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The adventure continues... (Somewhat Daily Journal of an Everlurker)

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Tuesday, August 06, 2013


Welp it’s almost 3 am again (gerd dermnit!) Main reason I’m up this late is because I was taking one of the self hypnosis scripts and putting pieces together in a word document so I don’t have to scroll. I also took one of the parts of the scripts and changed the wording and made some edits so it was more relevant for me. Chances are I probably ended up doing it the hard way. So many extra steps just because Adobe wants me to pay them yearly just so I can export a single PDF into a Word document… yeh, I don’t think so… and companies wonder why people pirate their products… -_-;


Woke up three times, but the final time I woke up I could have sworn I felt something or someone touch my shoulder. I groggily asked Mel if it was her and only received a smile. Earlier that night I woke up and saw an outline in the dark and fell back aslee. I wasn’t fully awake at the time and I’ve heard the “Believe within reason” thing as well. The way I figure though is that the mind is a VERY powerful thing, the right mindset is important for something such as this and many things in life. Maybe it wasn’t her that time, but If I truly believe, eventually it will be her, at least that’s the way I see it. Besides, who else could it have been? :P

Not much else of not happened today, had a band practice then spent the rest of the day on an illustrator project I don’t think I’ll be able to fully finish. After finishing with that script I don’t even get to use it. Awh well, hopefully soon I’ll be done with all this. Maybe I’ll take some time to organize another script, It’ll be easier this time because I’ve got the majority already put together from the last script.



Wednesday, August 7th, 2013


Nothing to really note today, I was working all day on my project for Illustrator class, It's nearly 4 am now Thursday morning and I finally finished it. Get to present it in a few hours.



Thursday, August 8th, 2013


So yeah nearly 4 am now, I figure I might try to read through a script, maybe just read through it since I don't know how much time I really have to prep and get myself deep into the state where I'll be most open to suggestion, but I found myself nearly nodding off the other day I was just reading through. We'll just have to see how it goes...


Read through the script and went to bed. Fast forward to 9pm or so, I attempted to read one of the scripts, but I was feeling anxious... probably not helping me relax at all. I just had this feeling that I would be disturbed in the middle of it and it was really, really bothering me, the restlessness was stressing me out and making it feel (figuratively) as if I couldn't breathe and getting me really tense. Sure enough my brother barged in on me. Now I'm just in a foul mood... It's really frustrating that all this time I've been too busy to do anything to make progress and now I finally get a day where I'm not working on some big project (or trying to work on one and failing miserably) and I can't get any time alone. Now that there's a possibility of another chance I might get to myself, I'm too tense and bothered that I'll be disturbed again to be able to relax myself enough to get through the whole session. I think I'm just going to go lay down and Keep listening to the Wheel of Time audio book with Mel until I fall asleep. (Just over half way through book 2 now)

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Whoops, Kindof fell behind there on the entries. This weekend was kind of interesting, especially the last two days.


Friday August 9, 2013


Was awake till for quite some time after I was supposed to be asleep (big surprise eh? it was around 3 am). With everyone being asleep I figured I was already sleepy enough to take up where I left off on the script. I found that visualizing during that script had helped in getting the detail more vivid than it has been. I was also very relaxed, adding to myself the suggestion that I was going to let myself stay in this state of relaxation even after drifting off to sleep. Telling myself that when I wake in the morning I’ll have woken from the state, as well as be able to visualize with greater ease. I figured that I’d try and do some visualization as I lay in bed. I imagined myself sinking through the void. Sinking deeper and deeper, the deeper I go the more relaxed and the more at peace I became. And when I sank deep enough I would be lying in the wonderland next to Mel. Perhaps I should try to specify how a number of counts or layers until I reach the wonderland because I think I drifted off to sleep (after what seemed not too long) before I even got to the wonderland.


