The log of a Baptist Tulpamancer

[Yori]

I'm not quite following you. Most people give that as a reason why we are not supposed to expect things from him, thus -rely on- him, at least in big ways.

 

And no, you need to slow down and read what I said - just as blame is "passed down" on us by the god of Abraham, some people want to "pass down" blame to white people, because other white people once enslaved black people. Neither victimhood nor wrongdoings can be passed down - meaning one can't blame descendants or hold them responsible for something someone else did. I simply meant that. It's wrong to do so.

[Merkwürdige Liebe]

I realized now why Claire left, she had become my idol. I placed more importance on her than my savior. As a result of losing Claire for a time, my faith is stronger.

 

I'm glad you realize that. I can see how her death and resurrection would strengthen your faith. Thank Lord for it.

[Hound]

Well, things have been interesting. A fair bit happened yesterday so I'm gonna break things up into separate posts.

 

Late yesterday afternoon I decided to work on my visualization.

 

I "warped in" just out side of the log house. I stared at the door and carefully tried bringing each part of it into focus. The door is held shut with a single sliding bolt that has two prongs on each side of the door frame. I went inside and bolted the door behind me. I took a look at the interior.

 

When I looked at the empty corner to my right I saw Claire sitting in a chair at a table. She had apparently been reading and looked up from her book and greeted me.

 

I noticed the fire from last night had burned down to a few coals and told Claire I was heading outside again to fetch some wood from the pile. She nodded and said, "Alright," and returned to her reading.

 

I went back outside and headed left around the building to the small stack of wood just under the first window. I got myself five pieces and did my best to feel the weight of each piece and how they added up on my left arm. Before turning around I glanced inside the window, I hadn't noticed it but Claire was wearing some black outfit. It looked like a variant of Fran's dress she wore at the Pan Pacific Grand Prix from that movie Strictly Ballroom.

 

As I returned to the front door I counted the number of steps it took me to reach the corner from the wood pile, as well how many it took to get from the corner to the door. If you're wondering why I didn't use a yard stick or something similar to measure the distances, I don't think I can keep a yard stick a consistent seventy two inches long. Pausing at the latch-bolt I looked out toward where the door was facing. Something caught my eye, it was a warp cube.

 

Days before December 3rd of 2012, Claire and I had decided we wanted some adventure. Since I didn't to deal with bad guys wandering into our WL, I started drawing a means of transport. With some impute from Claire we settled on a floating obsidian Rubix's cube with runes cut onto each of the individual faces. Despite never being finished and brought into our old WL, there was one a good hundred meters just outside the front door.

 

I frowned, not sure why an unfinished mental tool would be in this WL and went inside to rekindle the hearth. After setting the last piece of wood into the fire I began to blow on the coals. Trying my hardest to feel my lungs inflate with air and then being forced out of them. The heat from the fire came naturally.

 

With the fire crackling once again I stood up and looked around. My vision warped quite noticeably around the edges and things at the center of my view bulged out towards me. I related it to a wide-angle lens. I closed my eyes and cupped my right hand to my eyes. I grabbed at nothing and held it pulled it away and the same time reopening my eyes. I had pulled the lenses off, and things looked much more normal.

 

I looked down at myself. I was wearing a red plaid shirt, eyech, with two breast pockets and my usual pair of brown kahki cargo pants. I felt my left breast pocket then proceeded to open it and look at what was inside.

 

I forget if I've mentioned it, but the night before Claire gave me the cross off her necklace since the one I used to wear in real life needs to be repaired.

 

Anyway I took out her keepsake and looked at it. I was surprised at the high level of clarity I could perceive it. I put it back and glanced down at my right. The bayonet that had been their was missing. I remember using it to stoke the fire the night before but I could see it anywhere near the hearth.

 

Claire spoke up and let me know she had it. When I asked her why she pointed out that her mace had been vaporized when I blew up the old WL. I let her keep it, bayonets, knives, and other similar weapons aren't really my style anyway.

 

I sat down at the chair opposite her and studied her face intently, trying to maintain as many small features as possible. I grew tired of this exercise after a minute or two. I was fine when it came to detail, what I needed to work on was maintaining dimensions and less jerky movement.

