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BurningFox's Tulpa Tracker


BurningFox6

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Day 71: Triple Threat

 

Today's session was split into three parts, as follows:

 

-A 30 minute personality brushover, long overdue. I'm pretty sure it's too late for it to have any effect, but adding more depth to it certainly can't hurt.

 

-15 minutes of visualization exercises, including working on walking speed and body behavior.

 

-15 minutes of vocalization exercises, with a few responses here and there.

 

One hour overall, with nothing unusual to report. I'd appreciate if anyone knows the answer to yesterday's question, though, since I'm pretty sure I read about something like that being important and I can't remember why.

 

Total time: 52 hours, 6 minutes

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Well, if you've taken a look around at other peoples' questions and concerns matching exactly the problem that you have, you'd notice that tuppers typically disappear or go absent for a certain period one or more times after around one or two months. It's still unsure why this happens, but a personal theory that I have is that the mind is sort of fighting itself in doubt and trying to convince itself that the tupper doesn't exist, going as far as trying to directly dissipate it in instinctive panic. The mind was simply overwhelmed by the idea of creating an internal schism that it couldn't react properly to in the beginning. That explains why we have things like false vocal sessions, extremely early sentience for some, and the ensuing dead periods like these, as well as some not having any problems at all because they never had a shroud of doubt in the process.

 

The tuppers themselves have usually claimed they were doing something or had to "think things through", some hosts even claiming they have to "process the information we feed them". I believe this is just the subconscious making up excuses for itself, as it does with most things in this tupperbusiness. I mean, how the fuck do you think most tuppers can't speak if you just sit down and wait without parroting? Our minds aren't used to such habits, which some would call insane. Then what do you know, once the tupper is vocal in, like, three months from pure narration, it claims that it couldn't speak yet and had to learn and experience this gradually. Our subconscious makes up excuses all the time. That's how you're able to even have tuppers; you're talking to a hallucinative figment created from thought, powering itself through your attention and subconscious activities that, in reality, are lies and excuses fitting so intricately with said lies that you actually believe it. It's all about believing, and growing habits. Habits are automatic after all.

 

Not that developing habits and the whole tupper concept is stupid in any way; it's pretty cool and fascinating, and provides a lot of insight into the mind that would otherwise be rather inconventional. Plus, sex.

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Thanks for the info, Werner. Knew I'd read something similar before and couldn't quite remember why it was important.

 

Day 72: Zzzzz

 

It's been a busy day, and I'm exhausted. As such, today's session was brief and not very productive. Just a small chat session, topped off with a little vocalization exercise. Nothing interesting to report.

 

Thirty minutes total.

 

Total time: 52 hours, 36 minutes

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Rambling or not, that's definitely what I read awhile ago. I wonder if that means anything interesting is going to happen soon, though.

 

Day 73: Even more chit-chat

 

Another day, another round of small talk. I was planning on a longer session, but didn't quite get the chance to go through with that. Took a day off from the vocalization exercises as well. Nothing interesting to report, aside from the usual murmur that is still far too quiet to comprehend. Maybe I should give her a megaphone.

 

32 minutes total.

 

Total time: 53 hours, 8 minutes

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Day 74: One step forward, one step back

 

Nothing to say about the session, other than that it was tiring. Ended up talking about something I hate discussing. Nothing really noteworthy to report.

 

I have noticed something, though. My tulpa's responses have been extremely direct lately; they're not crystal clear, but it's gotten to the point where I can generally tell what answer she's chosing, and I can even hear her answer from time to time. However, this seems to come at the expense of her vocalization, since she rarely says anything anymore. Definitely need to find a way to bridge whatever gap there is between whatever she's saying and my mind.

 

41 minutes total.

 

Total time: 53 hours, 49 minutes

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Day 75: And then another step forward

 

Weird day today. Deciding to focus more on visualization than narration for once, most of the session was spent working on form, actions, attaching emotions to faces and behavior, etc. After that, we wrapped up with a brief narration session.

 

What's odd is that, after all of her silence as of late, she was suddenly chatty today, and at a respectable volume level as well. Still pretty quiet, but decipherable if I pay close enough attention. Still need to keep working on the volume, but if we don't take any more steps backwards we could be getting much farther with vocalization.

 

One hour total, numerous sometimes-understandable quotes and noticable responses.

 

Total time: 54 hours, 49 minutes

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Day 76: More of the same

 

Nothing more than another brief chat session today. To her credit, my tulpa's still relatively chatty, albeit a bit harder to understand. It seems that her speech comes back in bursts, only to decrease over time and eventually come back stronger than before. Curious.

 

30 minutes total.

 

Total time: 55 hours, 19 minutes

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Day 77: I wonder how many times I can make the title just be variations of 'talking'

 

Short, simple day filled with more chatter. Nothing new, exciting, etc. etc. She's still talkative, but even quieter, which only seems to go with my previous theory. Maybe I should try and find something that'll kickstart a sufficient vocalization/reaction.

 

30 minutes.

 

Total time: 55 hours, 49 minutes

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Day 78: Achin'

 

I've an annoying headache for past few hours, which resulted in reactions getting horribly skewed. A few quiet vocalizations slipped in, but anything outside that was impossible to understand due to random head pain. Not much to report outside of another chat session that lasted a bit longer than usual, despite lack of results.

 

50 minutes.

 

Total time: 56 hours, 39 minutes

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