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[Linkzelda]

To augment the harsh truth Sands is giving, I've had a few experiences in chat where I wanted to help another member and had to give a circlejerk pity party (that was a bit more public). And for most people, it works, they have their pity party, they feel a little bit better about themselves and their tulpas, and they move to bigger and greater things, more power to them. But there's people who are so intelligent, that no matter what you do to console them, or making these people feel at ease, they will counterattack all your attempts because they'll know you're consoling them.

 

That's why they're fucking attentionwhores when they're aware of it and they don't take gratitude in the group thinking for consolation. And before someone says I'm a hypocrite with the misconceptions I had about Sands and him picking out who's just looking for pity parties, he's right. It's actual truth on the IRC and the forums, but I realize that because he's addressing it doesn't make him an attentionwhore, he's just stating the facts, pure and simple.

 

The whole point with circlejerking in pity parties is for the person that has the problem to actually acknowledge their shortcomings and faults in why they're failing so much in making and interacting with their tulpa. Helping people has its limits when you SEE that person not taking into consideration of the advice you give them, which is why sometimes you have to be a bit aggressive, not in terms of trying to destroy them, but distracting them with the aggression so that you tell them what they're looking for in their circlejerking pity parties. This approach only applies to people who won't BUDGE at all to the slightest mention of advice from ANYONE.

 

That's why it's annoying, that's why the pity parties get annoying, because people are RELYING ONLY on the pity parties instead of just using it as one of MANY ways to deal with their own petty little problems of how they can't force well enough. It gets to the point where people like me who are forcing for hours on end when they have time and love every single fucking moment of it because I know it will help me reach the breakthrough (a vocal tulpa proficient in mind-voice and auditory imposition mostly), but most people don't have the urgency of doing and pushing their mental boundaries more.

 

It becomes a concern of people gaining the ability to actually DO things with their tulpa, but also considering other means of gaining insight, but not lending too much faith in gravitating only on one option. But like Sands mentioned, some people really do need to talk to their tulpa before they try to be versatile with the private circle jerking and other means for consolation. But if it's something for insight that the host and tulpa aren't looking for consolation, but rather just personal opinion and gaining knowledge, they should feel free to do so! But don't glorify your personal problems because the problems are ad nauseum, they're so common, nothing revolutionary, which is why people just need to do research, read guides, ask questions (without encroaching personal feelings too much), and experiment.

 

And as for what Sands stated already with what he's trying to show with tough love, he's dead accurate on how if you can deal with him, you have some competence in knowing how to handle your life in the real world (prime example is don't go spewing in the real world that you have a tulpa when you know there will be people that will question you for having one). Because then when you see what Sands is doing (which is needed, despite of whatever people misinterpret it like I did before), you have to imagine what it would be like to discuss "tulpa" to a scientist, a therapist, or anyone that would heavily consider you should be in solitary confinement or go through therapy because you have thought-forms in your head

 

Tulpa.info is a safe haven for people to be more expressive instead of pulling back their punches, where they can slap each other a bit, because they know they're just helping each other out for a better future with Science being involved into this.

 

It's the type of interaction where it seems as if we're the bad guys, but we're just trying to get these people's asses to think more and don't make trivial and petty things get the best of you.

 

- Can't interact with your tulpa? Big deal. Not something unique here.

 

- Can't have consistent mind voice with your tulpa? Push your mental capacity more and know your limits and gradually increase your active forcing, learn to experiment.

 

-Think you're parroting your tulpa from start to finish? Top lel, don't glorify your conscious mind, the unconscious plays a much bigger role, and you just need to be aware of it.

 

- Want mods to welcome you in warm arms? Fine, but Scientists like Richard Dawkins or any scientist for that matter will welcome you with a ticket to the asylum or destroy you in a debate instead. Find ways, methods, ideologies, etc. that are intellectual and would persuade them to give a shot at analyzing tulpa through Scientific means.

 

 

We understand that this forum is a safe haven, but we just shouldn't take too much advantage of it and make ourselves spoiled. We all can be intellectual individuals if we take care of the little things first, and then make discussions like this that shows what we're capable of using the safe haven to find ways to deal with the real world, not just for circlejerking pity parties.

