The Chronicle of Renault Novus

[NariusV]

The time I had an argument with my tulpa, well was more of a misunderstanding on my part, but when we talked it though I came around to her point of view and saw things differently. I came to realize some assumptions that I had made simply were not true and I was reacting instinctively on my assumptions rather than what was really going on.

 

Having an adviser seems like a great benefit! It sounds like he is the kind of guy who can look at things objectively without getting all caught up in the situation. Maybe ask for his advice. Then talk about what happens with him afterward (whether it worked or didn't). Then he might be able to might provide a solid backup and way to get a handle on making some progress. In fact is sounds like you are already working on that :) What I mean is that talking about your feelings with Andy might be a good thing since he can provide another viewpoint, even though the talk with him isn't about your feeling with or about him. I'm interested to hear how your experiments turn out!

 

Thanks for sharing :)

[AvengedSevenfold]

Renny and I have talked about possessing and switching. It seems that he want's to switch with me...permanently. "Let's be honest. You hate where you are, and I hate to see you like this." I can't say that I'm opposed to the idea.

I understand that my view on this may change in the future, but for now, that is what we are working towards.

 

Our session last night focused around this. We tried different things. He tried just "pushing" me out of the way, but it didn't get anywhere, even if I tried to help. "Like trying to push a giant block of lead." Eventually, I came up with the idea of somehow transferring "energy", if you will (although I personally hate to describe it this way). I was surprised at what we were able to accomplish. We somehow made it so that Renny was the dominant consciousness. It took a long time, was difficult, and only lasted for about 30 seconds, but it happened. I still had control of the body and everything, but at that moment, he was more powerful than me, which was more than a little odd.

 

During the time that he was more dominant, I felt strange, almost suppressed. He asked me how I was doing, what it felt like, etc. There were moments where I had difficulty communicating with him; I wanted to say something, but words didn't come to me.

Renny told me that he felt like had more mental room. I told him that it didn't make sense, but he said he felt more free.

 

(By the way, I do want to comment on what you guys posted, but I don't have time right now.)

[AvengedSevenfold]

I forgot to mention that I gave Renny a device that transferred mental dominance to him. It's one of those things that I'm not sure how it works, but it does.

It's rather sexual in nature, so I'm not comfortable with discussing how it looks.

 

We managed to repeat last night's results multiple times in one session. I think that they also lasted longer.

What's odd is that I ended the session and started to get up, but Renny said "No, come back here!", the body collapsed, and

He meant it in a playful way, not in anger or something, in case you were wondering.

 

 

Kari is Amethyst. She's delightful' date=' but prone to some mood swings and easy to wear her heart on her sleeve around Arty. [/quote']

Kari says: I AM NOT PRONE TO MOOD SWINGS! Oh...Nevermind.

 

Andy would be Pearl' date=' giving the advice and shuffling Arty along this mental coil. He's based in the solidarity of his advisor role. [/quote']

Andy says: Well, someone has to do it. I swear I'm the only sane one around here.

I'm kidding, of course.

 

That leaves Renny as Garnet. He teases and plays more than Andy does' date=' but understands the issues at hand when the need arises. [/quote']

Renny just smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm pretty great."

 

Arty's just Steven. He's a little lost and stumbling around here with nothing to go on but 'Your parents made you and they're not here anymore, so live' and I know I was one of the people to push him to that decision, but I still feel like it's a rather daunting prospect in retrospect. I look askance now, because I feel like I made him decide this. He's got these three Gems to push him ahead, but that doesn't mean there won't be troubles along the way.

Well, then. I feel uncomfortable when it's put that way. Am I really stumbling around that much?

By the way, I don't think you should somehow think it's your fault. What else were you supposed to say?

 

The time I had an argument with my tulpa' date=' well was more of a misunderstanding on my part, but when we talked it though I came around to her point of view and saw things differently. I came to realize some assumptions that I had made simply were not true and I was reacting instinctively on my assumptions rather than what was really going on.[/quote']

Yeah, seeing things from her point of view is what really changed things. It's kind of silly to think back on my thoughts before.

