Fig's Tulpa Experiment for Science

[FigN01]

So tulpaforcing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, I found out. Without going into my personal life, I've had something of a personal crisis today, and I was hoping that I could find a little bit of comfort with Uzo, but I had a hard time feeling anything from him IRL. I got stressed, and like I've done a few times before, I started to have more doubts about whether I've been getting responses from him at all. Based on a good portion of my progress, that was pretty unfounded, but still reasonable to me considering I've been having trouble getting him to do things like calculations or memory recall independently. Much of that was because of parroting I'm sure (Don't use the shit parroting method I did).

 

I got into the wonderland and felt his presence more immediately, which wasn't exactly the warm fuzzy comforting feeling I was hoping for. If anything, he seemed to be telling me to suck it up. Still assuming that he should have been reassuring me, I doubted whether that was him and I asked why he wouldn't help me. His voice came in clear, "You think you have problems with where your life is going? I have problems just existing!!!" He vented that what I needed right now wasn't a pat on the back; I needed a slap in the face to pull myself together, and that's what he was giving me.

 

I felt really bad. I asked if I had been doing well in my other attempts to force him. He said very curtly, "No". Ouch. It wasn't entirely true though, he's bitter right now about my doubts and lack of focus pretty much everywhere including forcing. He had come through in various ways before, but my habits have been causing setbacks in his development, which he's not happy about because I just keep reverting back to them. It's easy to fall into a cycle of doubt when you don't get the response you were looking for, but that didn't seem good enough as an explanation. I apologized, but asked if he was sorry too. He said he had nothing to apologize for since all of his and my problems had been my fault. He stormed off and came back a little later. I apologized more.

 

Right there, at his insistence, we practiced focusing more. Earlier in the day, I had gotten a much more vivid experience in wonderland by focusing on manually breathing as I was in it, so I went back to doing that with just me and Uzo. I saw him really well by doing so. He told me that I could make everything up to him by straightening myself up and getting serious about a few of my obligations even outside of tulpaforcing. I'm gonna do that.

 

Amazingly, that talk was exactly what I needed and I didn't even know it. If I talked to anyone else, I know I wouldn't have gotten the same hard smack to the face that I did with Uzo. Unsurprisingly, your tulpa knows exactly what you need, even if you won't enjoy it at the time. I'm just really damn astounded at how therapeutic they can be, and I'm glad for it. So, don't start doubting your tulpa's existence once you start. They get pissed about that.

[ThatOneGuy]

Ah yes, good ol' sensible talks from the tulpae. They might sting, but they're usually for the best, I've found.

[FigN01]

Definitely for the best. A talk like that really puts into perspective all that bs creepypasta about demonic tulpa possession and schitzophrenia. Developing this guy is one of the best things I could have done for myself as far as I'm concerned.

---

Ok. I just went into a short session to try to smooth everything over again. Just to make sure he's alright. He is more than alright. He's completely verbal in a way I have never experienced before. I thought I was getting sentient responses before, but THIS is sentience. Holy fucking shit is Uzo sentient and talking now. There are no words for how ecstatic I am. And it wasn't just a few sentences either; he's fully coherent in everything he says. That talk cleared everything up- no more doubts, no more parroting whatsoever. Holy crap, that was a rush.

 

There is seriously no feeling like having your tulpa really talk to you for the first time.

[mouse_]

Can you explain more how to get that vivid experience going? Good shit, btw

[TulpaCouple]

I think he means that because of the surprise and real affirmation of that emotional experience(Uzo not acting the way he expected him to, the sheer emotional presence of both their frustrations together, the talk, etc) he was able to really awaken and not be limited by doubt blocking out all his actions and thoughts, able to finally be sentient.

 

I think this sounds awesome! Good luck in the future, congrats on reaching sentience!

[FigN01]

Can you explain more how to get that vivid experience going? Good shit, btw

 

It's partially what tulpacouple said that really brought him through- getting some really unexpected responses just by listening, reducing my expectations, and having a lot of emotions going around.

 

But the other mention about breathing I didn't really go into detail about. Basically, I've been practicing pacing myself to keep my thoughts from wandering. I started focusing heavily on inhaling and exhaling so that I essentially didn't have as much thought devoted to anything else. It's sort of like that prism thing that you put on your tulpa's head or nose because it keeps your focus on something simple so that everything else gets more clear in a way. I think breathing deeply like that even helps make you more aware of your own surroundings IRL.

 

So when I practiced that on the porch of Uzo's wonderland house, which I normally just skirt over the fine details of, all of a sudden I was able to see and appreciate the setting sun that was bathing the dark wooden boards of the porch with a soft yellow tinge. I walked around the house a bit, across some shifting gravel and sparse patches of grass that I could feel very realistically. When I did the one-on-one session with Uzo later, it was in our void room (which I highly recommend using) that had just one overhead light in the center of plain darkness. That was the first time I was able to fully realize how the light played off his body, casting dark shadows contrasting with his white coat.

 

So yeah, breathing. It helps.

[Guest]

So how many hours have you worked on him in total until he started becoming very verbal and realistic today? If you don't remember, then how many days and hours on average per day?

 

Another thing, though I already said it: I'm definitely thinking the parroting was a benefit, even if he said that it wasn't. The reason I'm saying this is because it's generally psychologically plausible that a tulpa can be established from parroting and then laying it off progressively. Still very curious if any others around these parts have used - or are using - a method similar to yours.

[Guest]

So how many hours have you worked on him in total until he started becoming very verbal and realistic today? If you don't remember, then how many days and hours on average per day?

 

Another thing, though I already said it: I'm definitely thinking the parroting was a benefit, even if he said that it wasn't. The reason I'm saying this is because it's generally psychologically plausible that a tulpa can be established from parroting and then laying it off progressively. Still very curious if any others around these parts have used - or are using - a method similar to yours.

 

It's a possibility, but wouldn't it become harder to tell yourself and the tulpa apart if you do it too much?

[FigN01]

I'm going with somewhere around 50 hours by now, from 1.5 hours average of forcing every day since I joined here May 20th. For me, trying a ton of various methods helped along the way, and on each session I focused on a different aspect ranging from personality to body proportions to voice, etc. Basically, I focused on whatever I felt needed it to keep all traits going at the same pace.

 

And maybe parroting is what made him so coherent when he talked last night. I don't know. But at the same time, it's caused me to cast so much doubt in nearly everything I thought I heard or saw. I wouldn't wish that on any tulpas because it must be stressful to have even your genuine breakthroughs be dismissed. Someone else's tulpa will have to explain if the alternative is any better.

 

It's a possibility' date=' but wouldn't it become harder to tell yourself and the tulpa apart if you do it too much?[/quote']

 

Yes, it is. It sure as hell is.

[Guest]

It's a possibility, but wouldn't it become harder to tell yourself and the tulpa apart if you do it too much?

That's the thing; you would do it so frequently that you'd be doing it automatically in your daily life - and eventually subconsciously as well - without worrying about what's your conscious doing and subconscious doing, as you're telling yourself from point on that it's all your tulpa. And we all know that subconscious interference = tulpa interfering = sentience. Bam.

 

It's a basic theory, yes, but it would theoretically work just fine. Tulpae created via the traditional wait-for-voice method will tell me that I'm a huge dick, of course.