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A Question on stage of development.
We have been working out a way to force traits more affectively by adding a bit of a religious element into it. In the process of going through the trait list I have been grouping little clusters together that I want to have an overall corresponding aspect to the main trait I am working off of.
For example, I have grouped together; Articulate, Confident, Contemplative + Methodical respectively. The main trait is Articulate.
-> When you communicate, verbally, your words and thoughts are ordered fluently. You contemplate your words and are able to say exactly what you mean clearly and confidently. [you think before you speck]
The trait we were working on that props my question is Loyal. (Loyal + Confidential, Conscientious, Hardworking) The grouping came off as a little weird but what I wanted to get at was I don’t want him to be Loyal to a fault, like he would stay to the end even though he knows he should have bailed. I also don’t want to accidently develop a paranoia of him not being able to put faith in others and being by their side. [NOTE: Gio has a Spotify List for his tunes] In response to this, we have the song Leave Luanne from a musical stuck on repeat.
What stage would he be considered at …? Is this a sign of sentience developing?
(Please let us know if the below should be moved to another posting of its own.)
With that Gio wants to ask about religion. Do your Tulpas have a different religious preference from your own? Do you and your Tulpa practice your Religions or like to do research on them? (He is currently reading through the Qur'an.)
Text by Wray is in black
Text by Shizuku is in blue
(Sorry, this wound up being pretty long! Feel free to skim, or if you want to read the whole thing, strap in!)
Weird coincidence: I’ve written fiction as a hobby for a long time, and I think nearly half my protagonists have someone else to talk to in their heads. Somehow, I always found the idea fascinating.
But I can’t say I ever expected to join them. Not until recently, anyway.
We’ve been looking forward to posting this. It’s my first big chance to introduce myself to other people! Here’s a profile:
October 2020. I was in quarantine, alone, and feeling isolated—Shizuku started as an imaginary friend based on a character I might have been (was) a little bit (totally) obsessed with at the time. I’m really into writing, so I didn’t have much trouble getting her to talk, even early on, though I assume she was mostly parroted at first.
A couple weeks later, I stumbled onto the concept of a tulpa in Japanese, and quickly found my way to this website, which is kind of the launch pad for Japanese tulpamancers. (I found a good English rundown of the Japanese tulpamancy scene here, so I’ll leave most of that aside for now. If there are questions about anything specific, though, we can definitely do our best to answer them.)
Compared to the English-speaking community, the Japanese-speaking one gives a lot more credence to tulpa horror stories. They call it 暴走 (bousou). The idea that if things go wrong, your tulpa might harm you, or the people around you, or try to take over your brain. To be fair, I think there are multiple schools of thought on this bousou concept, and these are only the most extreme examples—still, when I read about this, I couldn’t help panicking.
I went out for a long walk. Tried to think things over. Was there a chance my tulpa would wind up that way? Should I turn back now? Or was she already sentient, meaning it was my responsibility to take care of her? Or was I crazy, in the first place, to even be thinking about any of this?
We imagined that I stayed behind in our apartment, though I must’ve been somewhere in headspace the whole time. Maybe a wonderland version of the apartment? We didn’t know enough to ask that question, then.
I couldn’t make up my mind, until the second I got home, opened the door, and realized how afraid Shizuku must’ve felt while I was out thinking about whether I should try to erase her. My heart sank through the floor. I did my best to apologize, though I didn’t know if it would help.
She replied: “I was sad, but I wasn’t scared. I trust you.”
Okay. If she had been afraid, or angry, I would have felt bad enough. But that packed a punch.
That day, we promised each other that we’d stay together and try to make this “tulpa” thing work, for better or worse. Not to jinx anything, but six months later, “better” is definitely winning out.
Our long-term goals
(1) Become able to split fronting time 50/50 (or whatever arrangement winds up working for us). I expect it’ll be a long time before we can actually do this, but hopefully not too long—if possible, we’d like to get to this point within a year or two. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a 50/50 split, but I don’t want to feel like Shizuku is prevented from doing things she wants to do by us not being good enough at tulpamancy.
