Slip Slip July 11, 2012 Author July 11, 2012 I took a sheet of paper to organize what basic emotions I will infuse. I opened a tab with basic emotions human can experience. I put my pen over the paper to start writing them down. And then I felt a strong feeling of "fuck this wrong shit" in my chest. The feeling out of nowhere rose as fast as a cobra and was very strong. Practically a disgust with an action I was about to take. It just felt so wrong-way to start writing down all basic emotions that theorists decided human can feel and then infusing them in her. Screw this. She is not a robot and I trust my subconsciousness. I will start with character traits like I intended earlier. The emotions are already here, and since we share a sub-c she will feel all range of feel a human can feel. I guess this counts as a first emotional response from her. Five minutes ago. I guess being a pro in talking with myself gave a hand in believing she is already here and that I'm talking to her. I already talk to her and not air, I just feel it, the constant listener.
Slip Slip July 13, 2012 Author July 13, 2012 Whenever I talk aloud, I talk to her. I feel not alone all the time, well, almost all the time. And I'm constantly in realising that I'm in a process of forcing. And I finally realized how to do personality. We will talk about how she is. Like when you describe a person. I plan to constantly tell her what kind of person she is for a week. That will give enough coverage, but still will leave plenty of space for her own maturing and development. I prefer giving her outlines of whom I wish to have near me and leave the rest for her own will. Since she is a sentient being, she will develop herself on her own. I just hope she will be concent with my ideals.
ShyGuy65 July 13, 2012 July 13, 2012 That title is completely and utterly awkward. And I had to remove the RE: to even post this, what the hell.
Slip Slip July 18, 2012 Author July 18, 2012 Days pass, one by one, and not much happens. I talk to her every day, giving her my attention, recognizing her presense, even if she is invisible in every way. Today I managed to write down her overall temperament, in big strokes. I wrote what I desire, my wishes of what I want her to be, so to say. And the rest is up to her when the time comes.
Slip Slip September 6, 2012 Author September 6, 2012 Hiatus is over. Events in real life kept me away from posting results of each day. But the work continued. Alas, I noticed that without duty of reporting steps and work made day by day, I became lenient and lost precious focus. The need to update will keep me in line. Tomorrow I will document here all my progress so far, for science! And forward!
Slip Slip September 7, 2012 Author September 7, 2012 Since I pstponed update up to the bedtime, I can't write a summing up of my progress so far. I did one and a half trait todday. And that's cool, since it wears me out a lot.
Slip Slip September 21, 2012 Author September 21, 2012 With the start of academic year it's been much harder to find time to update. Need to be in the right mood for it, and post requires time. I need to analyze what I achieved and what to write. So far I have Five Umbrella traits, Temperament and six (out of...a lot of planned (so little? I'm surprised)) Character traits covered. It appears some character traits I wrote down way back actually overlap each other, are a case of more detailed part or simply are almost the same thing. So as the time goes I will probably end with a shorter list than I have right now. It takes me a lot of time to write them down. It may take more than an hour or even several takes over a couple of days to analyze one trait. Maybe I take it too serious. Should I take it easier? Or should I continue the way I feel is right? Will it even pay off in the end, or the most important is the attention, and this personality stuff will sort itself out on it's own with time? But I think it pays off. My head strains (like a muscle, these kind of spasms) in that particular spot a lot of people mentioned as a result of successful personality work. And a week ago (time flies fast when the days are busy with studies) I think I heard her. A couple of words, like two or three. I was talking to her without expecting a reply, she was (and is) still a listener, and then I heard a word. I don't even remember what she said. I replied with something and got another one, or two. The answer was not what I could plan, it was an open end from me, I really felt like it. A kind female tone, voice clearly being fresh, not my brain rehearsing the ones I heard during daytime. You people know how it is, when you remember what you heard today while you lie in bed, when you stage scenes and daydreams with different voices in your head. They are different, but you still feel that it is you who says them, like if you read the script out loud or if the tape of the day plays. No, this time it was different. A faint wisper, but clearly tangible and making sense. And the tone is not synthesized by me. There even was no reason for me to say something with female tone - I was rehearing a song and then thinking about two male characters speaking and then started planning the day ahead of me. I am really careful about talking in her place, so no chance of me lying to myself. Was that her talking? Or I fooled myself so skillfully?
Slip Slip October 7, 2012 Author October 7, 2012 Yesterday, while lying in bed falling asleep, I heard her voice. Loud and comprehensible word, clearly not said by me. And that's even before I completed personality step I decided upon. Groovy.
Slip Slip December 23, 2012 Author December 23, 2012 In the triangle of forcing, academic work and posting I chose first two. But now, as I found a minute of inner time, I may as well post a milestone of my achievments. For science! I still work on personality. A couple of traits are basically minor variants of the same brush stroke, so I trew them out of the list. But there are several important ones that I must include, despite the similarities. They are keystones for one of the umbrella traits that I put big hopes into. So the better I flesh it in my head the better. I achieved perhaps 2,5/5 of what I want. But this amount is not ironclad, I will move on the moment I feel content. There are neat changes present - sometimes when I drift to sleep I hear 'echoes ' of voices. Various ones - the ones I heard for the day, the ones I remember. Despite them being strong, not even simply louder - more defined, I would've shrugged it off if not for one event. Two days short three weeks ago (time sure flies by fast) I was lying in bed drifting off to sleep. It was quite late, so my brain was more...unbound by dizziness. I was listening to all these echoes and let myself give a comment along the lines of "You're warming up these vocal chords, yea? Good for you." And then I felt a strong pull in my hair, like someone grabbed a lock on the top of my head and jerked it with force. Skin contracted far too strong to shrug it off. I think I apologised mildly in case I offended her. In case someone reads this load: did anyone experience this? Sorry, bold is glitching here. I also experience mood swings, though not radical. And sometimes I feel presence. And when it ends, I can feel that I'm once again in solitude in my room. I hope to end writing out traits by the end of the year, or several days into the new one.
waffles December 23, 2012 December 23, 2012 I remember feeling that skin stuff a shit-ton just before my tulpa started speaking. It seemed to be more emotional than controllably communicative. How have you managed to take so long doing personality?
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.