 

Having an adviser seems like a great benefit! It sounds like he is the kind of guy who can look at things objectively without getting all caught up in the situation. Maybe ask for his advice. Then talk about what happens with him afterward (whether it worked or didn't). Then he might be able to might provide a solid backup and way to get a handle on making some progress. In fact is sounds like you are already working on that :) What I mean is that talking about your feelings with Andy might be a good thing since he can provide another viewpoint' date=' even though the talk with him isn't about your feeling with or about him. I'm interested to hear how your experiments turn out![/quote']

Yeah, he has been a great help, definitely. I don't know where I'd be without him.

I think that's a good idea to talk to him about my feelings. I guess I hadn't really thought about it because he isn't that kind of guy, but getting his objective viewpoint would really help.

[AvengedSevenfold]

For the last gift, I gave Andy a sword. Not just any sword though; it has a golden hilt and a ruby pommel. The cross-guard is a pair of extended wings. The middle part of the blade (called the fuller) is shaped like flames. (Click here if you want to see the different parts of a sword). At first, the blade was steel, but he wanted something a little tougher, so I decided to pull some magical bullshit and turn it into adamantium-vibranium alloy (yeah, like Captain America's shield). From what I've seen, it cleaves through armor and bone with ease.

 

Renny and I continued our experiments with dominance. I'm starting to get more and more comfortable with being, as I call it, "recessive." We tried unplugging the device, and found that we were able to keep our current states without it.

---

Scythe

It's occurred to me that I haven't even mentioned Scythe yet. He is...interesting. Patrick accidentally made him when he came upon the idea of shadows.

 

The thing with Scythe is that he is hateful and sadistic. He loves to torture and kill people. His form shifts between a tall, pale man with a beard and an insubstantial shadow. His voice is a bit raspy.

 

He hasn't bothered me as much as he did with Patrick. I've only had a few incidents with him.

---

I bring this up because there was an incident where Scythe possessed Kari briefly and tried to attack me. I later found out she had talked with him when she was angry and had sex with him. I don't really know the details, and I don't really care to. We've worked it out, so it's water under the bridge.

 

Someone mentioned to me that I should try approaching Scythe with kindness. I had proxied for him in a conversation, and they said that he seemed defensive and angry. I mentioned getting rid of him, but they said it was my responsibility to handle things without resorting to that. I might try this in the future, but I haven't decided yet. I mean, it's difficult to be nice to someone that won't stop mentioning how they want to make you bleed.

[AvengedSevenfold]

Well, I may have discovered a little about Scythe. I made a resolution to improve our relationship, no matter what it took. I ended up making a tribe of goblins for him to have his way with, so he would have something to torture in his spare time.

 

I checked up on him during a forcing session, and found all the goblins bound to torture racks and stretched out. The racks were made to form a circle, and there was a big bonfire in the middle with a cage nearby. Many of goblins displayed different burns, cuts, and other injuries. I found Scythe cutting a goblin with a scalpel.

"Well, they're not the most innocent of creatures, but their screams still satisfy me some," he muttered as I approached.

"Well, this is some setup," I told him.

"I never asked for your approval."

I decided to ignore that. "I wanted to talk to you about something," I said.

"What could you possibly need to ask?" He stuck the scalpel into the chest of the goblin, and started walking away.

I walked beside him. "Well, why do you hate me and my tulpas so much?" I asked.

"Kid, I enjoy torturing and killing. That's it. It's nothing personal against you."

"Why don't you bother me like you did with Patrick?"

"Maybe your own life is torture enough, hm? I find that little input from me is required for you to be suffering, and I enjoy watching. Besides, Andy is a massive pain with his sword, and it's much easier to torture these goblins now than to go for your friends."

 

We talked for a while about other things which I don't remember much about. He was obviously creepy and wierd about everything, but he wasn't unpleasant like before.

 

"Hm...Scythe, you're not too bad of a guy, actually. You're creepy and sadistic, but besides that, you're not too bad."

"Now you've insulted me! Get out."

"But..."

"I SAID GET OUT! GET OUT OF HERE! "

We had a brief skirmish; he attacked me with a sword, but I fended him off with a white staff that I carry around. At the end of it, he was kneeling on the ground, panting. I turned and started to walk away.

"Kid! I think you want this." He called to me. I turned around, and he tossed a key to me. I knew exactly what it was.

"What the...? How did you get this?"

"Someone never checked the bodies, eh?" he said with a wink. With that, he went back to his goblins.

