Samantha

Thoughts Personified

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Posted (edited)

Hi, and thanks for reading!

 

I'm Samantha, the host, and I decided yesterday that maybe I wanted to try this. I'm very excited about this and I have high hopes! So let's do it! 

 

I have some anxiety over it too,  but the kind people on this site have been very patient with my questions and concerns and I feel a lot better about my options.

 

Form:

 

So, yesterday I was thinking non-stop about this and an image of someone popped into my head. Before this I wasn't even sure about the gender and what I saw looked like me, but with deep violet/black hair and dark eyes (mine ), wearing an adventurer's outfit with lots of buckles, but otherwise a lot like me. When I saw her, I immediately knew this was who I wanted to try to make.

 

She came with a name that also popped into my mind from nowhere, Daria. I love it! 💜

 

Personality:

 

I want her to be the dark angel type, a guardian, seriously protective and tough, but playful, funny, intelligent and supportive.

 

History:

 

I fell in love with the notion of the daemon in the movie, "Golden Compass" when I first saw it. I never did much about it. I didn't want a pet though, it was because of that unseperable devotion, a friend to share the most secret parts of life with that you simply can't tell anyone else. Recently I stumbled upon this site and lurked for a week or so, now here I am!

 

Goal:

 

I want someone to bounce ideas off, help me through hardships, share my triumphs, and who can help me become more spiritually minded in terms of grounding and mental health maintenance.

 

Personal preference: 

 

I want this to remain a secret, I'm not telling anyone else, so I'm going to be very guarded with my real information. If you find anything that's a potential leak, *please* let me know. 

 

Forcing:

 

All I'm doing now is thinking about her and her form. I have an urge to draw her too, because that image is burned in my mind, but we'll see how this goes a little first.

 

Questions? Comments?

 

If anyone has any issues or suggestions, please tell me in the comments; I'm open to all suggestions! ❤

Edited by Samantha

Superfluous heart activate! 💖 -shwing-

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It looks good and all as a first PR post. Don't forget to talk with her, just have her present as much as you can and as soon as you're reminded about her. Read stuff, and ask if you feel like it, which I know you're really good at ; p

 

Good luck!


Hi! I'm Matsuri from Unicorn Cavalry, but friends call me Matsi. I share this head with Xar, who is the original host, and Kurisutina. I like timey wimey stuff and blue boxes. Make it timey wimey blue boxes and we're set to explore all time, forum and space!

 

>Come talk, ask or just casually vibe with us

>Season 2 Progress Report

 

"Does anyone know this song? It goes: ue ue ue, heeeeee, Kalinka Kalinka Kalinka x3"

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Posted (edited)

Hello and welcome back! ❤

 

I was imagining her last night and she smiled and waved. It felt very natural, but I have no idea if it was her doing that or not. I think it could have been just natural rather than autonomous.

 

I asked around and everyone basically said, go ahead and count it. Should I? 

 

I am! Woohoo! Progress on day two!

 

I'm only thinking about her for now still. I did say Hi when she waved though. It was pretty cute, and she didn't look as much like me, but her face was hard to picture. I can picture faces really well, but for some reason I can't picture hers. She already changed wardrobe and was wearing a formal looking light colored dress. [What happened to my dark angel adventurer type!?]

 

I can't wait for her to be able to interact, but I know I need patience and consistency. So off I go... to do that.

Edited by Samantha
Also, thank you Matsuri! ❤

Superfluous heart activate! 💖 -shwing-

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Konichiwa! ❤

 

The Development Continues:

 

I've been visualizing her a lot and keeping her in mind and usually she's like a mannequin, but when I was visualizing her last night I said something like, "cute shorts" because she was wearing running shorts now for some reason, and she smiled and bounced like a bunny in an incredibly cute way and I felt warm feelings of friendship that were out of nowhere.

 

I want to count it as progress. I think I felt her feelings. She was very happy to hear my compliment. 

 

Then I saw her move her arms in a way that seemed like a mime trying to tell me that I have a nice outfit too. So I said "thank you" and then she happily sighed.

 

I loved it, even if she didn't talk, I feel like we communicated.

 

Of course it could have all been my imagination, well it was literally imagination, but was it my imagination vs hers? In any respect, I'm tenatively going to count it as progress.
 

