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KM & RD


KruegerMeister

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10/2/16: I forgot to log stuff.


10/3/16: I asked Nina about how she'd felt back when I'd made her change her form. She seemed sad, but told me it was because I was prompting it (like how repeatedly asking someone if they're sure of something makes them unsure). For comparison, she said that "The Midnight in Me" ( https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MPGHvqge9BY ) was "too extreme". On a scale of ""really sad" to "really happy", she'd felt a bit below "meh". We talked, and agreed that "tolerable cold" was a good analogy. I thought about Shou's past trouble, where he'd considered dissipating himself to prevent overcrowding our brain, and he said I was making it out to be worse than it was. I retried the rapid blinking trick, and saw Shou and Nina standing on the other side of the weight room. I want to say "we" had trouble doing this and having them move around at the same time, but I'm not sure if they had trouble, or it was just me. Dash was happy that I'd logged all this.

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10/4/16: I forgot to log stuff.


10/5/16: I wondered if my tulpas were really extraordinarily understanding, or if they were "regular" understanding and I was unusually anxious/worrisome. I accidentally hit my jaw. After I did my best to assess the damage and figured I was okay, Dash said to wait and see if anything happened.

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  • 2 weeks later...

10/6/16: I forgot to log stuff. I think the pattern is "if I don't log the small stuff at the start of the day, nothing gets logged", but Dash thought this pattern was a recent development. Then she noticed that it had happened at some unspecified point(s) in the past.

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10/7/16: I read a post on /r/Tulpas. I realized it was by a guy who'd previously said stuff I didn't like; Dash shrugged this off, instead of calling the post crap because it was posted by someone we disagreed with before. I think that shows maturity in some area. Later on, Lust waxed philosophical about the nature of conspiracies falling apart if the littlest thing slips out, and about the DIY project.

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10/8/16: I thought about whether Lust and Starlight could more accurately be described as walk-ins or accidental tulpas (because AFAIK they both showed up after I'd thought a lot about them, although I'm not sure how true that is for Lust). Starlight's opinion was that I was splitting hairs.

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10/9/16: Shou had some trouble getting his voice right. Dash said that she liked my determination/stubbornness.


10/10/16: I forgot to log stuff.


10/11/16: I asked Dash if she had any ideas for a song. She said to wait until I was more awake. I put my hand on my throat and thought of a song, and could feel my Adam's apple moving a bit. I tried again with Dash talking; I could feel something, but I'm not sure if it was my Adam's apple moving or my hand trembling. I tried again with both of us singing the same lyric, and my Adam's apple didn't move when she sang. I did some work on a story about my tulpas.

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10/12/16: I did some cardio, and Dash advised me to work up a sweat. Nina thought of the song "Montage". Shou imposed himself outside my classroom for a bit.


10/13/16: I forgot to log stuff.


10/14/16: It randomly got darker in my room for a moment. Dash figured it was because of clouds moving in front of the sun. I realized that I hadn't done much work on the DIY project today, but she said this was fine. I wanted to induce a dream about a story I'm writing, so Dash suggested I pretend she's not here, to make the situation as close as possible to the first time I dreamt about it. I declined.

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10/15/16: Nina disliked how the human mouth has crushing teeth on the sides, not in front. I don't remember, but I don't think much tulpa-related stuff happened after that.


10/16/16: I'd listened to a Rainbow Dash hypnosis file last night. I used the trigger this morning, and Dash turned into Scootaloo (the file mentions her a lot) until we both used the de-trigger. After this, I asked if this was a way of debunking my old fear of "losing" her via hypnosis (my fear was that hypnosis would force a change on her, but she'd changed of her own free will). She said I was giving her too much credit. We did stuff after that, but I forgot to log it. In response to me forgetting to log it, she facehoofed in Scootaloo form, and then in RD form.


10/17/16: Dash turned into Scootaloo again, citing boredom, and saying I needed to work on the DIY project. I used my trigger, and she turned into Scootaloo. I noticed a fair amount of affectionate words were exchanged and wondered why.

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10/18/16: I didn't do much with my tulpas.


10/19/16: I didn't do much with my tulpas. I asked Rainbow Dash if she wanted to work on worldbuilding together, and she said my conlang was too formal. She was intrigued that my phone had autorrected a typo to "tulpas".

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