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*A Very Tulpish Journey*


SomethingDire

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Hey everyone,so it's been a week since I started my journey.Milestone?Probably.

 

Lots of things happened.Let me start by telling you that I've found a placeholder name.It's Céleste Nuit,which means 'Unworldly-Heavenly Night' in French.I know,it sounds cheesy.Too cheesy.But if you read my 6th progress report,you'll know about me seeing the placeholder form of my tulpa in a moonlight-bathed valley with rainbow colored crystals.That's where the name comes from.Although it sounds more like a book-movie title,it's important to keep in mind that it's just a placeholder name.Also,the idea-feeling I have of her(his?) upcoming personality is very compatible with the archetype of night.Calm,but very active at the same time,mysterious,energizing,protecting with the potential of being dangerous.So,I'd say it'll do for the time being.

 

I'm also working on the form.Right now,I'm at the process of merging the image of the man I saw in the LD with the placeholder form I created.About to start narrating.I should really stop putting that off.

 

That's it,for now.

I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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Heyo.This is the 8th day of my journey.So pretty good progress has been made.I got signs of parallel progressing all day,along with small headpressures.I also developed my wonderland;it has leveled up to a room with stuff in it.

I also progresssed with narration,although not too much.All I could do was smalltalk.I'm thinking that I should develop the ''feeling'' I have of Céleste first,than start trying talking with him.(Yes,him.Because today,I also -finally- figured out his sex.)

 

Also,seems to me that he has a thing for make-up tutorials on Youtube.I'll have you know that I hardly ever watch make-up tutorials.I'm only interested in them if they're detailed and-or if they have an interesting subject such as ''How to look like a living doll?''

 

But a few hours ago,I was on youtube and a Michelle Phan video popped up on my feed.As soon as I saw the video's thumbnail,(It was titled 'Free Spirit' or something,just putting that out there for the interested.)a thought flashed in my head,''Click on it.'' I was very surprised and -unsurprisingly- got to the conclusion of the thought being Céleste's.So I clicked on it.

 

Can't say I found it interesting,but after the video finished,a part of me felt satisfied.I'm sure that part was Céleste.

 

Ah,I also drew a drawing of his face.It's not perfect,nor is it completely true-to-form,but it's alright,since I essentially suck at drawing faces and the last time I drew one before this was about 7 months ago.(Also,did I mention how much I hate noses?) I promise the body will look better.I draw nude...*cough*stuff*cough* all day everyday...Selling them helps with the money.

 

 

Aaand,that's it.See you later.

 

 

http://imgur.com/bbRYtzl <<

 

Oh,and you probably saw the writing above the drawing and the odds are you're wondering ''What the actual shit is that...?''Well,thing is,my native language is Turkish.And thus,I-normally-write things in Turkish.Let me clear things up and translate it for you.

 

After I drew it,I had a friend come over.We sat down to talk,meanwhile,my sketchbook was open on a table near me.When my friend noticed it,she took it and started looking at the pages.When she noticed Céleste's drawing,she said;''Damn! This guy should be a character in Dragon Age!'' Then she told me she really liked the elven ears.I found it funny and Toplel'd.So,in regards to her,I wrote down what she said about the Picture above it.

 

That's the story.

I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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  • 5 months later...

So,uh...

I guess this is what bringing back the dead feels like?

I haven't been here for half a damn year. That's a helluva long time.

But,though,I believe (or,at least,made myself believe) that I have reasonable,well,reasons,for this.

 

Where do I start? Oh,right,Lucid Dreaming.

Lucid dreaming.

After the first week which I have reports about here,I practically drowned myself in it. Keeping a dream diary,learning how to meditate,doing reality checks constantly through the day AND THEN learning how I was supposed to apply this on my tulpa along with the large amounts of alcohol I consumed and the copious hours of my time that I invested on gaming (which usually started at 1 A.M and ended in 6:30 A.M) was hard. Really hard.

 

The point is,I tried to bring something into my life that would change me completely while having the fun that I hadn't been able to have since I was a small girl.

And it was stupid. But at that time,I couldn't see that this would -never- work.

 

Then came the time when I realized that my tulpa hadn't even said a word to me. That I'd probably been just playing fucking games,indulging myself and doing practically nothing besides drawing naked men,finishing half a liter of vodka every two days,playing Bloodborne non-stop and of course;smoking cappucino-flavored hookah untill my eyes turned bloodshot.