 

I asked Claire if she had any ideas. In response she produced an old orange Hot Wheels car I used to play with. She set it on the table and push it toward me, letting it jerkily roll over to me. I thought it was a genius exercise. We continued rolling the car back and forth between us began to talked.

 

We talk about what happened during her comatose state, what she was reading (The Wind Boy for anyone wondering), what the plan was for telling the family about her return, and a few other topics.

 

After a while I pointed out how the interior of the house seems to be lit from an invisible, non-existent light source. Then the whole house went dark, the only light coming from the cackling fire. I guess the reality engine of my mind finally realized there was a lighting glitch and decided to fix it.

 

Claire said she found some candles in one of the kitchen cupboards. I was going to get up and retrieve them but then thought different of it. I asked Claire if she would go and get them. She smiled and said, "Sure," and departed from the table.

 

I watched as she walked over, trying to maintain her size in relation to the distance of the cabinets. It was a bit more difficult to do than I expected but it was a good exercise. When she returned with a taper candle we light it and talk for a bit more.

 

Soon after I had to quit. The chair I use for forcing is not particularly comfortable and my butt was getting sore. I said fair well and ended my session.

---

Much obliged if you could when you get the chance.

 

Well, Kor, last night Claire and I gave our best first shot at memory recall. We got about two and a half pages from when I talked to my Pastor last February, but we've still got a fair bit to go. Progress is going to be slow, mostly because of my writing speed.

Additionally, Claire informs me that some bits of the conversation are "corrupted" to borrow a computer term. She describes it as if you dropped a portfolio and then just jammed the papers back in without putting them in order. She does inform me that they can be "re-fabricated" but that their accuracy will be quite questionable.

Finally neither of us can guarantee that the transcriptions we do have are full accurate either. That said we are going to continue to recalling them. Is there any part of the conversations you are interested in particularly? The discussion I had with my pastor took about two hours, so if you could narrow down your search it will help us pin point the important bits.

 

 

 

I'm not quite following you. Most people give that as a reason why we are not supposed to expect things from him, thus -rely on- him, at least in big ways.

 

Well, it seems to me, that being imperfect gives me all the more incentive to rely on a perfect God. While I understand you may perceive the term perfect differently, he has given us direct access to his audience through prayer. If we are not to rely on him as much as possible, why would we be given such a tool as prayer? In Luke 18 Jesus gives us the parable of the persistent widow, and in verse 1 tells us to pray without ceasing.

Another instance we are told to rely on God in all ways is Philippians 4:6

 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

 

I don't know why someone would say we are not to rely on God in all ways.

 

And no, you need to slow down and read what I said - just as blame is "passed down" on us by the god of Abraham, some people want to "pass down" blame to white people, because other white people once enslaved black people. Neither victimhood nor wrongdoings can be passed down - meaning one can't blame descendants or hold them responsible for something someone else did. I simply meant that. It's wrong to do so.

 

That's true of blame. But I don't think sin works like blame. I look at my own life, I sin. Lying, swearing, stealing a bowl of my brother-in-law's Cinnamon Toast Crunch... murder. Sin is still very much present in mankind, and always will be till Jesus' second coming.

I've been going to my church's bible study, we're looking at Leviticus, and we started by looking at a lot of terms we were going to us through out the study. One of the first bits of terminology we examined was the "curse of sin". Even now I'm still trying to get my head around it, but the fact my pastor referred to it as a curse makes me think it's less like blame and more like a hereditary pox of the soul.

 

I have to say, Yori, I've quite enjoyed our back and forth. It's been a real blessing, makes me look at why I believe what I do. Whatever your intentions are, thank you.

[Korzant]

Is there any part of the conversations you are interested in particularly? The discussion I had with my pastor took about two hours, so if you could narrow down your search it will help us pin point the important bits.

 

If you could recall their initial reaction and if they were for or against the idea. That was all I was particularly curious about. I was always under the impression that a tulpa would be seen as some sort of affront to a religious representative.

