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Hi! Sorry for the title, I didn't know exactly how to phrase it. Also, this sounds like a lot of the posts here, but it is actually different.
Anyway, I recently started creating my tulpa, but I want to feel her presence more often. Whenever I can remember, I try to narrate to her, but sometimes I forget to actually think about her and am just talking to myself. I also can't remember to constantly think about her, because I get distracted pretty easily and sometimes have to concentrate on something a lot. I know you don't have to constantly talk to tulpas, but I know it can be beneficial and I like talking to her.
(I also do active forcing sometimes, but not as often as passive)
Thank you for answering!
This was the original post containing the question, which has been deemed the OP of this thread. If you would like to see the original thread, please go here. -Ranger
It was not my intent to start a thread about this and I don't like that it was decided to make it my thread. My personal feelings about gateway systems and soulbonds of all kinds are contentious and controversial in this community at times because of the possible consequences, real or imagined, regarding roleplaying and supposed "proper" system architecture. I won't say more because this sort lf argument becomes divisive quickly and I really didn't want to discuss it formally anymore.
My comments herein have been edited for clarity in light of the context of a new thread.
Some things can't be proven or disproven.
I apply occam's razor but I have to be careful because "a wizard did it" is dang simple as far as explanations go, but it's completely ungrounded and baseless. It's equally important to at least entertain falsifiablility before you come to the conclusion that "it's a parallel dimension."
The subconscious mind is so vast and unknown, no metaphysical notions are even necessary. If a whole other and much more complex construction can run in your subconscious mind, who needs anything else. Look up the computation power of the human brain and you'll find there's plenty of headroom for virtually anything. As long as you're comfortable with that, and explore it, the power of this is effectively boundless as it's possible that it vastly overshadows consious thought.
Remember the complexities of your most vivid and varied dream, that's a lower bound.
So I do a lot of mindfulness, as in, daily mindfulness meditation for almost two years, with other mindfulness stuff featured (walking, eating, body scans etc), to the point of having experiences bordering the psychedelic in intensity ("being so present you kinda stop existing and feel everything at once", for lack of a better description), and I notice as I further engage with this practice, my dissociation radically declines. I used to have heavy depersonalisation-derealisation disorder and was very "unintegrated" as a person, like I lived in a very foggy state of mind and my sense of self was fragmented and discontinuous and I maladaptively daydreamed, whereas now things feel more real than they ever have, and I can make sense of myself as a person, although there's still work to be done. I do have a tulpa per se, had her for a few years, but since a major breakdown two years ago, she's been in er, "low-energy mode", and has regressed substantially, and until now I've not had the time or space to really resume practice more than a "5 minute maintenance".
Hence my question: is mindfulness practice anathema to tulpamancy, and/or vice versa? Given it drastically reduces dissociation, and tulpamancy may augment it. On the other hand, did not the concept of Tulpas arise from Buddhist practices, of which mindful breath-focus meditations are a staple (Vipassana, Jhana etc)?
Has anyone out there got experiences with both of these things? Are they reconcilable? Like, am I just cancelling out the tulpa with mindfulness, or invoking DP/DR with tulpamancy?
I apologize if this isn't the correct place for this, but if you are going to move it, please notify me so I know where to go, thanks!
So I think we might be a gateway system, or soulbounds, or possibly a combination.
My understanding of a gateway system: A system that A) has connections to other realms, and the head-mates are able to enter and exit those realms as they please, and B) A system that is mainly comprised of non-permanent walk-in head-mates.
Soulbounds I don't totally understand, but something I saw (on a Wikki,) seemed to depict them as more permanent.
why we might be a gateway system:
We have had a looooottt of head-mates through the ages. Around 10+ different ones, and some who "changed" completely. Now where did they go? I... don't know. Some of them, we decided they were going to explore the real world because my mind wasn't suited for them, sometimes this was "the real world" other times they would go other places, I'm not certain where, but they weren't in my mind any more. Ethel has lots of memories from another dimension. She keeps remembering more, and some are becoming clearer. We realllllyyy easily get walk-ins who I basically invalidate so much they disappear.* These can simply be characters who I attach to and begin to have conversations with, or just a pretty Pinterest drawing character. Sometimes they are simply made-up characters in my mind, but other times they seem to actually have a mind of their own. And for the second, no matter how hard I try, we can't (typically) keep a head-mate for over a few months, some are exceptions. I have only truly done the technical tulpa creation process for... two. Two tulpas. One who was a merge, and my first tulpa.
We are a completely endogenic system, but I think that they can still be gateway systems.
I have some questions/concerns about being a gateway system. The following could be interpreted as invalidating gateway systems, I am not trying to do that, I just do that sometimes to myself.
-What are other gateway systems experiences?
-Are there any things that could also be considered gateway system "things"?
-Does it sound like I am a part of a gateway system?
-Is it normal that even though I could be a gateway system, we also struggle with possession and switching?
-I can't do anything that the others can do (portal-going wise), because I am the host. Is that correct?
I feel like I might just be faking this... like I know I'm not faking any of my experiences, and I feel so connected to this concept, but there's the little voice in the middle of my mind that shouts "your just faking this!! You can't be a part of a gateway system!!!"
I do connect to the term, but it also makes me a little nervous, I feel really attached to my current head-mates, and I don't want them to leave.
*I don't know how to stop this behavior. I have no idea how many head-mates I would have if I let them be, but they do leave naturally, especially when there is more than three of us. And being a bigger system feels so natural and comforting. (This is connecting to my other * in which I said "We realllllyyy easily get walk-ins who I basically invalidate so much they disappear.")
I haven't always noticed this at the time it's happening, but looking back I can see plenty of examples. I used to just blame this on having a big imagination, and so I would "imagine" they went on a trip to spain, or had lots of memories that even I couldn't come up with. Of course, there's a 40-50% chance that this is just me having a big imagination.
do I even understand what a gateway system is? Is it even fair for me to possibly consider myself part of one?
I might be a part of a gateway system, a term I really connect to, but I do have skeptical feelings about myself being one. I'm not even sure I understand what they are. From my understanding, I match it, but from another's understanding, I might not be it at all. I think that since I connect to this in a way I don't normally connect to something, it could be a sign. (Why I think I am a gateway system: We are super prone to walk-ins, and have had a LOT of head-mates who were pretty short-term. They also went just... away. Like into a different realm, as I "imagined")
I would really appreciate some feedback and guidance about this. I can give more information on any of these things, just ask.
Thanks to anyone who responds : )
(After more reading on soulbounds, I do not believe we are soulbounds, but someone else might believe otherwise.
I don't have notifications button, messages or link to switch accounts anymore on mobile and I don't know any other way to get those. They work on Desktop.