Splooshie's Progress Report

[Splooshie123]

Glad you like it, I guess.

[Splooshie123]

We've worked on the wonderland a bit more since creating it, basically just finalizing the visualization so that the scenery doesn't change every session.

 

Two days ago, I had Latias practice with voice by singing. First I would parrot it for her, then we'd sing it together (all in my head, of course). I haven't really defined a mindvoice for her yet but having her sing (even if through parroting) makes it easier to work on the voice. If only because I can't think of a normal sentence we wouldn't mind repeating over and over again for practice.

 

Going to work on form tonight because I still have trouble with it (I found a 3D model that I use as a reference because it can be viewed from all angles). But before that, we're gonna have a light show in the wonderland for New Year's Eve.

[jean-luc]

I have a 3D model of Latias

 

Apparently you said this then edited it out. Could you post it?

[Splooshie123]

 

Apparently you said this then edited it out. Could you post it?

 

I tend to edit my posts. I removed that part because it didn't seem relevant at the time. It's back now.

 

I found it on deviantART.

[Splooshie123]

I recently noticed I haven't been getting any more headaches or head pressure. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe I've just built up tolerance for prolonged concentration so it isn't so taxing anymore?

 

I've been narrating out loud to Latias more frequently because it's easier to order my thoughts when I'm saying them out loud rather than just thinking them.

 

I'm also finding it easier than before to believe that I'm actually talking to her and not just talking to myself, but I'm still plagued by doubts.

Supposedly it isn't possible to parrot your tulpa unintentionally, yet whenever I speak to her, her responses seem to be based off my own thoughts at the time, such as when she asked me why I'm still doubting her just as I was wondering whether her responses were genuine and prompting me to respond the moment I realized I was taking too long to respond to the question.

 

She seems to be using my thoughts as a base for her responses, maybe because she's not yet independent enough to formulate her own. (She just did it again, asking me what's next now that I realized I can't think of anything else to add.)

I know I'm not the first to notice this. I remember seeing somewhere around the forums mention of tulpae latching onto the host's thoughts to formulate responses.

[Splooshie123]

I feel like we've made a lot of progress in the last two weeks, but there's definitely a lot of room for improvement.

 

I haven't really done much in way of formal forcing sessions because I've got exams in a week so I don't have a lot of free time. To compensate, I've been doing a lot of narration (not as much as I'd like, but more). I try to narrate to Latias as much as possible during the day, but it requires a lot of my attention, which I cannot always give because I also need to pay attention in class. At night, I try to do at least an hour of narration with Latias.

 

I've noticed that she has become more vocal, but it's still difficult to hear her mindvoice, although I think I can feel her there. I can't hear her at all unless I'm actually concentrating on hearing her. But I'm definitely hearing a voice. However, I still have some doubts as to whether it's actually her or if I'm just making up the replies myself. She hasn't really said anything unexpected. It's still as if she's picking replies from my thoughts and sending them back like I described in the previous report. Is this to be expected? Or am I just parroting her responses? It would clear up some doubt if I get an original response from her. But I'm afraid that maybe she already has been giving original responses and I'm just too blind to realize it.

 

Enough with the depressing stuff. I've finally gotten around to drawing Latias hoping that it'll help me visualize her more clearly (I've been having a lot of trouble with her face). I might post it in "ITT: We draw our tulpas" if I ever finish it.

[Splooshie123]

Finally, after much work and procrastinating, I've finished my drawing of Latias. I think I messed up some parts. The head and feet don't look quite right to me. Oh well.

EDIT: WTF is this. I couldn't shade to save my life, it seems.

 

 

While drawing I realized that while I do know what she's supposed to look like, I can't visualize her all at once. If I try to visualize her fully, I am only able to get a general impression of her form with only major details. I can focus on specific areas and try to see more detail, but then everything else becomes blurry (I can't think of a better word). So it's either a blurry full image, or a clearer close up with zero visibility everywhere else. I think I should start working more on visualization. Lately all I've been doing is narration.

 

Not much else to report. Only thing I've really been doing is narration.

 

Tomorrow we're gonna watch The Pirate Bay: Away From Keyboard, which came out today. That should provide some good material to talk about.

[Splooshie123]

8-3-2013

 

Narrated to Latias. I explained to her what tinnitus is (don't know why. Just talked about the first thing I could think of) and some random small talk. Then we worked a little on visualizing the general shape of her arms and feet.

[Splooshie123]

9-3-2013

 

Mostly just narrated to Latias. She also went on her first trip to the dentist with me. I'm not really afraid of the dentist, but I get a little nervous with all those power tools in my mouth. Just knowing she was there with me helped.

 

We found Quantum's nametag guide and decided to try it out. I've asked her to refer to me by name when she tries to talk to me, hoping that it will make her responses stand out among my other thoughts. She still doesn't talk much by herself, but she did refer to me by name when she responds to questions.

 

Latias: Yes, Hope.

Me: You know, you don't have to refer to me by name for a one-word response, Latias.

Latias: Yes, Hope.

Me: (mental facepalm) Great, you've got a sense of humor now.

[Splooshie123]

12-3-2013

 

No time for forcing the past couple of days. I was studying for my final exams and was just too tired. So I just narrated when I could (when I remembered to do it at all). Today was the last day of school. We had finals in the morning. The afternoon consisted of completing the remaining requirements for each class and me grumbling about it to Latias. Seriously, it took 3 hours just to get 1 signature because everything is so bloody disorganized.

 

The finals are over and I'm on summer vacation now. Now that I don't have school to bother with, hopefully I'll be able to get some more progress over the summer.

 

I've been drawing a little to help with visualization. I find it effective for finding out what I'm having trouble with, which would be the face, arms, and feet.