 

That's all Sands, me, and anyone that seems to be a bit too aggressive is going for. If you have an existential crisis with your tulpa, that's what comes with growing sentience, sapience, self-actualizing. Find ways to cope with it so that you evolve from it and become better individuals to deal with real life. It's a passing thing, but it must be acknowledged and analyzed and resolved. Don't ignore it.

[TulpaCouple]

All fine and well, but I don't see when this became a thread for tuppers feeling uncertain about their existence. It was about hosts lying they had a tupper when they didn't and confessing to lying, also finding out that there were other ones doing the exact same thing.

 

My original point was less about tulpas feeling uncertain and more about feeling uncomfortable dealing with exactly what you said. Both of my tulpas honestly cringe when dealing with a barrage of /me *cuddlewuddles jaden*, *picks him up and carries him in a purse((like a damn dog what the hell))* , etc. etc. and have been chastised before for not responding in kind or appreciating being roleplayed at. It's awkward. And it's even more awkward when situations like this roll around where a host has actively lied and still participated in the community, trying to convince hosts, new and old, as well as their tulpas that they are legit. I've seen tulpas and hosts who lost friends after realizing their friend was actively being made up by a host who thought the entire community was roleplayers. That's.. not a safe community for tulpas to be in. Realizing tulpas were lied about, realizing that other hosts actively try to fool the community--The frustration we feel from that can be easily doubled through the eyes of a tulpa who's existence came about from knowledge in this website.

 

As for your worries of tuppers not having a place on .info anymore, that's a valid worry that has been mentioned in this thread. And it is true for anyone who wants to be serious about tuppers, tuppers and hosts alike. It is looking more and more like there is no place for you unless you are doing back and forth roleplaying for attention and showing off your whatever. There are multiple forums where you can roleplay on the internet. But there's not that many forums that are places where you can talk about tuppers freely. Why try changing the tupper site into a roleplaying site? I'll never understand the people who do that.

 

And nothing is being done.

 

What do you suggest be done?

 

Deleting every post where the user was too silly or roleplayish? That would be a very slippery slope that could easily be interpreted on an individual basis very wrongly. I will admit that I'm stumped on how to deal with this.

[Sands]

Oh no I was talking to the person above me, not you. Should've quoted to make it obvious but you know, was right above me so I'm lazy. I understand your point very well, just not what Nobilis suddenly started talking about. Felt very out of place in this thread.

 

You should already know that I almost never suggest deleting posts unless it's obvious spam, even when the post was shit. And well we talked about how to deal with shitty posts that make people cry in IRC a while back already, so no need to go back to that I think. As for a lot of the ridiculous shit, telling others not to do it can work pretty well. First you must understand that it's a problem, which many mods don't, which is the reason why this shit is going nowhere. One mod wanting change won't be enough, I'm afraid. A lot of my bitching on these forums has been telling reasons why something is wrong and why it hurts out community. I don't know what else to do to convince the ones who actually have the power.

 

But hanging out in #tuppers, I've noticed that the ones who are willing to give up their badges when asked to and notice that it isn't the best way to handle things are the ones worth keeping around. We're also asking people to limit /me whoring, with good results. People don't like it when you just say NO, but they like it when you give them reasons, assuming they are reasonable human beings who can understand someone else's point as well. Right now it's feeling like we're giving tons of reasons why something is bad in this community and then some other mod comes in and says NO to us. No compromises are happening. Mods are happy being lazy and doing the minimum amount of work that doesn't require any talking with their members.

 

I know you're trying, Kate. A lot of us are trying too, but it looks like we're just not enough, huh? I am pretty happy that many of our posts calling out someone else's stupid actions have been left there, though. Maybe mods are too lazy to delete shit now, but it definitely is a step in the right direction, though I'm not sure if it's enough. You can let us help you and nudge the people in the right direction, assuming we don't get warned and put on post moderation because someone cried.

[Linkzelda]

 

 

What do you suggest be done?

 

Deleting every post where the user was too silly or roleplayish? That would be a very slippery slope that could easily be interpreted on an individual basis very wrongly. I will admit that I'm stumped on how to deal with this.

 

Maybe something to take into consideration on the forum side is making more sections and sub-forums that can organize things a bit better.

 

Sometimes I feel that the guide section, despite of the tags and all, is a bit of a cluster. And despite of the Large List of Guides that's sectioned off pretty well in a thread, since I doubt 99% of newcomers actually CLICK the guide section, it might be better to make sub-forums under the section for "Guides" so that it's more obvious to them.

