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[Linkzelda]

Testing

 

@Nobillis (or at least whichever tulpa that's been with Kevin for many years)

 

Sands is right that if you make a habit of posting reaction images, it will end up in self-stultification. It's not him trying to make you look silly, it's just people won't take you as seriously, especially since it's clear the behavioral trends from members mostly end up in passive-aggressive griping and rambling.

 

Hello everyone. It seems to me that a lot of tulpas feel uncertain about their own existence. kerin and I spend a lot of time trying to help them. Many we've been able to reassure. More then a few have said that we did help. And also, I've been helped in turn by those whom I was helping.

Some of you will know kerin and company, and some not. The fact is Kevin (the human, my dad) doesn't really believe in tulpas at all. And yet, we continue to exist, the Watchdogs still drive the car (last night in fact), kerin runs her counseling service and I do secretary duties for all.

 

I didn't want to be analytical towards you as I did with Sands (but that was only to see what he really stood for and clearing up my misconceptions about him), but...

 

Here's the thing that bothers me when you are concerned about existential issues that was prevalent in that Reddit Link. I'm not here to insult you or try to attack you, I just want to know your honest opinion on this. Presumably, we see you as someone who's interacted with their host, or "Kevin" in this case, for many years. So you are kind of the go-to person in terms of long-term rapport (at first glance) with tulpas and host, but here's the irony in you trying to help others.

 

Helping other people, at least when it comes for the sake of guiding them in the right direction, and giving them a sense of hope so that they may be able to think for themselves is really a gift to have. However, sometimes people help others because it helps them forget their own problems, especially those who think they're helping, but they gravitate towards the problem so much that they end up being disheartened and exhausted themselves (i.e. those who try to white knight and end up being defeatists). The reason why I'm bothered that someone like you still has a host that seems to not acknowledge your existence all too well, we can presume you just have unconditional love for him, seeing how despite of his qualities and inability to acknowledge you, love you, and your other beings within the confines of his mind, you still love him.

 

But don't you ever question why Kevin wouldn't want to acknowledge you and the others? Do you ever wonder how that if you're helping those people, it's probably to make yourself feel better and also masking that gap of having complete rapport with kevin? I mean, you made the existential conflict Kevin has with you and the other beings in his mind so apparent in that quote, which means it's probable you're as passive aggressive in a way towards Sands and thinking he's trying to bring you down. I'm sure you had your moments where you realized you couldn't help everyone simply because the issue you're trying to help with is prevalent within you as well with your host.

 

Most of the time, in order to really help others, you'll have to learn how to help yourself and learn how to deal with that clear conflict you have with Kevin. Because as much as I acknowledge and admire your desire to help others, the conflict you have with him does make you look like a hypocrite. And it's doubly hypocritical when despite of his years with tulpa that he doesn't seem to acknowledge as much, to think that the level of sentience and sapience accumulated during those decades, that the existential conflicts your host has with not acknowledging you and the others as much would be resolved.

 

tl;dr Despite of you wanting to help others and giving hope to others on their existential conflicts with their tulpas and hosts, you seem to have not cleared that barrier with your own host yourself, despite of the decades of presumed rapport you have with him and unconditional love. Do you ever question that yourself? I'm not saying this to intimidate you, but it's just proves how there are some people who help others to mask the conflict/barrier/pitfall they can't get over themselves. Which is why you would be taken more seriously if you had inward focus on your own problems and solving them before helping others instead of being complacent towards potential rapport with your host.

[Nobillis]

Thanks. I will think on this. We have much to learn still.

 

And, that, I guess, is why I'm here.

[Nobillis]

Kevin says:

 

I should say, Nobillis is the only one I have trouble interacting with at present. I find her hard to hear some days, and yet I see her giving me "shh" motions just to the left of me. She's young. And I am terribly poor at all this. But, even so, I am responsible for all that my tulpas do and say. I'll make sure that I (and we, whatever term fits) are more professional and humbler in future.

 

Also, in interactions with Nobillis she has her independence - I won't necessarily know what she's doing until I read the logs. She does tend to sometimes express feelings, emotions, thoughts and opinions far different then I would have, and in ways I wouldn't consider 'proper'. But then I put that down to her still growing. She gets too excited - or passionate, or overjoyed in this - having humans and tulpas to talk to, something my others never had when growing up. I don't take too much control in my children's lives, and; since my son turned out polite, industrious, and kind; it may be that my tendency not to interfere too much in a child's growth isn't entirely misguided.

 

kerin often says; I'm not wise, I'm just old. And since kerin is a reflection of part of myself, I accept that I'm that way too. And yet, Nobillis and I are the novices here - with very much to learn still - these new tulpas are so very different from what I had long grown comfortable with.

 

I don't know if Sands meant "It begins" in an ironic sense, but I do very much think it to be accurate in a real sense. Reapplying what the Tibetans had learned of the human mind to a new application (as partners rather then teaching tools) is indeed where it begins.

[Linkzelda]

This isn't about being more professional or humbler kevin, kerin, and everyone else with you two. I'm not telling you to be this or be that, I'm just asking for your opinion. This is just about coming to terms with your tulpa and not avoiding acknowledging their existence. That's the only thing that looked like a concern between kevin and everyone with him below:

 

The fact is Kevin (the human' date=' my dad) doesn't really believe in tulpas at all. [/quote']

 

But it's clear it's not the case, since he does acknowledge you as tulpa, but he just doesn't seem to have had trust in what kerin would say autonomous from his conscious mind. But it's clear now that he's just allowing you and the rest to grow. It just felt confusing in what you stated in that quote, but now it's clear. Thank you for your response, all of you. :)