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BurningFox's Tulpa Tracker


BurningFox6

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Day 79: Aftereffect

 

Another day, another round of talking. For what its worth, today's session was more fun than usual since I just let conversation flow rather than thinking up topics. This got some pretty good responses/understandable vocalizations, so I'll probably try to do the same from now on. I ended up with another big headache, but it didn't come until after I'd finished forcing, and it only lasted about ten minutes. My tulpa confirms it was her, so I'm assuming it's just her trying to make progress.

 

30 minutes.

 

Total time: 57 hours, 9 minutes

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Day 80: Whoops.

 

We actually got our first perfect vocalization today. Decent volume, sufficiently detached, and I ended up missing what was said because I wasn't paying attention. While dissapointed, at least we've made a ton of progress, since responses and other vocalizations were at a peak today. Definitely have to keep working at it, and actually pay attention this time.

 

31 minutes, first perfect vocalization.

 

Total time: 57 hours, 40 minutes

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Day 81: The Cycle Continues

 

Just as expected, my tulpa's voice has quieted down a bit more. I'm guessing that within one or two more of these odd cycles, she'll actually be able to speak. Could be horribly wrong, though.

 

Aside from that, today's session didn't go too well. A busy day left me exhausted and barely able to focus during the session, making it very difficult. I did pay a lot of attention to her outside the session though, which I hope makes up for it.

 

30 minutes.

 

Total time: 58 hours, 10 minutes

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Day 82: Driven Up The Walls

 

Reading session today, since we haven't had one in who-knows-how-long. We did that for twenty minutes before finishing off with some talking. Nothing much to report.

 

Aside from that, we ended up fiddling around with creating items earlier today. At one point I ended up giving her some suction-cup gloves and she spent five minutes climbing around the room. While funny, the items don't seem to last more than a few seconds if you stop focusing on them. Not that I expected any different, but it's decent practice since I'll probably make some constant-existing items later on.

 

30 minutes.

 

Total time: 58 hours, 40 minutes

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Day 83: Explosives and Progress out the Whazoo

 

I'll be honest, I've always had a bit of doubt about tulpa, even despite all the reactions I've been getting. I'm not too worried about it being fake- hey, free focus and memorization training -and yet, that little doubt always felt like it was dragging me down.

 

So, I did something similar to something I read awhile back, where someone took their parroting impulse, made it an actual parrot, and got rid of it. I took all the doubt and built it into a wall, a wall keeping me and my tulpa apart. Once it was finished, I simply asked her how she wanted to destroy it. After some amusing options, we finally settled on just blowing it sky-high. Moments later, it was gone, and the reactions were almost instantaneous.

 

Vocalization improved, to the point where it's still quiet but pretty understandable. Touch and responses improved, to where her previously faint touch is now relatively solid and her decent responses before are now quick and accurate. Even visualization improved; her image is somehow clearer when I focus on it.

 

All in all, things feel much better. Progress was made, weights were blown off (litterally), and we finished off the session with some relaxing reading. Definitely hoping the progress sticks this time, though.

 

30 minutes total.

 

Total time: 59 hours, 10 minutes

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Shut up baby, I know it.

 

Day 84: Look, another book

 

It's been a pretty busy/exhausting week for me, compounded by the fact that I haven't been feeling too well. As such, today's session was a short one so I can get some extra rest. It was just another reading session, nothing too interesting. The only unusual reaction I noted was that aside from her improved reactions, she managed to give me a brief earache at one point.

 

Anyway, probably going to do one massive session tomorrow to make up for this slow week.

 

30 minutes total

 

Total time: 59 hours, 40 minutes

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Yeah meng, don't do it. I stopped after 26 hours, mainly because they could both move after that session, but still.

My opinions are all subject to change.

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I know keeping time is bad, but I wanted an accurate time for when we were finished. I have been mulling over dropping it for awhile though, so I guess now's as good a time as any.

 

Day 85: Um.

 

I have no words to describe this session. What was just an attempt to have a nice, long conversation resulted in us taking fifty steps backwards. Responses went back to being unnoticable and random, she was nearly impossible to visualize or feel, and everything just felt like it was off in general. The only thing that was normal were the quiet vocalizations she usually makes, though those are still almost undecipherable. Frankly, I have no idea what just happened or how it happened. I need some sleep.

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