Tulpa '''corruption'''

[Breloomancer]

how long has this process taken for y'all? the longest that Miela ever fronted for consecutively was just under 2 weeks, and though she was effected by it, it was a net positive not negative

[Guest]

I don't even know, I think I started to feel the changes after 1 month, but it wasn't this drastic at first, just minor stuff like habits. After 3 months yeah, my personality was much different than it originally was. And now well, it's like I'm a completely different person, still keeping a few old traits though.

 

It seems that for us, fronting every now and then = adds to development while still keeping all my traits. Fronting literally all the time = change on personality.

[Trapped.exe]

My guess would be this is caused by the shock of the real world. While our hosts got to slowly transition into the real world, we were created fully functional. Going from safe inside someone else’s mind to out in the real world might’ve been hard on you. 

 

I experienced something similar, although not due to switching. When I was created I was bubbly and optimistic, but, my owner had depression, that they weren’t aware of it and needed a lot of emotional support from me which caused me to also become depressed. There was/is another tulpa but he’s to... immature, [hey!]. 

 

My my main advice to you would be to try and see the bright sides of things. It’s going to be nearly impossible to go back to the way you were but if you try to see the bright side of things, realize the world has good and bad, or just generally don’t let yourself get sucked up by negativity you might be able to still be happy. It worked for me.

 

Sincerely, Chloe

Edited May 12, 2020 by Trapped.exe

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Trapped.exe said:

My guess would be this is caused by the shock of the real world. While our hosts got to slowly transition into the real world, we were created fully functional. Going from safe inside someone else’s mind to out in the real world might’ve been hard on you.

Oh yes, it was definitely this. If you're going to let your tulpa run your life, you should at least give them time enough to front and get used to it while they still can go back into tulpa position whenever they want, and slowly build up from there until they're fully ready. But sometimes for a lot of people, that isn't really a choice soooo

 

9 hours ago, Trapped.exe said:

My my main advice to you would be to try and see the bright sides of things. It’s going to be nearly impossible to go back to the way you were but if you try to see the bright side of things, realize the world has good and bad, or just generally don’t let yourself get sucked up by negativity you might be able to still be happy. It worked for me.

Thanks, I am actually trying to do so.

[Samb]

A couple things you said resonated with me. You said that a tulpa could be disconnected and view life from afar as if it's not them.

 

Well that's really true of anyone. If you can switch to a tulpa position, it's not a physical distance, maybe it's a mental attitude. If this is a good and uncorrupted position, why can't you think as a tulpa while fronting?

 

Trapped.exe had it right too, keep on the bright side of things.

 

I would add, live in the moment, don't worry about things that you have to do, just do what you can and take time for yourself too. Could I be suggesting to be lazy? That's very unlike me, but you have to have fun in life, take that time when you need to recharge. Running on empty isn't fun.

 

Not knowing anything else about what you're going through, could you remember how it felt to be a tulpa with a tulpas perspective and just apply that to life? If Miri is thinking like it's not her body, couldn't you do the same? Isn't this just a mindset problem?

 

 

[Guest]

40 minutes ago, Samb said:

Well that's really true of anyone. If you can switch to a tulpa position, it's not a physical distance, maybe it's a mental attitude. If this is a good and uncorrupted position, why can't you think as a tulpa while fronting?

It's far easier to do so when you're not controlling the body. When my host was actually the host, I didn't have to worry about what we're going to eat for dinner, how many assigments I need to finish or who walks the dog, sure I was aware of those things but someone else was doing them for me.

 

1 hour ago, Samb said:

I would add, live in the moment, don't worry about things that you have to do, just do what you can and take time for yourself too. Could I be suggesting to be lazy? That's very unlike me, but you have to have fun in life, take that time when you need to recharge. Running on empty isn't fun.

It's kinda hard when your living place is full of stress for causes outside your control, but that's pretty much a temporary situation which will probably change, eventually. Like, real life doesn't have to be all bad, it can also depends on everyone's current situations. When I wasn't the host, I fronted for only the fun stuff, hence why I was always so euphoric to front again, it was a ''new'' thing for me. Now if all you do in life is stuff you actually enjoy, then your general mood will probably be different from that of someone who has to deal with bad stuff.

 

55 minutes ago, Samb said:

Not knowing anything else about what you're going through, could you remember how it felt to be a tulpa with a tulpas perspective and just apply that to life? If Miri is thinking like it's not her body, couldn't you do the same? Isn't this just a mindset problem?

