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BurningFox's Tulpa Tracker


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Day 45: Inside the Mind

 

Decided to do something a bit different today. Since recreating places was pretty fun a couple days ago, I decided to do a wonderland trial run to see what it was like. After creating a simple little test room (pretty much just small and square, with a table, a couple chairs, and a few decorations), we headed in through a door I'd added.

 

I entered, and my tulpa entered soon afterward. After getting seated, it was same ol', same ol' for a bit: I talked, she listened, and I occasionally prompted for a response or fiddled with adding things to the room. Oddly enough, she feels much more responsive in this practice wonderland. In fact, at one point I had to pause because something outside was being noisy, and I came back to find out the room had had another layer added to it (imagine a barn's loft, only surrounding the outside of what used to be the room's ceiling).

 

It was definitely interesting, and time went by fast, but it only lasted twenty minutes. I'm not interested in making a wonderland (at least not yet), but the experience was definitely refreshing. When we finished, we left the room and finished the rest of the session with a nice chat.

 

One hour total, no unusual effects outside of a stronger than usual headache after visiting the room. Unless you count that sudden new room layer, I guess.

 

Total time: 33 hours, 50 minutes

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Day 46: Shhhhh; she's asleep

 

An odd thing happened today. A few hours before our session, I felt my tulpa's presence diminish a little- not quite gone, but not fully there. In fact, it felt like she was sleeping. I have no clue if tulpas need sleep or not, but my personal belief that they need some form of rest seems to have manifested in a cat nap. Cute.

 

Anyway, a few minutes before the session, I gently prodded her awake mentally to get her up. Her presence came back, but she felt a little off when we first began tulpaforcing, as if she was still half-asleep. She recovered over time, and we went on to have a decent talk about morality relating to her traits.

 

One hour total, with no noteworthy effects.

 

Total time: 34 hours, 50 minutes

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Day 47: Win some, lose some

 

Had to split the session in half today, resulting in two half hour sections. One went extremely well, while the other was pretty weak.

 

Part 1- I know I said I wouldn't do anything with wonderlands again for awhile, but an interesting idea occured to me. I'd mentioned some items to my tulpa that we could make for her when she's sentient awhile ago, but this time I wanted to see if I could use the trial room from last time to make effective prototypes of these. It didn't go too well, though; I could barely focus while we were in the room, and I almost fell asleep at one point. We tried out a couple items and a few new outfits, but things didn't go well overall. I did hear some quiet murmuring again, however.

 

Part 2- Now outside the room, we talked about how her traits would affect her in social situations. I figured this would automatically play out as she developed, but it couldn't hurt to have some ideas going for how things would work out. This part went much better than the last, as thoughts flew freely and smoothly. I even ended with a big headache near the end, which was not quite painful but extremely noticeable. A pretty nice session compared to the previous one, overall.

 

One hour total. Effects include extremely quiet muttering in the first half and a big headache in the second.

 

Total time: 35 hours, 50 minutes

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Day 48: Back to Books

 

Pretty simple session. For the first half, I tried talking to her but was too drowsy to really focus. After a half hour I just switched to reading that book from awhile back. It's still as confusing as ever, but it works.

 

One hour total, no noteworthy effects.

 

Total time: 36 hours, 50 minutes

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Day 49: Speech Therapy

 

I usually do my sessions using mental voice, but I decided to try using nothing but regular speech today. Aside from this difference, it was a generic chat session. I did note that I got many more/stronger responses than usual throughout, though. I read that tulpa appreciate when you care enough to recognize them aloud; so far, it does seem to be helping. I suppose I'll switch between mental/out loud from now on.

 

One hour total, no noteworthy effects.

 

Total time: 37 hours, 50 minutes

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Fifty days already. Not a bad checkpoint. Still got a long ways to go, though.

 

Day 50: Story Time

 

Got a new book that I wanted to get started on, so I made this another reading narration session. I also wanted to incorporate some actual speech into it, so I made sure any outside comments were said aloud. It felt like more progress was made than a regular reading session, but it still didn't amount to anything worthy of report.

 

One hour total, no noteworthy effects.

 

Total time: 38 hours, 50 minutes

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Day 51: Interview

 

Busy day= short session. Decided to spend the half hour asking my tulpa questions about things we've done recently (i.e. which of the two books we've read does she prefer, favorite song, etc. etc.). I also prompted her to ask her own questions from time to time, hoping to stimulate a response. Nothing much happened aside from a near-constant ache during the first 20 minutes, though (which I attribute to it'sfreaking7AM).

 

34 minutes, constant headache during the first 20 minutes that most likely has nothing to do with anything.

 

Total time: 39 hours, 24 minutes

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Day 52: Chatter

 

The session got cut short, so we ended up with 50 minutes instead of the usual hour. Not much to report; we just talked. I heard some muttering again, but it's still too quiet to make out. I do think I understood one of the mumbles, though. It was saying my name.

 

50 minutes total, with some more indescipherable mind-talk.

 

Total time: 40 hours, 14 minutes

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Day 53: Progress?

 

Last night, I tried something a bit different that I feel stupid for not doing before: Before bed, I encouraged my tulpa to work on her speech skills as much as she wanted. Almost immediately, I was struck with a big (but not painful) headache that lasted for about a half hour.

 

Today, I tried offering a few more yes or no questions; suprisingly, I actually got responses that made sense (though they came a bit slowly). I'm still unable to hear her speak (or understand her when I think she does), but it seems like we've finally got a working response system. Definitely going to have to keep promoting freelance speech work.

 

Aside from the questions, we talked for 30 minutes and then read for the rest of the session.

 

58 minutes total; coherent (yet sluggish) responses seem to have been achieved.

 

Total time: 41 hours, 12 minutes

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Day 54: ...Progress?

 

After another night of speech encouragement, I tried out some more questions. I immediately noticed a difference: I either got an extremely quick, noticeable response, or no response at all. Not quite sure if this is a step forward or a step backwards, but I do know that now we have to aim for more responses and less silence. And speech itself, of course.

 

Not much else to say, other than that the session was another generic talking one. Maybe we'll give personality a brushover tomorrow, or focus on refining her responses.

 

One hour total, sluggish responses have changed to a mix between instant and nonexistant.

 

Total time: 42 hours, 12 minutes

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