I went to the lake today after waking up and eating a late breakfast. I walked out into the lake up to my knees (because I wasn’t wearing swim shorts) and started an open eye visualization (I think that’s what it’s called, at least I’ve heard that name used. Where it’s not quite full hallucination, but somewhat seeing your tulpa in world with mind’s eye? I haven’t looked much into imposition because I still feel I need to work on visualization.) Anyways, I “saw” that Mel seemed to be enjoying herself out there. Sometimes swimming out past the lane line to the deeper area and once or twice jumping off the dock, or even splashing around in the shallow area near me. I hadn’t been swimming in pretty much over a year now due to the really bad stomach problems I’ve had, but after seeing Mel out there in the lake enjoying herself, I’m starting to think that maybe I’ve keeping myself away from swimming long enough. I heard Mel sometimes inviting me to go out deeper into the lake with her, and even a disappointed “Aaww” when I decided to go back to the bench to dry off.

Fast forward at bit and we’re arriving at the winery that we’re playing at this night. (I’ve gotten into the habit of doing a lot of open eye visualization. I heard the story about how one of the actors in Who Framed Roger Rabbit actually managed to hallucinate and see the characters and couldn’t get rid of them, I figured I’d just keep doing that since I’ve already made a habit out of it) As I was setting up my amp and equipment I saw Mel eyeing the Wine on the shelves, I glanced up from what I was doing to look at her to which she responded “Don’t worry I’m a big mare.” Well… needless to say, she drank quite a bit… After the first set was done, I went and sat down in the shade by the stage where she was sitting to have my energy drink (this was an outdoor stage and it was hot out.) She held a nearly empty bottle in her right hoof, oh dear… The speech I could make out was sounding slurred and there was a lot of speech from her.

When it was time for our second set to start I set my drink by her and asked her to watch it (because y’know, why not?) She gave a little salute with the hoof she was holding the bottle in and ended up spilling what was left in the bottle. During the set I heard slurred cheers while playing our favorite song. Finally after our second hour set ended I went over to where she was sitting to get the instrument cases to pack up, only to see that she was holding another bottle. I looked at it and asked, “Another one??” She just responded, “This one is only half empty.”…”Well alrighty then,” I thought to myself with a sigh and continued packing up all the stuff. She was a giggly happy drunk, After a while though she didn’t look so happy, I saw she was starting to feel sick. I tried to hurry up in my packing and loading up the truck, and then I started putting together a little remedy for upset stomachs (a thoughtform of doing so?) After almost two years of stomach issues, I’ve learned a thing or two about upset stomachs. Although I don’t really drink so I wasn’t sure if It applied, but I gave the drink to Mel and she started looking better, still tipsier than hell, but she was happily giggling and muttering things I couldn’t quite make out again. When I got home I sent Mel to bed then got myself a super late dinner and wound down with some video games.

I never sleep really, so as I was sitting around watching the lightning and listening to the thunder, I head Mel stir a bit then slightly wake and ask me what happened. After she started piecing it together a bit she followed up with. “Did I do anything embarrassing?” I reassured her that she didn’t and it’s not like anyone else would be able to see. Then she went back to sleep.



Saturday August 10th, 2013


Mel Awoke with a hangover, big surprise there eh? I got her a tall glass of water and something for her headache and left her to sleep it off while I went about my day. Eventually she woke up again feeling better.


Fast forward to the show, It was sunny out when I got there but then it turned to overcast with a little bit of wind chill. I tried to force a bit like I would with the fire in the void. Maybe more like a bit of self hypnosis to convince myself I could feel Mel’s body heat. I didn’t feel significantly warmer, but I think through doing this I managed to take my mind off the chill at the very least. As it got closer to our set I did the same, but imagined directing the heat to the center of my palms and have it spread out through to my finger tips so my hands didn’t feel stiff when I tried to play bass on stage. For the most part the chill didn’t get to me and I was able to play just fine. Felt bad for the drummer/vocalist though, but also still impressed at the same time. He ate at a buffet before the show and ate something that didn’t sit well at all. He managed to drum and sing the way he does (he puts a lot of power in energy into both drumming and singing at the same time) for about a half an hour before he started dryheaving at the very end of the song.