I looked at the key in my hand. It was to a building that contained my subconscious. The only person to ever be given a key and enter the building was Calli. How in the hell had he gotten it, and why did he give it to me?

[Guest Anonymous]

>Half a tulpa

[AvengedSevenfold]

Side note: I'll use "tulpas" instead of "tulpae" from here on.

 

Scythe have reached a "Don't bother me and I won't bother you" type of relationship. We don't really get along all that well, but that's not a real reason to get rid of him.

Regarding the key, I still don't really know how he got it, but he didn't do anything with it so all's well that ends well, I suppose. I gave it to Renny, mainly as a sign of trust.

 

It would seem that Kari has matured because of our past disagreements. She seems to be around 18 years old or so now.

She and Andy are in a relationship. At first, it seemed odd to me, since their personalities are so different, but then I realized how different Renny and I are.

 

Oh yeah, I don't think I've made this obvious yet. Renny and I are "together". This isn't anything new, but I suppose I need to make sure this is known.

 

Renny's mental strength continues to increase at an amazing rate.

He is capable of getting my attention without me thinking about him. He usually does this by calling my name or by saying "Hey!", although I am pretty good at including him in everything.

We've decided to work on possession before we even attempt to switch in order to get control of the body down. As of now, he can move the arms and fingers slowly, but his control is getting better and better rapidly.

[Guest Anonymous]

Side note: I'll use "tulpas" instead of "tulpae" from here on.

 

 

But you won't be like the cool kids.

 

[AvengedSevenfold]

Andy, Kari, Renny, and I had a meeting where we passed judgement on Scythe. We concluded that he was detrimental, and he stubbornly refused to change. We considered three forms of punishment: death, absorption, and stasis. We decided that death was not a good choice; Scythe was known for his persistence and I doubt he would ever truly vanish. Stasis seemed to be too temporary and he's escaped from it before. This left one choice: I would absorb him into myself.

 

There's not much to note about the process itself. I forced him to stay still and placed my hands on him. He became less and less substantial until he was gone completely. It seemed to have worked.

 

I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary for about 6 hours, but eventually I felt the strangest urge: I felt like killing. No, not just kill, but completely destroy. I don't think I need to say that this was VERY unnerving. I had the desire to kill like one might lust after women. Naturally, I expressed my concern to Andy and Renny, who guessed that it was side effect of absorbing Scythe.

 

I tried creating different things in Wonderland and ripping them apart, but found it was hardly satisfying. Sure, I thoroughly enjoyed breaking others' bones and clawing intestines apart, but I found that I simply wanted more. There was no release.

 

I found that Renny is able to supress it to a degree, which has made it significantly easier to deal with, but it exhausts him to do it all day.

 

I'm trying to find a solution to this, but I've never had anything like this before.

[AvengedSevenfold]

I really want to focus on our goal (that being switching), but these things need to be handled.

 

I'm going to see someone for my depression. I guess we'll see how that goes.

 

As for Scythe, I sort of expelled him from myself (so I no longer have the urge to kill things :D). I contemplated just killing him, but decided to attempt to change his personality first as a last-ditch effort. The first thing I did was put him into a stasis-like state and morphed him into an orb-shape, then turned his shadowy color into white, as I felt it symbolized darkness. For the first time ever, I did extensive personality work. It wasn't words as much as ideas of the person I wanted him to be; it's hard to describe. I shouldn't take the credit, because Renny did most of the work since he has more free time than me.

 

Since "Scythe" has a negative connotation, especially for us, we've decided to rename him Semnos, although we call him Sem most of the time. He's vastly different now. He turned out to be extremely shy and tends to get embarrassed easily. I've had only one moment where he talked extensively, when he explained his guilt that he was having, and that he was happy that we didn't kill him off.

So, no, I don't think I'll be getting rid of him. Rejoice, for a lost sheep has returned to the flock!

(For those interested in this type of thing, his MBTI type is ISFP.)

 

I've also asked Andy to spend time with Kari and Sem, not only to give them attention but to also ensure that they both enjoy themselves. I'm worried that Sem won't feel that he's welcome, and I feel that I don't spend enough time with Kari. I understand that we've had our "disagreements" but I want to move past them. No use in dwelling on the past. All's well that ends well, right?

 

EDIT: Semnos' new form