Hearing and Blocking?

[LavenderRice]

Hello. I found out about tulpa maybe 3 weeks ago and have just recently looked at tulpa.info (about a week ago) and even more recently started outlining my tulpa.

 

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A little backstory that doesn't involve tulpa:

Every now and then, when I would be going to bed, I would hear multiple different voices in my head. There would be male and female voices, though the age was hard to tell. They were soft but I could still tell that they were just saying my first name and perhaps "hello" (which was rare). This was only when I was purposely closing my eyes, about to go to sleep (no accidental passing out from exhaustion).

 

For a few years, I had gotten into the habit of "blocking" part of my mind. Reason I was doing this was because there was a guy I liked that I saw pretty often during the day at school, but it was painful to be around him because of his indifference (even though my feelings were somewhat obvious) and partly my jealousy of him hanging around other girls all parts of the day. When I say "block", I don't mean physically blocking as some people like to assume. I mean blocking an emotion...the one that would cause me pain. I did this for many years (about 1-1 1/2) and ended up to where I didn't have to concentrate at all and it happened naturally (for over a year- 1 1/2)

 

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My question is this: While I'm assuming the voices that I would hear before I went to bed (last remembered was a few months ago, closer to almost a year ago I think though am unsure) were not related to tulpa, the one I am hearing recently may be. Soon after I started actively researching tulpa, I started hearing this faint voice in my head, normally so faint and quick I wouldn't be able to tell what it said. It would only be one and it would be during parts of my day, not just right before I went to bed. The bad thing about this is that whenever I focus on this voice, it disappears and this saddens me. I'd really love to communicate with my tulpa, whether it be the one that is currently appearing in my mind or one that I will create once I outline the one I mentioned earlier.

 

The most recent occurrence was 1-2 days ago, which was when I found out it was a male. His voice was very deep and, while I can't remember what I was doing (though I do know I found it rather amusing), he laughed...Like laughed as if he genuinely found it funny. I really would like to hear his voice clearly and without disappearing when I focus on it.

 

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I'm assuming he is a tulpa as the time I would hear him and how clear his voice was differed from the multiple voices I was hearing many months ago. If someone would please give me advice on how to let myself hear him better, I would really appreciate it!!!!

 

Edit: It may be helpful to point out that I've been drawing since '09...so I could've easily unknowingly created a tulpa. Just as a side thought for those reading this.

[Shui]

About your blocking, I've done something similar. I actually blocked out entire thoughts, to the point of erasing my memory of certain things. But that's beside the point.

 

The voices you hear when you're falling asleep are a pretty common form of audio hallucination. They're not normally connected with tulpa, but I've been noticing that people who are working on tulpa seem to get them a lot more, and in greater variety, so it's possible that tulpa might use them as an early form of communication.

 

This other voice is different. It might have been caused by your blocking. I don't think you made a tulpa by drawing, but I do think this voice can become a tulpa very easily if you allow it to and work at it.

[Thunderfrost]

I doubt any of the voices from before could be related to your tulpa, and based off of my experience with blocking memories, I have never had anything odd like that happen, though I unintentionally block.

 

The voices you hear when you're falling asleep are a pretty common form of audio hallucination. They're not normally connected with tulpa, but I've been noticing that people who are working on tulpa seem to get them a lot more, and in greater variety, so it's possible that tulpa might use them as an early form of communication.

 

I think tulpas try to communicate early on in a form best suited for you. In my case, Callista transmitted feelings by sort of "pressing" them into me, which I think is common. Since you have heard these voices before, it's quite possible your tulpa sees that as the most reliable form of communication.

 

You just have to keep working and his voice will get clearer. It was a long time for me before Callista tried to talk at all, though she's a perfectionist and wanted to make her words crisp from the start. There's no clear way you can make the voice clearer in any timely fashion, I would guess. Continue to acknowledge it and I hope eventually you'll find the answers yourself. :)

[waffles]

The voices heard when going to sleep as you describe are hypnagogic voices, or hypnagogic speech; it is very much normal. And I have no idea what the 'blocking' has to do with anything.

 

You have assumed that the voice you hear is a tulpa and therefore your question becomes "How do I hear my tulpa better?". If you have really been "actively researching" the phenomenon then you should have probably realised that the answer to this is very simple: force more. Or if you haven't started, start.