He went straight home, he wasn’t feeling good. I went with another group of friends to their house after the show to unwind. There was another little incident that involved alcohol that happened that I wasn’t directly affected by because I was in a different car when driving back, but it must’ve stressed me out or something because I sat down on the floor and I got one of those things that starts with a feeling like your heart skipped a beat, followed by a light sweat, lightheadedness, and trouble breathing (I don’t know the name, Palpitation?) I’ve read that they’re common, even among people who are healthy and of the times I’ve gotten this before it usually passes after not too long. But at the same time they’re really uncomfortable (can’t really imagine trouble breathing is ever comfortable) scary, and Feel like they last so much longer. There wasn’t really anything anyone else could have done to help (at least that I know), so I just laid back on a pillow on the floor and closed my eyes trying to relax while it passed. The lightheadedness got worse (maybe it wasn’t the best idea to lie flat on my back.) I go a little stressed and heard “Hey, you alright? Hey!” with eyes closed I saw Mel looking down at me with a worried expression I saw lay down next to me and rest her head on my chest and imagined myself stroking her mane. I was starting to stress a little before, but now I was feeling more relaxed and I was focusing on trying to taking deeper breaths. For all I know this probably only lasted a few minutes. It passed and I let everyone know I was back to normal again, I heard a “Don’t scare me like that,” from Mel. As I started to get back up I realized that I had my hand up (looks like I wasn’t just imagining stroking her mane, but actually was) Well, my friends in the room probably thought I just was moving my arm to keep the blood flowing or something (…I hope.)



Sunday, August 11, 2013


Did nothing productive all day, just trying to catch up on the last two entries with (with a lot of distractions)



Monday, August 12th, 2013


Haven’t had any free time to do anything today, still trying to catch up on the entries. (caught up with entries at 3:30 am Tuesday)



Tuesday August 13, 2013


Nothing productive all day today, didn’t sleep all night then slept all day long.



Wednesday August 14th, 2013


Once again, busy all day. I do some little narration when I can. A while back ago I've started wearing some bracelets my Cousins sent me from Colombia, as a reminder to narrate and also to remind me that Mel is always there.



Thursday August 15th, 2013


Not much went on today. Still did some narration throughout the day, then came home and lurked around the IRC. It's I've got to do something to make progress, Perhaps I'll try one of the scripts after my brother goes to sleep.

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Friday, August 16th, 2013


Not much went on today. Had a band practice. Only other thing is my brother got the Sims 3 (Oh lordi Guess I can say goodbye to whatever social life I had left for a while. I've had experience with the Sims and Sims 2, I know what I'm getting myself into XD ) I started with making my Sim, then just for the hell of it I decided to make a Sim of Mel were she human (or at least as close as I could get with the options I had) I made her Sim with suggestions from her and even got her sign (I guess she's a cancer since her "birthday" is the 2nd of July)


One thing I found nice about the Sims 3 (besides being super addicting and fun) is that it gives me time to talk with Mel and we can both enjoy watching and playing. It doesn't require my full attention like say a game like The Force Unleashed 2, Borderlands 2, or Prototype 2.



Saturday August 17th, 2013


Nothing much really happened today. I read through the visualization script super early in the morning before I went to bed (probably around 1 am or something) and I read the text book for my psychology class. Mel managed to keep me awake by distracting me with something I wasn't expecting. Went over to bandmate's house for a bit before the show we were playing that night. Mel and I just kind of hung out downstairs on one of the couches in the practice room and I was playing on the 12 string until we had to leave for the show. Family friends and the drummer/vocalist's girlfriend were upstairs. I hope they didn't see that as rude. I have a habit of either blending into the background or disappearing in social type situations.


Got to the bar and grill, Narration while setting up and waiting for our set, anything from little chatting to things as small as "This chicken bacon ranch salad is bombdiddlyumptious." During our set I heard mindvoice cheering. And at the end of our set I got a compliment on our performance from Mel as well as some people there who enjoyed our set.