It would be like: "Why do you need a tulpa if you have a god?" Or vice versa. "Does the church and god not already give you everything you may need?"

These being questions that I would assume I would be asked if I approached a devout. I would not expect a full transcript but if you could chisel out the initial parts of it I would like to read them

[Yori]

It works -like- blame if it is true in in the Abrahamic faith that people must take conditions due to what ancestors did.

And, basically I mean you can't rely on it just as much as you could a person. For instance, I can rely on.. (thinking of quick example - I see a cat on TV!) a friendly cat to lick me (ok that was bad...), a staff person to give me clear help setting up classes, a chef at a restaurant to cook something for me, I can ask a friend to go to the store and do X Y or Z, or to help me study, or to get my homework for me, but it'd be at least irresponsible to ask a god to do things when I can't, like go to the store for items for me (or others, alp), or wait on a god to help me study properly when there is a test, and certainly not to take the wheel if something happens to be stuck when I'm driving.

 

And other things come to mind, like relying on a lifeguard when I am drowning, or someone else if I'm homeless or can't afford something. It would be unwise to simply wait for my god to do it.

 

These are the kinds of things some people say we aren't -supposed to- expect a god to help us with, because of original sin, or simply a mysterious reason (but I'd choose the former over the latter because that one's rather vague).

[Hound]

Hey everyone, stuff has happened so I figured it would be worth making another log entry. Claire and I have regained some of our old skills and I told my pastor about her return.

 

Since her return we've been trying to get our skills and abilities back up to snuff. We've been working and, as you have previously read, managed to retrain some of them. However, some skills were giving us trouble, notably a consistent mindvoice for Claire and the ability to let her taste whatever I eat.

 

The mindvoice issue occurred because Claire went for 11 months without speaking and I've forgotten what she sounded like before. Because of that she's been trying on voices. She's narrowed it down to three: Yoko from Gurren Lagann, a voice I think she made up herself, and Priscilla from Dark Souls. We're both aware her voice will change over time and become distinct, but it always helps to have something to build off of.

 

After much deliberation on her part she settled on starting with Priscilla's voice. If you don't know what Priscilla sounds like here's a link:

 

So yeah... She's been having a blast abusing adding -st to the end of everything. [Thoust betterest believest itst.]

 

As for taste, until today we've been using the same method I did originally to let Claire "taste" whatever I'm eating, but it hasn't worked.

 

Anyway, once started eating my Delicious Spicy Chicken Sandvich I dropped in to the log cabin to see how Claire was doing. We don't talk much during lectures and classes so I like check on her when I get the chance.

 

I materialized sitting in one of the chairs at the table, across from me with Claire holding a Delicious Spicy Chicken Sandvich in her hands. She was watching me like a hawk. I found it odd but didn't let it distract me from my Delicious Spicy Chicken Sandvich. It was delicious. I took a few more bites, slightly distracted by the physical action required I did notice Claire eat her Delicious Spicy Chicken Sandvich.

 

"Oh my goodness that is intense."

 

I knew what I had just heard was Claire, but it sounded muffled. I stopped chewing and turned my attention back to the cabin. Claire was looking back at me, just as intently as before, a bite taken out of her Delicious Spicy Chicken Sandvich.

 

"I think I have this taste problem solved." She swallowed and smile the smile of a wise wolf. I took another bite and watched her. We were eating in tandem.

 

With that figured out I guess she'll be mirroring me whenever I eat until we re-cement that skill.

 

 

 

Last Sunday I left a half-hour earlier than I usually do and got to church early. I must admit I was a little apprehensive but at this point it's nothing new, I sallied forth. When I got there the only vehicle in the parking lot was the pastor's van.

 

I entered the church building and took a left straight to the pastor's office, as expected he was there. He greeted me as I sidled forward.

 

"She's back," I said.

 

As expected his first guess was Claire. After filling him in on how her and I partnered up again after all this time he asked a few questions about how things were going for us. I filled him in on her current state and everything I had posted since last Saturday.

 

He then asked a few more questions, such how I was doing spiritually, Claire's personality, and about what we planned to do in the future. I answered his questions and he seemed satisfied with my answers. I then mentioned your question, Kor.

