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BurningFox's Tulpa Tracker


BurningFox6

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Day 96: Rebound

 

Alright, I'm feeling better, and hopefully for real this time. If anyone's interested, have some notes on the effects disease has on tulpa:

 

-I've read about some tulpas getting alongside their creators. For me, this didn't happen, but the resulting headaches/inability to focus broke off any connection with her

-Her prescense turned on and off, and the same goes for touch. Voice also seems to have gotten quieter again.

-She was able to help ease up some of the headaches and coughing, and seemed genuinely worried for me from time to time.

 

Anyway, for today's session, we spent the first ten minutes with a reading session to finish a book we've been reading, and then spent the rest of the session talking. She actually spoke a decent amount in the same voice, but she's still quiet. At least I'll be able to focus enough to do more talking sessions now.

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Day 98: Something old, something new

 

Ended up splitting today's session in half, in order to cover a couple recent issues.

 

-Something's been bothering my tulpa lately, but due to a pretty inaccurate response system (more on that below), I was at a complete loss as to what it was. Deciding to bring back an old tactic, I temporarily reopened the practice wonderland from who-knows-how-long-ago to see if it'd help her get her point across. In fact, it did; as soon as we got in, she created a mirror and started changing her outfit around. Apparantly, she's fine with her current form as far as I'm aware, but she wants a different default look. Fair enough. We'll work on that when we can.

 

-The response system has been extremely unreliable, though it's gotten us this far. Opting for something a bit more accurate, we tried to switch to a different response, changing from head pain to head pressure. As it turns out, both have their benefits: head pain, wherein she creates a tiny little pinch on one side of my head to show her response, was extremely noticeable but not perfectly accurate. Head pressure, which is the same thing with pressure being put on each side instead, is much more accurate, but pretty hard to notice if you're not actively paying attention. Gonna stick with head pressure for now and research to see if there's a better system somewhere. Or we could get vocalization working and there'd be no need for responses, that works too.

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Day 99: Same ol', same ol'

 

Just a simple session today, split between reading and talking. Took the chance to work on pressure responses whenever possible, and it's still pretty accurate. Going to try and see if there's a way to pump up the pressure and make it more noticeable.

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Day 100: Broked it

 

Gah. Spent the session working on responses and talking, only for responses to completely break halfway through. After that point all she could say was yes, and sometime near the end of the session, she couldn't say anything at all. I'm going to put responses on the backburner in order to focus on getting voice to work, like I should've been.

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Day 101: Vocalization Boot Camp

 

My tulpa's been gone pretty much the entire day. Even during the session, she was only about half there. As of the next morning she still feels a bit disconnected, but we'll see if she fully returns later on.

 

The session was full-on vocalization practice (speaking exercises and generic questions), in an attempt to get it working. It actually went pretty well; we got some very quiet responses, and large amounts of tinnitus. Gonna keep it up tomorrow, and possibly try out something I read about.

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Day 102: Tulpa Idol

 

Well, today was a blast. After reading about a karaoke session (playing a song and listening to it in your tulpa's voice), I decided to try it out in hopes of furthering vocalization. I'm not sure how much it helped, but hot damn, it was fun. It only took seconds for her to get into it, turning my room into a dance floor as she sung. There's nothing funnier than your tulpa spontaneously air guitaring mid-song. Definately gonna try and do this more often, with some other vocalization exorcises mixed in.

 

As for effects, I can hear her pretty well during songs, though any possible tinnitus is blocked by headphones. I tried both lyrical and instrumental songs (of songs with lyrics, of course), and lyrical songs seem to be easier to imagine her voice with. It's pretty draining, though; by the end of the session my brain was tired and my tulpa could barely stand. Definitely worth it, though.

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Day 103: First Contact

 

She's finally spoken for the first time, both loud enough to be heard and at the right time to be heard. It wasn't much, just one word, but anything is far better than nothing. It went something like:

 

"*Insert generic question*, right?"

"Right."

 

She's quieted down since then, most likely preparing for another progress leap. Today's session was a simple chat one, and I played a song or two during the day for her to karaoke with. It's hard to hear her voice for songs today, so I'll probably wait a few days before we try any singing based sessions again.

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Thanks, mate. I always just assumed people were just lurking.

 

If anyone wants to ask me something, by all means, go ahead, and I'll answer to the best of my abilities. The only thing I can't speak about yet is her name/form; I'll just cover that in one post when we actually know what she'll end up as.

 

Day 104: Long night

 

Nice, long chat session today. Couldn't sleep, so I just ended up talking to her for an hour or so. I think she eventually fell asleep herself, though. Show off.

 

Her vocalization's have been pretty strong, but only for things such as yes and no. Longer sentences are still pretty quiet, but it's getting to the point where she can answer with either responses or voice.

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