Sunday August 18th, 2013


Nothing really of note today, Played the Sims 3 first at somewhere around 2-5 in the morning. Miss-clicked an option then the two Sims started awkwardly flirting with each other (probably having to do with the traits we picked).... It was kind of awkward for both of us to watch. I think I also saw Mel's face redden when "Woohoo with Silrain" appeared on her Sim's daily goals. I kind of flinched when I noticed that my Sim had that same goal for the day. Pretty much just chatting and narration as I played. Little suggestions thrown in by her while playing like, "You're Sim should cook dinner tonight."


Other than that not much else happened today.



August 19-21st, 2013


Nothing much happens. Just what has become the normal, Random chats, video games, College classes, Wheel of Time. There hasn't been much active forcing being done, but at least always Narration. Maybe I'll get some time to really sit down and force again now that I'm pretty much finished with the Summer quarter.



August 22nd, 2013


Summer quarter is over and I've got some free time finally... aaaand not really sure what to do with it, I know what I should be doing. Today was a band practice. Nothing really interesting has happened today, Played the 12 string, went over some older songs, practiced some covers and then Mel and I fell asleep on the couch after the practice. When I first made my wonderland I had put a laptop there as a way for Mel to access my memories. I'd be kindof curious now how people may have had their Tulpa help with recalling memories. Might have to look into seeing if anyone here has stories.



August 23rd, 2013


Not much went on today, Played The Sims 3 and Saint's Row 4 all day today.



August 24th, 2013


Not much happened today, Mel reminded me we haven't sang together in some time. Reminded me that I should probably try and practice since I never end up hearing myself on stage, I just try and remember what it feels like rather than sounds like and hope for the best or that no one notices since I only do back up.



August 25th-26th, 2013


Nothing really of note. I drew something today after quite some time. Perhaps I can try to draw Mel Sometime (Hopefully somewhat nice quality if not doodle quality.) I was thinking some of some of the self-hypnosis. Thinking about how falling into the trances is probably easier than most would think and of the times I fall into one whether it be playing bass, guitar, video games, or driving. Could extra messages of encouragement of positive suggestions be added there to better learn what I'm doing during those trances? Perhaps I'm just rambling now since I have nothing interesting to say about today or maybe just trying to get myself to think.


Unfortunately I ran out of antacids so I should probably try and get some sleep or just not move around a lot. To the Audiobook for me, To wheel of time.

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August 27th, 2013


(From previous night into today. I managed to fall asleep at around 4 am.) Slept horribly, Heartburn and stomach aches were keeping me up so I just put the audio book on as I tried to sleep it off. Mel sat by the bed with her hooves on my left hand, telling me to just lie still and relax. We were both listening to the audio book. At one point I saw her (mind’s eye, haven’t really begun to try imposition yet) trying to grab the antacids on my desk for me, but her hoof just going through it. At some other point my brother and his friend were watching youtube videos and laughing loud in the next room, Mel tried yelling at them to keep it down, I just replied with, “You know they can’t hear you right?” She then made the “scrunchy face” Eventually I drifted off to sleep.


Later today I get the house to myself for a good while. I decide to finally stop being lazy and try to actively force again. I had music going on as I did this. I decided to try visualization. I managed to fall asleep for a time, but I woke up and managed to continue visualization. It’s probably normal but I easily lose track of time. Sometimes it seems time goes by faster, and other times it seems to move slower, and other times it seems to go slow one moment then flies the next. It felt nice actually doing something again. Hopefully I’ll be able to actively force more often. I’ve got all this free time before fall quarter starts.



August 28th, 2013


I really didn't do much today. I started doing some drawings and went on drawing late into the night and early morning of the next day.

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Thursday, August 29th, 2013


Finally went to sleep at 9am today. Today I also did an open canvas with three other friends. I snuck in a little doodle of Mel in there, the little image below (Please forgive my messy drawing.) One of the friends drew a little cloak on her.