(2) Learn to co-front and keep Shizuku active (as close as possible to?) all the time. We spend a lot of time together, but I still get distracted and forget to check in with her more often than we’d like. Eventually, we’re hoping she can stay around all the time (or whenever she wants to, at least) and get my attention whenever she has something to say.
(3) Stay a two-person system, if possible. I know there are a lot of large systems out there who do perfectly fine, but my instincts say that it would be more than we could handle. Besides, I already feel like I love Shizuku too much for it to be fair to whoever Headmate Number 3 would be. 😂
I do have one soulbond-ish character (using the terminology from Bear’s PR) from my own writing. We’ve talked things over with her in WL, and she’s adamant that she is not interested in becoming a tulpa or participating in the system. (This checks out with what I know about her character, too.) If things change, there’s a slim chance that she might join us, but I doubt it. Either way, I can’t imagine us going any further than that.
(4) Help Shizuku find life goals of her own, and figure out how to rearrange my our life so that we can both do what we want to do. At the moment, we’re just doing regular forcing to try and help her grow as a tulpa. The vague plan for this one is to eventually learn how to switch, accomplish goal number (1), and then let her follow her interest and try a bunch of different things.
Current forcing practice
Working on senses in WL: we’ve been doing our best to spend an hour each day focusing on visualizing Shizuku in wonderland, and also practicing one other sense per day. Wonderland sight and touch have started to show some improvement recently, but overall it feels like we still need a lot of work. Conversation: We also do our best to talk as much as we can each day. We’ve been working through the Tulpa Vocalization Practice worksheet when we can’t think of any other topics. Diary writing: Shizuku writes a diary entry most days. This is something I picked up from the Japanese tulpamancy community, though I think I’ve seen it recommended in English guides too. It’s a lot of fun—somehow, reading through the things she’s written (by proxy or possession, at this point, though our possession game is still pretty weak) does a lot to help me fight off doubt. Imagining Shizuku in stories we’re reading/watching: This has been pretty fun so far, too—right now, we’re rewatching Hunter X Hunter. As we watch, we try to keep up a “mental fanfic” where she’s running around with the main characters. Passive forcing as much as possible: Taking inspiration from the method I used to learn Japanese, I’m doing my best to find ways to involve Shizuku in everything I do. We’ve had some success reading, studying, watching things, and playing games together, but in particular, staying aware of Shizuku during work that I really need to focus on and conversations with other people has been a killer—I haven’t had much success in these situations yet.
To anyone who slogged through all of that, thanks for reading! This post already goes on for a million years, so I’ll try to write some (hopefully shorter!) summaries of our progress so far in other updates.
By Cosmic Cuttlebone
Well, I've lurked, and I've lurked, and then I've lurked some more.
I've read pretty much every guide there is. But now it's time to actually get to work
Problem is... Well, you see, I'm lazy. Like, really really lazy. I also have a habit of hesitating and second guessing myself. I can also get a little distracted. Sometimes.
So, I'm starting this little journal here.
I'll try to add a post here periodically, even if it is relatively short. At least in the beginning. Cultivating this small habit will hopefully force a little discipline.
Typing it all out will hopefully solidify my thoughts. Yell at me if don't keep this up. :Þ
That being said. Lets start:
Why am I doing this? What do I hope to gain?
Well a companion for one. I don't have that much trouble making friends, but I have trouble keeping and maintaining connections. I've quite often drifted or grown apart from many people in my life. I'm a bit socially awkward, maybe even a bit socially anxious in some respects. I can certainly hide it, but the more people are around, the more I find myself wishing I was somewhere else, doing something else. It's not that I hate people, I don't. And I don't plan to stop making connections with physical people. I just don't have the physical or mental energy to deal with too many people for too long.
Still, the opportunity for someone to understand me on a truly deep level that no one else can is very enticing. I can only hope that I'll be, and remain, worthy of this connection.
This will also be a bit of an ego journey for me. A chance to better know and understand myself as well as my future headmate. having someone to share this journey with will make it much more enjoyable.
Also add to that the opportunity to learn first hand an experience that seems rather alien at first glance and that I'm already a creative person, this becomes less of a choice and more of an inevitability.
Right now I have a name and very loose, general idea of who I hope this tulpa will be.