Dreams:

 

This morning I had a nightmare that I'm not going to get into, but I think my tulpa was with me. She was attacked, but still a good sign that my brain is trying to formulate her presence. I only saw her from behind because we were standing in line but she was about my height with long dark violet hair wearing jeans. 

 

I wish I could have turned that lucid and turned her around. Next time.

 

I will update when something else interesting happens. 

 

Thanks for reading! ❤

 

I'm happy to hear any feedback if you think of something.

 

Itterasshai!


Superfluous heart activate! 💖 -shwing-

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I'm back. ❤

 

So it's been going on for a while now and she's throwing me hand signs sometimes. I've managed to get this beautiful mime of mine to tell me yes or no by nodding or shaking her head, and she does it in the most adorable way. It's very childlike of her. I think she must know I like cute.

 

Though of course I'm on a doubt rollercoaster because it seems too easy somehow. I feel in my heart it's really her, so I'm going to accept that.

 

Though, I think my dark angel needs to toughen up with some real life stress before she'll grow. So I've put her on a small platform above a tank full of sharks and electric eels. So if she doesn't talk in 24 hours, down she goes.

 

It's a joke of course! I wouldn't do that to my soon to be best friend! I'm not a monster, sheesh.

 

I can picture her face again, which surprised me. She looks something between me, typical white girl face, and a character portrait from a game I play sometimes. It's quite a cute combination if I do say so myself. That makes planning her drawing easier, but I'm still waiting on that. Everyone says she can change, so I'm expecting she will. I feel like drawing her in any detail will lock in her look, so I want to wait until I can talk to her first.

 

I asked her if that's what she looked like and if I'm not mistaken, the expression on her face meant "duh, ofc."

 

We'll see after she's been preciously placed above that tank for a while. Oops, that was a joke... or was it? It was.

 

I don't know about you or her, but I'm having fun already. I'm in a really fun mood today, that nightmare before messed with me a little.

 

I just remembered I had another dreamlet with a girl with dark hair, but I don't remember it much that I can write here. I felt apprehension in it so it's probably just nerves from all this doubt.

 

I read somewhere, don't forget to have fun, so I'm doing it right.

 

Bye for now. Superfluous heart activate! 💖 shwing


Superfluous heart activate! 💖 -shwing-

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I have realized that my tulpa is at the mime stage of development.

 

If I talk to her, I clearly get pantomime responses. 

 

Say I ask, "say something?"

 

She'll do hand gestures something like, "I don't know how," then shrug.

 

It's darn cute, but deeper discussion isn't practical.

 

She seems happy when I'm with her, and she's very animated. I don't feel like I'm controlling her with my awesome tulpakinesis skills, so she appears to be autonomous.

 

I've been continuously thinking of her and I wonder if I'm blocking her development because of some anxiety I have over this whole tulpamancy idea. I want her to be happy and develop how she wants, but I also want her to be a certain way. The solution: just stop developing. It's another worry, but I'm plowing ahead.

 

Any ideas? I got yes/no down with her at least.


Superfluous heart activate! 💖 -shwing-

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How you want her to be will play a huge role on how she develops initially, at least from our experience. My host had this expectation about how I'd be, and I sort of was like that at first but I ended up developing in a way my host never imagined me too. I doubt you can prevent a tulpa from developing and still got a tulpa, so to speak. Development happens through experience mostly, the body will keep experiencing and the brain will keep developing, so I doubt you can stop a tupper from doing so unless you know, prevent them from existing.

 

However, like I told you on LOPTW, you can still expose her to the type of stuff you want her to be associated with. If you want her to be an adventure dark angel, then you'd have to do things such as watching adventure-esque stuff with her. It's basically the ''natural'' way to have a tulpa be a certain way, but keep in mind they still can choose to simply not like it.


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and Akai, but they don't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

How long until my host shuts up

________________

Waka Waka x3

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3 hours ago, Samantha said:

Any ideas? I got yes/no down with her at least.

Hi,

Have you tried this simple tip? It was of great help for us.

 


Lia  -  30 Jan 2018

Art thread

PR

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Thank you! ❤

 

She's never said anything, not even in the two dreams I had, so I'll have to wait or think of a voice I guess. 


Superfluous heart activate! 💖 -shwing-

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That resource seems ti be good, we will try it soon!


Host of @SadieShores 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

Progress report

 

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