 

This way, they can click the sub-forums for certain categories that are separate from each other (General, Forcing, Personality, Sentience, Doubt & Motivation etc.). The same goes for making a questions and answers catered only to what is discussed for the specific sub-forum in guides. This way, it's a lot more organized, and anyone that made a guide can help people out while the actual guide section would just be used for the guide-maker to make updates.

 

Kind of like having just the Guide alone in one section with its sub-forums and then Questions and Answers right under that with the same sub-forums for more specific and accurate questions.

 

Because sometimes those Questions and Answers tend to leak into General Discussion. And maybe General Discussion should have its own sub-forums as well. And most importantly, maybe an off-topic sub-forum that relates to something like a "Help!" section where users can ask personal questions and real life issues. That way, the people who console others on IRC have their own section as well without having the General Discussion and Questions and Answers (for methods and guides only) degraded with petty complaints/issues/concerns/etc.

 

And if need be, probably a section only for role-playing for those who might need to get the initial stages off before breaking away from that, but of course, that's kind of going into muddy waters...really muddy waters (because I know some people narrate for the sake of talking things out with their tulpa). It's just that despite of what seems to be varied sections right now, it tends to create huge clusters and horrible navigation (even though the search function is easy as hell).

 

This will obviously mean more moderation in shifting things to their proper place, but if more sections and sub-forums are made, there's less need to delete things (unless they're spam), and something more orderly.

[glitchthe3rd]

A lot of this goes back to what I've been saying all along: that the IRC is the root of our problems. It makes new people think rolelpaying is ok, and/or that we're not serious about tulpaforcing. The mods there ban anyone that expresses an even slightly inflammatory opinion, while doing nothing about the so-called hugboxing. Quite frankly, I've grown tired of it.

[Kiahdaj]

A lot of this goes back to what I've been saying all along: that the IRC is the root of our problems. It makes new people think rolelpaying is ok, and/or that we're not serious about tulpaforcing. The mods there ban anyone that expresses an even slightly inflammatory opinion, while doing nothing about the so-called hugboxing. Quite frankly, I've grown tired of it.

 

All of this.

The IRC really has done the most damage, I think.

[TulpaCouple]

A lot of this goes back to what I've been saying all along: that the IRC is the root of our problems. It makes new people think rolelpaying is ok, and/or that we're not serious about tulpaforcing. The mods there ban anyone that expresses an even slightly inflammatory opinion, while doing nothing about the so-called hugboxing. Quite frankly, I've grown tired of it.

Maybe it is time to remove the three day wait where people are encouraged to visit the IRC? I would love new member to get an automatic message with links to guides and stickies and important reads. Sure some might not read it and we might end up with the same question a few times(hell, this still happens) but as it is now we end up with serious members frightened away by the irc before ever being allowed to post here

[Kiahdaj]

Maybe it is time to remove the three day wait where people are encouraged to visit the IRC? I would love new member to get an automatic message with links to guides and stickies and important reads. Sure some might not read it and we might end up with the same question a few times(hell, this still happens) but as it is now we end up with serious members frightened away by the irc before ever being allowed to post here

 

For some reason it never occurred to me that those who do have to wait three days would be encouraged to go to the IRC in stead.

That could be a fairly large contributor.

I understand why it was put there for in the first place, but I do have to wonder which is worse.

[Zer0.iNSaNiTY]

Honestly... the IRC is beginning to scare even me. It's like the ocean in there, either everyone is silent or everyone is talking at once you have no clue what's going on and everything that's happening is more or less complete nonsense. Personally though, I think we should remove the three day ban. When I first came on here I didn't even realize we had a chat since it was located off to the side, so I actually didn't go in there until my three-day wait was over. However, I'm not really observant ^^; Though if you make someone wait three days to post on the forums, they will look for other places to ask and talk about tulpas, aka the IRC. If you let them post immediately, or at least make the wait shorter, they'll probably post immediately in the forums and will be less likely to go out and find some other place to talk about tulpas until later. You'll get some repeated questions, but if you reorganize the forums to make everything easier to find without relying on the search so much (which i should say is located far off at the bottom corner of the page where no one can see, cuz i seriously didn't realize it was there until like a month ago) they'll be less of them. It'll encourage new people more than discourage, and maybe with less traffic in the IRC things will calm down a little bit over there.

[Sands]

Search is way up there though.