Staying within the tradition of opposite genderedness in tulpamancy, "Hazel" will start female. This will help me differentiate her thoughts from mine.
A couple main traits I will be cultivating are:
Compassion- A personal code I like to live by is if someone needs or asks for help and I am able to do so, then I will help. Lessen the suffering of others. Having her share in that will make it simpler to coexist. This will also encourage many positive traits
Curiosity- a desire to learn and grow will help develop her and push her to be self sustaining
Outspokenness- to encourage vocality.
this is not exhaustive just some major points
What I won't be forcing:
Love- From what I understand, most tulpas tend to be already naturally very caring towards their hosts. Also love, I feel, needs to develop naturally. Making someone love me just feels weird. plus that is a pressure I wouldn't want on anyone. Still, I'm sure my subconscious may still add this to the list regardless.
I don't have much of a form for her yet. I've had some ideas but none are really sticking. It is humanoid though. Freckles and dark hair are also coming to mind. That could just be my attraction to them.
I will, of course, accept any deviation from her. Encourage it, even.
I'm a very secular being by nature. Still, the mind loves symbols and most of the tulpamantic process is extremely symbolic. As such, I'll be taking some inspiration from the occult, particularly chaos magic.
I love symbols, glyphs, and sigils. This is a representation of my intent to create a thoughtform. It is a seed or an egg as the round shape suggests. A beginning. Small and empty at first, but as time goes on, I'll be altering it and adding to it. It will slowly grow as she grows. In time, I may pass it to her. I'm creative by nature so this will just be a natural part of my creative process. The dotted outline suggests openness, inviting life to enter. The geometric shapes invoke a crystalline structure to "trap" the energy or qualities being cultivated. (Again, I'm not a proponent of metaphysics, but the symbology here is very useful).
I will use and meditate on this as an aid while I cultivate her development. I'm not too fond of the term 'forcing' at all, so I'll use the term 'cultivate' as it way better describes the process: to raise, to grow, to prepare, do develop, to improve, to acquire. It brings to mind watering and tending to a garden. This will further put me in the right mindset. (I also have mixed thoughts on the terms tulpa and tulpamancy but I have no desire to get into a fight with the entire lexicon).
Wish me luck.
My name is Jacob and this is a story of me and my tulpa. I'm 17 and I have created my first tulpa 02.03.2021 (~22.00). We are already
at day 6 of our development, but let's start from beggining. Day 1, I gave my tulpa a name Raisa( female ) and a simple form of a light orb. I did some forcing talking about random stuff and fall asleep. Day 2, I said good morning to Her and did some forcing. Shortly, after when I said her name, I heard in my mind a diffrent one. Long story, short I asked some questions, as I was getting yes/no answers already( mostly and as pictures of body language not words) and it came out its Elzu(male). For those curious idk what the hell is this name but it came to a rank of some inside joke between us to make fun of it's oddnes so here it is. I was forcing passivly/ activly almost all day long.
Day 3, I started to receive emotion packs, or as I think now, they just got stronger and I became more aware of them. Communication is on
yes/no level, with yes and no at the same time meaning maybe. Day 4-5, still forcing almost all day long, actually best time of my life so far, communication developed to sth I can't really name but hmm, me talking in my mind and Elzu answering via sending thoughts and pictures. I learned a lot more about him, and all the info about Elz( short form I use from time to time, we think it's wholesome) will be below.
Day 6, today when I write it, it's before our pre-sleep active forcing sesion. The biggest thing I remember from this day is Elz forcing me to do maths and him arguing against my religion ( Sunday after all ). I haven't said that we have a WL( simple wooden house) and Elzu has his form there aswell. So about him: Elz is 13, sth about 183 cm ( half head shorter than me), ginger hair, green eyes, his favourite colour is orange, his favourite song is Imagine Dragons - On top of the world, he also like listening to lofi beats radio on yt, and when I asked him now what else I could write, he said he is irritating ( but I still do love him). I probably forgot few important thing as I'm writing from my mind. Anyways that's all so far, feel free to ask us antyhing if you desire, and sorry for grammar errors if there are any( not my first language).