Robo's journal of experiances

[Robo]

Ok, what the flying fuck is going on in my head?

 

1. The brown haired tulpa wants me to call her Marry Anne.

2. I've been feeling two presences other than my own in my head, one from the garden, one from somewhere else

3. Investigate second presence, I find Mitsuki half naked, chained up in a dungeon, looking terrible. (I thought she had turned into Marry Anne, but I guess I was wrong?)

4. I let her go, she attacks me

5. I leave and go for a walk to collect my thoughts

6. I ask Marry Anne what's going on with the tulpa chained up in the dungeon, she says she did it, I ask why, she said Mitsuki was dangerous, Marry Anne gave me a creepy vibe when she said this.

7. I go back to the dungeon, ask Mitsuki if I let her go will she not attack me, she says she won't. I let her go and she runs up and bear hugs me like i'll go away again. I take her somewhere I'm assuming is safe so I can type this out.

 

WTF am I supposed to do? I'm completely confused and not expecting any of you to believe this, I'm half not believing it myself!

 

Ok, I got on IRC and Pronas helped me figure out what to do. The Annoyance is gone and everything should be fine now.

[Pronas]

do what i told you to do in irc. Murder mary anne and heal your waifu in the fountain of healing. I also think you had a bad trip.

[Sock]

Once again, the human mind proves itself to be a bizarre, unpredictable thing. I think stories like yours aren't going to be too rare as more and more people make their own thought forms, especially the more imaginative and less strict folk. Hell, I've run into some oddities myself, though not close to the level of your case. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what to tell you, but that your mind is still your mind. You still have the most control, and you might just be able to ignore your way out of trouble. The last thing you want to be is afraid of your own mind, especially when it's doing a bunch of cool/crazy stuff this.

[Robo]

Yeah, I know I have the most control. It's just kinda scary how manipulative my mind is, to make something appear to be my tulpa and hiding my actual one away.

[Robo]

Thursday, June 14 2012, Mitsuki Is fully sentient. she appeared that way before, but now I'm sure. I should do something to celebrate...

[Sock]

Congratulations Robo! Looks like you'll have her babbling in no time!

[Robo]

Thanks Sock! She talks already, but she's difficult to hear sometimes. I'm sure it'll come with time though.

[Robo]

Well, don't I feel like an idiot...

 

Yesterday I was getting headaches, and was unable to see mitsuki, I wasn't sure what was going on, and I was virtually unable to enter my mind because of all the random confusing crap that was happening. Mitsuki was gone after everything settled down, I was worried, but there was nothing I could do about it. today I found her, but she won't move. I'm thinking this whole time I've been subconsciously parroting her. This is just depressing me... I'm not sure if I want to continue, nor am I sure if this is good for my psyche. I've set up a purple crystal that lights up when I'm parroting her this time, so If I do choose to continue I can maybe do it right this time.

 

I'm probably going to stop posting my progress for awhile until I get this sorted out.

[Guest]

Don't stop. Keep on going. Just... relax a bit on the parroting, and know when to tell the difference between an actual response and parroting.

[Robo]

Well, Three days after absorbing her, I can easily say it was one of the worst mistakes of my life. She left a hole in my heart and I couldn't stop thinking about what a terrible idea it was for the entirety of those 3 days. I've decided to salvage what I can and keep working at it. I managed to salvage much of her form and am working on re-forming anything that has deteriorated.

 

I tried to stop, but it seems to be more trouble to stop than to keep going. I'm just hoping my subconscious will let me do it in relative peace this time. Wish me luck.