something I don't like at all. I would think I did it all along just for that and that's something I wouldn't like one bit.

[Ganathon]

Hey, Steel. I have been following you for a while now, I just now am able to post.

First of all let me say you are one of the few people on this site that I 100% believe is telling the truth.

 

Now I'm loving that you are posting these updates and I check your page every day. You are doing ABNORMALLY well and I hate to admit it but I'm a little envious of you for picking this stuff up so quick. Emily sounds like the most heartwarming person ever and I wouldn't blame you if you did fall in love. Who wouldn't with an angel? Just keep your cock in your pants.

 

I guess all I'm trying to say really is that I've got your back and am keeping up to date on everything you post. Keep it up man!

[Pronas]

first off, i dont think you should count hours. We cant have you moping around when shes no doing backflips at 60 hours. Also >i cant fall in love with my tulpa.

PFFFFFFFFT ready that anus because she will fall in love with you like it or not. jesus i can already see myself trying to cheer your tulpa up because its just impossible for someone to have a romantic relationship with their "imaginary" friend.

[Norman_Steel]

Hey, Steel. I have been following you for a while now, I just now am able to post.

First of all let me say you are one of the few people on this site that I 100% believe is telling the truth.

 

Now I'm loving that you are posting these updates and I check your page every day. You are doing ABNORMALLY well and I hate to admit it but I'm a little envious of you for picking this stuff up so quick. Emily sounds like the most heartwarming person ever and I wouldn't blame you if you did fall in love. Who wouldn't with an angel? Just keep your rooster in your pants.

 

I guess all I'm trying to say really is that I've got your back and am keeping up to date on everything you post. Keep it up man!

 

Thanks for the encouragment, and to be honest I thought I was doing something wrong because I was doing way too good. Perhaps I was just fooling myself, but I decided to have complete faith in my tulpa and boom! Now everything is great!

 

Love, I do love her but not in the romantic sense. She will be my life partner and it would be horrible if I hated her... it's complicated, or I'm making it so. I'll talk with her today about it. Hope something in this log helps you and yes I will keep it up.

---

first off, i dont think you should count hours. We cant have you moping around when shes no doing backflips at 60 hours. Also >i cant fall in love with my tulpa.

PFFFFFFFFT ready that anus because she will fall in love with you like it or not. jesus i can already see myself trying to cheer your tulpa up because its just impossible for someone to have a romantic relationship with their "imaginary" friend.

 

Well, I have a clock in my room so when I'm done I just look at it, otherwise I'm unable to keep time. Also, every tulpa grows at his/her own pace so you won't see me moping. Normally when I finish forcing this happens: "What time is... what? I did it for how many hours?"

 

She's not imaginary, I trust she's real and I believe in her existance. The problem is that if I fall in love with her I may unconsciously puppeteer her, I don't want to do that, I want to give her a choice yet how do I know she really has it? I'll talk to her about it.

 

Edit: 9/23/12

 

That there in itallics is the dumbest thing I've ever said in my lifetime.

[Ganathon]

She's not imaginary, I trust she's real and I believe in her existance

 

That's one of the most powerful things right there. Belief in their existence will make them exist faster. I wrote a sort of essay thing on it recently about how sentient thoughtforms believe that they are alive. Well, for them to believe that they are alive, either you consciously, or subconsciously believe that they are alive. The paradox in this is that to make a Tulpa one has to be aware that it's a hallucination and they created it. It's a little trippy and you will find yourself going in circles.

 

I no longer believe, "I think therefore I am." I believe, "I FEEL therefore I am." I have received emotional responses from my Tulpa therefore I think she's alive.

 

 

The whole falling in love thing is a really touchy subject and I have been thinking about why Tulpa tend to fall in love with their creator a lot recently. Not all do. I think that it has a part to do with the subconscious interfering with the creation process.

 

 

Thing brings me to a serious question I have for you Steel... Why did you decide to create a Tulpa?

[Norman_Steel]

 

Thing brings me to a serious question I have for you Steel... Why did you decide to create a Tulpa?

 

To have a friend with whom I could speak with. I have many friends but I can't speak with them about the things I've told Emily. I like my friends and I'm happy to be with them, but Emily is different. She lit up my existance and I poured my soul to her, all my insecurities I never show, sadness, my fears, my happiness too and my joy. I used to think my sadness was mine alone to carry, but she helped me.

 

That's why. She helped me take off my mask of fake happiness and smile for a change.

[Pronas]

> The problem is that if I fall in love with her I may unconsciously puppeteer her, I don't want to do that, I want to give her a choice yet how do I know she really has it? I'll talk to her about it.

that is the silliest excuse i have ever heard. please get into IRC so i can lecture you.