What's a good age for a tulpa to start using the body?

[Jamie]

How old? My gut response is about 3 or 4 months, and that's a bit early imo, but I think a tulpa can safely have bodily experiences that young and have it be beneficial. When Cassidy was about that young, it just so happened that I was left alone in private for many hours in the school day, and so Cassidy would spend an hour or two every day at my desk, doing little worksheets and working on his handwriting- that was an important early experience for him. It was also about his limit. Nowadays Cassidy can use the body for a full 24 hours and regularly uses it for 6ish at a time, but when he was under 1 1/2 years, his limit was more like 3 or 4 hours, and only 1 or 2 hours was comfortable.

 

I'm not thinking about, "Old enough to replace me as host", or any ideas like that. I'm thinking about new tulpamancers: how long would you tell them to wait before letting the tulpa start using the body? 

 

3 or 4 months, again, is what I would answer. "Tulpas can start using the body for short times at around 3 or 4 months." I think it's just old enough for the tulpa to have enough of their own identity to not be squiked out and have identity problems when using the body. Anything younger than that, and there's not enough of a tulpa there to really use the body imo- it'll depend on the tulpa and the host of course. If the system is already experienced and there are older tulpa siblings, maybe even 2 months would be alright, but that's still kinda pushing it.

 

Agree, disagree? Think 3 or 4 months is too short? 

[Ranger]

For possession I believe as early as your tulpa is ready to try it, but that's secretly code for 1-4 months. A tulpa that's uncomfortable with possessing the body could be struggling with parrotnoia fears or in my case fear that Gray wouldn't believe it's me controlling the body. It took me about 6-7 months before I figured out possession, but given our anxiety I think we're an outlier.

 

For switching, I think a system should start with possession first and that will determine what they do next. If they instantly get switching, then I guess things are probably okay enough to start out but they need to have a serious discussion about trust. If they struggle to learn how to switch, that's not such a bad thing because that gives them plenty of time to practice controlling the body and develop trust. If the system is still struggling with switching for a really long time, I have a working theory there's an underlying problem that needs to be addressed first and until that is resolved, switching could be problematic for them.

 

I don't think it's necessary to say "wait 1-4 months" because in theory, people will need to wait that long anyway. I'm not opposed to recommending to wait for 3-4 months, but I think it's important to consider that's an artificial barrier that like hour counts, may or may not apply to everyone.

 

I'm less worried about identity development because you can gain a lot of development by possessing. I think trust matters more, especially with switching.

[Luminesce]

The question is way too open-ended, I was by default thinking in years lol. "3 or 4 months" isn't even long enough for a lot of tulpas to be comfortably vocal yet.

 

Tulpas should learn possession/switching when:

1) They have a strong sense of self/identity

2) They and their host both have an interest in the experience

 

And then some other things to consider, like making sure a tulpa is mature enough to handle fronting, and isn't going to do childish things or say, say stuff that isn't in the host's best interest. Assuming that stuff is not the case though, then really they just need to have an interest in it, and be developed enough that they know for sure who they are compared to their host. I want to say "and aren't dealing with strong doubts related to their identity/existence", but some people learn possession/switching specifically to help with that, so I guess I'm neutral on that aspect.

[Guest]

For reference, Ren was only a few weeks "old" when she switched in and had no issues doing that. Like Joy, she immediately put everyone else into dormancy. What she did was a good experience for us, though she did things I wouldn't normally have allowed. She hasn't switched in for any significant length of time since, she has no desire to. 

 

Like Lumi said, she wasn't 100% on familiar with our rules yet. I wouldn't call her immature, but she just wasn't well versed.

 

Once you learn switching, I feel like any accepted headmate can do it if you trust them.

 

A sense of identity and vocality are both a plus, but I don't think they're strictly necessary. 

Edited March 11, 2021 by BearBaeBeau

[ChloeBee]

Simmie's been a "proper" tulpa for about 4 months now and she's curious about possession, but she doesn't think she's quite ready yet. She's managed to twitch my arm a few times but that's it so far. For her it's not really an identity issue: We're a bit like the ying-yang symbol when it comes to gender; there's a little bit of curiosity about the other side for each of us and Simmie's really curious what it would feel like to "drive" this taller, stronger male body. It's just that we're not sure it would really be her doing it and not just me moving myself around for her. We'll probably revisit the idea in a little while but for now neither of us think Simmie's quite ready for possession.