 

When I first mentioned it to him he was confused and asked several more questions to figure out what I was telling him. Once he had a grasp on what I was talking about, a second separate entity that possessed a unique personality. He figured it as being not a full person in the sense, but a piece of the imagination that had been isolated and allowed to develop an identity all it's own.

 

We continued talking. I guess time had passed fast, because a few people entered the church. My Pastor motioned toward the door and said I could close it if I wanted to. I glanced at it simply stated my indifference to whether the door was open or closed. At this point, I really don't care who knows about Claire.

 

 

 

In other news I've been putting the finished touches on the Warp Cube I mentioned in the last update. Link to the concept art:

http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/336/0/3/warp_rune_concept_art_by_houndofdarkness-d6wijxe.jpg

A quick explanation on how squares 3, 7,and 9 work:

Runes in the 3 zone, the Rune Manipulation square, produce effects observable only to person who just warped in. In the instance of the "home code," the hourglass rune freezes anything in time besides whoever just warped in.

The 7 zone changes the dimension on the whole until the Warp Cube is re-used. In the home code, Luna Cutie Mark causes the warpee to arrive when the moon is highest. When combined with the hourglass in the 3 position, you get an eternal night.

The last zone, 9, changes the condition or requirement that must be met before that warp rune can be used to leave the dimension. Since I expect Warp cubes to be few and far between, you need to fulfill this to return to your mindscape/WL/pocket dimension of choice.

 

Now, all that remains is to actually memorize the thing and take it for a spin. :|

 

 

 

Anyway, tomorrow is December 3rd, marking a full year since Claire and I parted ways. We know we want to do something, but we're not entirely sure what. Anyone got a suggestion?

 

 

 

It works -like- blame if it is true in in the Abrahamic faith that people must take conditions due to what ancestors did.

And, basically I mean you can't rely on it just as much as you could a person. For instance, I can rely on.. (thinking of quick example - I see a cat on TV!) a friendly cat to lick me (ok that was bad...), a staff person to give me clear help setting up classes, a chef at a restaurant to cook something for me, I can ask a friend to go to the store and do X Y or Z, or to help me study, or to get my homework for me, but it'd be at least irresponsible to ask a god to do things when I can't, like go to the store for items for me (or others, alp), or wait on a god to help me study properly when there is a test, and certainly not to take the wheel if something happens to be stuck when I'm driving.

 

And other things come to mind, like relying on a lifeguard when I am drowning, or someone else if I'm homeless or can't afford something. It would be unwise to simply wait for my god to do it.

 

These are the kinds of things some people say we aren't -supposed to- expect a god to help us with, because of original sin, or simply a mysterious reason (but I'd choose the former over the latter because that one's rather vague).

 

Luke 17:20

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth,if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

 

The size of the thing doesn't matter. It's about asking in pure faith. I like to think that we here on the forum know a something about the power of faith and doubt. Some of the best "fertilizer" to help a tulpa grow is faith. Faith is over powered. But raw faith is not enough.

 

2 Timothy 2:22

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

 

You need a pure heart, something which to us as fallen creatures is unobtainable except through one means.

 

Ezekiel 36:22

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

 

Ezekiel was writing about the redemption from sins through the as of yet unborn Jesus Christ. That established that for prayer to be effective you need faith and a pure heart, the verse from Timothy states we need a pure heart along with righteousness, faith, love and peace. Now I could probably go into all four of those, but I don't want to come off sounding high and mighty from a non-existent pulpit... If I sounded like that already I am sincerely sorry, it was not my intention. So I'll just detail the third article mentioned, love, and start wrapping this up.

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does no envy,it does not boast it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

Neither boastful, proud, or self-seeking. I imagine this is why we don't see many people who tell mountains to move getting results. But my quibs are not important.

 

The method of prayer is as simple as asking for God to provide something. But the matter of receiving what we ask for must be within the will of God.

 

Is this always true? No, in 1 Samuel 8 the people of Israel start demanding a king. The text makes it clear that such a request was outside of God's will, yet He allows them to appoint a king. God knows and sometimes grants the selfish desires of our heart.