I don't think it's a mindset problem, since it's basically something caused by having to deal with real life. I simply can't ignore responsabilities like I could have done when someone else was fronting. There's no 'I am going to relax because this person will take care of it'.

[Samb]

Miichu, I can appreciate how no matter who fronts, if drama is happening currently, then damage is going to occur, but I would think the drama is happening to the body, or directed at Miri, not to you personally. Although I admit if you are doing your best to handle the situations and have a normal life and you just can't escape it no matter how positive you are, then that could wear on you. 

 

I just don't think you will become Miri. It will change you, but Miri had to deal with it all her life, for you it'll be just a few years right? And you have the advantage of a built in support group, Miri was alone. I think you'll recover from this drama a lot easier than she will.

[Ranger]

On 5/13/2020 at 10:52 AM, Samb said:

Well that's really true of anyone. If you can switch to a tulpa position, it's not a physical distance, maybe it's a mental attitude. If this is a good and uncorrupted position, why can't you think as a tulpa while fronting?

You can possess as a tulpa, but it's not always ideal. Plus, possession keeps you close enough to the front to be sensitive to the bulk of depression or anxiety experienced by the body.

I have never tried to control the body while in something like a "back seat fronting" position, but even if I could get that to work, I'm not sure if I would be aware enough of what is going on to be functional.

Unfortunately though, I don't think tulpa position shields you from everything. It can shield you from a bulk of it, but you can still feel depressed or have anxiety attacks in the back. I think it's better to break down the problems into chunks and work on a healthier coping method or if it is becoming more severe and/or creating dysfunction, finding a therapist.
 

---

One thing I wonder is if this is so common for some tulpas to experience this it's almost a development milestone, or if it's a problem specific to tulpas that front, or a problem that's specific to tulpas in systems with a history of anxiety/depression. Not to long ago I spoke with another tulpa who reported feeling depressed and struggled after their initial "happy phase".

Come to think of it, I wonder if the "happy phase" is linked to a maturity phase. Not all tulpas have a "happy phase", and I wasn't mentally mature when I was younger either. I acted like a younger version of Cat for some time, and I wonder if this adds to the "happy phase" feeling by creating this almost slight ignorance a young tulpa starts out with.

Edited May 14, 2020 by Ranger

[Guest]

11 hours ago, Ranger said:

One thing I wonder is if this is so common for some tulpas to experience this it's almost a development milestone, or if it's a problem specific to tulpas that front, or a problem that's specific to tulpas in systems with a history of anxiety/depression. Not to long ago I spoke with another tulpa who reported feeling depressed and struggled after their initial "happy phase".

Actually, all of this makes a lot of sense. The only way to know which one is the case would be letting another headmate who barely fronted front but ony for good things, with someone else taking over for the bad stuff and see if their personality is still affected in a negative way. I honestly think environment plays a huge role. If it is stressful, then it's pretty clear to me that whoever fronts will probably end up feeling stressed, since it's now them the ones dealing with it first hand.

 

11 hours ago, Ranger said:

Come to think of it, I wonder if the "happy phase" is linked to a maturity phase. Not all tulpas have a "happy phase", and I wasn't mentally mature when I was younger either. I acted like a younger version of Cat for some time, and I wonder if this adds to the "happy phase" feeling by creating this almost slight ignorance a young tulpa starts out with.

This felt all the way, ouch. I feel like I was like this when I first started fronting but that was at least 1 year after my creation, when I was already developed. I'd call it more of a ''burnout'' for someone who needs to recharge but can't.

 

On 5/13/2020 at 8:53 PM, Samb said:

I just don't think you will become Miri. It will change you, but Miri had to deal with it all her life, for you it'll be just a few years right? And you have the advantage of a built in support group, Miri was alone. I think you'll recover from this drama a lot easier than she will.

I don't think a tulpa who fronts is eventually going to become a lot like their hosts. The body is used to behave a certain way from all the years the host spent building up those habits, but a lot of them are really easy to change and make them more ''you''.

[Matsuri]

You can view switching a little like taming a beast if you want. You wanna apply your own sense of identity and self over something that is used to be someone else. Behaviors are external, the same with habits, but you can overcome it if you try really really hard, or you could own those really embedded habits that you can't seem to change

Edited May 16, 2020 by Matsuri