Also sang with her for a little bit before heading off for band practice. I feel like I can hear her (mindvoice) a little more often now with my own. I really enjoy the way it harmonizes. As for during band practice, whether it really means anything or not, one of her favorite songs of ours is one of my favorite ones to play. I've noticed she gets excited and always has a smile as we start playing it. (I've got a Sta.sh Link of the song if anyone is curious. Feel free to ask about it if you'd like)


I also thought to myself about some of the trances we get ourselves into on a regular day, like when we're focused on doing something like Driving, playing video games, reading a good book, watching movies or videos (either for entertainment or things like tutorials for learning), or Drawing and being really into it. Now I haven't really done any research on it myself, but I'm just entertaining the ideas and thoughts in my head and having fun with them at this point. I was wondering to myself, when we're in those types of trances are we somewhat more open to suggestions kindof like we are if we're in a state of hypnosis? (if maybe a less open to suggestion but still more open than when not in a trance of any type) I'll probably look into this sometime in my free time, but feel free to discuss or answer, I'd be happy to hear other people's thoughts on this.


So I decided to try something during practice for one song. When I play I've trained myself to not think or at least not think about what I'm playing and just build and let muscle memory and feel take over. If I start to think about what I'm playing I start to over-think and then that's where I start messing up. So I considered playing bass to be one of these daily trances. As I was playing I had Mel giving suggestions along the lines of "As this song goes you relax, by the time the song ends, You'll 'wake' " or "Just let your muscle memory take over, You don't need to look at what you're playing. You can hear it, you can feel it." I'm not too sure if this helped me much or not since we were playing in the dark (To be able to get use to playing in the dark in case a venue we played at has no lights or is very dark) and it was only the first time trying this while playing bass. Other than that, not much else today.



Friday August 30th, 2013


Nothing out of the normal, lazy day.

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Saturday August 31st, 2013


Today Mel and I sat around and listened to the brand new Nine inch Nails album, Hesitation Marks. I really liked it, Mel enjoyed it too. I tried to do some forcing along with the album. I kind of lost focus during the session though, I can't tell if I got lost in the void, or lost in the music. Probably a combination of both I might have fallen asleep, but I'm not a hundred percent sure since I sometimes can't tell how much time passes while forcing at times.


I apologized to Mel for losing sight of her while in the void (I was trying to visualize) and she told me it was alright. (I don't know how she can put up with my scatterbrainess sometimes XS ) She then told me that we don't really need to teach our eyes to see something in front of us and then tell our brains that there's something in front of us, That comes more naturally. But in our case I've got to try and train my brain to try and see something. Pretty much that it's a whole different sort of thing that takes practice.


Might have to keep trying different things when forcing to keep myself from falling asleep or "getting lost" in my mind. I've managed to sleep standing before, not a deep sleep, but more than enough to lose track of time.


Then we played the Sims, she picked out another outfit for her Sim. Then ended the day with playing a two hour set at the bowling alley with the band, We got to play our favorite song. Got a surprise hug after the show. Seem's she enjoyed our set too. I'm sure people were listening I mean there was no way they couldn't seeing as how the stage was set up on three of the lanes in the center of the room, but it was hard to tell if people were paying attention because everyone was busy bowling. Overall, a pretty good day despite stomach feeling sick most the evening.



Sunday, September 1st, 2013


Not much interesting today. Well we watched The Life of Pi with my family. That movie had some feels in it, Mel was crying by the end, I nearly teared up a few times.