 

Sometimes we ask things that are in accordance to His will, but we don't get them when we expect them. I think it was Pastor Paul Sheppard where I heard it, but he said, "God answers prayer in one of three ways: yes, no, and wait a while." I know this is true simply because of Claire. I had to wait almost a year to get Claire back, and comparatively that's probably a short time for God to say, "wait."

 

Why did I have to wait nearly a year? I don't know. Why would you be saved by life guard rather than some supernatural means? I don't know.

 

I am but a mere mortal, born just less than twenty one years ago. How am I to fully understand the ways of He who is before time? I can't, I will never fully understand, but I will try none the less.

 

 

 

Yori, I don't know who says there are things we are not to expect help from God with, but I do know everything people say may not be true, same goes for me. You may take my answer with a grain of salt, if you wish, but please check the references. You asked a hard question, I've done the best that I can to answer it. I try not to post an update without doing my best answer your questions, but sometimes stuff happens that I'm just super excited to share. I want you to know if I do post an update without answer one of your questions, it isn't because I'm ignoring you, I'm just still mulling it over.

[Yori]

Not sure how the first Bible quote went with what I said, so I read your own responses instead.

 

"The size of the thing doesn't matter. It's about asking in pure faith. I like to think that we here on the forum know a something about the power of faith and doubt. Some of the best "fertilizer" to help a tulpa grow is faith. Faith is over powered. But raw faith is not enough."

 

I'm talking about what you are receiving - in certain cases, you are being irresponsible to yourself or others if you rely on a god to fulfill your needs and not others or yourself. Things won't always happen.

 

"That established that for prayer to be effective you need faith and a pure heart, the verse from Timothy states we need a pure heart along with righteousness, faith, love and peace"

 

If you mean that you need to be pure-hearted to reap anything in prayer, then few people would be able to rely on the god for things. if you mean that you need to be pure-hearted during prayer, that's fine: Just take out any examples of wishing for superficial things that I gave.

 

"Sometimes we ask things that are in accordance to His will, but we don't get them when we expect them. I think it was Pastor Paul Sheppard where I heard it, but he said, "God answers prayer in one of three ways: yes, no, and wait a while." I know this is true simply because of Claire."

Some needs are time sensitive, and thus relying on a god to fulfill them, especially when it involves the needs of other people or little ones who can't pray for themselves, is irresponsible. Claire isn't an indication that it's true. Tulpas can come back on their own, and one example of something you desire coming back after a year doesn't make a case.

 

In general, you are too hasty making up your mind about things, claims, etc, even with an acknowledgment that you don't know your god.

 

I don't think it should be too hard to see that there are some things you can't ask of your god, whether it's because you're not good (pure) enough, etc. When someone's water will be cut off within the next day (with children)and they are sick and tired, and the only way other than praying would be to get up and get money from X source, even sick & tired, it would be irresponsible to sit and ask things of a god.

 

That's an example of a time sensitive thing.

 

When someone is generally in need of money in the present, (thus, a delayed solution wouldn't be enough) and can't do necessary things without it, praying to a god would be irresponsible.

 

One might say that the person needs to get up and do things themselves, and it is a supposed guarantee a god helped with that, but there are obvious flaws to that, and it doesn't change that the person couldn't rely on the god to deliver needed things to them, sick and tired.

 

Another is "Jesus take the wheel." If someone actually took this literally and they were in danger of crashing and could not control their car, it's likely that nothing would happen. They would crash.

 

Just a few things you can't just rely on a god for.

[Hound]

Not sure how the first Bible quote went with what I said, so I read your own responses instead.

 

You're right I should have led into that a bit better, we were discussing relying on God. I think most people agree to rely on someone you need to communicate. To notify the life guard you may need to shout and make noise, to get the attention of an on coming drive you may honk your horn. In the case of communicating to God, prayer is the means.

 

I'm talking about what you are receiving - in certain cases, you are being irresponsible to yourself or others if you rely on a god to fulfill your needs and not others or yourself. Things won't always happen.