 

I circled down the drain thinking about ^these^things and what I'd done to my tulpa,practically dragging myself into a very ''Melanie Martinez-Pity Party'' kind of situation as a result. Depression,basically. Took me the whole of August to pick myself up. And then,of course,school. The fact that I filled myself up with alcohol the whole summer,which is something I almost never do,didn't help either. But then,Fallout 4 was released.and I finally grew some balls and foud the small amount of braveness in me to turn back to my tulpa.

 

Lots of progression happened. I can see it now that I can -objectively- look back at the few last months I practically wasted.

First of all,he picked a gender,as you've understood,he's a male. The name got stuck with him,his appearence is now almost stable (Perhaps I will upload a drawing soon!) and even though we still haven'T been able to ''talk'',lots of deviation and visual communication happened,meaning the majority of things have,hopefully,settled down.

 

As far as I can see,though,two pieces of the puzzle are still missing. Firstly,narration,secondly,I don't have a plan.

As to what kind of problems I have with narration; **********I don't know where to start. (What do I do? Say hello? Say ''Hey,there's this thing I'd like to talk about''?

And how do I know he's listening? How do I get his attention?)**********

And the problems with planning;**********Should I have steps? Example: I'll start practicing posession after xxxxxxx happens. Would you suggest this.even to a person like me,who really has problems with following rules and guidelines? (Well I -am- an INTP-A...) Do you think this is necessary for contunious development?**********

 

Lastly,if you're reading this,thank you. I know,my return hasn't been as glorious as Adele's journey back to the music industry,but I managed to say hello. :) I'm also sorry if I've dissappointed anyone. There was a nice person reading my posts...

 

Right,that's it.

 

I hereby declare this as the first day of my -official- return to the sinking ship that is Tulpa.Info.

I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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It doesn't matter how you pick narration up as long as you're doing it. It doesn't have to be perfect, just say what you need to say about the situation and move towards other things.

 

He'll be listening as long as you're directing those thoughts to him, so treat it as if you're reading a book to someone. Get him engaged, ask him questions about the things you're talking about (e.g. "what do you think about this, x?", "x, how do you think this particular thing can be improved?")

 

And, about the planning, there's no set in stone way to do this. It doesn't go from personality --> visualization --> narration or anything like that, you can work on those three all at the same, just one at a time, and can even skip one depending on your situation (though I'd say narration is essential to tulpa creation). It isn't necessary for continuous development, don't worry.

 

And so, with that, welcome back to .info!

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It doesn't matter how you pick narration up as long as you're doing it. It doesn't have to be perfect, just say what you need to say about the situation and move towards other things.

 

He'll be listening as long as you're directing those thoughts to him, so treat it as if you're reading a book to someone. Get him engaged, ask him questions about the things you're talking about (e.g. "what do you think about this, x?", "x, how do you think this particular thing can be improved?")

 

And, about the planning, there's no set in stone way to do this. It doesn't go from personality --> visualization --> narration or anything like that, you can work on those three all at the same, just one at a time, and can even skip one depending on your situation (though I'd say narration is essential to tulpa creation). It isn't necessary for continuous development, don't worry.

 

And so, with that, welcome back to .info!

 

 

 

Ooooh,look at that,a mod! Thank you for reading,helping and welcoming me back!

 

Eh,I'll guess I'll have to feel my way through narration,if that makes sense. I probably am making this way too complex. The advice is helpful nonetheless,engaging him and expecting him to help is going to help,or so I believe.

 

Same thing with steps. If I find something that I feel really strong about that involves my tulpa,I'll jot it down on a to-do list. But otherwise,I won't put limits or anything similiar. Like you said,no set-to-stone-way to do this.

Thanks again!

I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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Aaand I've done it. A drawing of Celeste's recent state. *sigh* I swear,it looks better in person.

http://m.imgur.com/account/somethingdire/account/somethingdire/images/zWAwqae

 

^^^^ that's the link to the picture. Alright,it's not that good,but don't you see a bit of Ryu Hayabusa in him?? Of course you do. This is Celsete we're talking about here...

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Hey all. I'm back with news.

So,yesterday,after spending some time drawing Céleste,I got to narration. After about half an hour,I felt his ''presence'' or his ''essence'' becoming clearer and more detailed.

Today,I narrated to him throughout the day. Got a really big head pressure while I was active forcing with him after school,it was great.

 

I guess that's it. I'll be back after another 24 hours.

I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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