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Monday, September 2nd, 2013


It’s now been two months since I’ve started. Looking at where I am so far, we talk almost every day, Sometimes there’s just not much to say, but I still try and give some attention every day. As far as visualizing goes, I guess I can say I’ve gotten better though I don’t know if it’s as good as I’d like yet. I’d like to get to imposition eventually, but I feel there’s still more I could do on the visualization. Mel Picked up possession rather fast, I was surprised how fast. It seems like we’re talking to each other more often now too, the conversations seem a lot less one sided now that I can hear Mel’s (mind)voice clearer, one of the days earlier I was pleasantly surprised to hear her singing the first few lines of Stop the Dams by the Gorillaz. Perhaps it’s time I revisit and try to put together some other self-hypnosis scripts. I do feel the scripts I’ve used have been helping me, I’ve even started using some self hypnosis to help me get to sleep since I always tend to drift off into a dream before I can reach the wonderland if I’m lying in bed. The headaches, I can remember in the beginning, they were strong and quite frequent, I didn’t often get headaches before Mel, but I actually looked forward to getting them after starting, and now two months later I’m still happy to get a headache. I almost see it as a comfort rather than discomfort now. Like the bracelets from Colombia that I wear on my left arm, the headaches are a reminder that she’s always with me. (Damn man, looking forward to headaches and taking comfort in strong ones, I say that to someone and they’ll be thinking I’m crazy…well crazier than some already know me to be I guess XD )


Sooo yeah, now as for what happened today. Today I pretty much spent the whole day drawing (with a short break for The Sims 3 in between). I drew Mel, at least a better quality than the little doodle I posted on one of the earlier entries… Well I at least tried, details aren’t exactly, but that’s just the story of drawing, I do what I can, but it’s not always 100% accurate. But I was happy with the way it turned out and Mel loves her little portrait too.




Throughout the day we also watched some friends livestream and a few really funny videos on youtube, as well as some really funny gifs. I don’t think I’ve really laughed as hard in some time, it was nice.

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Got a little bit of catching up to do. I keep a journal saved on my computer since I don't always get around to posting here.



September 3rd, 2013


Nothing much going on today, Pretty much just drew all day, maybe played some bass.



September 4th, 2013


Nothing out of the ordinary. Though somehow I guess after sitting around inside day after day I guess I got motivated to actually go out and do something. I figure I’ll start by walking, then eventually Jog, and maybe even run. I can’t let my stomach problems keep me away from exercise forever, Though now I’ll have someone to run with and hopefully motivate or help encourage me to get off my lazy ass.



September 5th, 2013


Needing to wake up early today, but it’s now 2 am, Just finished Book 3 of the Wheel of Time. It’s been quite some time since I’ve been able to fall asleep before 1 am and recently I’ve been going to bed as late as 5 am. I decided to maybe try and see if I can get myself to sleep by going through some steps of self-hypnosis, since I always somehow manage to get so relaxed I fall asleep while trying without a script. I thought I might try something different this time and let Mel do the hypnotizing. I’ve noticed that I’ve definitely have gotten better at hearing her mindvoice and telling it apart from my own and I believe this helps me since it encourages her to talk and me to listen more. I was able to focus on her voice and she got my arm to be too heavy to lift and my eyelids too heavy to open. Eventually I just went to sleep. Not much else goes on the rest of the day.



September 6th, 2013


Not much going on today. Either today or Yesterday I stopped by the supermarket after practice to by another quart of Frozen Yogurt because someone ate it all in one sitting even after they said that was mine. I was looking through the ice cream and Frozen foods aisle I saw a flavor that was Mixed Berry Parfait. I heard a voice in the back of my head say, “Ooh, THAT ONE, Get that one!”

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September 7th, 2013


Today we played a show all day at the farm of a family friend of the guitarist and drummer. There were neighbors and friends there who showed up, as well as food. There’s just something about that place. The vibes are so positive. I think they were spreading to Mel too. She seemed to enjoy herself while we were there. I had fun, getting to play for over 4 hours was great. We all stayed the night at the place since it was far of a drive to get there. We ended up blowing one of our PA monitors somehow. Not sure how, but smoke started coming out of the back during the last song of our last set for the night. After we put our equipment in the garage of the other building that we played in front of on the property (we called it the Man cave) I just sat in one of the reclining chairs and listened to the Wheel of Time audiobook on my phone with Mel and pretty much closing myself off to everyone (I’m quite the social butterfly like that :P ). I wasn’t really trying to be rude; I was just really tired after our 4 sets and had the usual stomachache. After a time the other guests started leaving and my bandmates and some of the other guests that were staying the night went out on a walk around the property, I wasn’t feeling that great so I stayed. Had the Man cave to myself for a while, it was nice. I just climbed up to the loft and sat in one of the beds there and continued listening to the audio book with Mel, even after everyone else got back.