 

Mathew 25:14-30, due to the size of the section I will trust you to look it up. If we waste what the Lord has already provided for us, why should He give us more?

 

If you mean that you need to be pure-hearted to reap anything in prayer, then few people would be able to rely on the god for things. if you mean that you need to be pure-hearted during prayer, that's fine: Just take out any examples of wishing for superficial things that I gave.

 

I remember writing something from Ezekiel 36:22 where did that go... Oh here it is:

Ezekiel 36:22

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

 

Some needs are time sensitive, and thus relying on a god to fulfill them, especially when it involves the needs of other people or little ones who can't pray for themselves, is irresponsible.

Claire isn't an indication that it's true. Tulpas can come back on their own, and one example of something you desire coming back after a year doesn't make a case.

 

True, I have no evidence of such. No where in the Bible can I find a verse say Wyatt will get his Tulpa back. But in the greater scheme of things Claire is irrelevant to this point.

 

In general, you are too hasty making up your mind about things, claims, etc, even with an acknowledgment that you don't know your god.

 

You believe it possible to fully know, to understand, something that was before time began? First four words of Genesis 1:1, "In the beginning God." How can time exist without existence? It doesn't. Yet before anything was created, there was, or is, or will or whatever word applies, God.

I don't know if you believe in God or some other supernatural being. But try, for just a moment to imagine something that exists before the confines of time.

 

Some needs are time sensitive, and thus relying on a god to fulfill them, especially when it involves the needs of other people or little ones who can't pray for themselves, is irresponsible.

That's an example of a time sensitive thing.

 

Why would an omnipotent being be restricted by time?

 

I don't think it should be too hard to see that there are some things you can't ask of your god, whether it's because you're not good (pure) enough, etc. When someone's water will be cut off within the next day (with children)and they are sick and tired, and the only way other than praying would be to get up and get money from X source, even sick & tired, it would be irresponsible to sit and ask things of a god.

 

That's an example of a time sensitive thing.

 

When someone is generally in need of money in the present, (thus, a delayed solution wouldn't be enough) and can't do necessary things without it, praying to a god would be irresponsible.

 

One might say that the person needs to get up and do things themselves, and it is a supposed guarantee a god helped with that, but there are obvious flaws to that, and it doesn't change that the person couldn't rely on the god to deliver needed things to them, sick and tired.

 

Another is "Jesus take the wheel." If someone actually took this literally and they were in danger of crashing and could not control their car, it's likely that nothing would happen. They would crash.

 

Just a few things you can't just rely on a god for.

 

There was a fellow by the name of George Mueller, he ran an orphanage. You should look into him.

[Yori]

 

You're right I should have led into that a bit better, we were discussing relying on God. I think most people agree to rely on someone you need to communicate. To notify the life guard you may need to shout and make noise, to get the attention of an on coming drive you may honk your horn. In the case of communicating to God, prayer is the means.

 

 

Mathew 25:14-30, due to the size of the section I will trust you to look it up. If we waste what the Lord has already provided for us, why should He give us more?

 

 

I remember writing something from Ezekiel 36:22 where did that go... Oh here it is:

 

 

True, I have no evidence of such. No where in the Bible can I find a verse say Wyatt will get his Tulpa back. But in the greater scheme of things Claire is irrelevant to this point.

 

 

You believe it possible to fully know, to understand, something that was before time began? First four words of Genesis 1:1, "In the beginning God." How can time exist without existence? It doesn't. Yet before anything was created, there was, or is, or will or whatever word applies, God.

I don't know if you believe in God or some other supernatural being. But try, for just a moment to imagine something that exists before the confines of time.

 

 

Why would an omnipotent being be restricted by time?

 

 

There was a fellow by the name of George Mueller, he ran an orphanage. You should look into him.

 

Whoa, I can see it!

---

Oh, dear, I never implied he was -restricted- by time, only that he simply couldn't be relied on responsibly for time sensitive things. Not because he can't do anything, he just won't. This is assuming he's there, and omnipotent. Won't must be it.

[Hound]

Thanks for using the revealer ink Yori.