September 8th, 2013


My bandmates and those others spending the night in the Man Cave got back and were laughing, talking, dancing and listening to music loooong into the early hours of the morning. The entire time I was still in the loft with Mel listening to the audio book (lordi, I’m introverted as hell). At times when the music got too loud, Mel and I practiced some possession. Then I managed to go to sleep for about an hour or so despite the noise, the beds (mattresses) there were really comfortable and there were 4 or 3 of them and 2 couches just in the loft. I woke up after the hour as the drummer and his girlfriend came up the ladder. The rest kept the music on pretty much till 4 am, but I was able to sleep. (I’ve fallen asleep at 2 different raves, and a small venue or two while watching some local bands, this wasn’t too bad. It was actually more frustrating trying to hear my audiobook through my headphones than it was trying to sleep).


Woke up a few hours later and wondered if I should get up or not risk waking the others up, was feeling hungry, but didn’t know how long till breakfast would be ready so I just went back to sleep. Woke up again to the guitarist coming in to tell us breakfast is almost ready. Changed my shirt quickly (forgetting that everyone was still there and just waking up), then got my shoes, and climbed down the ladder and out the door of the Man Cave. As I was climbing up the hill to the house I looked over at the two horses and heard a cheerful mind voice calling out to them, “Good Moring Freddy, Good Morning Rose.” Freddy whinnied almost as if telling me Good morning too, probably just coincidence, but I had a chuckle at how the timing matched up so perfectly. ^w^ Mel really seemed to like it there, I know I enjoy it there. The family that owned the land said they’d try and build us a stage to play on for next time so we can perform there. Hopefully our PA speakers won’t blow out again.


During the car ride back I pretty much stared out the window and was narrating, pretty much chatting, I’m guessing there really wasn’t much to say, and I don’t think I was talking to much or talking over her. I’m sure she would’ve spoken up if she had something to add or say. sometimes, I think we communicate more through expressions, or body language. I myself use few words when not on the internet. Off the internet I barely even talk, only really when asked to or when talked to. I believe that Mel reflects some of that. Sometimes there really not much to say, often times is my case. Didn’t do much else when I got home, except found my frozen Yogurt eaten AGAIN. I’ve only had two spoonfuls of it and I come back home to find that a quarter of it is gone. Also had a pretty strong headache in the evening.

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September 9th, 2013


Today, just went on a long walk. A few days back I got the motivation to start walking daily until I go back for the Fall quarter, and Mel has kindof given me some extra motivation to keep to it. I brought the audiobook with me for us to listen to as we walked (More open eye visualization if that’s what it’s called rather than imposition. I’m still going to work my way to that, but for now I feel it’s a good way to practice visualizing). Pretty much we just walk, and chat or listen to The Wheel Of Time. Good way to accomplish many things at once. Getting to listen to the audio book, walking the dog, Spending time with Mel, actually getting out of the house and into the sun, and slowly taking steps towards getting into somewhat better shape. After the walk, just did some Vectoring work (picture below.)





September 10th, 2013


Went on my walk with Mel and the dog today then drew, not much else interesting. I’ve started paying more attention to when Mel trots in front of me during the walk (mind’s eye). It’s becoming easier to see the movement. Seems that the website has been having problems, can’t post any progress reports. The site has been having some issues today it seems. Drawings finished today somewhat unrelated but I had a chuckle making them so just sharing them.






September 11th, 2013


Not too much went on. went on my walk, then started drawing or working in illustrator when I got back. Took a really long walk, kindof just got lost in the story of the audio book and just walked on an on. Was one of the hotter days up in the 90's. I ran the poor dog into the ground.



September 12th, 2013


wasn't able to go to sleep (as usual) We did some practice with possession, before letting her try and put some suggestions through hypnosis to try and get me to sleep. Though I was already tired from the long walk.

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